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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Cubs’ Byrd sports a new look

BULLY!

the Cubs’ Marlon Byrd was sporting a significant amount of fresh tattoo ink Saturday.

Running the length of Byrd’s right arm is a portion of a Teddy Roosevelt speech called “The Man in the Arena,” which dates back to April 23, 1910 and was given in Paris, France.

The most famous portion of the speech, which is believed to be the text Byrd committed to his arm, is as follows:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

The District Attorney Posted: February 22, 2012 at 12:17 AM | 155 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: cubs, history

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   1. dcsmyth1 Posted: February 22, 2012 at 07:25 AM (#4065946)
Byrd tries to come off as this optimistic, self-motivated, hard-working person. He may be all of that, but he certainly ain't 'mature'.
   2. TerpNats Posted: February 22, 2012 at 09:04 AM (#4065963)
If he wants to return to the Nationals (there's a new ballpark now, and he won't have to worry about having his car stolen), he chose the wrong racing president to endorse.
   3. Chris Needham Posted: February 22, 2012 at 10:26 AM (#4065977)
"which is believed to be"

This is a phrase you never really want associated with your new tattoo.
   4. Heinie Mantush (Krusty) Posted: February 22, 2012 at 10:27 AM (#4065978)
I'd be far more impressed if he quoted this.


Speaking as someone with no tattoos, I think that's a fairly decent ink job, though.

   5. Moneyball can't buy you love (Joey B.) Posted: February 22, 2012 at 10:55 AM (#4066001)
I can't wait until this idiotic tattoo craze finally dies out.
   6. The Long Arm of Rudy Law Posted: February 22, 2012 at 11:03 AM (#4066008)
I can't wait until this idiotic tattoo craze finally dies out.


It will die out as soon as somebody develops an even more idiotic craze.
   7. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: February 22, 2012 at 11:08 AM (#4066013)
People have been making signifying marks on their bodies for as long as there's been the technology for it. There may be less tattoo-like markings that eventually supersede the tattoo, but the whole thing is just a human practice that's always been here and always will be here.
   8. salvomania Posted: February 22, 2012 at 11:29 AM (#4066034)
Sounds like he's pre-emptively defending his 2012.
   9. Chicago Joe Posted: February 22, 2012 at 11:32 AM (#4066040)
Sounds like he's pre-emptively defending his 2012.


I'm interpreting this as a shot at Sullivan.
   10. Don't want the truth; just wanna see some dingers Posted: February 22, 2012 at 11:35 AM (#4066044)
I have one tattoo, but in an easily concealable location (shoulder blade). Mostly for professional reasons, but also because tattoos exposed to sunlight will eventually fade or run. By the time he retires, Byrd's is going to be a smudge.
   11. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: February 22, 2012 at 11:40 AM (#4066046)
I can't wait until this idiotic tattoo craze finally dies out.


Yeah, good luck with that. The oldest European mummy, Otzi the Iceman (circa ~3300 BC), has 57 different tattoos on his body. It's been around forever, and probably always will be.

(Half a Coke to MCoA.)
   12. Bob Dernier Cri Posted: February 22, 2012 at 11:42 AM (#4066051)
I wouldn't want that much text on my arm. I'd get distracted reading it.
   13. gef the talking mongoose Posted: February 22, 2012 at 11:48 AM (#4066056)
Thank you, god: Joey B. hates tattoos. Accordingly, any regrets I might ever experience over my 3 (easily concealed, as with Don't want the truth; mine are on the upper arm) will now never occur, which comes as something of a relief.
   14. Rennie's Tenet Posted: February 22, 2012 at 11:54 AM (#4066060)
I'm just glad Cespedes didn't do this with a Castro speech.
   15. Moloka'i Three-Finger Brown (Declino DeShields) Posted: February 22, 2012 at 11:54 AM (#4066061)
Yeah, good luck with that. The oldest European mummy, Otzi the Iceman (circa ~3300 BC), has 57 different tattoos on his body.


Died of ink poisoning?

Personally, I think Byrd should have had all that text written in WingDings.
   16. bobm Posted: February 22, 2012 at 12:21 PM (#4066092)
It would have been cheaper for Byrd to get "go back to your mother's basement" tattoo'ed on his arm.
   17. Flynn Posted: February 22, 2012 at 12:30 PM (#4066102)
People have been making signifying marks on their bodies for as long as there's been the technology for it. There may be less tattoo-like markings that eventually supersede the tattoo, but the whole thing is just a human practice that's always been here and always will be here.


Of course, but tattoos have definitely gotten more prominent in the past 10 years or so. How many women did you see with a chest piece or men with a sleeve 10-15 years ago? Hardly ever, but you see that all the time now. It's hardly being judgmental or a prude to wonder if people are going to regret those and whether people will stop doing it.
   18. Enrico Pallazzo Posted: February 22, 2012 at 12:45 PM (#4066121)
I don't have any tattoos, but I've been thinking lately that if I were to ever get one it would have something to do with the Fibonacci series or the Golden Spiral. Or some sort of spiral to reflect my Pantheistic philosophy and all the micro-macro meta-connectedness stuff I think about every day. I'm still not going to get one.
   19. Chicago Joe Posted: February 22, 2012 at 01:07 PM (#4066166)
micro-macro meta-connectedness stuff I think about every day.


