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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Buzz Bissinger: My Gucci Addiction

In the past few years, I’ve bought eighty-one leather jackets. Dozens of boots and leather gloves. I’ve purchased pants that cost $5,000. I own a $22,000 coat. This winter I took a tour of Milan’s Fashion Week (all expenses paid by Gucci, in appreciation of my many, many purchases), where I spent tens of thousands more and began to seriously grapple, once and for all, with a compulsion that could cost me more than just my life savings. My name is Buzz Bissinger. I am 58 years old, the best-selling author of ‘Friday Night Lights,’ father of three, husband. And I am a shopaholic.

OsunaSakata Posted: March 26, 2013 at 04:30 PM | 290 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
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1. 2 dudes are better than STIGGLES; i'm both of em Posted: March 26, 2013 at 10:46 PM (#4397247)

this is satire, right?

2. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: March 26, 2013 at 10:55 PM (#4397259)

I thought he was addicted to Tony LaRussa

3. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:05 PM (#4397272)

this is satire, right?

I hope so. Because if not, it is pretty ####### disturbing.

4. Drexl Spivey Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:10 PM (#4397275)

This reminds me: Remember that April Fool's day is coming up.

I once had a college roommate who took all of my shoes except for one boot and one sandal. He stashed the rest of my shoes in his friend's room.

5. Sean Forman Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:13 PM (#4397277)

There are pics from his days in radio to show this is no joke.

6. greenback has a multilingual iphone

Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:16 PM (#4397284)

Sean Forman shows up to comment on this?

Remember when Bissinger supposed to be the vanguard of the old-time mainstream media?

7. Monty Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:18 PM (#4397285)

Honestly, I already had trouble assimilating the idea that Buzz Bissinger is "a good sportswriter," "a crazy old blog-hating sportswriter," and "the guy who wrote Friday Night Lights" all at the same time. Adding in an addiction to high-end leather clothing? Sure, why not?

8. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:18 PM (#4397287)

I feel bad for Bissinger if he does have an addiction (or clinical narcissism, for that matter) but I can't help but think of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwDmEMSlP0Y

9. Drexl Spivey Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:19 PM (#4397288)

It's a joke. This line gives it away:

If there was a precipitating event for drastic change, it took place in the late summer and fall of 2009 with the departure of two of the most precious people in my life. My wife, Lisa, left to take a job as an administrator at New York University Abu Dhabi. My youngest son went off to Kenyon.

If you believe that NYU-Abu Dhabi exists, then I will give your favorite team Yuni Betancourt.

10. . . . . . . . . . . Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:20 PM (#4397291)

NYU Abu Dhabi exists. I know someone who took classes there.

11. Monty Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:21 PM (#4397292)

If you believe that NYU-Abu Dhabi exists, then I will give your favorite team Yuni Betancourt.

They've got a website.

12. Der-K: downgraded to lurker Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:22 PM (#4397293)

congrats, 'zop - you just got yunied.
monty's #7 is where i am as well.

13. Drexl Spivey Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:25 PM (#4397298)

14. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:29 PM (#4397300)

Seriously? How did my link NOT start a Girl Talk hijack?

15. Monty Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:31 PM (#4397303)

Seriously? How did my link NOT start a Girl Talk hijack?

It wasn't clickable.

16. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:36 PM (#4397305)

I was expecting a Keyshawn hijack.

17. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:36 PM (#4397307)

Good point: it's Gucci time.

18. Ray (RDP)

Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:39 PM (#4397308)

Why would this be a joke? Some people have strange fetishes. I will never understand the obsession a disturbingly high number of men have with womens' feet, for example, and I doubt Rex Ryan could explain it to me.

Bissinger's fetish is a particularly hilarious one, but, whatever.

19. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:41 PM (#4397312)

wrong thread.

20. Drexl Spivey Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:45 PM (#4397318)

There is no overlap whatsoever between people who write football books and people who own 41 pairs of leather pants.

This is an early April Fools joke.

21. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:46 PM (#4397320)

Dr. Buzz N. Bissinger

22. Ray (RDP)

Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:55 PM (#4397328)

I don't actually care whether it's a joke. I've never heard of Friday Night Lights before this and my only exposure to Buzz Bissinger is when he was sitting in a chair looking angry, very angry, as Will Leitch was running rings around him in a discussion about media.

I have no intention to read the many pages of this article; I have no intention to ever care about Buzz Bissinger or the twisted things he's into. If he tells me he has spent $600,000 on Gucci clothing or whatever it is (I thought they just made bags), I will believe him.

23. Der-K: downgraded to lurker Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:57 PM (#4397329)

I don't find it a joke, but it is sad. Read the article - there's more going on here than the excerpt captures.
(Or not. I don't care about Bissinger either - I haven't read his supposed good stuff but have seen many of his screeds - but the GQ article is interesting.)

24. a bebop a rebop Posted: March 26, 2013 at 11:59 PM (#4397333)

I've never heard of Friday Night Lights before this

Gucci clothing or whatever it is (I thought they just made bags)

Love this guy!

25. Drexl Spivey Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:01 AM (#4397335)

I reread the article; it might not be a joke.

NYU-Abu Dhabi is a real college and not something from Garfield. Also, sending someone to Kenyon does not refer to the (initially thought to be a deliberate misspelling of) country of Kenya; it is also a legit college.

This is still messed up though:

I never fit the traditional definition of a sexy male straight or gay—tall, ripped, six- packs within six-packs. I wanted the power that sex provides, all eyes wanting to #### you and you knowing it, and both men's and women's clothing became my venue

26. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:05 AM (#4397339)

Wow, in #18 RDP comes very close to actually saying - for the first time ever? - that he can understand why someone might find a linked story to be surprising or at least interesting. But then he catches himself in #22 and has to reiterate very forcefully that for several independent reasons he does not find it to be interesting.

27. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:11 AM (#4397351)

Why is that messed up, #25? I have the most boring wardrobe ever, but I completely understand that sentiment.

28. Drexl Spivey Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:12 AM (#4397353)

I really enjoyed reading Friday Night Lights. I did not expect to find out that the author is the older ugly male version of Lady Gaga.

29. Drexl Spivey Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:16 AM (#4397362)

Why is that messed up, #25? I have the most boring wardrobe ever, but I completely understand that sentiment

Because middle aged guys shouldn't have the same mindset that pageant girls have.

30. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:21 AM (#4397365)

I'm a pageant girl? Huh. I thought I was a frumpy lawyer.

There's nothing about what Bissinger is talking about that's healthy. Healthy people don't drop half a million on clothing. But that's part of what needs to be talking about.

31. Coot Veal and Cot Deal taste like Old Bay Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:22 AM (#4397366)

I did not expect to find out that the author is the older ugly male version of Lady Gaga.

but Lady Gaga has questionable feet...

32. Drexl Spivey Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:26 AM (#4397373)

Healthy people don't drop half a million on clothing. But that's part of what needs to be talking about.

What's interesting about dropping 600K+ on clothing?

If you're that insecure about your appearance, then you are essentially a pageant queen wannabe.

33. Ray (RDP)

Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:31 AM (#4397382)

Healthy people don't drop half a million on clothing. But that's part of what needs to be talking about.

Why does this "need to be talked about"? Who cares? It's an utterly harmless obsession, save for the fact that now a lot of people are laughing at Buzz Bissinger. (Though walking around with the name "Buzz" is probably more mockworthy.)

34. . . . . . . . . . . Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:32 AM (#4397383)

If this is a joke, it is not funny. And if it is, as I suspect, even partially serious, then shame on GQ for publishing it. No amount of page hits is worth exploiting someone's mental illness.

35. Drexl Spivey Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:38 AM (#4397386)

If this is a joke, it is not funny. And if it is, as I suspect, even partially serious, then shame on GQ for publishing it. No amount of page hits is worth exploiting someone's mental illness.

