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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

BBTIA: The Strangest Moment Of Dave Barnett’s Broadcasting Career

I knew Pynchon was having a weirdass plug campaign…but I didn’t know he was making the rounds!

So, for everyone asking about what in the hell happened to Dave Barnett during the bottom of the eighth inning of Monday night’s Rangers/Padres telecast, here is the raw audio of what can only be described as an unintelligible string of words, where Barnett begins rambling about the go-ahead run being on fifth base and a botched robbery and henchmen and other stuff that makes zero sense within the context of a baseball telecast:

...It sounds like the FSNSW production crew cut Barnett’s mic off once they realized that something was very wrong, and from that point onward, Barnett sounded normal—I mean, normal by his standards at the very least.

Repoz Posted: June 19, 2012 at 07:08 AM | 19 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: announcers, rangers

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   1. Walt Davis Posted: June 19, 2012 at 07:45 AM (#4160853)
The human brain is one weird organ.

Though I am tempted to change my handle to "born on fifth base thinking I hit a quintuple."
   2. Jose Is The Most Absurd Thing on the Site Posted: June 19, 2012 at 07:46 AM (#4160854)
That's the kind of thing you'd hear someone say in the opening scene of an episode of "House" right before they collapsed. Hopefully that was just a misspeak and not a sign of something else.
   3. Delino DeShields & Yarnell Posted: June 19, 2012 at 09:19 AM (#4160894)
The list of suspected henchmen included..... George Clooney.
   4. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: June 19, 2012 at 09:41 AM (#4160906)
This is fascinating.

I'm envisioning that the player representing the go-ahead run has set up his own base somewhere in the middle of the infield, by stealing Mike Adams's pitching rubber.
   5. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: June 19, 2012 at 10:02 AM (#4160918)
That's the kind of thing you'd hear someone say in the opening scene of an episode of "House" right before they collapsed.


Well, at least we know it's not lupus.

TFA speculated that it might have been a migraine. That seems like one of the less serious possibilities, so I'm going to hope for that.
   6. A big pile of nonsense (gef the talking mongoose) Posted: June 19, 2012 at 10:14 AM (#4160925)
Yeah. Looks like a couple of people there provided links to reports of somewhat similar migraine-related episodes.

Lord. Scary.

(Never had a migraine. My deepest sympathies to those of you who have & do. They sound godawful.)
   7. The Long Arm of Rudy Law Posted: June 19, 2012 at 10:15 AM (#4160928)
In high school I tried to get to fifth base with a girl. The robbery wasn't the only thing that was botched by henchman.
   8. boteman Posted: June 19, 2012 at 03:13 PM (#4161243)
President Bush (the elder) was said to suffer from dysphasia when he would sometimes vocally wander during an interview or Q&A session. The linked definition doesn't do this explanation justice, but it falls in line with what this sound byte contains.

It also explains the weird combinations of words and typos in the first few posts of that R.A. Dickey appeal thread from the other day. Maybe it's spreading?
   9. vortex of dissipation Posted: June 19, 2012 at 05:17 PM (#4161388)
Barnett is to undergo tests regarding his migraines, and will miss the next two games.
   10. Esmailyn Gonzalez Sr. Posted: June 19, 2012 at 05:39 PM (#4161409)
side effects include Verbal Dysphasia and Octopus Loss
   11. AndrewJ Posted: June 19, 2012 at 06:07 PM (#4161432)
President Bush (the elder) was said to suffer from dysphasia when he would sometimes vocally wander during an interview or Q&A session.

One of his White House speechwriters was baseball author Curt Smith. Flip open any of Curt's baseball announcer anecdote books to a random page and you'll see where the dysphasia came from.
   12. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: June 19, 2012 at 06:10 PM (#4161435)
Go #### yourself San Diego!
   13. Vance W Posted: June 19, 2012 at 06:36 PM (#4161450)
I was listening to that game. Although the sudden rambling sounded like authentic Dave Barnett, my mind couldn't accept that possibility. I thought it had to be some kind of bleedover from another channel or something. Or, I worried, maybe it was me that malfunctioning. Rather frightening, as a friend of mine, recovering from a brain tumor sometime loses grasp of the language and responds to "good morning" with something like "goldfish."
   14. Srul Itza Posted: June 19, 2012 at 06:51 PM (#4161458)
Never had a migraine


I don't get migraines, except one time when I had an optical migraine. No head pain involved -- my vision just started to fracture. Over the course of a half hour to 45 minutes, it went from being a spot in my field of vision in one eye that would not go away, to looking as if I was looking at the world through a mix of broken glass and crinkled cellophane.

Somewhere in the middle of that I had my wife drive me to the emergency room, because I had no idea what was happening and I assumed some neurological event. After I got there, over the course of the next half hour to 45 minutes, it reversed itself. I did not get a straight answer from anyone and spent the night under observation.

The next morning, the partner of my regular doctor came by, and told me what I had. I looked it up and the symptoms fit perfectly. Never had another one, and this was around 10 years ago or so.
   15. Dan Lee is some pumkins Posted: June 19, 2012 at 07:10 PM (#4161469)
a friend of mine, recovering from a brain tumor sometime loses grasp of the language and responds to "good morning" with something like "goldfish."
Which reminds me...how many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Bluefish.
   16. Dan The Mediocre Posted: June 19, 2012 at 07:16 PM (#4161478)
I get migraines occasionally. Starts with a blurred area in my vision, then a tingling in my face, then intense pain that becomes unbearable when I perceive light or sound.

I would only wish them on one person, but only because they get frequent migraines that seem worse than that.
   17. a bebop a rebop Posted: June 19, 2012 at 10:26 PM (#4161659)
This is evil... but every time he gets to "botched robbery," I break out in uncontrollable giggles. It's just so ... incongruous.

EDIT: "fifth base" is good too. Also, really hoping he's ok.
   18. Wins Above Paul Westerberg Posted: June 20, 2012 at 01:18 AM (#4161747)

side effects include Verbal Dysphasia and Octopus Loss


Not to mention flushing, blushing and extreme shortness of pants.
   19. Infinite Joost (Voxter) Posted: June 20, 2012 at 05:21 AM (#4161779)
Nice try, Stephen Fry.

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