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Thursday, December 20, 2012

ESPN: Cubs get Edwin Jackson for 4 years

The Chicago Cubs and pitcher Edwin Jackson agreed to terms on a four-year, $52 million deal, a source told ESPN’s Jim Bowden on Thursday.

The Cubs added another right-handed pitcher in Carlos Villanueva, who has agreed to a two-year contract, a major league source told ESPNChicago.com’s Bruce Levine. The deal is pending a physical.

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the worst Chicago Cubs team of all time. Your 2013 Chicago Cubs!

McCoy Posted: December 20, 2012 at 06:42 PM | 97 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
Tags: cubs, harry, hector

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1. Hello Rusty Kuntz, Goodbye Rusty Cars Posted: December 20, 2012 at 07:09 PM (#4329666)

If we've learned one thing about Edwin Jackson over the years, it's that he will be traded 42 times during those four years.

2. Spahn Insane Posted: December 20, 2012 at 07:13 PM (#4329668)

The Cubs are in desperate need of pitching cromulence, but four years seems a little excessive.

3. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: December 20, 2012 at 07:18 PM (#4329675)

So, WTF didn't KC beat this? He obviously didn't demand to play for a winner.

4. Spahn Insane Posted: December 20, 2012 at 07:19 PM (#4329676)

The Cubs also apparently got Carlos Villanueva for 2/10. They should certainly have better depth in the rotation than they had last year, whatever that's worth.

5. Fancy Crazy Town Banana Pants Handle Posted: December 20, 2012 at 07:21 PM (#4329678)

So, WTF didn't KC beat this? He obviously didn't demand to play for a winner.

Obviously cause Shields is an ace and EJax ain't.

6. Eugene Freedman

Posted: December 20, 2012 at 07:23 PM (#4329682)

He's been a league average starter with "above average stuff" for 10 years. Last year he was exactly what he is for his career. So, he'll be paid for his stuff rather than his performance.

7. Davo's Favorite Tacos Are Moose Tacos Posted: December 20, 2012 at 07:32 PM (#4329687)

So, WTF didn't KC beat this? He obviously didn't demand to play for a winner.

They have like 9 starting pitchers already.

8. valuearbitrageur Posted: December 20, 2012 at 07:39 PM (#4329691)

So Shields + Davis > EJax + Myers + Odorrozzi + Montgomery + Leonard?

9. Dock Ellis

Posted: December 20, 2012 at 07:41 PM (#4329693)

So, WTF didn't KC beat this? He obviously didn't demand to play for a winner.

IIRC, Edwin turned down 3/30 from the Pirates last year. Not that the Cubs are all that more appealing, but he's already shown he's not going to take the highest offer just because.

Anyway, I will believe this when Edwin actually signs on the dotted line. There have been too many guns that have been jumped concerning the Cubs this offseason.

10. Zonk, Genius of the Stables Posted: December 20, 2012 at 07:43 PM (#4329697)

I liked the other Mike Morgan better...

11. valuearbitrageur Posted: December 20, 2012 at 07:45 PM (#4329698)

IIRC, Edwin turned down 3/30 from the Pirates last year

He turned down a lowball offer from the Pirates. He just signed with adores team than KC because they overpaid.

12. Joyful Calculus Instructor Posted: December 20, 2012 at 07:45 PM (#4329699)

Lol, another $13mil/yr contract.

13. Dock Ellis

Posted: December 20, 2012 at 07:49 PM (#4329702)

He turned down a lowball offer from the Pirates.

How is 3/30 lowball when he eventually signed for 1/11? Sure, the Pirates offered a lower AAV but the guaranteed money was much higher. Or do you mean the Pirates offered much less?

14. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: December 20, 2012 at 07:59 PM (#4329709)

Boy, GMs really must hate knuckleballers.

15. Meatwad Posted: December 20, 2012 at 08:16 PM (#4329718)

So who all do they have as a sp? Garza, BPJ, Wood, Jackson, Villanueva, then who is 5th?

also stewart resigned 1 year 2mil, with 500k in incentives

16. Voros McCracken of Pinkus Posted: December 20, 2012 at 08:30 PM (#4329725)

You mean 6th?