The article is long as hell and pretty well written by Buzz.

It was going to be published somewhere. Why not GQ? They want to promote excessive spending on clothing.

36. Sean Forman Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:40 AM (#4397388)

Bissinger wrote it.

37. . . . . . . . . . . Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:42 AM (#4397392)

They make good money selling cigarettes, too. Bissinger needs help, not a byline.

38. Drexl Spivey Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:48 AM (#4397396)

They make good money selling cigarettes, too. Bissinger needs help, not a byline.

Since when has it been the magazine's job to provide "help" to a writer?

39. Drexl Spivey Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:51 AM (#4397398)

Bissinger wrote it.

Thanks Sean. We realize that now, but something this fantastical this close to April Fool's day will always come under scrutiny.

40. Ray (RDP)

Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:52 AM (#4397399)

It was going to be published somewhere.

Hell, he could have published it himself. Just as I am publishing this post. How does GQ not being involved stop this from being published, and why does it need to not be published?

41. The Yankee Clapper Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:54 AM (#4397400)

I RTFA. Short version: Bissinger is extremely pretentious and self-centered, thinks about his clothes constantly, wastes $$$$, not much of writer, father or husband anymore, but seems to think his mid-life crisis is important because it's about him.

It's not just athletes that blow their money.

42. Ray (RDP)

Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:57 AM (#4397402)

Thanks Sean. We realize that now, but something this fantastical this close to April Fool's day will always come under scrutiny.

Why in the world do you keep talking about "this close" to April Fools' Day? Do you understand the concept of April Fools' Day? Jokes for April Fools' Day - as lame as they are - occur on... wait for it... April Fools' Day. Which is April 1st, not March 27th.

43. Drexl Spivey Posted: March 27, 2013 at 12:58 AM (#4397403)

I agree about the pretentious self-centered part. But the guy is one hell of a writer.

44. Drexl Spivey Posted: March 27, 2013 at 01:02 AM (#4397406)

Why in the world do you keep talking about "this close" to April Fools' Day? Do you understand the concept of April Fools' Day? Jokes for April Fools' Day - as lame as they are - occur on... wait for it... April Fools' Day. Which is April 1st, not March 27th.

I have friends who like to spring early April Fools jokes on me.

45. 2 dudes are better than STIGGLES; i'm both of em Posted: March 27, 2013 at 01:09 AM (#4397407)

i am not unfamiliar with weirdness, but this is something i just cannot comprehend. i have no idea where to bite into this if it is real.

so, i'm gonna say it has to be some kind of send up of some athlete spending obscene sums of money on jewelry or cars or drugs or hookers or shrunken heads or mail order brides from uzbekistan.

46. GIANTlhbASS Posted: March 27, 2013 at 01:21 AM (#4397410)

Next up: Shaughnessy wears short-shorts.

47. Ray (RDP)

Posted: March 27, 2013 at 01:27 AM (#4397411)

Do your friends make the publishing decisions for GQ? :-) Because maybe I'm wrong but I've never heard of April Fools' jokes starting early.

48. Drexl Spivey Posted: March 27, 2013 at 01:28 AM (#4397412)

Why in the world do you keep talking about "this close" to April Fools' Day?

This week, I cannot even open a car door without worrying about honey being under the handle.

My friends are dicks, they wouldn't do this on the obvious day.

49. Drexl Spivey Posted: March 27, 2013 at 01:32 AM (#4397414)

Do your friends make the publishing decisions for GQ? :-) Because maybe I'm wrong but I've never heard of April Fools' jokes starting early

As a general rule of thumb, never establish a reputation as being "the gullible guy."

You will get screwed over.

50. Monty Posted: March 27, 2013 at 01:44 AM (#4397416)

This week, I cannot even open a car door without worrying about honey being under the handle.

My friends are dicks, they wouldn't do this on the obvious day.

Those aren't April Fools Pranks. They're just pranks. If you don't do it under the cover of April 1, you're just being a jackass.

