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Sunday, August 19, 2012

The Daily News uncovers bizarre plot by Melky Cabrera to use fake website and duck drug suspension

A Levinson link mystery if ever!

In a bizarre attempt to avoid a 50-game drug suspension, San Francisco Giants star Melky Cabrera created a fictitious website and a nonexistent product designed to prove he inadvertently took the banned substance that caused a positive test under Major League Baseball’s drug program.

But instead of exonerating Cabrera of steroid use, the Internet stunt trapped him in a web of lies. Amid the information-gathering phase of his doping case last month, his cover story unraveled quickly, and what might have been a simple suspension has attracted further attention from federal investigators and MLB, the Daily News has learned.

Famed steroid cop Jeff Novitzky, a criminal investigative agent for the Food & Drug Administration), and agents from MLB’s Department of Investigation have begun looking into Cabrera’s associates and his entourage, including trainers, handlers and agents, as they search for the source of the synthetic testosterone that appeared in a sample of the All-Star Game MVP’s urine.

...As the website alibi imploded, so did Cabrera’s hopes of getting off and leading the Giants to the World Series. Once a candidate for the National League’s MVP award, Cabrera is now serving the 50-game suspension and has exposed his associates to scrutiny from Novitzky, who uncovered the BALCO doping ring and Kirk Radomski’s steroid distribution network, and other investigators.

According to Seth Levinson, the agents hired the Spanish-speaking Nunez to help them obtain and deal with their Dominican clients, including Cabrera. On Saturday, Levinson distanced himself and his brother from Nunez.

“Juan Nunez is NOT a salaried employee of ACES and does NOT receive the benefits that all ACES employees receive,” Levinson said. “Most importantly, any and all calls, texts and emails that he sends come from his own PERSONAL devices (BlackBerry).”

Repoz Posted: August 19, 2012 at 07:57 AM | 139 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: giants, steroids

Reader Comments and Retorts

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   1. asinwreck Posted: August 19, 2012 at 08:56 AM (#4211782)
Maybe this is the baseball story Steven Soderbergh can turn into a film.
   2. bfan Posted: August 19, 2012 at 08:59 AM (#4211785)
If this is true, then 50 games is too light. This is fraud (or it would be, if he were smart enough to have made it succeed).
   3. Swedish Chef Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:00 AM (#4211787)
Who needs the Onion when reality is like this?
   4. jack the seal clubber (on the sidelines of life) Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:00 AM (#4211788)
So much for the people praising him for "manning up and telling the truth". Well, once he had no other options, anyway.
   5. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:05 AM (#4211792)
Ha! This is kind of awesome. I wished I'd had access to this kind of fabrication when I broke the livingroom window when I was 6.
   6. bfan Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:05 AM (#4211793)
Yes, our understanding of honorably telling the truth today can be pretty funny; you tell the truth about what they can absolutely prove against you, and lie about everything else.

As in John Edwards "I have no relationship with Reilly Edwards; that is simply not true" (then photos of the 2 of them emerge).

"I will come clean; I had a relationship with her, but that child is not mine" (until the DNA tests prove otherwise).

"It is time for me to come clean with the american public." Yeah, right.
   7. Chip Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:06 AM (#4211794)
Daily News uncovers bizarre plot" or "Jeff Novitsky leaks investigation details that once again paint him as hero of story"?
   8. Best Regards, President of Comfort, Esq. Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:16 AM (#4211797)
"Jeff Novitsky leaks investigation details that once again paint him as hero of story"?
A five years from now, and $5 million in taxpayer money later, Melky Cabrera leaves court with probation.
   9. Bob Tufts Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:21 AM (#4211801)
The NYDN is experienced in dealing with made up stories - they have Mike Lupica's columns as a guide.

   10. bfan Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:33 AM (#4211808)
A five years from now, and $5 million in taxpayer money later, Melky Cabrera leaves court with probation.


