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Baseball Primer Newsblog— The Best News Links from the Baseball Newsstand
Monday, June 22, 2009
Filling the air with pure thuribulum goodness…the latest from Sam.
We follow that septic sludge with Bud Selig’s most joyous #### you to Atlanta fans, our yearly parade of soul-grindingly annoying fans from the NEC. Three games of transplanted Yankee fans soiling the seats of our fair grounds, followed immediately by an equal dose of their paternal twins from Boston. Oh, joyous day. How can we, the unworthy denizens of Atlanta ever thank you Mr. Selig? If not for your ever-brilliant notion of making the World Series essentially meaningless by playing the leagues against one another in the middle of the summer we’d never have the chance to see all of the loud, obnoxious sprawl-eating invaders gathered together in one place like this! You’re the best.
I hate interleague play. I hate people who think a baseball stadium full of families is the proper place to get drunk and moan “Yoooouuuuuuk” like a water buffalo in heat. I hate anyone who thinks Derek Jeter deserves anything more than a good garroting. All of which pales as shadow compared to the burning summer sun that is my hatred for the man who unleashed this unholy calvacade upon us.
[sigh]
At least we get a “break” with Philly in town before the Mets faithful storm in from the upper ‘burbs and add a layer of self-loathing and little brother syndrone on top of the class and gentility we’d otherwise expect this week.
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The exceptions are when the "Kiss Cam" is on, or the signs in the park tell everyone to temporarily impersonate Florida State football fans. Then the crowd really gets into it!
Hey, I laughed!
How are you today Sally?
SALLY:
I'm mad. I'm mad at the whole world.
SCHROEDER:
Are you mad at everybody in the whole world?
SALLY:
I'm mad at everybody.
SCHROEDER:
Are you mad at all the animals, and the birds and the fish? How 'bout all the trees and the flowers?
SALLY:
I'm mad at them too. I'm mad at everything.
SCHROEDER:
Are you mad at the sky and the stars? Are you mad at the ground? Are you mad at all the rocks? Are you mad at cars and buildings, and TV, and circuses, and roller skates and bracelets?
SALLY:
You didn't mention jump ropes!
SCHROEDER:
Are you mad at jump ropes?
SALLY:
I'm especially mad at stupid jump ropes! (she then pull the jump rope all the way out and it's all knotted up.)
Well objectively, that is true, since post-season games are more fun.
This, from the poster who emphatically stated in another thread today he wanted to stab an umpire in the neck. Repeatedly.
I'm beginning to enjoy your work, Sam, in spite of myself.
This, from the poster who emphatically stated in another thread today he wanted to stab an umpire in the neck. Repeatedly.
What does one thing have to do with the other?
I thought that would link to Mad Max of "John Boy and Billy" fame.
Again, for clarity, I stated repeatedly that I wanted to stab him in the neck, not that I wanted to stab him in the neck repeatedly. Totally different image.
No cussin' allowed y'all.
There's no need to go there, Hubie. That's just mean.
I'll bet you meant to type kittens there, you monster.
If I were to come into Atlanta from out of state to see Frenchy, which airline do you think he'd recommend?
Tangentially, I also kind of detest people who move from one city to another, then won't shut up about how much they hate their new city, which is kind of the tone I get from the fans Sam describes. I mean, sure, I hate pretty much all Chicago sports franchises, but I love Chicago.
Yes! Attention transplanted Californians: if you don't like the way Portlanders drive (and yes, we are terrible drivers) you have two choices: shut the #### up, or go the #### back to California.
Californians can't ##### about anybody's driving.
If home team fans can't drown out the cheers of visiting team fans, they have only their fellow home team fans to blame.
The problem, of course, being the manner in which NEC fans have been taught to "cheer."
So you root for the home team if you take in a Braves road game while on vacation, right?
It's the people who have no connection with, for example, Boston, other than going there one time and really liking the city, so now they're Red Sox fans.
Serious question: do people really meet a significant number of people who meet this definition of bandwagon fans? Because the ones I run across -- be they Red Sox, Yankees, Braves or pretty much any other successful team -- tend to be much more of the ilk that *does* have a connection, but they didn't really care or pay attention until the team got good.
What, did they not answer the call of "everybody clap your hands"?
