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1. The District Attorney Posted: August 22, 2012 at 10:04 PM (#4215341)I know, it seems like he's been obnoxious enough for at least 8 decades.
You must be watching a different Derek Jeter than the rest of us. Check your numbers, partner.
It's likely that only a handful of people (if that) remember the column in question, so my attempt at a Bayless parody in my last post probably just made me look like an uninformed idiot.
No, I remembered it and I knew what you were going for. So that didn't make you look like an uninformed idiot.
It must have been something else.
General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.
General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.
I didn't remember the column, but I'm glad to know you aren't an uninformed idiot. :-)
Jus' trollin', don't mind me.
And now goddamned Skip Bayless has to go screw that up, ruining my theoretical fun, because it would mean that HE was right, and who can find any joy in that? #######.
I didn't think his IQ was that high, maybe he has been illegally experimenting with Krell Brain Boost Technology?
And please think of the children. Kids growing up and following baseball obviously have a much better chance to become sports writers than the next HOF Yankee shortstop. Maybe Bayless is clean, but he should have to prove it.
*Though Bartolo Colon should be the final nail in the coffin for people who think they can tell who's using by looking at them.
I wish I could agree with this view, but Skip must be doing something right: His stature at ESPN has never been higher.
Who would have thought that letting Screamin' A. Smith beat the snot out of you every day would be such a great career move?
ESPN is owned by the Disney Company. Rumor has it that Skip is the illegitimate love child of Goofy and Daisy Duck. So they have to be nice to him.
The fact that these two are brothers just blows my mind.
There's no reason to believe that Jeter is and has been uniquely immune from the PED temptation. None.
Well, except for the lack of any evidence of PED use. Sure, except for that.
How is that unique? As in "uniquely immune."
Has anyone, prior to SugarBear's comment, ever claim that Jeter was uniquely immune from PED temptation? It seems he's pretty much on equal footing with the host of players who have been assumed clean, a list that includes the great and crappy of all ages and ethnicities.
No, this is a small list and doesn't include that many great players. And it's not just 'assumed' clean, it is proclaimed clean.
I thought you were joking. Despite the same last name, not in a million years would I think those two are related.
It's implicit in the fanboy reverence (*) and likely has been suggested explicitly.
Bayless's "offense" is seen as more significant because it concerned Jeter.
(*) See, e.g., the thread from a couple days ago attached to TFA that advocated Jeter being the first unanimous HOFer, even though the steroid "taint" applied to Bagwell applies equally, if not more forcefully, to Jeter. Jeter has played with an inordinate number of roiders and for a confirmed roid-enabling organization.
How is Jeter's PED reputation any different than the PED determinations about Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine, Pedro Martinez, Ken Griffey Jr., Craig Biggio, Roberto Alomar, Barry Larkin, Omar Vizquel, Frank Thomas, Tony Gwynn, Cal Ripken, CC Sabathia, Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, etc.? There are scores of great players that, like Jeter, have been determined to be clean. Obviously, it's illogical to make such a determination about any of them, but the idea that Jeter and Jeter alone has been judged and determined clean is absurd.
And I know the Union won't allow that. That's not the point.
Not "judged and determined." Agressively proclaimed. No one goes out of their way to proclaim Craig Biggio's cleanness; they don't say anything one way or another about him. (Which probably isn't entirely true; there's probably someone somewhere who's tied him with Bagwell and suggested he's not clean.)
I don't have anything tangible to back this up, but it is my impression from too much time spent reading/consuming/talking about baseball that Jeter's reputation is different than those guys regarding steroids.
E.G. I think I remember Bill Simmons proclaiming at least once that Jeter was the player least likely in the majors to be using, or something like that.
And I'd say the reason you don't have anything tangible is because there's nothing tangible to be found. I'm sure you could find any number of articles about Greg Maddux, for instance, that boldly praised him for doing it the right way in the exact same way such declarations are made about Jeter.
Jeter is discussed more than any of those guys, because he's on the Yankees and won a lot of World Series titles and banged a lot of hotties. But there's nothing special about the proclamations of Jeter's cleanliness.
"Jeter is one of the greatest players in MLB history. He got there through hard work, conditioning and countless hours studying tendencies of big-league pitchers with a vigor similar to the kind Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning applies to his job."
In that list, there are 3 players that I would not find surprising if they tested positive (in a theoretical sense, as some are no longer active). I'd put Jeter in the category of "less likely to use than most MLB players". That's as far as I can go, I would not call any player "uniquely immune". Before he was found out I would have put Pettitte as being just as unlikely as Jeter to try PEDS.
But perhaps that's because I work in NYC where the Jeter worship is at its most sickening
In The Captain, best-selling author Ian O’Connor draws on extensive reporting and unique access to Jeter that has spanned some fifteen years to reveal how a biracial kid from Michigan became New York’s most beloved sports figure and the enduring symbol of the steroid-free athlete.
So in this telling, Jeter isn't merely clean himself, but is the patron saint of and beacon to all clean athletes.
O’Connor calls him “the most respected and beloved figure in the game,” and he leads the league in product endorsements. “He also won the title of patron saint of clean players in an era defined by performance-enhancing drugs.”
So there you have it.
For far too many years, Yankee fans have heard the "rhythmic slapping sounds" of Jeter's glove repeatedly smacking against the grass near three-hoppers up the middle, while no one in a position of power does anything to stop it.
Yup, Ian O'Connor's written handjob is proof positive that Derek Jeter is uniquely immune from PED temptation.
He's seen as being uniquely immune.
People aren't casting Craig Biggio and Barry Larkin as the "patron saint[s] of clean players in an era defined by performance-enhancing drugs."
Soylent Green OTOH...
And if Paul Daugherty or Richard Justice sits down to writes the definitie hagiography of Barry Larkin or Craig Biggio, he likely will.
That's a pretty clever reference!
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