Just so I understand, because the attempted fraud was against MLB, MLB should just be able to handle it as they see fit, and they see fit with a suspension. Is that the analysis here?
   11. cercopithecus aethiops Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:35 AM (#4211809)
Since when is lying on the internet a crime?
   12. Mess with the Meat, you get the Wad! Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:35 AM (#4211810)
I feel like anything involving nowitsky is going to be a waste of time. So if im melky i wouldnt worry too much
   13. Mess with the Meat, you get the Wad! Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:36 AM (#4211811)
Bfan its more of the fact that nowitsky was on a witch hunt that lead no where in the bonds case
   14. Joey B.: posting for the kids of northeast Ohio Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:37 AM (#4211812)
Yes, our understanding of honorably telling the truth today can be pretty funny; you tell the truth about what they can absolutely prove against you, and lie about everything else.

Yes, sadly that's a perfect summary of the New Age in a nutshell. And then of course you get up onto a stage and declare "I made a mistake", a meaningless bunch of psychobabble pablum, after your defense lawyer and a couple of P.R. people have spent a few hours with you training you in the art of how to appear appropriately contrite for the cameras.

Yeah, right. "Mistake" my behind. I'll bet that the poor Melkman is truly, deeply sincere and sorry and contrite over what he did and the idea of going right back and breaking the rules all over again would never even cross his mind for a moment.
   15. Howie Menckel Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:42 AM (#4211814)

Hey, it worked for Andy Pettitte - twice - so don't knock it.
   16. shoewizard Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:48 AM (#4211815)
So much for the people praising him for "manning up and telling the truth". Well, once he had no other options, anyway.


Well, I was one of those people. Yes, I was duped. I always try to see the good in people, even when they have done something wrong. Obviously my prior sentiment towards Melky is withdrawn as it relates to this matter.
   17. cercopithecus aethiops Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:56 AM (#4211816)
I always try to see the good in people, even when they have done something wrong.


History's greatest monster.
   18. They paved Misirlou, put up a parking lot Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:57 AM (#4211817)
And then of course you get up onto a stage and declare "I made a mistake", a meaningless bunch of psychobabble pablum,


Or the even worse "mistakes were made".
   19. AndrewJ Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:04 AM (#4211819)
Since when is lying on the internet a crime?

"Is it a crime to bet on sporting events?!?!"
   20. Gonfalon B. Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:11 AM (#4211821)
I don't know how to interpret a Daily News steroids story that doesn't include a gratuitous swipe at Roger Clemens' shyster lawyer and his snake oil case.
   21. Bourbon Samurai in Asia Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:15 AM (#4211824)
Since when is lying on the internet a crime?


It is time to come clean with the BBTF public.

I am not a samurai.
   22. Randy Jones Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:34 AM (#4211832)
Remember when I told you that I was a samurai?
Well the fact of the matter is, that was a lie
There were some other things that I'd rather not recall
Y'all can blame it all on the alcohol
   23. Lassus Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:38 AM (#4211834)
It is time to come clean with the BBTF public. I am not a samurai.

I am, however, a four-hundred-eighty-two-year-old Flemish composer.
   24. SoSH U at work Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:40 AM (#4211836)

It is time to come clean with the BBTF public.

I am not a samurai.


Great. Now I'm wondering about Gef's bona fides...
   25. Swedish Chef Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:42 AM (#4211837)
I have no comments on any questions about my muppet status.
   26. Dale Sams Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:48 AM (#4211839)
Read my lips, I *Am* Dale Sams.

Billy Jean is not my lover
She's just a girl who
says that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
   27. A big pile of nonsense (gef the talking mongoose) Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:48 AM (#4211840)
Great. Now I'm wondering about Gef's bona fides...


Weeeellllll ... my name may not actually be gef. That's as far as I'll go.
   28. Howie Menckel Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:52 AM (#4211841)

And my name isn't Howie.
   29. Gonfalon B. Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:54 AM (#4211843)
I am Sasha Fierce, but it's pronounced Throatwobbler Mangrove.
   30. They paved Misirlou, put up a parking lot Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:54 AM (#4211844)
It is time to come clean with the BBTF public.

I am not a samurai.


I don't even own a vest.
   31. something like a train wreck Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:56 AM (#4211845)
There's an underwear gnomes aspect to all of this. Was the next step to soak a bottle of One a Day's in steroids, slap on a fake label and submit it?
   32. Barnaby Jones Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:00 AM (#4211846)
I must confess, I've never ordered milk.
   33. A big pile of nonsense (gef the talking mongoose) Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:01 AM (#4211847)
And my name isn't Howie.