51. base ball chick Posted: March 27, 2013 at 02:11 AM (#4397419)

why would anyone think it is a joke?

it's his writing style, and it is his personality. to a Tee. only thing surprises me is that he didn't develop a fetish until he was 55

52. Barnaby Jones Posted: March 27, 2013 at 02:22 AM (#4397421)

I will never understand the obsession a disturbingly high number of men have with womens' feet, for example, and I doubt Rex Ryan could explain it to me.

Your brain thinks your feet are right next to your junk according to this picture on the internet.

53. Barnaby Jones Posted: March 27, 2013 at 02:31 AM (#4397422)

Because maybe I'm wrong but I've never heard of April Fools' jokes starting early.

The Sidd Finch article was released in late March, though it was dated April 1. Likewise, this article is dated "April 2013."

54. Drexl Spivey Posted: March 27, 2013 at 03:22 AM (#4397423)

Because maybe I'm wrong but I've never heard of April Fools' jokes starting early.

n
It might be from living in northern Wisconsin, but everything associated with the end of winter will be celebrated.

55. rr

Posted: March 27, 2013 at 06:02 AM (#4397426)

But GQ articles editor Devin Gordon put all that noise to rest:

Blanket tweet, since this is coming up a lot: No, this story is not an early April Fools joke. gq.com/news-politics/…

— Devin Gordon (@Devingo913) March 26, 2013

I am still not convinced that it's not a joke.

56. Sean Forman Posted: March 27, 2013 at 06:56 AM (#4397431)

http://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2012/11/07/buzzs-outfits/#photo-1

The linked photos above are from his radio show days last fall. Should remove all doubt.

57. Greg K Posted: March 27, 2013 at 07:07 AM (#4397432)

The linked photos above are from his radio show days last fall. Should remove all doubt.

Wow, I figured expensive clothes would make you look good.

58. villageidiom Posted: March 27, 2013 at 07:15 AM (#4397433)

I RTFA. Short version: Bissinger is extremely pretentious and self-centered, thinks about his clothes constantly, wastes $$$$, not much of writer, father or husband anymore, but seems to think his mid-life crisis is important because it's about him.

So's your Mom!

59. Non-Youkilidian Geometry Posted: March 27, 2013 at 07:24 AM (#4397434)

Yikes. This is one time when in retrospect I wish the photos had actually been of Albright.

60. Jose is El Absurd Bronson Y Pollo Posted: March 27, 2013 at 07:44 AM (#4397436)

When I was looking to buy my house I looked at a place where the master bedroom had two big closets. One was pretty standard stuff and the other had about 15 pairs of leather pants and maybe another 10-15 leather jackets of varying length and style.

61. Shooty is obsessed with the latest hoodie

Posted: March 27, 2013 at 07:45 AM (#4397437)

I linked to this, as well, but my tag was "gold gloves" so in my mind, I'm the winner. Anyway, now we know why TLR took to the bottle...

62. ERROR---Jolly Old St. Nick

Posted: March 27, 2013 at 07:46 AM (#4397438)

I couldn't possibly wade through an article like this on a subject so completely uninteresting, but Jesus, if Bissinger's got the money and doesn't wind up in debtor's prison, it's totally his business what he buys, and I say that as someone who never wears anything but jeans except at weddings and funerals.

I own about 8,000 books and some people think that's crazy. I knew a woman (a lawyer turned psychoanalyst) who literally had an entire closet filled with nothing but shoes---not clothes, shoes. I know actual adults who still collect baseball cards and / or comic books, and spend inordinate amounts of time playing video games, not to mention the millions of people with a fetish for sports cars, strip clubs, dogs, cats, craft beer, and / or wine that costs over $100 a bottle. Is there anything wrong with them, too? What would our economy look like without people like that to keep the money moving?

