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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Brisbee: Starting lineups and rotations, as described by Google autocomplete

Worth actually googling: Nick Markakis takes strike one and J.J. Hardy on Young and the Restless.

Worth actually googling: Troy Tulowitzki hits ball twice, Juan Uribe is emo, and A.J. Ellis delivers a baby.

Not worth googling: Buster Posey ethnicity. Boy, you’re never going to guess this, but ...

Please don’t google: Tim Lincecum/Barry Zito fanfic. It’s what you fear, what you expect. And the sequel has problems in the last half with a lot of unresolved plot points, and there are a bunch of rehashed descriptions in the lovemaking scenes. Don’t even get me started on the third one.

Worth googling: Aramis Ramirez gets goosed, Jay Bruce appears to levitate, and Mat Latos Karate Kid. The exclamation point after the Latos result is to note my pleasant surprise, because that result is based off an image I made. Proud.

Not worth googling: Joey Votto never hit foul ball.

The District Attorney Posted: March 12, 2014 at 07:11 PM | 20 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: gallimaufry, technology

Reader Comments and Retorts

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Statements posted here are those of our readers and do not represent the BaseballThinkFactory. Names are provided by the poster and are not verified. We ask that posters follow our submission policy. Please report any inappropriate comments.

   1. Joyful Calculus Instructor Posted: March 12, 2014 at 07:42 PM (#4670641)
Pretty much every baseball player name I put in gives the same first choice (besides just their name by itself) "PLAYER NAME fangraphs." For David Wright, I get fangraphs, stats, and wedding. I have no idea where they got tongue from.
   2. Joyful Calculus Instructor Posted: March 12, 2014 at 07:46 PM (#4670642)
Ok, actually went to the article.

These are from the drop-down menu in Firefox's browser search. I entered a player's name, followed by one letter from A to Z, and the result included here appeared on the drop-down menu.


So I guess that makes more sense but ... why?!
   3. Jim Wisinski Posted: March 12, 2014 at 08:04 PM (#4670646)
These are really great. For the excerpted one I think "Eric Young Jr. mercury poisoning", "Ruben Tejada faceplant", "Bartolo Colon rolls down a hill uncontrollably", and "Dillon Gee on Sesame Street" all describe the Mets pretty well
   4. Astro Logical Sign Stealer Posted: March 12, 2014 at 08:09 PM (#4670648)
"John Lackey or a Muppet?" is a very good question, when you think about it
   5. PASTE does not get put on waivers in August Posted: March 12, 2014 at 08:31 PM (#4670657)
A similarly fun game is typing "[name] is" and see what comes up. Picking a few names:

Ryan Braun is a scumbag
Alex Rodriguez is a liar
Derek Jeter is overrated
David Ortiz is on steroids
Clayton Kershaw is married
Andrew McCutchen is a jerk
Juan Pierre is terrible
Ichiro is a ninja
Adam Lind is having another baby
Mike Trout is the best player in baseball

By far the most common #1 result is "X is a douche". I think it's about time to retire that word and move on to the next popular expression of disapproval.
   6. RMc's Yelling Mob of Hackmen Posted: March 12, 2014 at 08:37 PM (#4670660)
RMc is the best choice for your maternity needs
RMc is a Tobacco Free Facility
RMc is a Recreational Music Center
RMc is a private French-Monégasque radio station created in 1943
RMc is a generalized framework for managing, monitoring, and manipulating resources
RMc is uniquely qualified having developed, owned, acquired and sold properties numbering in the hundreds
RMc is an amazing networking opportunity!
RMc is an equal opportunity employer.
   7. Graham & the 15-win "ARod Vortex of suck" Posted: March 12, 2014 at 08:43 PM (#4670663)
I have to confess that I've never understood the appeal of Brisbee. It's not that I dislike him or his writing. Rather, people seem to find his writing to be very funny, and I don't think I've ever laughed at anything he's written.
   8. cardsfanboy Posted: March 12, 2014 at 08:52 PM (#4670666)
So I guess that makes more sense but ... why?!


