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Thursday, July 10, 2014

Calcaterra: The first Derek Jeter Publishing title is available for pre-order

Last fall we learned that Derek Jeter was starting his own publishing business in a partnership with Simon & Schuster. The first book is coming out in September. You can pre-order it now. It’s called “The Contract” and it’s for middle school readers. This is the description:

As a young boy, Derek Jeter dreams of begin [sic] the shortstop for the New York Yankees. He even imagines himself in the World Series. So when Derek is chosen for the Little League Tigers, he hopes to play shortstop. But on the day of the assignments, Derek Starts [sic] at second base. Still, he tries his best while he wishes and dreams of that shortstop spot. And to help him stay focused on school, his parents make him a contract: keep up the grades or no baseball. Derek makes sure he always plays his best game—on and off the baseball field!

Good! Kids need to learn that it’s okay to try things and fail, and that it’s natural to have limitations. You can’t necessarily expect to achieve your wildest, most unrealistic dr…

Wait, he ends up playing where?

The District Attorney Posted: July 10, 2014 at 09:00 PM | 35 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: books, business, derek jeter, yankees

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   1. charityslave is thinking about baseball Posted: July 10, 2014 at 09:23 PM (#4748442)
Derek Starts [sic] at second base


Genre: fantasy.
   2. Canker Soriano Posted: July 10, 2014 at 09:27 PM (#4748446)
Call me a prude, but it seems a little tacky to buy your own publishing business for the purpose of turning out a book about how awesome you were as a child.

I can't wait for the erotic imprint and 50 Shades of Giftbaskets.
   3. Howie Menckel Posted: July 10, 2014 at 09:30 PM (#4748449)
I assume they are planning a sequel where he takes over at SS.

would be quite an empire to 'write' books for middle schoolers, then upping the content ante for 10 years until he is 'writing' thinly-veiled Penthouse Forum type letters based on actual events....
   4. PreservedFish Posted: July 10, 2014 at 10:15 PM (#4748473)
I find it a little funny that a 40 year old bachelor would choose to spend his new career publishing edifying children's literature.
   5. bobm Posted: July 10, 2014 at 11:01 PM (#4748494)
Page Six: Jeter "Banana Hammocks"

Move over, Victoria, Derek Jeter has an even bigger “secret.”

The Yankee slugger’s retirement plan includes becoming an underwear mogul, Page Six has learned.

The slugger is a secret owner of Frigo RevolutionWear — a customized men’s underwear brand that sells skivvies more colloquially known as “Tempur-Pedic banana hammocks.” The high-tech undies sell for $100 a pair and include a “soft lock adjustment system” plus a “patented pouch” dubbed the “Frigo Zone.”
   6. The John Wetland Memorial Death (CoB) Posted: July 10, 2014 at 11:06 PM (#4748495)
Derek Jeter was starting his own publishing business in a partnership with Simon & Schuster. The first book is coming out in September.


My Little Gift Basket?
   7. A big pile of nonsense (gef the talking mongoose) Posted: July 10, 2014 at 11:11 PM (#4748499)
How many thousands of copies are Captain Supporter & his slavering ilk planning to buy?
   8. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: July 10, 2014 at 11:17 PM (#4748502)
The slugger is a secret owner of Frigo RevolutionWear — a customized men’s underwear brand that sells skivvies more colloquially known as “Tempur-Pedic banana hammocks.” The high-tech undies sell for $100 a pair

??? I get 6 for $5.95

from TFA in bobm's post:
Ingvarsson has previously explained of the undergarments: “It separates your genitals from the rest of your body .?.?. It lifts a little bit so [guys] feel the comfort.”
The products’ marketing materials further explain: “Unlike other garments that keep things in place by compressing your package inward, Frigo provides support from behind so you won’t feel constricted.”

obviously it doesn't help going to your left
   9. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: July 10, 2014 at 11:37 PM (#4748518)
would be quite an empire to 'write' books for middle schoolers, then upping the content ante for 10 years until he is 'writing' thinly-veiled Penthouse Forum type letters based on actual events....

