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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Carlos Guillen battling painful case of hemorrhoids

Foam Finger Sclerotherapy Day at the ballpark.

There’s a reason Carlos Guillen had a rough game—including two errors—Monday night at third base. “He can hardly move—he’s got hemorrhoids so bad,” Tigers manager Jim Leyland said Tuesday. “He’s been playing with hemorrhoids that probably need to be lanced. He probably shouldn’t have been out there (third base on Monday).”

Leyland said the hemorrhoids have been bothering Guillen for about four or five days, but they have gotten worse in the last few days. “He could hardly walk (Monday night),” Leyland said.

Repoz Posted: May 28, 2008 at 03:02 PM | 19 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
Tags: tigers

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1. Paul The Paranoid Android Posted: May 28, 2008 at 04:48 PM (#2796826)

I wonder how Guillen feels about Leyland announcing to the world that Guillen's got "hemorrhoids so bad".

2. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: May 28, 2008 at 04:51 PM (#2796828)

If George Brett set the precedent, Carlos Guillen should flirt with .400 this year.

3. Tim Stauffer, Trot Nixon's Coming (Dan Lee) Posted: May 28, 2008 at 04:52 PM (#2796831)

I wonder how Guillen feels about Leyland announcing to the world that Guillen's got "hemorrhoids so bad".

It probably gave him rrhoid rage.

4. Shiny Beast Posted: May 28, 2008 at 04:53 PM (#2796832)

I don't think the "painful" modifier was really necessary.

I've never had a case that required more than the topical application of a popular over-the-counter product, but in a serious case is lancing really a treatent option? Gee fffing whiz.

5. Avoid running at all times.-S. Paige Posted: May 28, 2008 at 04:55 PM (#2796835)

I wonder how Guillen feels about Leyland announcing to the world that Guillen's got "hemorrhoids so bad".

Not as awkward as Kaz Matsui felt when the Astros announced he had an anal fissure at the beginning of this season. What? There aren't good cover-up injuries for these sorts of things. Did the Yanks ever tell the press that Mantle was unable to play because he was still shitfaced from the night before?

6. Robinson Cano Plate Like Home Posted: May 28, 2008 at 04:55 PM (#2796837)

Guillen: "Leyland's been having trouble sending signs in from the bench because his prostate is the size of a medicine ball."

7. Cooperstown Schtick Posted: May 28, 2008 at 05:04 PM (#2796848)

Leyland said the hemorrhoids have been bothering Guillen for about four or five days, but they have gotten worse in the last few days. “He could hardly walk..."

Evidence shows Corey Patterson has the same affliction.

8. Charter Member of the Jesus Melendez Fanclub Posted: May 28, 2008 at 05:21 PM (#2796865)

Did the Yanks ever tell the press that Mantle was unable to play because he was still shitfaced from the night before?

Flu-like symptoms live on.

9. xbhaskarx Posted: May 28, 2008 at 05:28 PM (#2796873)

Not as awkward as Kaz Matsui felt when the Astros announced he had an anal fissure at the beginning of this season. What? There aren't good cover-up injuries for these sorts of things.

also felix pie (twisted testicles)

10. Don't want the truth; just wanna see some dingers Posted: May 28, 2008 at 05:39 PM (#2796880)

This is what is known as TMI.

11. Hang down your head, Tom Foley Posted: May 28, 2008 at 05:41 PM (#2796884)

Guillen battling painful case of hemorrhoids; Fearless Dolsi impressing Leyland

I thought those were related and that "Dolsi" was a particularly tough strain of hemorrhoid. If Jim Leyland is impressed by your hemorrhoids, you haven't lived right.

12. Joe Bivens, Idiot Posted: May 28, 2008 at 05:44 PM (#2796889)

Hats off to the poster who adopts "Carlos Guillen's Lanced Hemorrhoids" as their screen name.

13. Rich Posted: May 28, 2008 at 05:57 PM (#2796912)

*quickly closes tab*

14. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: May 28, 2008 at 06:07 PM (#2796932)

He's killing the team in the #2 spot.

15. Swoboda is freedom Posted: May 28, 2008 at 06:23 PM (#2796953)

Jeez Carlos, drink some water. Have some fruit occasionally. Maybe a salad.

16. chemdoc Posted: May 28, 2008 at 06:32 PM (#2796960)

I wonder how Guillen feels about Leyland announcing to the world that Guillen's got "hemorrhoids so bad".

From mlb.com:

Guillen downplayed the malady when asked about it later. He said he saw a doctor a few days ago, and they decided to treat it with medication for the time being.

"In this game, you give 100 percent, but you don't feel 100 percent every day," Guillen said.

Of all the ailments Guillen has had -- he has had surgery on his knee and shoulder in his career and missed the start of the 2001 season with pulmonary tuberculosis -- this was a new one for him.

"Not fun," he summarized.

And now he's twitching from the itching and squirming from the burning.

17. Fargo Posted: May 28, 2008 at 10:53 PM (#2797256)

Some of you guys are piling on.

18. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: May 28, 2008 at 11:52 PM (#2797316)

Man, I guess Sheffield really IS a pain in the ass.

19. H_Vaughn08 Posted: May 29, 2008 at 12:05 AM (#2797330)

First he took a donut vs. the Angels. Now he's sitting on one.

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Carlos Guillen battling painful case of hemorrhoids

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