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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Baseball Prospectus | Pebble Hunting: Baseball and the F Word

This is F***ing awesome!

Jim Furtado Posted: May 22, 2012 at 09:26 AM | 33 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: funny

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Statements posted here are those of our readers and do not represent the BaseballThinkFactory. Names are provided by the poster and are not verified. We ask that posters follow our submission policy. Please report any inappropriate comments.

   1. Jolly Old St. Nick Still Gags in October Posted: May 22, 2012 at 09:46 AM (#4137605)
Mother##### of Mercy!!!
   2. Mattbert Posted: May 22, 2012 at 10:02 AM (#4137611)
The Josh Hamilton one cracked me up.
   3. BDC Posted: May 22, 2012 at 10:03 AM (#4137612)
I'm glad they linked to the 1898 "Go #### yourself." Sometimes the classics really do set the standard for our current achievements. Earl Weaver's "Terry Crowley's lucky he's in ####### baseball, for Chrissakes" sets a high bar, but so it should be.
   4. Gonfalon B. Posted: May 22, 2012 at 10:23 AM (#4137628)
I'm partial to Tommy Lasorda on Doug Rau: "He can't get the lefthanders out, for Christ all#######mighty."
   5. Jolly Old St. Nick Still Gags in October Posted: May 22, 2012 at 10:31 AM (#4137637)
   6. Karl from NY Posted: May 22, 2012 at 11:14 AM (#4137678)
My favorite lip-reading moment that I actually saw (on tv) was Andy Pettitte's reaction to the Pujols homer off Lidge in the 2005 NLCS. No audio but the "OH MY GOD" was clearly visible. For a couple months afterwards, my roommate and I mouthed that to each other as our mutual reaction to almost anything remarkable.
   7. SoSH U at work Posted: May 22, 2012 at 11:28 AM (#4137685)
I gotta confess, I lip read at like a third-grade level. I could only make out about one or two of those (it was still a good read, though I probably would have found it more enjoyable if each gif was close captioned for the lip-reading impaired).
   8. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: May 22, 2012 at 11:47 AM (#4137700)
The greatest lip reading moment ever was Vin Scully during Game Six of the 1985 NLCS. I don't remember it precisely but it was something on the order of "Lasorda is saying 'do I walk him or do I pitch to that so and so". He pitched to the so and so and Clark hit one about 12 miles.
   9. Flynn Posted: May 22, 2012 at 12:06 PM (#4137711)
Pete Rose yelling \"#### you, Shakespeare!" to Jim Bouton might be my favorite use of #### in MLB history.
   10. Johnny Slick Posted: May 22, 2012 at 12:59 PM (#4137749)
9 posts and no reference to Joe Schultz? ########. ########.
   11. Bug Selig Posted: May 22, 2012 at 01:04 PM (#4137754)
9 posts and no reference to Joe Schultz?
Or Lee Elia?
   12. Tripon Posted: May 22, 2012 at 01:06 PM (#4137758)
Earl Weaver's Terry Crowley's rant is real? Niiiiiiiice.
   13. SoSH U at work Posted: May 22, 2012 at 01:32 PM (#4137787)
Earl Weaver's Terry Crowley's rant is real? Niiiiiiiice.


It's real in the sense that Earl actually said those things. But it was intended as a joke and was not meant to be (nor was it) aired.

Elia's and Lasorda's rants were the genuine articles.

   14. Bob Evans Posted: May 22, 2012 at 01:49 PM (#4137803)
I now want a few minutes of my life back, but I suppose I have no one to blame but myself.
   15. Johnny Slick Posted: May 22, 2012 at 02:06 PM (#4137816)
I've heard an unaired radio clip of Weaver on the Orioles pregame show. Apparently the producers decided to, um, "get his goat" by having people call in and ask him questions totally unrelated to baseball. He, um, did not take this well. I'm sure this clip can be found somewhere on the Internets. As yells go, it's not Bill O'Reilly \"#### IT WE'RE DOING THIS LIVE" or Buddy Rich, but it's still goodstuffs.
   16. Golfing Great Mitch Cumstein Posted: May 22, 2012 at 02:31 PM (#4137836)
That's what #13 is referring to and the story I heard was that Weaver was in on it. It was a pregame segment that wasn't going to be aired because of a rain out and Weaver and the host decided to have fun telling Alice to hustle her ass at some bars.
   17. Golfing Great Mitch Cumstein Posted: May 22, 2012 at 02:31 PM (#4137837)
   18. BDC Posted: May 22, 2012 at 02:53 PM (#4137860)
Both Tom Marr and Weaver are trying hard not to crack up during Manager's Corner (needless to day, NSFW without headphones). It's a planned gag, but OTOH it probably registers Weaver's opinion of Don Stanhouse and Terry Crowley accurately.
   19. The Clarence Thomas of BBTF (scott) Posted: May 22, 2012 at 03:16 PM (#4137886)
That was a ####### pleasure to watch.

eta: "Get them big cocksuckers who can hit the ####### ball out the goddamned ballpark and you can't make any mistakes."

