Kannengieser: Counterpoint: The Marlins’ Home Run Celebration Machine Is Awesome

The consensus seems to be that Marlins Ballpark’s home run celebration machine is tacky, over-the-top, nonsensical and just plain awful. All of those adjectives are accurate, except for “awful”, which should be replaced with “awesome.”

...Enter Marlins Ballpark and the Moulin Rouge-esque home run contraption. It is more adventurous than any current MLB stadium amenity, rivaled only by the backstop aquarium about 400 feet away. Imagine Mike Stanton crushing a home run to center field, then rounding the bases accompanied by the sights—and sounds—of the Marlins’ own Bazooko Circus. It’s just awesome, in the way that Death Wish III, Mark McGwire taking batting practice or a performance of 1812 Overture with live cannon fire is awesome. There is no pretense of tastefulness, and that’s okay. Not everything in baseball has to be Vin Scully. There is room for Bill Veeck. And it’ll probably annoy Bob Costas, so there’s that.

I want to hate all things Marlins—especially considering the crony capitalism and theft of citizens’ dollars which were integral for building Marlins Ballpark—but I have to admire the home run celebration machine for the absurd spectacle that is is. Do I want every team erecting their own? Not necessarily, but some fresh architectural and attraction ideas in MLB would be welcome.