Baseball for the Thinking Fan

Login | Register | Feedback

btf_logo
You are here > Home > Baseball Newsstand > Baseball Primer Newsblog > Discussion
Baseball Primer Newsblog
— The Best News Links from the Baseball Newsstand

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Bois: Skybox Thunder, When Baseball Card Writers Tried To Rap

I have the complete set of this lively dead text.

Rap is great. Sports cards are terrible. 1999 was terrible. Rap in 1999 was really, really terrible. Rapping sports cards in 1999 are the very worst thing. In this edition of Sports Cards For Insane People, we visit a ridiculous rapping card set.

Until I discovered the 1999 Skybox Thunder baseball card set a few days ago…

Mike Lansing card:

One ... two ... three, four, five. Brother, your game is all the way live. With all your skillz, you’re bound to thrive.

SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, TEN, ELEVEN, DROPPIN A base11 NUMERICAL FORMAT ON YA HEAD LIKE PERHAPS A BLUEBIRD WOULD ACCIDENTALLY DROP A PIECE OF TOAST oh god i wish i could just go back to formatting batting averages

Travis Lee card:

Travis, you’re the most famous Lee since Robert E. But your game ain’t civil, no, when you get your groove on, you go buck wild in the wild, wild West.

YYYYEP I JUST NAME-CHECKED A FREAKING CONFEDERATE GENERAL IN A RAP SONG

LOOK THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO TELL YOU I’M A WHITE PERSON WITHOUT JUST COMING OUT AND SAYING IT

Repoz Posted: December 03, 2011 at 04:52 PM | 12 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: history, media, memorabilia

Reader Comments and Retorts

Go to end of page

Statements posted here are those of our readers and do not represent the BaseballThinkFactory. Names are provided by the poster and are not verified. We ask that posters follow our submission policy. Please report any inappropriate comments.

   1. Guapo Posted: December 03, 2011 at 05:34 PM (#4005693)
Great, great article. That cheered me up.
   2. The Long Arm of Rudy Law Posted: December 03, 2011 at 05:38 PM (#4005696)
I read them more like sonnets than rap.
   3. Greg K Posted: December 03, 2011 at 06:08 PM (#4005709)
Speaking of the Civil War...

There's some bands I'd like to name-check
And one of them is REM


Also speaking of the Civil War. I was having an argument with a friend the other day over who was more badass, Sherman or Nelson. I will concede that if they met in a dark alley my money would be on Sherman, but if you measure badassery by how willing a person is to put themselves in insanely dangerous situations, continually lose body parts, and still bang the Angelina Jolie of the day...then I'm going to have to go with Horatio.
   4. The Long Arm of Rudy Law Posted: December 03, 2011 at 06:19 PM (#4005712)
Also speaking of the Civil War. I was having an argument with a friend the other day over who was more badass, Sherman or Nelson. I will concede that if they met in a dark alley my money would be on Sherman, but if you measure badassery by how willing a person is to put themselves in insanely dangerous situations, continually lose body parts, and still bang the Angelina Jolie of the day...then I'm going to have to go with Horatio.


Only if Forrest isn't there.
   5. Zach Posted: December 03, 2011 at 06:24 PM (#4005716)
Nelson is an interesting character. It's hard to think of anyone else who spent as much of his career consciously, deliberately -- and successfully! -- trying to be a hero. Sherman's more of an antihero.
   6. Bhaakon Posted: December 03, 2011 at 07:58 PM (#4005811)
Nelson is an interesting character. It's hard to think of anyone else who spent as much of his career consciously, deliberately -- and successfully! -- trying to be a hero.


