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1. Joey B. has ignited his October #Natitude Posted: August 22, 2012 at 02:06 PM (#4214856)Not exactly a surprise though. Colon has been pushing the envelope with respect to medicine.
Yes, Bartolo Colon, another product of the Oakland Athletics' vast steroids conspiracy.
Dope.
Hope Straily didn't get too comfortable back in Sacto. Come on back, buddy. I guess this also ends the quandary of whether to re-sign fatso or not.
Ah, I wish I'd made this joke. Cheers to you, sir.
Since Colon isn't going on the DL, Straily may be stuck with Sacto for 10 days. Unless they can trump up an injury to another player.
I guess Blackley gets a start, then, which is fine with me. AJ Griffin is coming back soon, too. Colon has been good, but the A's will be fine without him. Man, if Colon was doping ANYONE can be doping. We've reached Invasion of the Body Snatchers level of paranoia.
Oof. That's the least appealing option. Stupid Colon. What this town needs is a Colonoscopy!
I'm not a doctor, but none. No chance. Nada.
I find it interesting that the two most recent guys caught were both significant comeback players (well, breakout player in Cabrera's case) in 2011 before making further strides this year.
Hmmm, who else is enjoying a bounceback season in his late 30s?
Don't look at me. I've become consistently more pathetic as God and nature intended.
Oh, crap. Since when? Now you tell me.
Is it too late to cancel my surgery?
Please let it be Soriano.
Don't worry gef, I'm a pro at these human centipede procedures. Never fear.
Hey man, which MLB stadium was the cover shot for a Conte-era Tower of Power LP?
It all adds up.
That aside, I am not at all surprised that Colon tested positive.
It still blows my mind he was in Tower of Power.
Not in his 30s, but Frenchy's bounceback last year looks suspicious now, no? And who was his teammate? MELKY CABRERA!
Jeter, Chavez, Ibanez, and since putting on pinstripes, Ichiro. There's something funny going on in New York.
[Note: I don't actually think the Yankees are using steroids.]
Compared to the rest of his body, Colon's head is like a grape resting on top of a watermelon.
What's Spanish for "A nipple on Dolly Parton's ###?"
You lie. I know of few blokes in their late 30s who don't think twice about walking from Chelsea to the Upper East Side.
Ah, but in my younger days I would have made that walk with a naked woman on my back.
This is supposedly Bartolo Colon in 1997 or so.. Not a teenager but I'm still not buying it.
edit: And I'm not buying this one either.
"...and is that enough for Bud Selig to lift the ban on Pete Rose."
People still ask Will Carroll questions?
Not sure why it matters. It's not like he pissed in Colon's urine sample.
I'm in my late 40's and I had a bounceback hour this afternoon...and it was totally due to banned substances.
Now THERE is a product idea. Powdered creatine flavor!
TerpsNats beat me to it.
Here it is.
Got that one too.
Huh.
"This was unintentional on Colon's part. He didn't know about the testosterone when he ate Melky Cabrera."
"Colon on PEDs, huh? I didn't realize they made Performance Enhancing Donuts..."
Where were all you guys during this game?
"Both pitchers are bringing the cheese today"
"They're matching up donuts on the scoreboard"
"DH or not, these guys can really help themselves at the plate"
With apologies to The Onion, that was one tired mound.
Is there a point to this? Are you implying that the Bay Area is a magical place that causes ballplayers' testosterone to shoot up when they show up or are you just spouting obvious facts for the benefit of all? If you're implying that the Giants and A's are actively encouraging PED use, I would love to hear your arguments based on the positive tests of two guys who only showed up this year for their respective teams. Also, is there anyway we can get Brandon Belt and Cliff Pennington on the stuff, because that would be fantastic. Thanks in advance.
Bumbles bounce!
Of course, weebles wobble, but they don't fall down. It takes them 50 days to pop back up.
*knocks on wood*
At this point, I'm hoping for a Giants/A's WS in which the stars are Melky and Colon.
Actually, I'd rather have the White Sox or Rays than the A's, but they'd be a good third choice.
Don't take offense, it's a pattern. For the Giants you've got Bonds and Melky, for the A's you've got McGwire, Canseco, Giambi, Tejada, and now Colon. I'm probably missing a few players for each team, but that's a lot of steroid history across a long time.
If I had to pick a team most likely for a steroid user to be on, it would be one of these two teams. Them's just the facts. Maybe the Yankees, too, since they've had Giambi, A-ROD, Pettite, Clemens, etc. Those three teams would be my most likely.
Some teams just have more roiders. The end.
Yeah, that's... um... you know there's kind of a big leap there, right?
I really doubt it. Just because only one Kirk Radomski fell into George Mitchell's lap doesn't mean that there wasn't (and isn't) a Kirk Radomski in every MLB town. And probably lots of minor league towns too.
What's Manny's Bay area connection? Mike Jacobs'? Ryan Braun's?
Then how come some teams have had more users publicly exposed than others? If PED use was uniformly spread you would expect something approaching a uniform distribution of positive tests and paper trails.
Steroid users don't spring from the earth like daisies. Pettite learns from Clemens, Melky learns from A-ROD, Sheffield (also a yankee) learns from Bonds. You could probably draw a node-edge diagram map for the spread of steroid knowledge within organizations, groups of friends, clients of the same facilities, or players with the same agent. Some groups have a lot of users, others none, some intermediate. The reason a lot of steroid users are discovered on the Yankees, Athletics, and Giants (or associated with BALCO) is that those teams have--historically and probably currently--had more steroid users than other teams.
That's a model, and the data fits.
All of this of course is entirely compartmentalized among a few key people, which is the exact point you were you we're trying to refute.
Now the guys at the top of the chain certainly aren't personally giving PEDs to the players or telling them to do drugs, but they are "wink and a nod" enablers to the core. Their attitude is clearly one of "do what you will; we don't care and we don't want to know what you're doing".
OK, now back to the flame war.
And I will continue to come out and say you're a dope. Go back to enjoying your zombie Expos.
Oh snap, the zombie Expos! I'll bet that if the A's had stayed in Kansas City they wouldn't be such a bunch of amoral, cheating druggies.
Yeah, there would never be druggies in Kansas City, Professor History.
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