Only thing missing from this pool was an OccuCopter.
And somehow, some way, a team not even remotely associated with this event gets drawn into it. The Yankees. That’s because Willie Bloomquist, in his throws of pool invasion outrage, said that what the Dodgers did was not only classless, but that the Yankees would never do something like it.
I’m sorry, did Bloomquist just cite the Yankees as the benchmark of class? You mean the franchise that harbors baseball’s most epic cheat, a shortstop who sends gift baskets to his booty-calls, and was once owned by a man who got suspended from baseball because of his connections with the Watergate scandal?
Oh, oh, I get what you’re saying-all that stuff is fine because the Yankees would only go swimming during open pool hours. Stop, Sweet Willie, stop. You’d have an easier time convincing me that what the Dodgers did was wrong because they went swimming in a pool with no lifeguard on duty.
For the record, why the hell should the Dodgers listen to an argument that hinges on what the Yankees would do? Do the Diamondbacks-a team that has shaped its image around the four letter word “grit” and smears wet dirt its face post victory-do everything the Yankees do? Is not the point of winning to establish to the whole world, “this is how WE do it?”
So you think the Dodgers are classless. Big deal. You know as well as I do that the definition of class is just another of the ethereal baseball rules that have been around since the dawn of the game but never make it to print, anywhere. You know it’s provincial thing with no gold standard to back it. You know that, by even raising an objection after a disappointing season, you’ve brought your own class under scrutiny. So why sound off at all?
I guess that’s for you to decide, Willie, and you’ll have plenty of time to think about it this off-season, by the pool.