Patton comes to mind, but 20th century generals didn't really have the same opportunity for front-line badassery as they did in Nelson's day.
   7. Vance W Posted: December 03, 2011 at 08:19 PM (#4005825)
T.E. Lawerence was another person who deliberately courted hero status--at least before he actually got it. But British naval officers of the Napoleanic era are just intrinsically cool.
   8. Lassus Posted: December 03, 2011 at 08:34 PM (#4005839)
Bois: Skybox Thunder, When Baseball Card Writers Tried To Rap

They did a better job than Don DeLillo did in "Cosmopolis", at least
   9. Bob Evans Posted: December 03, 2011 at 09:20 PM (#4005881)
This somehow manages to be written even worse than the raps.
   10. bobm Posted: December 03, 2011 at 09:27 PM (#4005893)
[3] Sherman's famous letter to the city of Atlanta in 1864 was badass:

"You cannot qualify war in harsher terms than I will. War is cruelty, and you cannot refine it; and those who brought war into our country deserve all the curses and maledictions a people can pour out."
   11. RMc's desperate, often sordid world Posted: December 04, 2011 at 02:49 AM (#4006169)
I absolutely refuse to believe this actually happened, even in the cultural cesspool that was the 1990s. Somebody's playing a sick joke, right? Right...?!
   12. Something Other Posted: December 04, 2011 at 11:36 AM (#4006430)
Rap is great.
Rap is a an art form so willfully self-limited that its very nature all but precludes greatness. Early Public Enemy, on the other hand, was da bomb.

You must be Registered and Logged In to post comments.

 

 

<< Back to main

BBTF Partner

Support BBTF

donate

Thanks to
Forsch 10 From Navarone (Dayn)
for his generous support.

Bookmarks

You must be logged in to view your Bookmarks.

Hot Topics

NewsblogCuban outfielder Rusney Castillo to sign with the Red Sox for $72 million
(59 - 11:40pm, Aug 22)
Last: The District Attorney

NewsblogA Look Inside Baseball's Ever-Evolving Stimulant Culture | Bleacher Report
(45 - 11:35pm, Aug 22)
Last: Bunny Vincennes

NewsblogOMNICHATTER 8-22-2014
(38 - 11:30pm, Aug 22)
Last: Random Transaction Generator

NewsblogPhillies have decisions to make heading into '15
(26 - 11:26pm, Aug 22)
Last: Ziggy

NewsblogDowney: Let Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame already
(85 - 11:25pm, Aug 22)
Last: Jolly Old St. Nick Is A Jolly Old St. Crip

NewsblogManny Machado Likely Out For Season
(21 - 11:19pm, Aug 22)
Last: Jolly Old St. Nick Is A Jolly Old St. Crip

NewsblogOT: Politics, August 2014: DNC criticizes Christie’s economic record with baseball video
(4974 - 11:19pm, Aug 22)
Last: Rickey! On a blog from 1998. With the candlestick.

NewsblogPosnanski: The Royals might actually know what they are doing
(99 - 11:14pm, Aug 22)
Last: McCoy

NewsblogDRays Bay: Rays to Montreal? “Smart chronicler” says yes
(34 - 10:39pm, Aug 22)
Last: boteman is not here 'til October

NewsblogReddit AMA: Thad Levine (Rangers assistant GM)
(3 - 10:31pm, Aug 22)
Last: JE (Jason)

NewsblogPrimer Dugout (and link of the day) 8-22-2014
(45 - 10:03pm, Aug 22)
Last: AndrewJ

NewsblogVotto appears. . .and speaks | The Real McCoy | Cincinnati Reds baseball news
(12 - 9:53pm, Aug 22)
Last: Walt Davis

NewsblogBrisbee: Rusney Castillo reminds us how screwed amateur players can be
(25 - 9:47pm, Aug 22)
Last: PreservedFish

NewsblogPete Rose’s Reckless Gamble
(5 - 9:14pm, Aug 22)
Last: bobm

NewsblogFG: Ben Revere and the Emptiest Batting Average Ever
(26 - 7:32pm, Aug 22)
Last: shoewizard

Page rendered in 0.1131 seconds
52 querie(s) executed