It's a good thing, too. Imagine all the defenseless bacteria you'd be slaughtering with that needle.
   20. hokieneer Posted: February 22, 2012 at 01:08 PM (#4066167)
Speaking as someone with no tattoos, I think that's a fairly decent ink job, though.


Speaking as someone whose father is a professional tattoo artist and has been for almost 20 years, you really can't tell the quality from the pictures I've seen.

I can't wait until this idiotic tattoo craze finally dies out.

It might die down, but never out. Tattoos have forever held cultural, religious, and artistic places in every form of society. The "fad" now is generic "tribal" work on the back/upper arm , Asian lettering (which according to my dad, more than 70% of people do not know what is actually on their body), etc. It's just your generic late-teens early 20s fad where everyone wants to be different by being the same. Years ago my dad told me he started refusing to do the generic work on occasion, just because it wasn't worth his energy and patience to do it as he considers himself an artist (and he is a hell of an artist who just happened to choose this medium). Of course the economy tanking has made those decisions harder for him to make.
   21. retro-shiite Posted: February 22, 2012 at 02:04 PM (#4066240)
Asian lettering (which according to my dad, more than 70% of people do not know what is actually on their body), etc.

Once, while rather drunk at a bar, I was subjected to a tiresome explanation from some woman of what all her tats meant. When she got to the Asian lettering, I interrupted her and said something like, "That must be Chinese for 'real f***ing original.' "

She finally shut up. And walked away. But that was OK.
   22. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: February 22, 2012 at 02:19 PM (#4066258)
Asian lettering (which according to my dad, more than 70% of people do not know what is actually on their body)


Relevant.
Also relevant.
   23. Lassus Posted: February 22, 2012 at 03:06 PM (#4066299)
I have the most famous baseball number - for the non-baseball reason - on my inside left wrist/forearm, and a tenor g-clef on my inside right wrist/forearm. I've considered various Shakespeare/Pynchon quotes on my back for a number of years, but it will probably never happen.


The "fad" now is generic "tribal" work on the back/upper arm , Asian lettering

I feel just from non-tattoo-artist observation that these two tattoo memes had really arrested in the past five or ten years. No? The woman who gave me my first tattoo in San Francisco told me if I wanted a dolphin or asian writing that I would have to go somewhere else.


Of course the economy tanking has made those decisions harder for him to make.

Based on absolutely nothing, I would have imagined that the economy wouldn't have hit the tattoo industry as badly as some others.

   24. Something Other Posted: February 22, 2012 at 03:18 PM (#4066309)
Speaking of dolphins, what's up with the dolphin that woman get that looks like it's doing nothing other than diving into their, well, the center of their groin? I find it a distraction.
   25. hokieneer Posted: February 22, 2012 at 03:21 PM (#4066311)
I feel just from non-tattoo-artist observation that these two tattoo memes had really arrested in the past five or ten years. No?

Judging from my personal observations and conversations with my father, 10 years is pretty accurate. That's about the time this wrestler became an overnight sensation.


Based on absolutely nothing, I would have imagined that the economy wouldn't have hit the tattoo industry as badly as some others.

Getting a new tattoo is pretty far down on the list of services to spend disposable income on, those things aren't cheap. My father's business has primarily been located in working class or lower class areas, not exactly a prime example of a booming economic growth pre-2007.
   26. Walks Clog Up the Bases Posted: February 22, 2012 at 03:40 PM (#4066327)
Asian lettering (which according to my dad, more than 70% of people do not know what is actually on their body), etc.


The girl I'm currently, ahem, seeing casually, has a couple of these and admittedly falls into the 70%. I can't imagine getting inked with something I didn't know the translation of.
   27. Arbitol Dijaler Posted: February 22, 2012 at 03:41 PM (#4066329)
If I was going to get a tattoo I would get the Jewish star Vin Diesel was sporting in Knockaround Guys. But first I'd have to work out, because it would look silly on my skinny jew arms.
   28. Walt Davis Posted: February 22, 2012 at 03:58 PM (#4066344)
This stuff doesn't ever really go away. The folks "on the edge" have to keep getting more extreme because mainstream suburbanites keep copying them.

In my lifetime we've gone from it being a puberty ritual when a woman got her ears pierced to no big deal for a woman to get naughty bits pierced and/or tats all over her body. It's true, back in my day, sorority girls did not have pierced tongues and maybe a butterfly tattoo on the ankle. Yet 15-20 years ago, I knew generally rational people who were branded.

I'm not expecting tattooing to fade away particularly as I am "worried" about what can possibly come next as the extreme (then mainstream) form of self-expression -- brain piercing? Butt plugs with feathers sticking out? chopping off a finger?
   29. McCoy Posted: February 22, 2012 at 04:14 PM (#4066355)
I actually knew a guy who chopped off one of his thumbs for kicks. He then lost the other one a year later in a motorcycle accident.
   30. Sunday silence Posted: February 22, 2012 at 04:24 PM (#4066365)
why did I think Marlon Byrd was a utility player for the Tinker/Evans/Chance Cubies???
   31. Nasty Nate Posted: February 22, 2012 at 04:34 PM (#4066376)
Why does everyone assume that tattoos are always about being on "the edge," or "being rebellious," or "being original"? Is it just so they can smugly point out the supposed hypocrisy when the tattoos don't live up to that standard? I'd guess most people who got those bad "tribal" or asian lettering tattoos in the 90's didn't think that they were being original or especially rebellious, but they just thought that they looked cool.
   32. Nasty Nate Posted: February 22, 2012 at 04:36 PM (#4066377)
I actually knew a guy who chopped off one of his thumbs for kicks. He then lost the other one a year later in a motorcycle accident.


