Anxiety and depression are very real. I have had similar episodes over the past six months. It started with heart symptoms and then I began having constant muscle twitching in my legs and all over my body. My muscles twitch constantly and they have never went away. Doctors have no explanation but they have deemed the twitching "benign."

Good luck, Joey.

My muscles twitch constantly and they have never went away. Doctors have no explanation but they have deemed the twitching "benign."

Yeah, I have that, though mine includes periodic episodes where some part of my body is shaking. I can control which body part, say my arms when I'm walking, or a leg when I'm trying to write, but something is bouncing around. The doctors haven't identified it, but it feels like I've just got adrenaline running through my system.

It's possible that Votto is describing a suicidal episode here. Mine is only scary in retrospect. At the time, there was no fear at all, except of having to go to work in the morning. The problem with serious depressive episodes, at least for me, is that they feel so rational. They are the only time in my life when I really feel like I understand everything. I can see how religion is a way out of it for a lot of people. Not only does that bring a sense of community, but I have to imagine that a real religious experience feels much the same way as deep depression does. Everything clicks, and I'm at peace with the world. I don't know that it makes sense, given my proclivity to want to kill myself at the same time*, but the pain of living goes away, and fighting it seems so much worse than just going with it. It's seductive.

*I use the present tense, because, for me, depression is like alcoholism. I don't think I'll ever be completely free of it. I thought I was at one point, but it came back when I was under enough stress. Fortunately, I haven't had a really bad episode in almost two years. Hopefully, I won't again.

*I use the present tense, because, for me, depression is like alcoholism. I don't think I'll ever be completely free of it. I thought I was at one point, but it came back when I was under enough stress. Fortunately, I haven't had a really bad episode in almost two years. Hopefully, I won't again.

+1

I think that it's great that players like Votto, Greinke, etc. are coming out in the open about their struggles with this sort of thing. The biggest problem with depression is the social stigma, and these guys are helping to realize that all sorts of people suffer from it.

I remember 10 or 12 years ago when Pete Harnisch missed some time early in the season with the Mets and tried to explain it as a withdrawal symptoms from tobacco (i.e., something physiological) because run-of-the-mill clinical depression wasn't accepted in MLB clubhouses (or fans/media).

Make that +2. Good luck, Joey & everyone else.

I think that it's great that players like Votto, Greinke, etc. are coming out in the open about their struggles with this sort of thing.

and then ######## like the Deadspin editors mock them for it.

Deadspin is so low that they would have a humorous (in their opinion) thread about Willard Herschberger if they existed in 1940.

I get the muscle twitching episodes, too. I also had a panic attack around the same time I first started getting the twitching about six or seven years ago, but I don't remember which came first. Haven't had any more panic attacks, but I still get twitching. For me, the twitching is most strongly correlated with a lack of sleep. But sleep also ties into the mood/depression/anxiety feedback loop, so it's probably all part of the same mechanism.

*I use the present tense, because, for me, depression is like alcoholism. I don't think I'll ever be completely free of it. I thought I was at one point, but it came back when I was under enough stress.

Ditto.

I wasted money on aa therapist last year who told me "face my fears" and medication that seemed to have no effect beyond the placebo.

Still, I've made a lot of progress, but certain things like the panic attacks and teh insomnia will probably never completely go away...

On the other hand, my therapist has been a godsend for me. She has done a hell of a lot more than tell me to face my fears. As for medication, I've had some that were useless, and some that helped a lot. That's true for most people that try them. You have to sort around to find what works.