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Thursday, May 30, 2019

Astros shortstop Carlos Correa says broken rib was caused by in-home massage

News broke earlier Wednesday that Astros star shortstop Carlos Correa is due to miss four-to-six weeks with a broken rib. All we knew at the time was that Correa wasn’t with his team at the ballpark and that his manager didn’t say how the injury happened. That remains the case leading up to Wednesday’s game:

Correa, though, has issued a statement. And, well, hold onto your hats:

“I’m extremely disappointed about not being on the field with my teammates. I sustained the rib fracture during a massage at my home on Tuesday. To sustain an injury in such an unusual way makes it even more frustrating. However, I will work hard to get back on the field as quickly as possible to help our team achieve our goal of winning another championship.”

There’s further mention that Correa isn’t at the ballpark due to being instructed to limit his movement which, with a broken rib, makes sense.

Is that what we’re calling it?

 

QLE Posted: May 30, 2019 at 10:23 AM | 15 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: carlos correa, injury, massage

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   1. The Duke Posted: May 31, 2019 at 08:24 AM (#5847048)
That’s a decidedly unhappy ending
   2. Zonk Rocks You Like a Sharpiecane Posted: May 31, 2019 at 08:44 AM (#5847053)
This seems like it would be either a case of "You're doing it VERY wrong".... or "Wow, nobody has ever done it so right".
   3. oscar madisox Posted: May 31, 2019 at 09:11 AM (#5847056)
The Astros will play the next month or so without Correa, Springer and Altuve. Their lineup, discounting Bregman and Brantley, looks like that of AAA Round Rock, except their two best minor leaguers are still with Round Rock. It's a good thing, I guess, that for most of the next month the Astros will be playing Triple-A teams - A's, Mariners, Orioles, Brewers, Blue Jays, and Reds before a Yankees series. The A's will be tough and maybe the Crew, but they should be able to handle the others before going to NY.
   4. Der-K: at 10% emotional investment Posted: May 31, 2019 at 11:18 AM (#5847084)
These jokes remind me of tweets around a question asked by Nicole Cliffe on Wednesday(?), canvassing her readers for injuries from doing ... things ... very wrong or very right. Anyway, they were often funny and (my point here) she's a worthwhile twitter follow.
   5. PreservedFish Posted: May 31, 2019 at 11:45 AM (#5847094)
About 15 years ago I spent a season teaching English in small city in bumblefuck Thailand. There was one nightclub I would go to that had an unusual men's room perk: bathroom attendants gave Thai massages while you were using the sink, or, upon request, urinal. If you've never had a strapping young Thai lad grab your head and snap it violently from side to side as you take a piss, I heartily recommend it.
   6. My name is Votto, and I love to get blotto Posted: May 31, 2019 at 01:20 PM (#5847105)
I've been re-watching "The Sopranos", and I'm up to the point where Steve Buscemi gets out on parole and takes a go at being a masseuse. It's an odd turn.
   7. Hysterical & Useless Posted: May 31, 2019 at 04:35 PM (#5847170)
takes a go at being a masseuse


I didn't remember the sex change.
   8. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: May 31, 2019 at 04:49 PM (#5847175)
I didn't remember the sex change.
It was the result of a particularly deep-tissue massage.
   9. asinwreck Posted: May 31, 2019 at 05:11 PM (#5847181)
Let this be a warning to Robert Kraft.
   10. Hank Gillette Posted: May 31, 2019 at 06:18 PM (#5847196)
If you've never had a strapping young Thai lad grab your head and snap it violently from side to side as you take a piss, I heartily recommend it.


Got get rid of those last few drops somehow.
   11. Hank Gillette Posted: May 31, 2019 at 06:19 PM (#5847197)
I’m extremely disappointed about not being on the field with my teammates. I sustained the rib fracture during a massage at my home on Tuesday.


Does this set a new record for the most unbelievable cause of injury?
   12. The Duke Posted: May 31, 2019 at 10:34 PM (#5847234)
Does anyone actually believe this story? It feels a lot more like Tiger Woods having his rear window caved in by a golf club except this time the club connected. If his ribs are that brittle, isn’t this a sign of some other issue? I’d be pretty worried about my bones if a rib cracked during a massage
   13. Fernigal McGunnigle Posted: June 01, 2019 at 07:43 AM (#5847290)
The story is so stupid and improbable that it's probably true, though obviously missing an all-important detail. A detail such as "It was one of those violent Thai urinal massages PreservedFish likes so much." Or "I got into a punch-up with the masseuse after we argued over the bill." Or "It was a BDSM massage went a little too far." If you're going to make #### up about a mundane injury at home, you just say you tripped on the edge of the carpet.

I've had Turkish massages that seemed likely to end in injury.
   14. Bote Man Posted: June 01, 2019 at 09:26 AM (#5847305)
Are we sure this isn't a case of domestic violence that he wants covered up??
   15. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: June 01, 2019 at 12:41 PM (#5847333)
"My "I cracked my ribs getting a massage" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt."

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