17. f_cking sick and tired of being 57i66135 Posted: December 20, 2012 at 08:30 PM (#4329726)

So, WTF didn't KC beat this? He obviously didn't demand to play for a winner.

would you rather live in chicago or kansas city? both teams may be equally terrible on the field, but if the money's equal, wouldn't you prefer to live in chicago over KC? or in washington instead of pittsburgh?

18. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: December 20, 2012 at 08:30 PM (#4329727)

Boy, GMs really must hate knuckleballers.

Seriously. What are the odds that Jackson puts up more WAR from 2013-2016 than Dickey puts up over 2014-2015?

19. Pops Freshenmeyer Posted: December 20, 2012 at 08:31 PM (#4329728)

Add Baker and Feldman to that list, meat.

The Cubs have some genuine depth on the pitching staff. Now they need to do something about that outfield.

20. Meatwad Posted: December 20, 2012 at 08:46 PM (#4329739)

I don't think Garza makes it to opening day on the cubs roster at this point. with all the sp's they have they might as well trade him now getting as much as you can instead of waiting til the deadline. Arodys Visciano will be active in the second half at some point so thats another sp to add to the mix.

21. Ivan Grushenko of Hong Kong Posted: December 20, 2012 at 09:00 PM (#4329752)

would you rather live in chicago or kansas city? both teams may be equally terrible on the field, but if the money's equal, wouldn't you prefer to live in chicago over KC? or in washington instead of pittsburgh?

No and yes. The Royals would have been more likely to contend in 2013 than the Cubs if they still had Myers and Odorizzi plus Jackson. As a city in which to live, I think I am less impressed with Chicago than just about anyone I know. Clearly the Nats had a better chance to win than the Pirates, although the Pirates hung in there pretty well for a while.

I don't think Garza makes it to opening day on the cubs roster at this point. with all the sp's they have they might as well trade him now getting as much as you can

Doesn't he have to prove he's healthy first?

22. JimMusComp likes Billy Eppler.... Posted: December 20, 2012 at 09:01 PM (#4329753)

The Cubs have some genuine depth on the pitching staff. Now they need to do something about that outfield.

I have a Jerry Dipoto on line 2 about a Vernon Wells.

23. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: December 20, 2012 at 09:08 PM (#4329763)

How is 3/30 lowball when he eventually signed for 1/11? Sure, the Pirates offered a lower AAV but the guaranteed money was much higher.

And he was more interested in maxing out his AAV. Correctly, as the new contract demonstrates.

I'm not sure why so many of my fellow Pirates fans have trouble understanding this. If he thinks he's worth more than $10M per, then the extra years are a negative for him, not a positive.

24. Pops Freshenmeyer Posted: December 20, 2012 at 09:08 PM (#4329764)

The Cubs already have a Vernon Wells, thankyouverymuch.

25. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: December 20, 2012 at 09:13 PM (#4329765)

or in washington instead of pittsburgh?

I'd rather live in Pittsburgh, as you can tell from the fact that I live there. It's actually a pretty nice town, the cost of living is very low, and unlike DC, there's a good chance you won't be murdered.

26. f_cking sick and tired of being 57i66135 Posted: December 20, 2012 at 09:26 PM (#4329775)

I'd rather live in Pittsburgh, as you can tell from the fact that I live there. It's actually a pretty nice town, the cost of living is very low, and unlike DC, there's a good chance you won't be murdered.

but unlike in pittsburgh, in DC there's a good chance that your french fries won't be ruined by mayonnaise.

so, i'd call that a wash.

27. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: December 20, 2012 at 09:29 PM (#4329778)

I'm not sure why so many of my fellow Pirates fans have trouble understanding this. If he thinks he's worth more than $10M per, then the extra years are a negative for him, not a positive.

Only if he thinks he has no chance of getting hurt or just pitching poorly, or he is risk-loving rather than risk-averse.

28. Walks Clog Up the Bases Posted: December 20, 2012 at 09:29 PM (#4329779)

I know Jackson is one of those pitchers who can be maddening to watch because of command issues, but he was a treat to watch in his lone season with the Tigers. The first four months, anyway.