Can't put his strategy better than that.
   20. Good cripple hitter Posted: May 22, 2012 at 03:52 PM (#4137907)
I was looking for a transcript of the Weaver gag, and I found this lovely piece of work reportedly said by Goose Gossage:

"Everybody, the way they boo ####### Griffey and everybody else. And you #############, all you cocksuckers with a ####### pen , and a ####### tape recorder, you can turn it on and take it upstairs to the fat man! Ok? Cause I'm ####### sick of this ####### ####! The negative ####### bullshit, you got it? Everything that you guys read, write, these ############# read, these dumb ####### in the seats! Yeah, you turn it on. Turn it on you crazy ####. Yeah, they read everything that you ####### write. And we hear the same ####### lines, you know what I mean? ####### negative #############. No wonder you're ####### carrying a pad and a ####### paper around. You ain't worth the ####### #### to do anything else. You #############!"

I've never heard of that one before.

I don't think that the Todd Stottlemyre rant gets enough respect. The Weaver, Elia, and Lasorda's rants about Kingman's performance and Kurt Bevacqua always get mentioned in discussions like this, but Stottlemyre having his voice crack while repeatedly yelling "I'm pissed!" and "I lost my ####### cool!" as a reporter responds "No! No! No!" in a scared tone to Todd's rhetorical questions is some great material.
   21. Fred Lynn Nolan Ryan Sweeney Agonistes Posted: May 22, 2012 at 04:03 PM (#4137923)
I love the Gossage rant, but I'm always surprised at how squeaky his voice sounds - it's like Daffy Duck losing his [mind].
   22. Gary Truth Serum Posted: May 22, 2012 at 04:28 PM (#4137945)
It's real in the sense that Earl actually said those things. But it was intended as a joke and was not meant to be (nor was it) aired.


Well, it wasn't aired on Manager's Corner. But it was (mistakenly) aired on a YES broadcast of an O's-Yanks game in 2008 when the announcers started discussing Terry Crowley as the O's hitting coach. There were many apologies for that.
   23. DA Baracus Posted: May 22, 2012 at 04:44 PM (#4137961)
Since a bunch of these are after screwing up: Bert Blyleven.
   24. Morty Causa Posted: May 22, 2012 at 05:07 PM (#4137988)
To coin a Bizarro saying, all those gifs are worthless without audio. It's kind of dumb, anyway. They all look remarkably alike. That's what the ubiquitous use of the word ####, in all his majestic permutations, has done. Reduced all rants to the same unenterprising vanilla thing. Set it to rap/hip-hop and stick a fork in it.
   25. The Clarence Thomas of BBTF (scott) Posted: May 22, 2012 at 05:29 PM (#4138022)
I remember when that happened to Bert, to his credit he made a solid recovery.

That's what the ubiquitous use of the word ####, in all his majestic permutations, has done.


Oh please, it's like salt. It's never going to be good on it's own but you wouldn't want to cook without it.
   26. Gonfalon B. Posted: May 22, 2012 at 07:14 PM (#4138099)
Yeah, you turn it on. Turn it on you crazy ####.

Gossage wasn't talking to a crazy ####sucker, he was talking to a greasy ####sucker. An important distinction. Would you misquote Dickens?
   27. asinwreck Posted: May 22, 2012 at 07:22 PM (#4138107)
The "fat man" transcript reminds me that Goose could go off on a quality rant. After he signed with the Padres, he complained that Ray Kroc's hamburgers tasted like masking tape.
   28. Morty Causa Posted: May 22, 2012 at 07:50 PM (#4138136)
All I know is people are drunk with use of that word--drunker than a poet on pay day. And all of it tiresomely uninteresting. But don't listen to me. Lie, cheat, steal, and listen to heavy metal music. See if I care. [Are-a-gano???]
   29. CFiJ Posted: May 22, 2012 at 08:27 PM (#4138195)
I want to show people this whenever I hear or read something about Deadwood's profanity being "anachronistic". The Special Instructions are from 1898, and Deadwood was set in 1876, a mere 22 years earlier. And indeed, the tirades in the Special Instructions have a distinct Deadwood feel to them (particularly the ubiquitous "You cøcksucker!"

I don't know why people think they didn't use just as much profanity in the past as we do today. The f-word's earliest attestation is 1475, for crying out loud!
   30. Morty Causa Posted: May 22, 2012 at 08:50 PM (#4138218)
That's not my objection. My complaint is more along the lines of Milhouse's wrt "jiminy jillikers". #### is used so promiscuously and indiscriminately that it's come to lose all meaning. It's like a placeholder waiting for an original thought and expression that never comes.
   31. Ryan Lind Posted: May 22, 2012 at 09:31 PM (#4138260)
If anyone can write up a transcript of all these GIFs it would be brilliant.
   32. Bob Evans Posted: May 22, 2012 at 09:54 PM (#4138290)
#### is used so promiscuously and indiscriminately that it's come to lose all meaning.

Say it to a cop and get back to me. /grin
   33. Morty Causa Posted: May 23, 2012 at 12:04 AM (#4138347)
Up and at them.

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