Oh, like Roald Dahl.

   10. Adward Posted: July 10, 2014 at 11:46 PM (#4748526)
If anyone remembers John Lithgow's tearful scene from Kinsey describing his childhood undergarments I'd like to see if the description(in #8) differs by much.
   11. Walt Davis Posted: July 11, 2014 at 12:05 AM (#4748534)
As a young boy, Derek Jeter dreams of begin [sic] the shortstop for the New York Yankees. He even imagines himself in the World Series. So when Derek is chosen for the Little League Tigers, he hopes to play shortstop. But on the day of the assignments, Derek Starts [sic] at second base. Still, he tries his best while he wishes and dreams of that shortstop spot. And to help him stay focused on school, his parents make him a contract: keep up the grades or no baseball. Derek makes sure he always plays his best game—on and off the baseball field!

He also got his first taste of celebrity when his grade school paper ran pics of him out on the town with Soleil Moon Frye.
   12. Dan Lee is some pumkins Posted: July 11, 2014 at 08:50 AM (#4748588)
I had no idea that a blockquote within a blockquote was a thing.
   13. Captain Supporter Posted: July 11, 2014 at 09:33 AM (#4748603)
So lets get this straight. A baseball player retire at 40, and instead of lounging around or doing paid autograph signings he decides to start a business, provide people with meaningful jobs, and test himself in a new and very different endeavor than baseball.

So, of course, the geniuses here weigh in one after another with nothing but negative comments and snark.

You almost can't make this stuff up.
   14. bobm Posted: July 11, 2014 at 09:39 AM (#4748610)
"Captain Supporter" would be a good name for Jeter's newest product described in post [5] :) /kidding
   15. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: July 11, 2014 at 09:39 AM (#4748611)
Captain Supporter is both correct, and an excellent name for Jeter's line of underwear.
   16. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: July 11, 2014 at 09:52 AM (#4748615)
I don't think Derek Jeter is "providing people with meaningful jobs" by creating a personally branded publishing imprint. It's just part of what Simon and Schuster would be doing anyway.
   17. villageidiom Posted: July 11, 2014 at 10:01 AM (#4748617)
So, of course, the geniuses here weigh in one after another with nothing but negative comments and snark.
I don't recall you rushing to the defense of Curt Schilling on this site when he did something similar.

So basically your post isn't about Derek Jeter or us, it's about your feelings. So would you rather that your feelings are the topic discussed?
   18. BDC Posted: July 11, 2014 at 10:07 AM (#4748619)
"Frigo Zone?" Sounds designed to freeze your ###s off.
   19. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: July 11, 2014 at 10:09 AM (#4748620)
I don't recall you rushing to the defense of Curt Schilling on this site when he did something similar.


Jeter is mooching off the taxpayer while waving a dog-earned copy of "Atlas Shrugged"?
   20. Joey B. has reignited his October #Natitude Posted: July 11, 2014 at 10:14 AM (#4748626)
I find it a little funny that a 40 year old bachelor would choose to spend his new career publishing edifying children's literature.

Dude, he probably gets more p*ssy in his typical week than you've gotten in your whole lifetime. I'm pretty sure that he's a childless bachelor completely by choice.
   21. Yeaarrgghhhh Posted: July 11, 2014 at 10:16 AM (#4748629)
The Very Sexy Shortstop
Mr. Jeter and the Secret of DRS
   22. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: July 11, 2014 at 10:19 AM (#4748631)
Dude, he probably gets more p*ssy in his typical week than you've gotten in your whole lifetime. I'm pretty sure that he's a childless bachelor completely by choice.

Sure, and that a little sad.
   23. Joey B. has reignited his October #Natitude Posted: July 11, 2014 at 10:22 AM (#4748633)
Sure, and that a little sad.

He actually seems pretty damn happy to me, but I can't read his mind, so who knows. In any event, to each his own.
   24. Yeaarrgghhhh Posted: July 11, 2014 at 10:28 AM (#4748635)
Dude, he probably gets more p*ssy in his typical week than you've gotten in your whole lifetime.