So you're saying he now has toe-thumbs?
   33. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: February 22, 2012 at 04:50 PM (#4066388)
One of the girls in my high school accidentally cut the pad off of her thumb while working in the kitchen, and when they sewed it back on at the hospital, they accidentally did it upside down, so that her thumbprint on that hand is pointing in the wrong direction.
   34. Moneyball can't buy you love (Joey B.) Posted: February 22, 2012 at 04:58 PM (#4066393)
I actually knew a guy who chopped off one of his thumbs for kicks.

Man, and I thought Ronnie Lott was a badass.
   35. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: February 22, 2012 at 04:59 PM (#4066394)
I can't wait until this idiotic tattoo craze finally dies out.


It will die out when the majority of the mainstream tattooed population reach saggy-skin age.
   36. The District Attorney Posted: February 22, 2012 at 04:59 PM (#4066395)
So you're saying he now has toe-thumbs?
They do it every day.
   37. Swedish Chef Posted: February 22, 2012 at 05:03 PM (#4066403)
The big challenge to the popularity of tattoos will come when a generation grows up surrounded by distinctly uncool middle-aged and elder people full of tats.
   38. McCoy Posted: February 22, 2012 at 05:12 PM (#4066415)
The biggest reasons I've never gotten a tattoo is that I've never gotten why it is so great to have something so permanent on my body, it seemed faddy, it would look horrible over time, and didn't think the amount of pain I would experience would be low enough to make it worth it.
   39. SoSH U at work Posted: February 22, 2012 at 05:27 PM (#4066441)
The biggest reasons I've never gotten a tattoo is that I've never gotten why it is so great to have something so permanent on my body,


I don't even like getting something temporary applied to my skin - washable ink, face paint, makeup, bandaids, etc. The idea of putting something on my skin forever is kinda frightening.
   40. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: February 22, 2012 at 05:29 PM (#4066446)
I can't think of anything that was meaningful to me at ages 21-25 that I would have been confident would have been meaningful when I was 60.
   41. phredbird Posted: February 22, 2012 at 05:41 PM (#4066454)
i wouldn't get a tattoo unless i designed it myself. i've come up with a pretty badass dragon number, but never had the nerve to pull the trigger.
   42. YR Denies Jesus Montero Posted: February 22, 2012 at 05:43 PM (#4066462)
The biggest reasons I've never gotten a tattoo is that I've never gotten why it is so great to have something so permanent on my body


Yeah, I think back to what tattoos I might have gotten had the tattoo fad been around when I was of target age. If I got one in high school it would have been a huge Van Halen logo. Had I gotten one in college it would have been Colonel Reb, who isn't even the Ole Miss mascot anymore. And if I got one after watching "Spirited Away" I would have gotten this. I think everything has worked out for the best for me.

So which Primate is this?
   43. Sam Hutcheson is the Rickey Henderson of... Posted: February 22, 2012 at 05:46 PM (#4066468)
I can't think of anything that was meaningful to me at ages 21-25 that I would have been confident would have been meaningful when I was 60.


Perhaps if you had been engaged enough in your early 20s to ask what was deeply meaningful to you, enough so as to have that thing inked into your skin, you would remember it now.

Alternately, I know people who literally can't remember the details of their back piece.
   44. Lassus Posted: February 22, 2012 at 05:51 PM (#4066476)
It will die out when the majority of the mainstream tattooed population reach saggy-skin age.

I'm curious what tattoos "dying out" to people means.
   45. YR Denies Jesus Montero Posted: February 22, 2012 at 05:53 PM (#4066480)
I'm curious what tattoos "dying out" to people means.


That its no longer the contemporary equivalent of a mullet, exhibited to show the world how cool and down you are.
   46. Nasty Nate Posted: February 22, 2012 at 06:11 PM (#4066502)
That its no longer the contemporary equivalent of a mullet, exhibited to show the world how cool and down you are.


Yeah but you can shave a mullet in 5 minutes. If getting tattoos stop being popular, the millions of them that are on bodies now won't suddenly disappear.
   47. SoSH U at work Posted: February 22, 2012 at 06:12 PM (#4066504)
I'm curious what tattoos "dying out" to people means.


Obviously it's never going to disappear. At the same time, in the not-so-distant past the percentage of tattoo-sporters was much lower than it is now. There's no reason to think that tattooing's popularity won't again wax and wane.

   48. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: February 22, 2012 at 06:14 PM (#4066506)

I'm curious what tattoos "dying out" to people means.


The end of the phenomenon where a great majority of mainstream, middle-class, suburbanite 20-somethings get tattooes of Chinese characters, dolphins, Warner Brothers characters, sports logos, frat/sorority letters, band names, and barbed wire.