The humor of it.
   9. Misirlou doesn't live in the restaurant Posted: March 12, 2014 at 09:26 PM (#4670675)
RMc is a wreath of pretty flowers which smell bad.
   10. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: March 12, 2014 at 10:00 PM (#4670684)
A similarly fun game is typing "[name] is" and see what comes up. Picking a few names:


David Wright is Captain America
Albert Pujols is a traitor
Joe Mauer is a wimp
Nick Swisher is a bro
Freddie Freeman is ugly
Josh Hamilton is a crackhead
Ryan Howard is a hipster
Tim Lincecum is Filipino
Eric Sogard is Mormon
Troy Tulowitzki is suffering from hockey goalie
Matt Kemp is dating Khloe Kardashian
Giancarlo Stanton is pissed
Bryce Harper is a conservative hero
Robinson Cano is lazy
Yu Darvish is my homeboy
   11. Greg K Posted: March 12, 2014 at 10:08 PM (#4670689)
I think it's a bad sign for the Blue Jays that there is no suggestion for "Ryan Goins is..."
   12. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: March 12, 2014 at 10:18 PM (#4670693)
Better than "Ryan Goins is not a serious option at second for a team that wants to contend"
   13. Esoteric Posted: March 12, 2014 at 11:14 PM (#4670707)
I have to confess that I've never understood the appeal of Brisbee. It's not that I dislike him or his writing. Rather, people seem to find his writing to be very funny, and I don't think I've ever laughed at anything he's written.
I like Brisbee a fair amount -- he's somewhat in the mold of Jeff Sullivan (my favorite online baseball writer) although not as funny, though to be fair few are.

The Washington Nationals one is pretty great, incidentally. "Bryce Harper to Yankees" is a gimme, but my favorite has to be the WTF of "Ryan Zimmerman pregnant." Also like "Adam LaRoche looks like Bert" (he does!) and "Stephen Strasburg clown question" (wrong Nats #1 draft choice!).
   14. villageidiom Posted: March 13, 2014 at 12:17 AM (#4670714)
In Red Sox Nation, some things are inconsistent but interesting:

Grady Sizemore is black
Xander Bogaerts is at home playing shortstop
Mike Napoli yu is my homeboy
Clay Buchholz is throwing a spitball
John Farrell is
Felix Doubront is fat

...While other things are fairly consistent:

Dan Shaughnessy is an idiot
Bob Ryan is an idiot
Tony Massarotti is an idiot
Gerry Callahan is an idiot
   15. Astroenteritis Posted: March 13, 2014 at 08:37 AM (#4670763)
OK, I'll admit "Chris Carter throbbing gristle" made me laugh. But I don't feel any need to investigate it in more detail.
   16. jacksone (AKA It's OK...) Posted: March 13, 2014 at 10:21 AM (#4670831)
OK, I'll admit "Chris Carter throbbing gristle" made me laugh. But I don't feel any need to investigate it in more detail.


Meh, turns out there is a musician named Chris Carter who is in a band called Throbbing Gristle. So disappointing.
   17. Rickey! No. You move. Posted: March 13, 2014 at 10:28 AM (#4670837)
This amuses me.
   18. Astroenteritis Posted: March 13, 2014 at 11:45 AM (#4670897)
Meh, turns out there is a musician named Chris Carter who is in a band called Throbbing Gristle. So disappointing.


Yeah, that's a letdown. Of course when I hear the name Chris Carter I still think X-Files. That, and lots of strikeouts.
   19. RMc's Yelling Mob of Hackmen Posted: April 14, 2014 at 11:45 PM (#4686304)
re 9: Illogical! Illogical! Please explain...!
   20. Shock Posted: April 14, 2014 at 11:55 PM (#4686309)
Most of them are "is a jerk" or "is a douche" and then...

"Brett Lawrie is apparently kind of a tool"

That is about the most flattering one yet.

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