And male fashion fetishists are hardly a new phenomenon, or restricted to narrow classes of people. In fact the first time I read anything like this was in the old leftist magazine Ramparts, when a writer named Gene Marine wrote an article called "My New Clothes". He covered the Black Panthers and then started dressing in the neon-colored solids that were the hallmark of black street fashion in the late 1960's. Bottom line is that we're all a little weird in our many different ways, even sportswriters. (smile)

63. Shooty is obsessed with the latest hoodie

Posted: March 27, 2013 at 07:59 AM (#4397441)

And male fashion fetishists are hardly a new phenomenon, or restricted to narrow classes of people. In fact the first time I read anything like this was in the old leftist magazine Ramparts, when a writer named Gene Marine wrote an article called "My New Clothes". He covered the Black Panthers and then started dressing in the neon-colored solids that were the hallmark of black street fashion in the late 1960's. Bottom line is that we're all a little weird in our many different ways, even sportswriters. (smile)

1. You're kind of being a killjoy here. Bissinger is an asshole and any opportunity to mock him should be seized. If George Saunders has confessed to a Gucci addiction, I'd probably seriously consider that I was missing out and I should also start buying Gucci. I want to look hip and dangerous, too!
2. The clothes thing is just funny and ridiculous, but the sex club humblebrag in the essay is gross.

64. Covfefe Posted: March 27, 2013 at 08:37 AM (#4397446)

April fools joke or not --

I just learned that Buzz Bissinger isn't a character from the Tank McNamara comic strip.... so that's something...

65. Harveys Wallbangers

Posted: March 27, 2013 at 08:38 AM (#4397447)

i don't know of any elaborate joke that includes discussion of a s8xless marriage and being told by your spouse to go have physical relations with strangers.

toss in the imagery of the article and I will just say that if this is the new trend in pranks count me out

66. Yeaarrgghhhh Posted: March 27, 2013 at 08:53 AM (#4397451)

The linked photos above are from his radio show days last fall. Should remove all doubt.

Holy cow. (no pun intended)

67. Steve Parris, Je t'aime Posted: March 27, 2013 at 08:59 AM (#4397455)

This is not at all surprising. Bissinger's been well known as an egomaniac in Philadelphia for a long while. Great writer, though - FNL is a much richer book than the movie or show, and he won a Pulitzer for "A Prayer for the City," which covered Ed Rendell's mayoral administration and has long been on my list.

68. ERROR---Jolly Old St. Nick

Posted: March 27, 2013 at 09:04 AM (#4397458)

1. You're kind of being a killjoy here. Bissinger is an ####### and any opportunity to mock him should be seized. If George Saunders has confessed to a Gucci addiction, I'd probably seriously consider that I was missing out and I should also start buying Gucci. I want to look hip and dangerous, too!
2. The clothes thing is just funny and ridiculous, but the sex club humblebrag in the essay is gross.

This probably just reinforces my own weirdness, but I barely even know who Buzz Bissinger is or who he writes for or anything else he's written, and as I said, I didn't read the entire article.

69. Shooty is obsessed with the latest hoodie

Posted: March 27, 2013 at 09:10 AM (#4397462)

This probably just reinforces my own weirdness, but I barely even know who Buzz Bissinger is or who he writes for or anything else he's written, and as I said, I didn't read the entire article.

You didn't follow the Buzz wars we had here a few years ago? It's the only reason this article was linked as there is nothing baseball related in the article. It turns out the reason Buzz wanted us all to get out of the basement is because he wanted to stock it with assless leather chaps and his collection of Chinese sex slaves.

I wonder what his kids think reading this article. Well, I'm going to inherit a fortune in tacky Gucci clothes that may be valuable if we can scrape off all the crusted ejaculate!

70. Rants Mulliniks Posted: March 27, 2013 at 09:12 AM (#4397465)

I foolishly clicked on the link. Why anyone would waste their time reading, let alone writing that long winded load of bullshit is beyond me.