Perhaps if you had been engaged enough in your early 20s to ask what was deeply meaningful to you, enough so as to have that thing inked into your skin, you would remember it now.


Yea, probably. But the thing was, I was in my early 20s.
   49. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: February 22, 2012 at 06:14 PM (#4066507)
If getting tattoos stop being popular, the millions of them that are on bodies now won't suddenly disappear.


That's why God invented steel wool.
   50. salvomania Posted: February 22, 2012 at 06:21 PM (#4066518)
I'm not a fan of tattoos for myself, and I normally find them really unattractive on women who I might otherwise find attractive.

My girlfriend has lovely, very pale skin and is very fair, and the thought of some blue-black ink on her just seems like marring and defacing something that is so beautiful to begin with. I guess others would see it as nice blank canvas...

Her sister, who is an acupuncturist, has tattoos all over her body, and I actually find hers quite beautiful... she has a flock of birds starting on her upper arm that gradually dissipates as it travels down her forearm, and it seems truly like "body art" and not simply some lame mark on her skin.

My co-worker has an enormous Fenway Park tattooed completely across her upper back---left shoulder blade to right shoulder blade---and if nothing else, I have to admire her dedication....
   51. Fred Lynn Nolan Ryan Sweeney Agonistes Posted: February 22, 2012 at 07:53 PM (#4066577)
I can't think of anything that was meaningful to me at ages 21-25 that I would have been confident would have been meaningful when I was 60.

I tried to account for this in my mid-20's, by trying to come up with tattoo ideas based on foods I like. I'll still like garlic when I'm 60, right?
But I couldn't come up with a sketch that looked like anything other than a bulbous nose with very hairy nostrils. Not hot.
   52. Something Other Posted: February 22, 2012 at 08:16 PM (#4066583)
My girlfriend has lovely, very pale skin and is very fair, and the thought of some blue-black ink on her just seems like marring and defacing something that is so beautiful to begin with.
Yup. When I look at my girl's back in some way it's like a beautiful, blank canvas to project dreams onto. If I had to stop and read or register or notice some text or the same flower every time it would seriously detract from the experience. I also don't get how a tongue stud in any way enhances kissing.

On the other hand, strangers' tattoos can be interesting conversation starters.
   53. Drew (Primakov, Gungho Iguanas) Posted: February 22, 2012 at 08:16 PM (#4066584)
"which is believed to be"

This is a phrase you never really want associated with your new tattoo.


Or with your theoretically well-researched article.
   54. asinwreck Posted: February 22, 2012 at 08:51 PM (#4066606)
I hope this starts a trend. Who else will commit famed oratory to their arms?

David Freese?

Bobby Valentine?

Tim Wakefield?

Roger Clemens?

Ozzie Guillen?
   55. Joe Bivens, Idiot Posted: February 22, 2012 at 08:55 PM (#4066609)
On the arm isn't impressive. On the PENIS, now, that would be impressive.
   56. YR Denies Jesus Montero Posted: February 22, 2012 at 09:08 PM (#4066617)
Well yeah, that's where I got the Gettysburg Address.
   57. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: February 22, 2012 at 09:13 PM (#4066621)
On the PENIS, now, that would be impressive.


"I come not to praise Caesar, but to bury this in him."
   58. Lassus Posted: February 22, 2012 at 09:15 PM (#4066622)
...exhibited to show the world how cool and down you are.

Preening idiots are preening idiots. It has nothing to do with the tattoo, and having one does not make you such by default.
   59. YR Denies Jesus Montero Posted: February 22, 2012 at 09:16 PM (#4066624)

Idiots are idiots. It has nothing to do with the tattoo.


The tattoo doesn't make an idiot, but because tattoos are so trendy and faddish now idiots get them in droves, where previously they might have been satisfied with some other display of tribal affiliation, like a black concert tshirt.
   60. Lassus Posted: February 22, 2012 at 09:28 PM (#4066629)
Eh. I try and ignore the idiots I don't see in the mirror.
   61. Enrico Pallazzo Posted: February 22, 2012 at 09:38 PM (#4066635)
I can't think of anything that was meaningful to me at ages 21-25 that I would have been confident would have been meaningful when I was 60.


Perhaps if you had been engaged enough in your early 20s to ask what was deeply meaningful to you, enough so as to have that thing inked into your skin, you would remember it now.

Yea, probably. But the thing was, I was in my early 20s.


As someone who is currently in their early 20s, I can attest that the only thing that is important to me now that I'm certain will still be important to me when I'm 60 is music and the guitar. Not even baseball. Instead of wasting money on a tattoo, I'll just save up for a sick ####### guitar.
   62. The Gurus DO NOT BourbonSamurai Posted: February 22, 2012 at 09:40 PM (#4066636)
I have my scottish clan crest, which I am relatively certain will remain meaningful to me as long as I am alive. At some point I would like to get my family's coat of arms and possibly the lion rampant. All concealable by a long sleeve shirt.
   63. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: February 22, 2012 at 10:22 PM (#4066659)
I have my scottish clan crest, which I am relatively certain will remain meaningful to me as long as I am alive. At some point I would like to get my family's coat of arms and possibly the lion rampant. All concealable by a long sleeve shirt.