29. Meatwad Posted: December 20, 2012 at 09:29 PM (#4329780)

Obviously it was the right move to pass up 3/30 for 1/11 now he has 4/52

30. Ivan Grushenko of Hong Kong Posted: December 20, 2012 at 09:30 PM (#4329782)

but unlike in pittsburgh, in DC there's a good chance that your french fries won't be ruined by mayonnaise.

Mayonnaise is the correct condiment for french fries.

31. valuearbitrageur Posted: December 20, 2012 at 10:22 PM (#4329820)

How is 3/30 lowball when he eventually signed for 1/11? Sure, the Pirates offered a lower AAV but the guaranteed money was much higher. Or do you mean the Pirates offered much less?

It's called a "pillow offer", a standard strategy (ESP. W/Boras) whereby FAs unhappy with long term offers take a one year gambling that they will get better offers in a year. And it worked like a charm here.

The Pirates were bad enough that they needed to offer a premium last year and didn't. If they had offered $40m/3 they likely would have Jackson pitching for them.

KC likely could have gotten Jackson for a similar deal as Cubs, considering how much closer hey were to competing, and not gutted their farm system. But they chose to "go for it" next year in the dumbest and most expensive manner possible,

32. McCoy Posted: December 20, 2012 at 10:33 PM (#4329823)

The Cubs have some genuine depth on the pitching staff. Now they need to do something about that outfield.

Alfonso Soriano is available.

33. Walt Davis Posted: December 20, 2012 at 10:36 PM (#4329825)

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the worst Chicago Cubs team of all time.

So the Mayans were right after all.

Actually, although I'm not exactly thrilled about it, the Jackson signing brings this year's staff up to the level of last year's staff and they do have more depth. But they managed to lose a ton with last year's staff too.

He's been a league average starter with "above average stuff" for 10 years. Last year he was exactly what he is for his career. So, he'll be paid for his stuff rather than his performance.

4 years is probably one too many but this is what "league average starters" (he's a bit better than that) get paid. Past durability is no guarantee of future durability but 200 innings a year of 100 ERA+ is a godsend. This is half Greinke's price (compare the stats), a smidgen less than Dempster's AAV, less than Sanchez, less than Buehrle, the same as Wandy, a smidgen more than Haren's AAV, a little more AAV than Arroyo, the same as ESantana this year. It's probably what Garza would have gotten this year if he hadn't gotten hurt (as is, he'll cost $10 M at least).

Anyway, it's at least a small shift in Theo's strategy. I'm not sure it's a good one at this point -- I advocated something closer to this approach last offseason but, after last year's sell-off of what few assets we had, I'm not sure the best strategy isn't to stick with the "suck until we're good again" approach.

But any move which makes it less likely Coleman ever starts a single game in a Cub uniform again can't be all bad.

EDIT: and it's not mayonnaise, that's gross. It's "garlic aioli" which is mayo with some garlic in it. Sour cream with some spices or sour cream with salsa are also acceptable. Then ketchup. For whatever reason, gravy is right out. Gravy always works with potatoes you think, but not with fries. 'Tis a mystery.

34. Walt Davis Posted: December 20, 2012 at 10:59 PM (#4329837)

Interesting:

Villanueva: one of the few remaining true swingmen with (ignoring 2010) with 135 appearances, 35 starts and 328 IP for 2009-12
Camp: 217 appearances 2010-112, 4th most IP of any "pure" reliever 2010-12
plus some combo of Feldman, Baker, Wood (barring a Garza trade)
Garza, Jackson, BPJ could total 600+ IP

Maybe the Cubs are planning on a 10-man staff. :-)

A Garza trade seems a hard thing to pull off, even without the injury. There were a lot of Garza types on the market this offseason (we just signed one) and Shields (and Buehrle and Johnson who are a cut above) were traded. Anybody who wanted Garza has had plenty of chances to strike. I won't rule it out -- somebody like Pittsburgh makes some sense if they really do have a hard time getting FAs to sign. A mid-season trade makes all sorts of sense -- prove he's healthy and some contender will need a Garza type pitcher by then.