71. Eric Ferguson Posted: March 27, 2013 at 09:16 AM (#4397469)

In fairness to Drexl, having RTFA, I can understand how the bloated writing style and self-obsession could be construed as too outsized to be legitimate.

72. simpleton & childlike gef the talking mongoose Posted: March 27, 2013 at 09:26 AM (#4397472)

I don't actually care whether it's a joke. I've never heard of Friday Night Lights before this and my only exposure to Buzz Bissinger is when he was sitting in a chair looking angry, very angry, as Will Leitch was running rings around him in a discussion about media.

I have no intention to read the many pages of this article; I have no intention to ever care about Buzz Bissinger or the twisted things he's into. If he tells me he has spent $600,000 on Gucci clothing or whatever it is (I thought they just made bags), I will believe him.

Good ol' RDP. I haven't had cable since early 2005, go out to the movies maybe once a year, have never seen (& have no interest in ever seeing) such BTF cinematic touchstones as Animal House, Caddyshack, Princess Bride , Ferris Bueller's Day Off et al., don't read a newspaper, don't read non-subcultural magazines other than SI, haven't even had radio in my car in 6 months & think "celebrity culture" in general is an argument for resurrecting & importing the Red Army Faction & tweaking its mission statement ... & yet Ray makes me feel like I immerse myself in the pop culture seas 24/7.

73. simpleton & childlike gef the talking mongoose Posted: March 27, 2013 at 09:27 AM (#4397473)

Also, this thread is useless without commentary by our resident fashion plates, like (IIRC) McCoy.

74. The District Attorney Posted: March 27, 2013 at 09:46 AM (#4397489)

Also, this thread is useless without commentary by our resident fashion plates, like (IIRC) Smitty.

fixed

75. ERROR---Jolly Old St. Nick

Posted: March 27, 2013 at 09:49 AM (#4397490)

This probably just reinforces my own weirdness, but I barely even know who Buzz Bissinger is or who he writes for or anything else he's written, and as I said, I didn't read the entire article.

You didn't follow the Buzz wars we had here a few years ago?

If I did, it's long slipped down my memory hole, and anyway if you've read one stupid sportswriter you've read them all. "Buzz Bissinger" is one of those thousands of names that sort of float around in the space occupied by "Justin Lieber", "Justin Timberlake", and "Britney Spears", meaning that I've heard them mentioned often enough to figure out that they're probably all real people in a technical sense, but beyond that they just all kind of blend together in one big blob of interchangeable nothingness. About the only affect all those Justins have ever had on my subconscious is that for about a year or so after he first came up, I thought that Justin was the first name of the Red Sox second baseman. Of course now I know that his first name is really Petunia.

It's the only reason this article was linked as there is nothing baseball related in the article. It turns out the reason Buzz wanted us all to get out of the basement is because he wanted to stock it with assless leather chaps and his collection of Chinese sex slaves.

And he wants to be our Latex salesman!

I wonder what his kids think reading this article. Well, I'm going to inherit a fortune in tacky Gucci clothes that may be valuable if we can scrape off all the crusted ejaculate!

TMI, son, TMI.

76. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: March 27, 2013 at 09:50 AM (#4397492)

I was expecting a Keyshawn hijack.

I just noticed my iPad autocorrect changed "Kreayshawn" to "Keyshawn". No wonder I couldn't start a successful hijack, Keyshawn isn't even a member of the White Girl Mafia.

77. Der-K: downgraded to lurker Posted: March 27, 2013 at 09:55 AM (#4397497)

I'm surprised that any long-time posters wouldn't know who Bissinger is - he's been a or the subject of a great many threads here over the years.

I don't think the clothing part is that interesting - it's the weird mix of self-awareness, cluelessness, narcissism, and desperation ... a mid-life crisis writ large. (Believe me, I also see the appeal in Shooty's call to mock a very public jerk.)

I just learned that Buzz Bissinger isn't a character from the Tank McNamara comic strip.... so that's something...

zonk, have you not been reading Tank McNamara: Crisis of Insolent Pervs?

