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Friday, July 13, 2012

Chipper Jones Makes Rather Forgettable Locker-Room Speech Before All-Star Game

I saw this the other day…and I immediately wanted to run through a Goop®/Fluff® composite wall for Chipper!

Chipper Jones is one of my favorite active baseball players, and he’s also capable of saying some pretty awesome/funny stuff here and there, but there’s really only so much you can say in a pre-All-Star Game locker room pep talk. By “so much,” I mean nothing meaningful:

To be fair, this game is meaningful to guys like Chipper, whose Braves actually stand half a chance in Hell of reaching the World Series and enjoying home-field advantage. I’m sure half the room totally checked out, though.

Repoz Posted: July 13, 2012 at 11:06 AM | 19 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
Tags: all star game, braves

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1. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: July 13, 2012 at 11:29 AM (#4181756)

Robinson Cano should have picked Billy Butler to give the NL pre-game speech.

Or Ichiro Suzuki.

2. Joey B. has ignited his October #Natitude Posted: July 13, 2012 at 11:36 AM (#4181763)

Well did you see what they did to Verlander? The speech worked!

3. Heinie Mantush (Krusty) Posted: July 13, 2012 at 11:36 AM (#4181764)

I thought this was an Onion headline.

4. spike Posted: July 13, 2012 at 11:37 AM (#4181766)

Not half as forgettable as this article.

5. DA Baracus is gritty and hits with RISP Posted: July 13, 2012 at 11:37 AM (#4181767)

They won. It worked.

6. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: July 13, 2012 at 11:40 AM (#4181772)

Hey, it was probably the last all star game for a bunch of those guys! Why don't they get to make speeches?

7. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: July 13, 2012 at 11:52 AM (#4181786)

I refuse to WTFV, but I hope he didn't say "win one for the Chipper"

8. Lassus Posted: July 13, 2012 at 12:04 PM (#4181796)

I refuse to WTFV, but I hope he didn't say "win one for the Chipper"

Oh my god, if only he had. That would have almost been worth years of watching him beat up the Mets.

9. Hack Wilson Posted: July 13, 2012 at 12:30 PM (#4181811)

I like the part where he compares the National League to Pearl Harbor after it had been bombed by the Germans.

10. Rickey Fredonia Fudge Duckery Precious Twiddle Posted: July 13, 2012 at 12:31 PM (#4181813)

Chipper doesn't give speeches. This was so canned and staged as to defy gravity. It was a stupid idea, probably dreamed up by Fox, and Chipper played along.

11. winnipegwhip Posted: July 13, 2012 at 12:46 PM (#4181826)

I like the part where he compares the National League to Pearl Harbor after it had been bombed by the Germans.

If he used this line would the NL put a float in the Red Carpet PreGame Event? I wouldn't mind seeing the Deathmobile appear with the head of George Brett's Statue on it.

12. SoSH U at work Posted: July 13, 2012 at 12:59 PM (#4181840)

Chipper doesn't give speeches. This was so canned and staged as to defy gravity. It was a stupid idea, probably dreamed up by Fox, and Chipper played along.

I didn't mind the lame speech. What galledwas Fox's repeated attempts to pretend the speech was some magnificent work of inspirational rhetoric.

13. Rickey Fredonia Fudge Duckery Precious Twiddle Posted: July 13, 2012 at 01:04 PM (#4181846)

I didn't mind the lame speech. What galledwas Fox's repeated attempts to pretend the speech was some magnificent work of inspirational rhetoric.

I blame Ichiro. No. Seriously. I blame Ichiro. Or, specifically, I blame the Oort cloud of stupid that Ichiro's infamous speechifying before the AL stars has unleashed upon the Earth. When Fox learned that he did that, all of a sudden their had to be inspirational speeches all around. ####### Fox.

14. winnipegwhip Posted: July 13, 2012 at 01:14 PM (#4181856)

I like the part where he compares the National League to Pearl Harbor after it had been bombed by the Germans.

The closest thing Jones could have used was this quote by Ichiro

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtImIqR5neU

15. Harveys Wallbangers

Posted: July 13, 2012 at 01:24 PM (#4181858)

you know who would have given a good speech to the nl if he was still around?

chub feeney. he always worked to get the fellas riled up before the all star game so he could rub lee macphail's nose in the brown stuff afterward

among the current roster the best bet to give a let's go boys speech would be yadier since he is a bit crazy and has some street cred being an all star multiple times.

16. bobm Posted: July 13, 2012 at 03:09 PM (#4181905)

I didn't mind the lame speech. What galledwas Fox's repeated attempts to pretend the speech was some magnificent work of inspirational rhetoric.

Have you listened to Joe Buck call a game? He should be envious of even Chipper's speaking ability!

17. The Yankee Clapper Posted: July 13, 2012 at 04:48 PM (#4181946)

chub feeney. he always worked to get the fellas riled up before the all star game so he could rub lee macphail's nose in the brown stuff afterward

Well, that was back when the AL and NL were as much business rivals as partners. The elimination of league autonomy is the biggest change of the Selig era. Which makes it more difficult to get excited about the All-Star game, even if it "counts".

18. JE (Jason Epstein)

Posted: July 13, 2012 at 04:54 PM (#4181950)

Chipper: "Good night, Mr. Walters."
Everyone else: "Mmmm."

19. Justin T is expanding the aperture of awareness Posted: July 13, 2012 at 09:38 PM (#4182148)

Chipper doesn't give speeches. This was so canned and staged as to defy gravity. It was a stupid idea, probably dreamed up by Fox, and Chipper played along.

This is undoubtedly correct. Fox aired this during the fifteen or so minutes I was able to pay attention to the game, and it was horrible.

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Friday, July 13, 2012

Chipper Jones Makes Rather Forgettable Locker-Room Speech Before All-Star Game

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