35. John Northey Posted: December 20, 2012 at 11:03 PM (#4329839)

It is funny, the Jays get Dickey for $41 (max) over 4 years (or $30 over 3) vs $52 for Jackson over the same 4 years. $11 million more for Jackson. Over the past 4 years Jackson has cracked a 100 ERA+ twice, peaking at 125 4 years ago. Dickey was sub 100 once, at the start of the 4 year period, and in the 3 years since was over 130 for ERA+ twice with 112 in the middle year.

As others said, the knuckleball is a very untrusted pitch.

36. zachtoma Posted: December 20, 2012 at 11:31 PM (#4329850)

Mayonnaise is the correct condiment for french fries.

Mayonnaise is not the correct condiment for anything. Mayonnaise would make a bowl of your own vomit taste worse.

37. Nasty Nate Posted: December 20, 2012 at 11:35 PM (#4329853)

Does Colin Kaepernick being a past Cubs draftee have any voodoo impact on the 49ers' chances in the playoffs this year?
This seems like the right place to ask.

38. Nasty Nate Posted: December 20, 2012 at 11:39 PM (#4329854)

It is funny, the Jays get Dickey for $41 (max) over 4 years (or $30 over 3) vs $52 for Jackson over the same 4 years. $11 million more for Jackson. Over the past 4 years Jackson has cracked a 100 ERA+ twice, peaking at 125 4 years ago. Dickey was sub 100 once, at the start of the 4 year period, and in the 3 years since was over 130 for ERA+ twice with 112 in the middle year.

As others said, the knuckleball is a very untrusted pitch.

And David Price will make less than Jackson next year, so giant 27-year-old great-pitching lefties are also untrusted.....

39. JimMusComp likes Billy Eppler.... Posted: December 21, 2012 at 12:19 AM (#4329870)

The Cubs already have a Vernon Wells, thankyouverymuch.

But they don't have the definitive Vernon Wells! All others are just imitations.

40. Walt Davis Posted: December 21, 2012 at 04:00 AM (#4329898)

#38 ... some of that is FA vs. non-FA; some of that is using the leverage that Dickey is stuck with 1/$5; some of that is the upfront money Dickey's getting; and most of it is Dickey apparently preferring to be set for life than gamble on waiting a year to go FA. And your numbers overstate things in that Dickey was already stuck with $5 M for 2013 -- the AAV of the other 2/3 years is just $1 M behind Jackson. Still silly but $8 of the $11 M gap is essentially in year 1.

And I'm pretty sure the reluctance of some teams has a lot more to do with his age than the knuckleball. And the age immunity of knuckleballers is greatly exaggerated.

Candiotti -- never better than average from 36 on, 3.5 WAR 39-40
Wakefield -- solid but unspectacular, 3.7 WAR from 39-40
J Niekro -- 3.2 WAR from 39-40
P Niekro -- 16.6 WAR from 39-40!! (675 IP which Dickey might total over 3 seasons)
Hough -- 6.3 WAR from 39-40

None of them were particularly good after 40. Hough and Phil were certainly still at least useful and Phil had a couple very nice seasons mixed in with mediocrity. And Hough and Phil are the best of these pitchers and so closer to Dickey. But it's just far from certain that you'll get much better production from Dickey in 2014-15 than from Jackson.

And at ages 39-40, Dickey will be making more in raw dollars (not sure about constant) than Maddux, Glavine, Smoltz and Mussina (a bit less than Shilling, a lot less than Johnson and Clemens). Edwin Jackson will make $3.5 more than Javier Vazquez at the same ages and $16 M less than Anibal Sanchez. It's really a very different set of salary comps, yeah?

41. Fancy Crazy Town Banana Pants Handle Posted: December 21, 2012 at 04:57 AM (#4329903)

The Jays didn't just pay $$$ either, they paid prospects too. Some pretty damn good ones.

42. Baldrick Posted: December 21, 2012 at 05:16 AM (#4329904)

Mayonnaise is not the correct condiment for anything. Mayonnaise would make a bowl of your own vomit taste worse.

Quoted for truth.

43. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: December 21, 2012 at 05:31 AM (#4329906)

Only if he thinks he has no chance of getting hurt or just pitching poorly

Yes, exactly. How many MLB players believe that they're going to suck and/or get hurt? Without a bigger-than-average ego, none of these guys would have been able to make it to the majors in the first place.

but unlike in pittsburgh, in DC there's a good chance that your french fries won't be ruined by mayonnaise.

Wha? I have literally never heard of anybody in Pittsburgh doing this.

44. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: December 21, 2012 at 07:46 AM (#4329916)

I have no idea what's objectionable about mayonnaise. It's just fat and acid. Everybody likes fat and acid. Eggs, oil, lemon, mustard, whisk, salt you're done. It's simple and delicious.

Mayonnaise or aioli with fries is a French style. They go perfectly well together. If you were served mayo with fries, I assume it was somewhere French. I don't know of any American city with a tradition of serving fries with French style condiments, but there are a whole lot of French bistros and Belgian pubs across the country who will serve your fries that way.

45. Shooty would run in but these bone spurs hurt!

Posted: December 21, 2012 at 07:50 AM (#4329917)

What's this attack on mayo? Mayo and fries are great together and a tomato sandwich with mayo is nearly the perfect food. I won't stand for these insults on mayonnaise!

46. villageidiom Posted: December 21, 2012 at 07:59 AM (#4329920)

I have no idea what's objectionable about mayonnaise.

The taste. For me it's as simple as that, and it doesn't matter if it's fresh-made or store-bought. There's nothing objectionable about oatmeal, either, except that 99.99% of people who have it add something to it to give it a different, tolerable flavor. A mayo with an abundance of non-mayo flavor is fine. Mayo on its own is not. (For me.)

Mayo is the perfect condiment to keep sandwich bread from getting soggy. But when I add it I'm adding as little as possible so I don't taste it. If I go to, say, Wendy's I ask for no mayo because I don't trust them not to put more mayo than meat on it.

The thought of using fries as a mayo delivery vehicle for my mouth is making me gag right now.

I'm also a "salad with no dressing" kind of guy, but not because I don't like the flavor of dressing. Rather, I like the flavor of salad.

47. Rants Mulliniks Posted: December 21, 2012 at 08:07 AM (#4329923)

Mayonnaise would make a bowl of your own vomit taste worse.

I have one for you guys (zachtoma and Baldrick).

My office is directly across from the kitchenette (fridge, Keurig machine, microwave) area. A guy I used to work with, who was as big an eater as I've ever seen, would occassionally go on the Atkins diet to reduce his ~340 lbs. He usually always had a fair-sized plate of meat at 10 o'clock break, but this one day he grabbed a 2-lb toupie ham out of the fridge, cut it up into chunks and microwaved it, then dumped about 1/2 a cup of mayonnaise on it and took it back to his desk to eat. Might I mention he was our receptionist.

Somehow I still like mayonnaise after witnessing that.

48. Rants Mulliniks Posted: December 21, 2012 at 08:10 AM (#4329924)

I think I've mentioned this before on BBTF, but I have a cousin who was literally terrified of mayonnaise as a kid. If you two people came at him, one with a handful of dogshit and one with a handful of mayonnaise, he'd take his chances with the dogshit.

49. Shooty would run in but these bone spurs hurt!

Posted: December 21, 2012 at 08:19 AM (#4329927)

My office is directly across from the kitchenette (fridge, Keurig machine, microwave) area. A guy I used to work with, who was as big an eater as I've ever seen, would occassionally go on the Atkins diet to reduce his ~340 lbs. He usually always had a fair-sized plate of meat at 10 o'clock break, but this one day he grabbed a 2-lb toupie ham out of the fridge, cut it up into chunks and microwaved it, then dumped about 1/2 a cup of mayonnaise on it and took it back to his desk to eat. Might I mention he was our receptionist.

This just makes me happy I don't eat meat! Gross. Also, even when I still ate meat, I'd never put mayo on ham. Mayo is for chicken and turkey, mustard for ham and beef. I need to develop a curriculum about these simple facts to educate kids in the 2nd or 3rd grade. It really is more important than reading or math for a civilized society. IHMO, of course.

50. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: December 21, 2012 at 08:28 AM (#4329934)

I have no idea what's objectionable about mayonnaise.

Wait for it...

It's...delicious.

See, that's your problem, right there.

51. My name is Votto, and I love to get blotto Posted: December 21, 2012 at 08:37 AM (#4329939)

BPJ = Samardzjia???

52. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: December 21, 2012 at 08:41 AM (#4329940)

They call him Jesus even though he actually looks like a pirate. He used to pitch in the bullpen, but he doesn't anymore. Much respect to my Cubs fan friends, but it needs updating.

Oh, and on Edwin Jackson, it's not clear to me why Sanchez got 5/80 and Jackson 4/50. Sanchez is slightly better now - only slightly - but Jackson has better stuff and a better scouting pedigree. I'd definitely prefer Jackson. The fourth year is basically the tax on being a 60-win club, but the Cubs are super rich and that money won't affect them meaningfully in 2016.

53. Jose is an Absurd Doubles Machine Posted: December 21, 2012 at 08:48 AM (#4329944)

Oh, and on Edwin Jackson, it's not clear to me why Sanchez got 5/80 and Jackson 4/50.

Anibal - 20.1 IP, 1.77 ERA
Edwin - 28 IP, 5.46 ERA

Post-season numbers for each guy. Both are career which in Anibal's case is the most recent season. It's not logical but Sanchez became the "it" pitcher this off-season on the strength of his post-season.

54. Jose is an Absurd Doubles Machine Posted: December 21, 2012 at 08:52 AM (#4329947)

Mayo is wonderful if not overdone. Restaurants are notorious for overdoing it but if you are making sandwiches at home it's a great condiment. Also, it's really easy to make and you can add flavor and spices to it to make it even better.

I wouldn't want to do it with french fries. Fries are at their best with gravy.

My office is directly across from the kitchenette (fridge, Keurig machine, microwave) area. A guy I used to work with, who was as big an eater as I've ever seen, would occassionally go on the Atkins diet to reduce his ~340 lbs. He usually always had a fair-sized plate of meat at 10 o'clock break, but this one day he grabbed a 2-lb toupie ham out of the fridge, cut it up into chunks and microwaved it, then dumped about 1/2 a cup of mayonnaise on it and took it back to his desk to eat. Might I mention he was our receptionist.

I've got a weight problem in large part because I eat like crap (though I'm down 20 as of this morning, woo!). This sounds horrific though.

55. bobm Posted: December 21, 2012 at 08:53 AM (#4329948)

BPJ = Samardzjia???

Bullpen Jesus

56. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: December 21, 2012 at 08:58 AM (#4329950)

This just makes me happy I don't eat meat! Gross. Also, even when I still ate meat, I'd never put mayo on ham. Mayo is for chicken and turkey, mustard for ham and beef. I need to develop a curriculum about these simple facts to educate kids in the 2nd or 3rd grade. It really is more important than reading or math for a civilized society. IHMO, of course.

Concur about ham, no mayo, ever. But, it works on a BLT, and a roast beef sandwich (lettuce and tomato), and will sliced roast beef, if you add horseradish.

Not eating meat, now there's something insane ;-)

57. Spahn Insane Posted: December 21, 2012 at 09:29 AM (#4329972)

The "Bullpen Jesus" thing had nothing to do with how Samardzija looked--it had to do with his being a Notre Dame footballer (a derisive reference to Touchdown Jesus).

58. Mellow Mouse, Benevolent Space Tyrant Posted: December 21, 2012 at 09:30 AM (#4329974)

I'm also a "salad with no dressing" kind of guy, but not because I don't like the flavor of dressing. Rather, I like the flavor of salad.

Sing it brother! Often a bit of dressing is alright, but love the salad not the bad for you crap all over it. And Mayo is nasty on fries or anything else. Occassionally I forget and end up with mayo and eat it, but not good.

Mustard is the correct condiment for fries. Catsup (of Ketchup if you prefer) is ok in a pinch.

59. Juilin Sandar to Conkling Speedwell (Arjun) Posted: December 21, 2012 at 09:30 AM (#4329975)

They call him Jesus even though he actually looks like a pirate. He used to pitch in the bullpen, but he doesn't anymore. Much respect to my Cubs fan friends, but it needs updating.