But ... but I named my oldest cat after you! I'm crushed -- & so is he!

(Actually, I named him after Howard Phillips Lovecraft. But still.)
   34. cercopithecus aethiops Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:02 AM (#4211849)
Since I started this, I suppose I need to come clean as well. I have not been entirely forthcoming about my taxonomy. You have no idea what it was like growing up a Papio papio in the '60s.
   35. Dan Szymborski Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:12 AM (#4211855)
I'm actually Daniel John Szymborski.
   36. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:12 AM (#4211856)
There are no biscuits in my eyeline right now.
   37. Pleasant Nate (Upgraded from 'Nate') Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:20 AM (#4211861)
In the spirit of the moment, I will come clean. I don't actually like baseball, the thinking fan, or any of you. Visiting BTF was a ruse to cover up my true love, synchronized hot tub snorkeling. Yet to be corrupted by the Olympic machine, PEDs, or even the casual spectator, it is the truest of sports. I am putting my life at risk by coming clean, but it is something I must do. Mistakes have been made, and I am deeply sorry for my visiting of BTF. I am a changed man, that you can count on.
   38. McCoy Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:22 AM (#4211864)
I think the overlooked thing on this is that a player failed a drug test and a government agent is now investigating where he got it. If that doesn't pull a chill down the union's spine I don't know what is.
   39. Poster Nutbag Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:28 AM (#4211871)
I am both a Poster, and a Nutbag. Carry on...(while I go make a website to prove all of this!)
   40. The John Wetland Memorial Death (CoB) Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:36 AM (#4211877)
I am both a Poster, and a Nutbag. Carry on...(while I go make a website to prove all of this!)


Yes, but are you also ... a cat?
   41. cardsfanboy Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:38 AM (#4211878)
Well, I was one of those people. Yes, I was duped. I always try to see the good in people, even when they have done something wrong. Obviously my prior sentiment towards Melky is withdrawn as it relates to this matter.


I'm another who believes as you, but I'm not going to withdraw my sentiment entirely. He still came clean and admitted it, regardless of the pressure, that is better than other guys who have 90%+ of the evidence against them and still try to deny it. Considering that MLB doesn't release any more information on the suspension except type of drug, it would have been easy for him to pull a 1. it was a one time thing 2. inadvertent usage defense 3. the courier set me up defense that so many others have done. The fact that he tried to defend himself unethically/immorally doesn't take away that he is manning up now.

If you are a hard core and consider roids to be something that the players should avoid, then the website is just another in a string of the original crime in my mind.

Edit: I am neither a card, or a fan....and if your definition of boy is includes an age based component, I more likely am not one of those either.

I think the overlooked thing on this is that a player failed a drug test and a government agent is now investigating where he got it. If that doesn't pull a chill down the union's spine I don't know what is.


Yep that is the chilling part. I mean I know the govmint can do that, but it does seem to be crossing a line.
   42. The District Attorney Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:41 AM (#4211881)
MY SON IS NOT THE SON OF THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY!!!!!!!!!!
   43. Slivers of Maranville descends into chaos (SdeB) Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:43 AM (#4211882)
"Is it a crime to bet on sporting events?!?!"


"Besides, it's a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe."
   44. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:46 AM (#4211885)
Yes, sadly that's a perfect summary of the New Age in a nutshell. And then of course you get up onto a stage and declare "I made a mistake", a meaningless bunch of psychobabble pablum, after your defense lawyer and a couple of P.R. people have spent a few hours with you training you in the art of how to appear appropriately contrite for the cameras.

"The New Age"? What is this, 1980? I think it's more likely that people making these weasely public statements are doing it for legalistic reasons, not out of some sort of moral relativism.