78. Non-Youkilidian Geometry Posted: March 27, 2013 at 09:56 AM (#4397498)

1. You're kind of being a killjoy here. Bissinger is an ####### and any opportunity to mock him should be seized. If George Saunders has confessed to a Gucci addiction, I'd probably seriously consider that I was missing out and I should also start buying Gucci. I want to look hip and dangerous, too!

As usual, Shooty gets right to the heart of the matter. The difficulty is that Bissinger has pulled a clever jujitsu move and set up so many targets for mockery that I am paralyzed by indecision about where to begin. I've narrowed it down to either his terrible aesthetic taste or his need to sing his own praises of his own sexual prowess.

I wonder what his kids think reading this article. Well, I'm going to inherit a fortune in tacky Gucci clothes that may be valuable if we can scrape off all the crusted ejaculate!

Damn! Shooty's managed to nail both targets at once! I can't top this.

79. simpleton & childlike gef the talking mongoose Posted: March 27, 2013 at 10:09 AM (#4397507)

fixed

I think even Smitty* would recommend pants for Bizzinger, & probably a one-size-covers-all tent.

80. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: March 27, 2013 at 10:24 AM (#4397517)

Anyone have any insight on the clinical definition of 'addiction'?

At first glance this (if true) would appear to me to be a compulsion, not an addiction. There is no chemical dependency like with nicotine, cocaine, heroin, alcohol, etc. He's not going to get the DTs if he stops, and I doubt he's buying leather goods every single day like a true addict.

He seems to have a psychological compulsion. More like OCD than an addiction. I'd say the same thing for 'sex addiction', in the cases where that's not just a cover for a powerful, rich dude caught with his pants down.

But, I'd like to hear from anyone with actual medical knowledge.

81. McCoy Posted: March 27, 2013 at 10:30 AM (#4397523)

There are only two times a man should wear leather in public (what you do in private is your own business). He can wear leather if it is for a movie with a budget of at least 40 million dollars and he can wear leather if he wears it while driving a motorcycle but he better be near that damn bike at all times otherwise he looks like a doofus. Also it can only be black (and not shiny black) or brown (basic black or brown).

82. simpleton & childlike gef the talking mongoose Posted: March 27, 2013 at 10:34 AM (#4397528)

I doubt he's buying leather goods every single day like a true addict.

And you would know, wouldn't you?

(Kidding, obviously!)

83. Shooty is obsessed with the latest hoodie

Posted: March 27, 2013 at 10:36 AM (#4397531)

I can't wait for the rumble when Buzz goes after this guy's best girl.

It's going to be hip, brash, rock and roll and badboy-ish!

84. McCoy Posted: March 27, 2013 at 10:39 AM (#4397532)

Oh and there is never a situation in which a man should be wearing high heel boots in public.

85. The Good Face Posted: March 27, 2013 at 10:43 AM (#4397536)

Oh and there is never a situation in which a man should be wearing high heel boots in public.

What if you're the king of France?

86. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: March 27, 2013 at 10:46 AM (#4397542)

87. Swoboda is freedom Posted: March 27, 2013 at 10:56 AM (#4397547)

Though walking around with the name "Buzz" is probably more mockworthy.

Don't let Buzz Aldrin hear you say that. He will punch you out.

88. Greg K Posted: March 27, 2013 at 10:56 AM (#4397548)

What if you're the king of France?

Some of the discussion in this thread is a bit reminiscent of my research at the moment. Where the Duke of Buckingham's frilly clothes (French, Spanish and Italian styles) "make the handsomest man look like another thing". Though velvet more than leather is what they were most worried about back then.

89. McCoy Posted: March 27, 2013 at 11:03 AM (#4397552)

What about a leather car coat or bomber jacket? Those are pretty middle of the road.

A grown man shouldn't be wearing a bomber jacket, leather or otherwise unless of course you somehow find yourself flying the Memphis Belle and it is 1944. Car coats are perfectly acceptable just don't wear a leather one. Leather is for bikers, celebrities, and kids.

90. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: March 27, 2013 at 11:08 AM (#4397556)

#80, no medical knowledge here, but my understanding is that it gets labeled as an addiction in large part because the neurological mechanism in gambling/shopping addiction is more similar to other types of (chemical) addictions than in most compulsions. The act of buying something/dropping another quarter in the slot sets off the same neurochemical reactions as you'd see in other addictions, rather than being involved in an anxiety merry-go-round that is very immediate and hard for the person to break away from like in OCD.

#74: Being sans pants is VERY fashion forward.

eta: still disappointed that the Girl Talk hijack failed.

91. JJ1986 Posted: March 27, 2013 at 11:10 AM (#4397561)

I have a really nice leather jacket, but I always feel silly when I try it on and end up going with something else. I would feel more comfortable wearing it with sunglasses and a European accent.

92. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: March 27, 2013 at 11:11 AM (#4397562)

It depends on your local milieu, McCoy. The first time I went to New Mexico I kept literally bursting out laughing because people were actually wearing cowboy hats and cowboy boots while walking around the mall. Not one person in a million does that in Pennsylvania. People would assume they were getting paid minimum wage to hand out flyers for a steakhouse or something.

There must be places where wearing leather all the time is not noteworthy. Bissinger's mistake, among many other mistakes, seems to be staying in the suburbs of Philadelphia while undergoing his metamorphosis into a high-maintenance fashionista.

93. Non-Youkilidian Geometry Posted: March 27, 2013 at 11:13 AM (#4397565)

Leather is for bikers, celebrities, and kids.

Well, Buzz is a celebrity of sorts, so there you go!

Regarding your distaste for leather jackets: well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

94. McCoy Posted: March 27, 2013 at 11:17 AM (#4397572)

There must be places where wearing leather all the time is not noteworthy.

I have a really nice leather jacket, but I always feel silly when I try it on and end up going with something else. I would feel more comfortable wearing it with sunglasses and a European accent.

Milan during fashion week or Sturgis during the first week of August.

The issue isn't about whether it is noteworthy or not but whether or not a man looks ridiculous. Grown men wearing leather look ridiculous.

95. Eric Ferguson Posted: March 27, 2013 at 11:19 AM (#4397573)

"Buzz Bissinger" is one of those thousands of names that sort of float around in the space occupied by "Justin Lieber"

Now you're just being ridiculous.

96. McCoy Posted: March 27, 2013 at 11:20 AM (#4397576)

Well, Buzz is a celebrity of sorts, so there you go!

Celebrities that try to project youth and while they are "performing". Meaning when they are on stage or on the red carpet or whenever they are "working". Some 45 year old celebrity (like say Vince Vaughn) simply sitting at a Starbucks dressed up like how Buzz is in those linked photos would look just as ridiculous as Buzz did.

Regarding your distaste for leather jackets: well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

Sure but it is a rather common one held in the fashion field.

97. Yeaarrgghhhh Posted: March 27, 2013 at 11:23 AM (#4397579)

I mostly agree with McCoy, but a simply black leather car coat or motocross jacket is usually ok. Depends on the person and situation.

98. spike Posted: March 27, 2013 at 11:26 AM (#4397580)

I wouldn't call it an addiction per se, and I do ride a motorcycle so I guess I am covered - I have a few pieces from Aero Leather in Scotland that are just awesome and very pricey. But it's classic stuff - that Gucci business would have worked out better for Buzz if he'd spent some of the dough on a Bowflex or something.

99. Yeaarrgghhhh Posted: March 27, 2013 at 11:42 AM (#4397592)

A grown man definitely shouldn't wear something like this unless he's a reenactor:
http://www.aeroleatherclothing.com/product-detail.php?id=1391

100. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: March 27, 2013 at 11:46 AM (#4397593)

Flip!

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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Buzz Bissinger: My Gucci Addiction

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