You'd prefer "SPP" (starting pitcher pirate)? :p

In all fairness, it's not so much that he looks like Jesus (frankly, he never really did), but more because of the "Touchdown Jesus" mural at Notre Dame Stadium. (EDIT: retro-shiite got it first) Now that you say it, he does look a lot like a skinny pirate, though.

60. Rafael Bellylard: The Grinch of Orlando. Posted: December 21, 2012 at 09:35 AM (#4329977)

My stepson believes Ranch dressing is the correct condiment with french fries. Then again, he believes Ranch dressing is the correct condiment for most everything. He was 17 before he figured out it's supposed to be a condiment and not a beverage.

61. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: December 21, 2012 at 09:42 AM (#4329985)

The Cubs have done pretty much exactly what I wanted the Royals to do. I thought Feldman and Villanueva were pretty underrated gems and while I think Jackson was paid a bit much, I'm willing to pay that over giving up a prospect.

The Cubs got four pitchers - Edwin Jackson, Scott Baker, Scott Feldman, and Carlos Villanueva, and will pay them $29.5 mill (plus $1.5 mill in incentives if Baker is healthy). The Royals got four pitchers - James Shields, Ervin Santana, Jeremy Guthrie, and Wade Davis, and will pay them $30.8 mill, plus they had to give up Wil Myers, Jake Odorizzi, Mike Montgomery, Patrick Leonard and Brandon Sisk.

62. Johnny Sycophant-Laden Fora Posted: December 21, 2012 at 09:43 AM (#4329986)

I'm not anti-Mayo, but Mayo on fries is just WRONG

63. Shooty would run in but these bone spurs hurt!

Posted: December 21, 2012 at 09:45 AM (#4329988)

I'm not anti-Mayo, but Mayo on fries is just WRONG

Who are we to disagree with the Belgians about anything food related? They know what they're doing.

64. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: December 21, 2012 at 09:50 AM (#4329994)

I'm not anti-Mayo, but Mayo on fries is just WRONG

Who are we to disagree with the Belgians about anything food related? They know what they're doing.

How about a compromise? Russian dressing on fries is quite good.

65. JJ1986 Posted: December 21, 2012 at 09:53 AM (#4329996)

I used to put tartar sauce on fries.

66. Yeaarrgghhhh Posted: December 21, 2012 at 09:55 AM (#4329998)

Mayo, ketchup, and diced raw onion is great with fries.

67. BrianBrianson Posted: December 21, 2012 at 09:55 AM (#4329999)

Fries are at their best with gravy.

...and cheese curds.

68. Shooty would run in but these bone spurs hurt!

Posted: December 21, 2012 at 09:58 AM (#4330001)

69. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: December 21, 2012 at 10:01 AM (#4330006)

Does anything really not go well with fries? Fries with gravy and gravy and cheese is great, of course. Let's face it, fries are the perfect food. Has anyone ever met a person that said, "Oooh, french fries? No thanks!"

But really good french fries are best with nothing. Condiments, to me, are only there to make up for sub-par fries.

70. Charles S. is a big fan of Outerbridge Horsey Posted: December 21, 2012 at 10:04 AM (#4330015)

Now that you say it, he does look a lot like a skinny pirate, though.

I remember Kent Tekulve, and I have to say I don't see the resemblence at all.

71. Charles S. is a big fan of Outerbridge Horsey Posted: December 21, 2012 at 10:09 AM (#4330023)

Who are we to disagree with the Belgians about anything food related? They know what they're doing.

DCW3, please report to the Edwin Jackson thread.

The Belgians know what they're doing?

72. Yeaarrgghhhh Posted: December 21, 2012 at 10:09 AM (#4330025)

Does anything really not go well with fries? Fries with gravy and gravy and cheese is great, of course. Let's face it, fries are the perfect food. Has anyone ever met a person that said, "Oooh, french fries? No thanks!"

True.

But really good french fries are best with nothing. Condiments, to me, are only there to make up for sub-par fries.

Also true.