Those seem like "traditional" tatoos. Like a Marine getting a Globe and Anchor, or a sailor getting an anchor. Things that are lifelong affiliations, and signal something permanent, or a real right-of-passage.

IMHO, those tatoos make sense.

   64. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: February 22, 2012 at 10:27 PM (#4066661)

Those seem like "traditional" tatoos. Like a Marine getting a Globe and Anchor, or a sailor getting an anchor. Things that are lifelong affiliations, and signal something permanent, or a real right-of-passage.


Right, I'm not against all tattoos. It certainly makes sense for some people to get them, for certain reasons. I'm talking more about the mainstream trend of getting drunk in college and getting a dolphin on your ankle because it makes you so cutting edge, or it will piss off your parents, or because it show how unique you are.
   65. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: February 22, 2012 at 10:32 PM (#4066668)

Right, I'm not against all tattoos. It certainly makes sense for some people to get them, for certain reasons. I'm talking more about the mainstream trend of getting drunk in college and getting a dolphin on your ankle because it makes you so cutting edge, or it will piss off your parents, or because it show how unique you are.


Yes. Those are stupid.

Plus, most tattoos on women are ugly.
   66. YR Denies Jesus Montero Posted: February 22, 2012 at 11:11 PM (#4066687)
Tattoos used to be cool when they were worn by guys like this.

These days you're more likely to find guys like this.
   67. hokieneer Posted: February 23, 2012 at 12:19 AM (#4066723)
I had no idea this thread would still be alive...

I'm glad everyone seems to understand the difference in fad tattoos and actual artistic, spiritual, family, etc; forms of expression. I grew up around tattoos, so I appreciate and in some ways admire the individuality and personal expression involved. I have seen plenty of the full or 3/4 sleeves, back pieces, etc; that my dad has done, and you just can't help but admire them, both from the artist and "canvas" perspective.

I myself do not have any tattoos (and neither do my 2 siblings). Even as I approach 30, I'm still not opposed to getting some ink, but I have yet to decide on all the details about what I want and where. If I would have got one in my early 20s it would have been a guitar or something music related. Now I barely find 20 min. to pick up an acoustic and jam. It is not a decision to take lightly.

I also don't get how a tongue stud in any way enhances kissing.


It doesn't. You just tough through that part to get to the benefits later.

Plus, most tattoos on women are ugly.


To each his own. For me, in general tattoos can have more of a negative effect than positive, but it's far from being universal.
   68. jdbkaput Posted: February 23, 2012 at 12:36 AM (#4066732)
Nothing spells masculinity more than staining your flesh with a speech by one of America's great autocrats.

Maybe he could get Kennedy's Kelo opinion tattooed across his ass before the 2013 season.
   69. Walt Davis Posted: February 23, 2012 at 01:30 AM (#4066761)
Her sister, who is an acupuncturist, has tattoos all over her body, and I actually find hers quite beautiful

wait, I've seen this movie ...
   70. Pokey Reese's Pieces Posted: February 23, 2012 at 02:21 AM (#4066778)
Lots of thoughts here. I've found the tongue stud on women to mean "this makes me look easy and kinky" more than "I actually know how to use this to enhance your pleasure".

Having worked in bars for like a decade or so, I've come across countless women with tats and piercings from head to toe. Honestly, it scares me a bit. The more tats and piercings, the more she probably enjoys pain. Just not my thing.

A reg at a hotel bar I worked at was a plastic surgeon, specializing in...um, penile enhancement (this was before the pill era). He flat-out told me that a large number of his younger patients also had the tribal or barbed-wire tattoos. I know, chicken-or-egg and whatnot, but it still makes me chuckle.

Regarding the Asian tats, it's amazing how many ways the Chinese have to symbolize "love", at least if you believe the tats I've seen, lol.

Tats don't bother me, but in a professional setting, for godssake, hide them. I'm astounded by the sheer volume of neck tats I see daily. To me, that's like admitting to everyone that you are and continue to plan on being unemployable in any reasonable setting. Unless you work in a tattoo shop, I guess. Maybe I'm just getting old.

Surprised I haven't seen it brought up yet, but much, much worse than tats are the ear guages I see in the younger set (I'm 36--"lawn exit" sign at the ready). They are just god-awful. Who goes to job interviews looking like an African Bushman? Who thinks it's a good idea to simulate the look of the lucky survivor of a gunshot to the face? Plus, since they are constantly trying to heal, they generate large amounts of ooze and pus and stink unmercifully.

Anyway, just some random thoughts from a long, long time lurker.
   71. Something Other Posted: February 23, 2012 at 05:02 AM (#4066796)
70--interesting post, PRP. Thanks.

Lots of thoughts here. I've found the tongue stud on women to mean "this makes me look easy and kinky" more than "I actually know how to use this to enhance your pleasure".
I'm still having difficulty with the idea that metal somehow feels better than tongue. I suppose it's possible to improve on the original--anything's possible, after all--but any improvement is going to be incremental, and very, very minor.
   72. Lassus Posted: February 23, 2012 at 08:11 AM (#4066808)
Tats don't bother me, but in a professional setting, for godssake, hide them. I'm astounded by the sheer volume of neck tats I see daily. To me, that's like admitting to everyone that you are and continue to plan on being unemployable in any reasonable setting. Unless you work in a tattoo shop, I guess. Maybe I'm just getting old.