Serious question: do people really meet a significant number of people who meet this definition of bandwagon fans? Because the ones I run across -- be they Red Sox, Yankees, Braves or pretty much any other successful team -- tend to be much more of the ilk that *does* have a connection, but they didn't really care or pay attention until the team got good.
I met several Braves fans that had no connection to the Braves during their heyday. Outside of that, not really, as mentioned in other threads I've barely ever met a Red Sox fan of any type, and almost all Yankee fans I met have a connection, and generally speaking only the Cubs have I met fans who had no connection to the team.
isn't that kind of a myth, didn't Atlanta sell out post season series early on in their run, but after a few years the first round would not sell out.
So how is that a myth?
well they did sell out for a while, but then the fans got tired of them so it's not like they couldn't sell out or didn't sell out just that the fans wanted better performance.
mind you, I still find that as reason to insult them, but I've been attacked plenty of times by Braves fan for repeating this that I figured I should just throw it out there.
On the flip side, as much as I don't buy the whole "best fans in baseball" thing, I feel as though I've met more nice Cardinals fans than those of any other team.
They could, but they'd rather just shoot you.
Give no quarter and ask for none! That sort of carping on their part just means you're getting to them. Now, do you want to wake up some morning in a Smoltz jersey with what's left of your dignity sitting in a wastebin staring at you disgustedly? Or are you gonna fight? And are you gonna win?
My body would spontaneously combust if I ever put on a non-cardinal shirt. The only thing that would be good about wearing a Smoltz/Glavine/Maddux jersey is it gives you free reign to miss the toilet by 6 inches and call it in.
I hate families who think a baseball stadium full of drunks is the proper place to bring their kids and expect a wholesome atmosphere.
I've lived in Portland, Los Angeles, Seattle, San Francisco, Manhattan, and Denver and have traveled extensively to Miami, Boston, Chicago and also gone back and forth across the country in my car as repeatedly as Sam said he wants to get all stabby.
So, believe me when I say from extensive experience that you are indeed right Adam. Portlanders are terrible drivers. But they are even more than that. They are, without question, the worst drivers in the entire country, bar none.
Any disagreement of this fact is simply incorrect.
it was mighty cool in october, 2006. And was pretty cool tonight. Thanks, braves, now win a couple more.
Isn't this misleading since they probably played more playoff games in the 90's then anyone one else?
Only a Cardinal fan would be so eager to piss on his bathroom floor that he would don a Braves jersey just for the opportunity to do so.
But seriously, I don't quite see what one much has to do with the other.
Any disagreement of this fact is simply incorrect.
I lived in Salem. We weren't in Portland enough for me to claim detailed minutiatic (word coined) things about Portland drivers, but I remember enough to know that Austin drivers give them a damn good run for their money, and for the exact same reasons.
No problem! I'm here to help. Are you having trouble recalling that Southerners love to tell the rest of the country that they're better behaved and nicer than the rest of us--more decorous, if you will--or trouble wrapping your head around the idea that cross burning is a breach of decorum?
Pot?
Let's see: Sam Hutcheson is the straight one who seems to be the last surviving fan of the Atlanta Braves, and Sam M is the gay one who loves the Mets. Too bad they can't take over PTI for a week. Their first topic could be a sartorial critique of the size XXL Derek Jeter jersey.
Oh, neither. I'd disagree with the volume of the former that you seem to perceive, but that's beside the point. The two have nothing to do with one another. This columnist writing that Yankee fans are boorish has literally zero to do with cross-burnings perpetrated dozens or hundreds of miles and years away by other people. People in the North owned slaves, does that mean everyone in the country is disallowed from mentioning another's decorum or lack thereof? That's no big loss, but it'd be for a pretty ####### stupid reason.
And its long-term effects, yes.
That's all I ask for.
I can attest to that. I know a lot of southerners. We're all about the neck-stabbing these days.
But they have boiled peanuts. I say nuke everything south of Springfield, Illinois and East of Fresno, California.
I'm with Shooty on this one. Nuke the whole place.
Give them time.
See, now right when I go on about how we don't lynch much any more you go and give the boys a perfectly good reason to lynch you. The f*ck's wong with you, son? God hisownself eats grits with a side of buscuits and buttermilk gravy for breakfast. Don't you let nobody tell you different. And yes, chil'ren, God hisownself takes sausage bits in his gravy too. Pork sausage bits. 'Cause pig tastes good.