There have always been people caught in compromising situations who think the rules don't apply to them. In the past they were encouraged to throw themselves on the mercy of others. Now they are encouraged to never admit complicity or responsibility for anything in public, no matter what they think privately. These are different legal strategies. I agree that the modern one is more destructive.
   45. BFFB Posted: August 19, 2012 at 12:18 PM (#4211912)
Bfan its more of the fact that nowitsky was on a witch hunt that lead no where in the bonds case


I don't think it was a witch hunt so much as he got tunnel vision on trying to nail Bonds for something there just wasn't enough evidence to prove in a court of law.
   46. charityslave is thinking about baseball Posted: August 19, 2012 at 01:03 PM (#4211934)
Ok, ok, I admit it. The only reason I'm thinking about baseball is to postpone my orgasm. What, you guys think about baseball when you're not having sex? Gross.
   47. vortex of dissipation Posted: August 19, 2012 at 01:05 PM (#4211936)
"Besides, it's a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe."


Kawaii!
   48. Depressoteric Posted: August 19, 2012 at 01:16 PM (#4211941)
Confession: I am actually quite mainstream and middlebrow.
   49. KT's Pot Arb Posted: August 19, 2012 at 01:17 PM (#4211942)
Just so I understand, because the attempted fraud was against MLB, MLB should just be able to handle it as they see fit, and they see fit with a suspension. Is that the analysis here?


I think so, but if the testosterone was illegally manufactured/acquired, Melky may have some other issues.

I didn't really see much substance to this allegation, it looks like a handler is taking the fall for it. But in the NFL it seems part of the reason for the draconian penalties against the Falcons was their stone-walling of the initial investigation, and if MLB feels Melky was doing that here they should definitely lengthen the suspension (if the CBA allows). You can't allow rules violators to attempt to thwart investigations without further risk, or you are giving them a free-roll, an incentive to attempt to risklessly thwart the original punishment.
   50. Greg K Posted: August 19, 2012 at 01:18 PM (#4211944)
In the spirit of the moment, I will come clean. I don't actually like baseball, the thinking fan, or any of you. Visiting BTF was a ruse to cover up my true love, synchronized hot tub snorkeling. Yet to be corrupted by the Olympic machine, PEDs, or even the casual spectator, it is the truest of sports. I am putting my life at risk by coming clean, but it is something I must do. Mistakes have been made, and I am deeply sorry for my visiting of BTF. I am a changed man, that you can count on.

It's actually really big in Canada. Though under Canadian rules snorkels are banned.
   51. Pops Freshenmeyer Posted: August 19, 2012 at 02:10 PM (#4211962)
I lived a lie for many years but as of 9 weeks ago, I am, in fact, a Pops.
   52. bfan Posted: August 19, 2012 at 02:16 PM (#4211963)
The fact that he tried to defend himself unethically/immorally doesn't take away that he is manning up now.


I am sorry, but it does. telling the truth after lying for a period, and then only 'fessing up when there is no other remotely credible course of action is not manning up.
   53. Rafael Bellylard: Built like a Panda. Posted: August 19, 2012 at 02:29 PM (#4211967)
I, too, must admit my deception. I am not built like a Molina, but like a Fielder.

I shall now console myself with some Mountain Dew and a cheesecake.
   54. RMc's desperate, often sordid world Posted: August 19, 2012 at 02:36 PM (#4211970)
I'm actually fairly indifferent to the MLB event.
   55. Repoz Posted: August 19, 2012 at 02:40 PM (#4211973)
Here's a posey riot from Bruce Jenkins...

(Note: These “reports” come and go, often to be exposed as spectacularly inaccurate. The Daily News’ investigative team is perhaps the most reliable in the newspaper business.)


That Clinches it: No More Melky
   56. The District Attorney Posted: August 19, 2012 at 03:08 PM (#4211994)
TFA:
a clause in the collectively bargained drug program... allows a player who has tested positive to attempt to prove he ingested a banned substance through no fault of his own.
Really? This is just begging for shenanigans and BS.

If Melky had gotten the site up before he talked to Andrew Baggarly, would he have received a front-page apology?

BTW, the site actually is up now.

   57. Pat Rapper's Delight Posted: August 19, 2012 at 03:12 PM (#4211998)
In case anyone was still wondering, I am neither Pat Rapp nor am I particularly delightful.
   58. The Long Arm of Rudy Law Posted: August 19, 2012 at 03:47 PM (#4212015)
Since when is lying on the internet a crime?


