Dear Tommy John Letters: Spring Pranking

I’m more than happy to get the opportunity to face hitters, but their is one downside to their arrival: with the additional players, the hotel internet has slowed from a crawl to… something that’s even slower than a crawl. It’s not always easy to come up with productive uses of our free time, but one player has actually used the faulty internet connection to his advantage.
This unnamed player has developed an elaborate script for a prank call that has yielded some pretty funny responses.
He begins by calling a random player on his hotel phone line. He then explains that the slow internet is a result of a virus that has infected the network and possibly his computer. The only way to cure the network is to find the computer that is seeding the virus and remove it. Finally, he explains that he is calling this particular room because their computers have been flagged as threats due to recent activity. He then rattles off 5 or 6 very provocatively named pornography sites that may be the source of the problem.
The player always denies any wrongdoing - and because the caller knows nothing of the player’s actual internet usage, it is probably a safe assumption that he is being truthful (at least with regards to the 5 or 6 named sites). So, the caller quickly concedes that player’s roommate is probably the culprit. If the roommate is available, he then asks to speak with him and goes through the entire conversation all over again.
Now you have two guys (who usually don’t not know each other very well), each thinking that their roommate is visiting some pretty disturbing sounding websites. They are asked to bring their computers down to the front desk for a virus scan. The funny thing is, they are so desperate to prove their innocence that they usually comply. That’s where the are greeted by the caller and they are let in on the joke.
Good stuff.