I live in (but am not, god forbid, a native of ... Arkansas uber alles!) Alabama but don't know that song. I'll be playing that one when my office mate lives for lunch.
I'm all for stereotyping Southerners, but you can't argue with that fact that they can cook.
It's hard for the unwashed hippies to drive what with the sea of unwashed hippies crowding up the road with thier little tricycles and ####. What you guys need is a hippie de-infestation professional. Drive those little rodents back into the forests.
You can lynch me if you can catch me fatboy!
If you keep throwing different kinds of fat into food you're bound to make it taste good.
I'll agree that they can cook. I just disagree with what they choose to cook (says the guy from the country obsessed with poutine).
Ex-f*cking-actly. Yes, we sort of deprived and entire people of their humanity for, like, a century or two. But in return, they taught us how to turn bland English food into something not only edible, but pleasurable. Also, you know, MLK. From Atlanta. Just 'cause he's black don't mean he ain't one of ours.
Shooty. You are aware that I am from the south, right? Born and raised, even. You realize I have like, 12 firearms at any given time. Right?
That's all right. I'm from Hayward, California so I'm pretty sure I'm impervious to bullets or I'd already be dead.
How are you today Sally?
SALLY:
I'm mad. I'm mad at the whole world.
Back in the day whe "Peanuts" was a fantastic comic strip.
In some semblance of seriousness, the reason southern cooking is so good is because we have access to vine-fresh produce year round. The reason Canadia is obssessed with poutine is because cheese curd is the only thing you can get to grow in that God forsaken wasteland. Move to a climate God doesn't hate and we'll teach you how to eat.
In all honesty, leave the keyboard & the a/c & go outside for a minute, Sam. I can't speak for the Atlanta area, but right now I'm pretty sure God is rather peeved at us over here in Montgomery.
This could not be more wrongheaded. You're supposed to defenestrate your favorite team just because your job/spouse/meanderings took you to some new town? That's rank, weak-willed assimilation, and that's the hallmark of a wuss. I'm a lifelong Cards fan who now lives a mile-and-a-half from Wrigley. Line me up against the wall before I join the other side.
With that said, yes, visiting fans should be polite and deferential, and post-2004 Sox fans are a blight upon the land.
It's easy to be an A's fan in New York. Everyone thinks it's cute.
Uh...no. As it is past 7AM, no.
95 with a heat index of 100+? That's the weather we had in Atlanta last week.
EDIT: As someone born in Clarksville, Tennessee - yes, it's very much the South.
God's love is very much like a sweaty hug from a very large auntie.
God's love is very much like a sweaty hug from a very large auntie.
Jeez, I'll take the icy cold inner most circle of hell that is Canada then, thanks.
To Scoma's!
Yet more validity in my atheism!
I'm from the north, so take whatever hate of the heat you have and multiply it by oh, 100 and that's kind of how I feel about this weather.
I dunno. Never been there, but it's a stone's throw from a border state, which is really, really pushing it. I mean, apparently it's actually farther north than Fayetteville, Ark., & people from those parts aren't really Southerners, of course -- they're hillbillies.
I'm taking the matter under advisement.
I think you answered your own question.
If we're going to be technically historical about it, anyone wants to give the south #### about lynching needs to rent "1776" and listen quite closely to "Molasses to Rum."
Depends on the border state. In this case Kentucky is definitely in. Delaware, Missourie and West Virginia are out. Maryland is a big maybe but slips in for the most part.
Of course, Florida is right out.
Are there Waffle Houses there?
A better distinguisher: do you have Krystals or White Castles?
My sister lived in Clarksville for 5 years in the 80s. She felt totally unaccepted, claiming that when someone introduced her to a new person, she was introduced with a "This is Mary. She's a Yankee, you know." She knew it was time to leave when she started saying "Y'all" reflexsively. (I don't think she really wanted to go in the first place. Her hubby got a nice job down there; my sister did manage to get an IT degree from Austin Peay, so there was some benefit for her).
My son just started a job selling insurance in the rural parts around Richmond, VA. He just graduated from Wm. & Mary so he's been in the area for 4 years. I asked him is he is saying "Y'all" yet and he replied "Just for effect, for now."
BTW, I heard an interview with Mickey Dolenz recently who stated that the Clarksville of the "Last Train To Clarksville" was indeed Clarksville, TN. I had always wondered about that but could never confirm it.
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