Since 1912, when I invented the internet and married Morgan Fairchild. And then I kissed her.
   59. My name is Votto, and I love to get blotto Posted: August 19, 2012 at 03:55 PM (#4212019)
I would be delighted to both learn the truth AND see some dingers.
   60. CrosbyBird Posted: August 19, 2012 at 04:47 PM (#4212045)
Wow, I feel left out of the confession parade here. I was in an a cappella group in college called The Crosbys, and my nickname was Bird. So I technically am a Crosby named Bird.

Sometimes the truth is out there and just isn't very interesting.
   61. The District Attorney Posted: August 19, 2012 at 05:06 PM (#4212051)
Wait, you're not this guy?
   62. Darren Posted: August 19, 2012 at 05:07 PM (#4212052)
Apparently Melky was using supplements from a Web site called Jukt Micronutrients.
   63. Jerry Lumpe Rutherford (Dan Lee) Posted: August 19, 2012 at 05:39 PM (#4212078)
Time for me to come clean: I'm a Lillibridge to somewhere.
   64. cercopithecus aethiops Posted: August 19, 2012 at 06:16 PM (#4212099)
So I technically am a Crosby named Bird.


But for all these years you've happily allowed people to think that you are a bird named Crosby. Liar!
   65. Walt Davis Posted: August 19, 2012 at 06:24 PM (#4212102)
Confession: I am not actually right about everything.

But the arrogance is real!
   66. nick swisher hygiene Posted: August 19, 2012 at 06:33 PM (#4212104)
I AM NOT A URINAL!
   67. Smitty* Posted: August 19, 2012 at 06:44 PM (#4212110)
I actually like pants
   68. Fancy Pants Handles lap changes with class Posted: August 19, 2012 at 06:54 PM (#4212113)
Great. Now I'm wondering about Gef's bona fides...

Personally, the poster I immediately thought of was God...

As for myself, I feel the need to set the truth free! I am actually not currently wearing any pants. My handle however, is truly tremendous.
   69. Fancy Pants Handles lap changes with class Posted: August 19, 2012 at 06:55 PM (#4212114)
I actually like pants

Thank you, that means a lot. *sniff*
   70. Fred Lynn Nolan Ryan Sweeney Agonistes Posted: August 19, 2012 at 07:06 PM (#4212115)
Through BTF comments I come and go
Names merely ballplayer portmanteau
   71. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: August 19, 2012 at 07:13 PM (#4212119)
I do get past Jeter a lot, but (truth be told) he never dives for me

(nor do I get gift baskets)
   72. Non-Youkilidian Geometry Posted: August 19, 2012 at 07:15 PM (#4212120)
I have to come clean as well. Two lines perpendicular to a third line that are extended to infinity will not really intersect with Kevin Youkilis.
   73. God Posted: August 19, 2012 at 07:27 PM (#4212124)
I have nothing to come clean about. Ahem.
   74. cercopithecus aethiops Posted: August 19, 2012 at 07:34 PM (#4212127)
Two lines perpendicular to a third line that are extended to infinity will not really intersect with Kevin Youkilis.


Sorry, not buying it. Every line eventually intersects the head of Kevin Youkilis.
   75. Bob Tufts Posted: August 19, 2012 at 07:50 PM (#4212133)
I'm actually Win Remmerswaal
   76. A big pile of nonsense (gef the talking mongoose) Posted: August 19, 2012 at 07:55 PM (#4212136)
I actually like pants


Is there nothing we can believe in anymore?
   77. Pleasant Nate (Upgraded from 'Nate') Posted: August 19, 2012 at 07:58 PM (#4212137)
This thread keeps getting better. 67/76 I thought would win the thread, but 72/74 may have topped it. Keep going!
   78. Pleasant Nate (Upgraded from 'Nate') Posted: August 19, 2012 at 08:01 PM (#4212140)
I actually like pants


To what extent? Like, wear pajama pants to bed like pants, or wear jeans in the summer like pants? I'm just trying to determine the appropriate reaction: terror or pandemonium.
   79. Swoboda is freedom Posted: August 19, 2012 at 08:01 PM (#4212142)
Apparently Melky was using supplements from a Web site called Jukt Micronutrients.