One of the IT guys at MLBAM - one of those guys without whom the place would probably melted down 100 times in 2007/2008 as they heavily expanded - was inked in various uncoverable spots, had maybe 00 gauges in the ears, if I recall? He was in plenty of meetings with the suits and execs. Someone somewhere making a hell of a lot of money decided the tattoos kind of didn't matter if you are good at what you do. 'Twas a better decision than the alternative, I'd say.

   73. Rants Mulliniks (formerly Cold Prosimian) Posted: February 23, 2012 at 08:22 AM (#4066810)
Speaking of dolphins, what's up with the dolphin that women get that looks like it's doing nothing other than diving into their, well, the center of their groin? I find it a distraction.


It just caught the scent of fish, and is moving in for the kill.


A buddy of mine regrets getting a tat of the Alexander Keith's (Canadian beer) stag on his shin when he was 18. I can't imagine why. For the record, my canvas is blank.
   74. Joe Bivens, Idiot Posted: February 23, 2012 at 08:31 AM (#4066811)
It's a matter of taste, obviously. I find tattoos silly. I would never consider getting one.

Every tattoo thread allows me to break out this "witticism": "Tasteful tattoo is an oxymoron".

One of my nieces has a lot of tattoos. She's a bit unrefined. She's around 28, and beginning to grow up, some, but still makes bad choices (I won't get into them here).

Her arms are covered with them. To me, it's bizarre looking. Like, circus side-show bizarre. It's a matter of taste.

She showed up at a child support hearing in front of a judge wearing a tank top, showing all her tattoos. She also brought her boyfriend (not the father of the children whose support the hearing was addressing.) (OK, there's one bad choice...actually several...that I've exposed.) She said the judge was rude to her, accusing her of attempting to squeeze money out of the dad. As inappropriate as the judge's comments were, his attitude wasn't surprising.

Anyway, eh. Not for me. I don't think there will be many instances of discrimination against the non-tattooed. The rest of you, good luck.
   75. Ben Broussard Ramjet Posted: February 23, 2012 at 08:49 AM (#4066816)
I'm not a huge fan of tattoos on women, but my wife's come up with a number of ideas, one of which resonates - she's going to get the paw-prints of our pet ferrets tattooed on her calves, about where they land when they prop themselves up on her leg to get attention. That'll be pretty small and tasteful, I think, and since ferrets don't live that long, I can definitely see how that's a fitting . . . tribute? Whatever.
   76. Sam Hutcheson is the Rickey Henderson of... Posted: February 23, 2012 at 09:44 AM (#4066851)
She said the judge was rude to her, accusing her of attempting to squeeze money out of the dad. As inappropriate as the judge's comments were, his attitude wasn't surprising.


If the only reason the judge had to say such a thing was the fact that she had tats and a boyfriend, the judge should be disbarred.
   77. The District Attorney Posted: February 23, 2012 at 09:57 AM (#4066855)
Anyway, just some random thoughts from a long, long time lurker.
Yeah, sorry about this thread, I knew it was marginal but I thought it'd veer towards Teddy Roosevelt. Ah well.
   78. Old Man James Posted: February 23, 2012 at 10:06 AM (#4066862)
I recently heard a story of a guy that dressed cowboyish (hat, boots most of the time) that had ANDY tattooed on the bottom of his foot.
   79. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: February 23, 2012 at 10:08 AM (#4066866)
One of the IT guys at MLBAM - one of those guys without whom the place would probably melted down 100 times in 2007/2008 as they heavily expanded - was inked in various uncoverable spots, had maybe 00 gauges in the ears, if I recall? He was in plenty of meetings with the suits and execs. Someone somewhere making a hell of a lot of money decided the tattoos kind of didn't matter if you are good at what you do. 'Twas a better decision than the alternative, I'd say.

He's not arguing that these people can't do a good job, if hired, he's saying they're hurting their marketability.

If I wear an NRA hat to a job interview, it has no bearing on my skills, but it's going to be off-putting to a bunch of people in NY. These people are making themselves off-putting to a bunch of people, and hurting their employability.
   80. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: February 23, 2012 at 10:12 AM (#4066870)
If the only reason the judge had to say such a thing was the fact that she had tats and a boyfriend, the judge should be disbarred.

I would guess wearing a tank top to court was a bigger faux-pas. Judges want you to "dress-up" for court; shows respect.

There's also no reason for the boyfriend to be there, he's not a party to the case, and if he behaves at all weirdly or inappropriately, it will make the judge question her home environment. A hypothetical to consider (not saying that it's true in this case) is one parent brings the kids grandparents the other brings a skeezy looking boyfriend/girlfriend. Which one do you think the judge will view as the likely better parent?
   81. Lassus Posted: February 23, 2012 at 10:13 AM (#4066871)
He's not arguing that these people can't do a good job, if hired, he's saying they're hurting their marketability.

