This is the next shoe.

Uh oh

Beware the Ides of March.

Rather than buy shoes that look like my feet, I'm going to super-glue my toes together and lacquer them, so that my feet resemble my shoes. Cheaper that way.

But what does this have to do with Rick Schu?

Or this guy?

This is the next shoe.

I have an irrational hatred of the Vibram Five-Finger thingies. I don't know why. Which, presumably, is why it's irrational.

I have an irrational hatred of the Vibram Five-Finger thingies. I don't know why. Which, presumably, is why it's irrational.

I had a trainer at the gym who swore by them. He talked probably a dozen clients into buying them, but I just couldn't get past how stupid they look.

He was in much better shape than I am, but unlike Jordan, I don't think it was the shoes.

Those shoes remind me of the human foot, which is disgusting.

Those shoes remind me of the human foot, which is disgusting.

I take it Michelle Ryan is not your piece of chicken?

I have an irrational hatred of the Vibram Five-Finger thingies. I don't know why. Which, presumably, is why it's irrational.

I had a trainer at the gym who swore by them. He talked probably a dozen clients into buying them, but I just couldn't get past how stupid they look.

In 2006, I wanted to run, but after a mile or so, my knees who scream. Scream! I kept running occasionally, and tried to work out other ways, but my knees kept aching.

Then Vibrams started showing up, and I thought, "well, they can't make my knees hurt more." So I got a pair.

Anyway, I can run eight miles and my knees don't give a damn. The shoes are fantastic. You might have problems with your calf, or perhaps just with the barefoot-way they make you run, but the "natural" running style is really brilliant and I love my Vibrams.

Yeah, but you still look stupid.

The shoes are fantastic. You might have problems with your calf, or perhaps just with the barefoot-way they make you run, but the "natural" running style is really brilliant and I love my Vibrams.

There's another way to feel as though you're running barefoot. Guess what it is.

Will that other way also keep you from burning your feet on hot asphalt, or picking up splinters and broken glass?

When I see people running barefoot I want to punch them.

Arbitol wins it.

I chortled.

These seem like the people who thought indoor plumbing looked stupid.

Anyway, I can run eight miles and my knees don't give a damn. The shoes are fantastic.

No, wrong, it's not the shoes. If you ran barefoot, you'd achieve the same result.
I run a lot. I sell running gear online, I know a little about running. Most people run heel/toe. The Vibrams or barefoot running forces you to run the way you were meant to, either on the ball of your feet or mid-strike at least. If you watch the really, really fast distance guys, they run like sprinters, right on their toes the whole time. The foot is a natural arch, by running heel/toe you are not utilising the strength and flexibility of the arch, which of course has been developed over the past 150,000 years to perfection.

I do a lot of trail running and must wear shoes for this purpose, however I run barefoot on the beach, grassed oval and treadmill.

And yes, even though I sell them, Vibrams do look stupid.

No, wrong, it's not the shoes. If you ran barefoot, you'd achieve the same result.

Well of course, but when your running environment includes trails, city streets, and cold weather, shoes are mandatory. Treadmills are my only option for really going barefoot, but I hate them and only use them when there is snow.

By the way, if anyone hasn't read "Born to Run", it's an awesome book.

Well of course, but when your running environment includes trails, city streets, and cold weather, shoes are mandatory.

Shoes are for pu$$ies.