The investigator was initially suspicious when the company owner was Vandalay Industries.


PS I am not Swoboda, nor am I free.
   80. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: August 19, 2012 at 08:16 PM (#4212148)
I am neither a belligerent breakfast cereal nor a black man in 18th-century Massachusetts.
   81. Smitty* Posted: August 19, 2012 at 08:18 PM (#4212151)
Jeans even in the pool
   82. The District Attorney Posted: August 19, 2012 at 08:25 PM (#4212155)
Sweet Jesus.
   83. A big pile of nonsense (gef the talking mongoose) Posted: August 19, 2012 at 08:32 PM (#4212163)
Well, in fariness, Smitty* has always asked if we hate pants. He hasn't actually said he does.

OK, OK, I admit it: I'm clutching at straws here even as my world collapses around me ...
   84. A triple short of the cycle Posted: August 19, 2012 at 08:45 PM (#4212168)
In my softball game this week, my only hit was a triple.
   85. Josh1 Posted: August 19, 2012 at 08:56 PM (#4212173)
If I had really been the first Josh to register on this site, I would have just taken the handle "Josh".
   86. Smitty* Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:13 PM (#4212185)
Thanks guys for letting me get this off my chest....er......on my legs.

Oh, and don't you like pants?
   87. Smitty* Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:21 PM (#4212190)
Oh, and one more thing. I called Jim Edmonds earlier (for some reason he only picks up right before it goes to voicemail). He told me he wanted me to tell you guys that he has something to come clean about as well. For his first 8 years in the majors he thought a fly ball to the outfield was an out if it was caught while diving.
   88. Mess with the Meat, you get the Wad! Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:24 PM (#4212193)
I do not know how to meatwad
   89. The District Attorney Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:33 PM (#4212200)
Oh, and don't you like pants?
*frantically searches for "Ignore" button*
   90. Pleasant Nate (Upgraded from 'Nate') Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:41 PM (#4212206)
I do not know how to meatwad


So what is it, veggiewad?
   91. Los Angeles El Hombre of Anaheim Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:00 PM (#4212213)
I do not live in Los Angeles, nor do I hail from Anaheim.
I am not latin, and I do not speak Spanish.
I am not male.
I hate pants.

Everything is a lie!
   92. Fancy Pants Handles lap changes with class Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:12 PM (#4212218)
88. let me teach you how to meatwad Posted: August 19, 2012 at 09:24 PM (#4212193)
I do not know how to meatwad

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.
   93. Poster Nutbag Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:36 PM (#4212225)
Yes, but are you also ... a cat?


Are you Jimmy?....or that filthy mutt?
   94. Depressoteric Posted: August 19, 2012 at 10:36 PM (#4212226)
By the way, we all really are underplaying the extent to which this Melky Cabrera scandal is absofuckinglutely insane at this point.

I mean, this isn't a "did he or didn't he?" thing anymore. This is a straight-up clownshoes conspiratorial attempt at deception here. And I have no reason not to believe it's true.
   95. PASTE Thinks This Trout Kid Might Be OK (Zeth) Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:20 PM (#4212245)
I for one am actually sort of impressed to finally see a player with the balls to just go for the gusto and make no bones about his intentions to cheat for money. That or a lack of enough intelligence to cover his tracks properly. One or the other. But still.

And for the record, PASTE is really, truly unimpressed by Joey Votto.
   96. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:36 PM (#4212256)
Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

a few of us can do both--I can do and I can teach (and I suppose I can teach you to doo-doo)
   97. BochysFingers Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:45 PM (#4212261)
I am not Bruce Bochy, nor his fingers, but I do have fingers.

Didn't RTFA, but put a dollar down for me on "the fabrication story is a lie".
   98. Chris Needham Posted: August 19, 2012 at 11:58 PM (#4212266)
I don't even particularly like ham.
   99. Squash Posted: August 20, 2012 at 12:07 AM (#4212269)
I yam what I yam. Screw you guys.
   100. Mess with the Meat, you get the Wad! Posted: August 20, 2012 at 01:03 AM (#4212282)
I did not have sexual.relations with that woman.
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