I was aware of this, I simply think it's short-sighted on the part of an employer.
   82. Joe Bivens, Idiot Posted: February 23, 2012 at 10:15 AM (#4066873)
If the only reason the judge had to say such a thing was the fact that she had tats and a boyfriend, the judge should be disbarred.

I believe he mentioned the father's income not being sufficient to allow for more support. But, yeah, it sounded wrong, second hand. They didn't bring an attorney, and I've learned that you get more respect from judges when you have an attorney with you.

There's also no reason for the boyfriend to be there, he's not a party to the case, and if he behaves at all weirdly or inappropriately, it will make the judge question her home environment.

He's not a bad kid, but he also dressed down for the occasion, and has lots of tattoos.
   83. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: February 23, 2012 at 10:21 AM (#4066877)
I was aware of this, I simply think it's short-sighted on the part of an employer.

It can be. But usually, especially in today's job market, an employer is choosing among multiple qualified candidates. They don't have to take the risk.

I don't really understand why a person can't express what they want to express, but do it on areas of the body that are covered by pants and a long sleeved dress shirt. That's a lot of area to tattoo, pierce, brand, whatever, while being able to completely avoid the downside. Hand/face/neck/other uncoverable tattos have a strong association with gangs and prison.
   84. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: February 23, 2012 at 10:24 AM (#4066881)
He's not a bad kid, but he also dressed down for the occasion, and has lots of tattoos.

The dressing down is a problem. Along with not bringing a lawyer, it suggest you're not taking the situation seriously. Judges take themselves very seriously.

Also, no matter how nice he is, there's literally no upside for him being there. Even if he's clean cut in a $1000 suit, at best he can be neutral; there's no nice boyfriend/girlfriend bonus in custody/support hearings. But, anything he does to annoy the judge hurts his girlfriend.
   85. Joe Bivens, Idiot Posted: February 23, 2012 at 10:28 AM (#4066889)
Also, no matter how nice he is, there's literally no upside for him being there. Even if he's clean cut in a $1000 suit, at best he can be neutral; there's no nice boyfriend/girlfriend bonus in custody/support hearings. But, anything he does to annoy the judge hurts his girlfriend.

Probably so. They're naive. I'm pretty sure they thought his presence would symbolize stability. They think they're in a stable relationship. They're not. They break up several times a year. But in their minds, they're in a stable relationship, because they get back together. So far.
   86. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: February 23, 2012 at 10:33 AM (#4066892)
Probably so. They're naive. I'm pretty sure they thought his presence would symbolize stability. They think they're in a stable relationship. They're not. They break up several times a year. But in their minds, they're in a stable relationship, because they get back together. So far.

That's the kind of thing a lawyer is really helpful for. They know how judges think in general, and even what particular judges like and hate.
   87. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: February 23, 2012 at 10:40 AM (#4066898)
Nothing spells masculinity more than staining your flesh with a speech by one of America's great autocrats.


##### bitch, whine whine. FDR was a good president, and good for the country.

[Edit: That's odd. Why did ##### get nannied the first time, but not the second? You'd think it'd be both, or neither...]
   88. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: February 23, 2012 at 10:47 AM (#4066902)
##### #####, whine whine. FDR was a good president, and good for the country.

The speech is by Teddy.
   89. Lassus Posted: February 23, 2012 at 10:52 AM (#4066907)
I don't really understand why a person can't express what they want to express, but do it on areas of the body that are covered by pants and a long sleeved dress shirt. That's a lot of area to tattoo, pierce, brand, whatever, while being able to completely avoid the downside.

Yeah, I'm not defending neck tattoos, trust me. I'm just speaking generally about OMG YOU LOOK CRAZYYY from employers if someone has the tiniest thing different going on.


Please, no debates about FDR here, does not apply. Debate Teddy all you want.
   90. Blastin Posted: February 23, 2012 at 10:59 AM (#4066912)
I've toyed with the idea of tattoos. I'm a teacher (and, hopefully, eventually in leader in the field of education) so it would have to be small and easily hidden (and ideally a place that won't sag if I ever stop being in marathon-able shape, which I will someday). But I think the only things I know won't change about me are my love for my parents and sister, so maybe something that symbolizes that.

No kids or spouse yet so that's not a consideration.
   91. Joe Bivens, Idiot Posted: February 23, 2012 at 11:09 AM (#4066919)
No kids or spouse yet so that's not a consideration.

I'm sure they'll love it, when that day comes.
   92. gef the talking mongoose Posted: February 23, 2012 at 11:18 AM (#4066929)
Tats don't bother me, but in a professional setting, for godssake, hide them. I'm astounded by the sheer volume of neck tats I see daily. To me, that's like admitting to everyone that you are and continue to plan on being unemployable in any reasonable setting. Unless you work in a tattoo shop, I guess. Maybe I'm just getting old.


I think of those the same way I thought of mohawks in the '80s (& afterward; they're just not as common today, I gather, though the fact that I've become old & no longer move in punk circles might have something to do with that perception) -- they're the equivalent of the long, curved fingernails that Chinese mandarins used to wear to show that they didn't have to engage in work. (Considering how many young women used to affect almost the same types of fingernails while operating cash registers & such around here, I guess that wouldn't fly in the 21st century.)

