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Friday, February 15, 2013

Blue Jays Press Release: Melky Cabrera statement

and then quickly rushes back to a slinky Hoboken discoprophagia where some random Wall Street dude from Ho-Ho-Kus will end up gutterfisted!

“Last season ended for me when I admitted taking a banned substance and accepted and served my punishment of a 50 game suspension. Since that day, my goals have been to serve my punishment and to put that mistake behind me, and to work hard to be the best baseball player I can be. At the end of last season, when it became clear that I would win the batting title despite my positive test, I asked the Players Association and MLB to make sure a more deserving player won, and I am very happy that my former teammate Buster Posey won that award instead of me.

I also accepted the Giants’ decision not to bring me back for the Playoffs after I served my punishment. Instead, I continued to work hard so I could be ready for the 2013 season. I hoped and expected that I would be allowed to put my mistake behind me and to start this season fresh.

I am aware that in the past weeks, there have been news articles written about so-called patient files from a Miami clinic, and the MLB and others are investigating those allegations. I have told MLB I will cooperate in their investigation the best I can, just as my legal counsel has told federal investigators.  I have been instructed by legal counsel not to answer questions relating to the pending investigations.  This statement will be the last comment I will make on the events of the 2012 season.  I have put my mistakes behind me, have learned my lesson, and have served my punishment.  I am here to play the best baseball I can to help the Toronto Blue Jays win a World Championship.”

Repoz Posted: February 15, 2013 at 07:59 AM | 15 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: blue jays

Reader Comments and Retorts

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Statements posted here are those of our readers and do not represent the BaseballThinkFactory. Names are provided by the poster and are not verified. We ask that posters follow our submission policy. Please report any inappropriate comments.

   1. eddieot Posted: February 15, 2013 at 08:43 AM (#4370184)
"... and I'm in the best shape of my life."
   2. John DiFool2 Posted: February 15, 2013 at 08:43 AM (#4370185)
Hoboken? OOOOH I'M DYYYYING....
   3. Jack Carter, calling Beleaguered Castle Posted: February 15, 2013 at 08:57 AM (#4370190)
At the end of last season, when it became clear that I would win the batting title despite my positive test, I asked the Players Association and MLB to make sure a more deserving player won, and I am very happy that my former teammate Buster Posey won that award instead of me.


Good for Cabrera.
   4. villageidiom Posted: February 15, 2013 at 09:09 AM (#4370193)
Fun with punctuation:

Blue Jays Press Release Melky Cabrera: statement
Blue Jays Press: Release Melky Cabrera! (statement)
Blue Jays: Press, Release Melky Cabrera; statement

   5. RMc's Unenviable Situation Posted: February 15, 2013 at 09:52 AM (#4370211)
Haiku, anyone?

Blue Jays Press Release,
Melky Cabrera Statement,
Blue Jays Press Release.

It fits!
   6. Ulysses S. Fairsmith Posted: February 15, 2013 at 10:43 AM (#4370242)
He took evil 'roids.
Cabrera will burn in Hell.
Worst thing you can do!
   7. Ulysses S. Fairsmith Posted: February 15, 2013 at 10:48 AM (#4370247)
Pud Galvin did it
(drinkin' that monkey spunk juice).
What Would Gossage Do?
   8. . . . . . . . . . . Posted: February 15, 2013 at 12:58 PM (#4370315)
Spring, glorious time!
Pitchers and catchers, harvest
Deer Antler Velvet
   9. Random Transaction Generator Posted: February 15, 2013 at 02:00 PM (#4370340)
It is spring training.
In best shape of my career.
Shh! Don't ask me how.
   10. Shock Posted: February 15, 2013 at 02:08 PM (#4370342)
Strong without steroids
Spinach and three cups per day
The melk man returns
   11. Jesse Barfield's Right Arm Posted: February 15, 2013 at 02:53 PM (#4370356)
More of a limerick man myself.

There once was a Giant From San Fran
Who put something straight in his can can
He then bought some strange cream
And aint it a dream
Cause now he swings bats like he’s Bam Bam
   12. 'Spos Posted: February 15, 2013 at 03:33 PM (#4370378)
PED rumours
MURRAY CHASS PRESIDENT JOKE
Maybe it's a trap?
   13. Walt Davis Posted: February 15, 2013 at 05:01 PM (#4370429)
the rare limerick haiku

The first Jay of spring
hopefully without syringe
bad for the liver
Melk Man seeks a forgiver
the hope flowers bring
   14. fhomess Posted: February 15, 2013 at 05:01 PM (#4370430)
Cause now he swings bats like he’s Bam Bam

He was a much better hitter last year than his hitting coach ever was.
   15. willcarrolldoesnotsuk Posted: February 16, 2013 at 12:46 AM (#4370588)
My goal for next year:
Be the best that I can be.
I mean, without roids.

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