It's sad that a supposed adult would actually type this phrase.
   25. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: July 11, 2014 at 10:35 AM (#4748639)
He actually seems pretty damn happy to me, but I can't read his mind, so who knows. In any event, to each his own.

He may be happy, but he also may be happy because he is shallow and immature. Or maybe he's just lousy in the sack, and that's why he needs to get a different chick every week.

It's sad that a supposed adult would actually type this phrase.

Yes. Sad that someone would view that as a way to judge a person's success/worth.
   26. Joey B. has reignited his October #Natitude Posted: July 11, 2014 at 10:41 AM (#4748644)
It's sad that a board full of far left-wingers is suddenly taking the "unmarried childless guys are sad losers" pose simply because Derek Jeter is the subject. THAT'S immature and childish, and nobody is fooling anyone here.
   27. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: July 11, 2014 at 10:45 AM (#4748649)
It's sad that a board full of far left-wingers is suddenly taking the "unmarried childless guys are sad losers" pose simply because Derek Jeter is the subject. THAT'S immature and childish, and nobody is fooling anyone here.

I'm the farthest thing from a left winger, chief. I'm also childless, so I'm not likely to be throwing that stone. And one can be unmarried for all sorts of reasons, many of them very good ones.

But, yes, I will state that guys who rather use their celebrity status to pick up different women in bars every week, rather than have a real adult relationship with a woman, are sad losers.

   28. villageidiom Posted: July 11, 2014 at 11:20 AM (#4748681)
It's sad that a board full of far left-wingers is suddenly taking the "unmarried childless guys are sad losers" pose simply because Derek Jeter is the subject.
PARAPHRASED: I've established a starting premise and people are not behaving in line with it. Is it that my starting premise is wrong, or do I need to manufacture another premise to explain the difference? Definitely the latter.
   29. PreservedFish Posted: July 11, 2014 at 11:50 AM (#4748707)
I find it a little funny that a 40 year old bachelor would choose to spend his new career publishing edifying children's literature.

Dude, he probably gets more p*ssy in his typical week than you've gotten in your whole lifetime. I'm pretty sure that he's a childless bachelor completely by choice.


I don't understand what this comment is a response to or what you think I was saying.
   30. zenbitz Posted: July 11, 2014 at 12:03 PM (#4748711)
Everyones gotta have a hobby...
   31. A big pile of nonsense (gef the talking mongoose) Posted: July 11, 2014 at 12:45 PM (#4748745)
I don't understand what this comment is a response to or what you think I was saying.


Type louder. The churlish voices in Joey's head drown out just about everything.
   32. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: July 11, 2014 at 01:09 PM (#4748771)
I will just say good for Jeter with regards to the publishing thing.

And I don't care whether or not he has children, but at 40 he still has plenty of time to do so. (Maybe he just didn't want to settle down and have kids until he stopped working in a job that required him to be on the road so often. Who knows?)
   33. BDC Posted: July 11, 2014 at 01:27 PM (#4748798)
guys who rather use their celebrity status to pick up different women in bars every week, rather than have a real adult relationship with a woman, are sad losers

Wait, I thought Jeter had assistants pick up women for him :)

I'll just say that someone who isn't ready to marry, and therefore doesn't get married, seems to me pretty smart and mature.
   34. The Yankee Clapper Posted: July 11, 2014 at 01:56 PM (#4748853)
I wonder if Jeter will continue the publishing venture after he becomes Commissioner?
   35. Canker Soriano Posted: July 11, 2014 at 02:13 PM (#4748865)
I wonder if Jeter will continue the publishing venture after he becomes Commissioner?

As a young boy, Bug [sic] Selig dreams of being the Commissioner of major league baseball. He even imagines himself ruining the All-Star Game. So when Bud becomes a businessman, he hopes he's on his way. But he ends up owning the Milwakee [sic] Brewers. Still, he tries his best while he wishes and dreams of that commissioner spot. And to help him stay focused, his friends Jerry Reinsdorf and George Steinbrenner make him a deal: crush the union or no commissioner. Bud makes sure he always helps his friends—on and off the baseball field!

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