Didn't get my first tattoo till I was 37. All 3 of mine reflect far-left politics; maybe I'm hoping that they'll help keep me from succumbing to some sort of brain disease that renders me Republican (or, to translate it into BTF lawyerese, libertarian) as I approach senescence ... though the fact that I've made it to 52 without (AFAICT) erring in that dreadful direction gives me a certain amount of hope.

Each cost about $50 (can't remember how much I tipped), but the designs are quite simple & no color was involved, so I guess that's why I got off cheaply. Or maybe downtown Little Rock was a really inexpensive place to get that sort of thing done back in the day. The 2nd & 3rd I had done at the same time, on opposite arms, which means I was in a fair amount of pain for a bit. That might not've been the best idea I ever had.

   93. Liver of blaspheming 'zop Posted: February 23, 2012 at 11:29 AM (#4066940)
I totally don't understand the impulse to get a tattoo. What is the advantage of having a tattoo? Obviously if you're going to ink a permanent mark into your skin, you want it to be something that you wont regret or grow out of, but, why do it in the first place? What's the upside?

Even if you do it as a form of art - why make your body into a canvas? Why not wear clothes with art painted on? Acknowledging that there might be a subset of people who are truly moved by body art and get the tattoo for artistic reasons - wouldn't that be a very very small number of people?

There's obviously some deeply shared impulse to get a tattoo because, well, lots of people get them. What is it? What causes people to look at their skin and think, "I want to put a drawing of X on this!".
   94. gef the talking mongoose Posted: February 23, 2012 at 11:36 AM (#4066947)
Different strokes, period. I mean, I totally don't understand the impulse to buy a car for any reason other than basic transportation, or to play online (or arcade, for that matter) games, or to watch 99.9 percent of any & all TV, or to read 99.9 percent of any & all nongenre fiction, or to believe in a higher power, or to listen to jazz or classical music or opera, or to pay more than a few bucks for a restaurant meal, etc. etc. etc. So it goes.
   95. Lassus Posted: February 23, 2012 at 11:37 AM (#4066948)
There's obviously some deeply shared impulse to get a tattoo because, well, lots of people get them. What is it? What causes people to look at their skin and think, "I want to put a drawing of X on this!".

I was going to say something like art + permanence has a draw for certain types, but honestly, it can't be that across the board. As is generally noted and accepted, a lot of idiots have a lot of hideous and/or stupid tattoos. So, I'm sure it differs. When I was getting my first one, I kept hearing people say "oh it should be meaningful" and "yes, it should really be important to you" and I got so tired of that. My take was "it should remain relevant", and that is/was my standard.

On my deathbed, I'll have no problem turning my head and remembering how happy Arthur Dent makes me, or how awesome it was to peg a high B natural in perfect tone.
   96. gef the talking mongoose Posted: February 23, 2012 at 11:43 AM (#4066955)
I have the most famous baseball number


714?

for the non-baseball reason


You're a gigantic Dragnet fan?

   97. gef the talking mongoose Posted: February 23, 2012 at 11:44 AM (#4066956)
I'll have no problem turning my head and remembering how happy Arthur Dent makes me,


Oh. Something to do with Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Wikipedia tells me.
   98. jacksone (AKA It's OK...) Posted: February 23, 2012 at 11:50 AM (#4066961)
MTV Generation

Topical. I think a lot of the people talking here are misjudging the age of people with tattoos. Sure there are younger (late-teens to mid-twenties) idiots getting dumb tattoos, I am not going to argue that, but a lot of older people either have them (and are quite happy with them) or are getting them. Also, if someone wants to get something like an arm sleeve or neck tattoo and show it off, why would you automatically judge them and assume they are less than capable or somehow not apt to work hard or be dependable?

Plus, since they are constantly trying to heal, they generate large amounts of ooze and pus and stink unmercifully.


If the ear is generating large amounts of ooze and pus then they are not doing it right. There may be slight cracking and crusting, but ooze and pus is definitely a sign of infection.
   99. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: February 23, 2012 at 11:54 AM (#4066962)
The speech is by Teddy.


D'OH. I actually knew that. Must need more coffee.

And Teddy is even more awesome than FDR.
   100. Ben Broussard Ramjet Posted: February 23, 2012 at 12:13 PM (#4066972)
Even if you do it as a form of art - why make your body into a canvas? Why not wear clothes with art painted on?


I have zero tattoos, but surely that works out more expensive than a tattoo in the long run? Clothes wear out; tattoos fade a bit, but the 'permanent' label is still pretty accurate, no?

I think one's body would be a canvas in the event that you wanted to make a permanent commitment to an ideal, a person, a place, that requires more than dropping a few dollars on something disposable and temporary. I've worn clothes with the names of places I've never been or sports teams I've never seen, because what the heck, it was cheap and I needed to gird my body with something. I probably should just have gone with the Dinosaur Comics' "THERE. Now I'm not naked any more" shirt instead, but . . .

People chose designs or statements on their clothes for reasons other than a permanent commitment to something. Think of how many non-Yankee fans wear 'NYY' hats! A tattoo is pretty much an unmistakably deliberate statement, so it has utility as a form of communication, if that's a statement one wishes to make.
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