73. Kiko Sakata

Posted: December 21, 2012 at 10:15 AM (#4330036)

a tomato sandwich with mayo is nearly the perfect food

Tomatoes and mayo are my wife's two most-hated foods. You've just described her worst nightmare (sounds good to me, though, although it needs bacon and lettuce - and my son and I will sometimes add avocado to make it a BLAT sandwich).

74. McCoy Posted: December 21, 2012 at 10:21 AM (#4330046)

Arby's curly fries. Z best.

Mayo is great and warm mayo is the greatest.

Saying you don't like mayo is like saying you don't like butter and who doesn't like butter?

75. Dock Ellis

Posted: December 21, 2012 at 10:25 AM (#4330055)

Wendy's fries dipped in a Wendy's Frosty.

76. Shooty would run in but these bone spurs hurt!

Posted: December 21, 2012 at 10:28 AM (#4330056)

Wendy's fries dipped in a Wendy's Frosty.

Whoa! That takes me back. I haven't done that in years and years and years. Crissakes, not I'm going to have to get fries for lunch. Thanks jerks!

77. Nasty Nate Posted: December 21, 2012 at 10:30 AM (#4330062)

Why can't places put the seasoning from curly fries on regular-shaped fries? And why can't curly fries be made to taste just like regular fries?

78. McCoy Posted: December 21, 2012 at 10:32 AM (#4330065)

Why would you want that?

79. Nasty Nate Posted: December 21, 2012 at 10:36 AM (#4330074)

Just a hypothetical question.

Why is the cut/shape of a fry automatically linked to the flavor in this one occasion? They make sweet-potato fries the same shape as regular ones.

80. Meatwad Posted: December 21, 2012 at 11:44 AM (#4330180)

its not, just that they want them different for sales reasons, go to rallys for good non curly seasoned fries

81. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: December 21, 2012 at 12:02 PM (#4330202)

Arby's curly fries. Z best.

Good, but not as good as they were when they first came out, before they changed the spice recipe.

82. Nasty Nate Posted: December 21, 2012 at 12:03 PM (#4330204)

go to rallys for good non curly seasoned fries

Occupy Frialator?

83. I am going to be Frank Posted: December 21, 2012 at 12:21 PM (#4330245)

In German Burger Kings "Frittessaus" is mayo.

Haven't had Arby's in quite some time but they did have good curley fries. There is a chain of Mexican restaurants in northern Jersey that has excellent fries. I think they are covered in flour and then fried. I guess it holds even more grease.

84. Rowland Office Supplies Posted: December 21, 2012 at 01:20 PM (#4330344)

In all fairness, it's not so much that he looks like Jesus (frankly, he never really did)...

But he talks like a gentleman.

85. just plain joe Posted: December 21, 2012 at 01:31 PM (#4330356)

But really good french fries are best with nothing. Condiments, to me, are only there to make up for sub-par fries.

I think fries need some salt, at the very least.

I am not a big fan of mayo but will eat it if it comes on my sandwich. My wife puts mayo on cheeseburgers, which I think is disgusting but I have learned to deal with it, just so she doesn't put it on mine.

The best sauce for a BLT is brown steak sauce such as A1. I know it sounds weird but it actually is very good; Russian dressing makes a good second choice if brown sauce is not available.

86. Shooty would run in but these bone spurs hurt!

Posted: December 21, 2012 at 01:32 PM (#4330357)

Wasn't the Bullpen Jesus thing a play on the Notre Dame Touchdown Jesus gimmick?

87. Fancy Crazy Town Banana Pants Handle Posted: December 21, 2012 at 01:40 PM (#4330364)

Does anything really not go well with fries? Fries with gravy and gravy and cheese is great, of course. Let's face it, fries are the perfect food. Has anyone ever met a person that said, "Oooh, french fries? No thanks!"

My 8 year old nephew. Seriously, he won't eat them.

88. RMc's Unenviable Situation Posted: December 21, 2012 at 02:49 PM (#4330430)

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the worst Chicago Cubs team of all time.

Could they really be worse than the the '62 Cubs, who not only lost club-record 103 games, but did it in the same league as the legendary 1962 Mets? Who they were 9-9 against...?! (Funnily enough, I actually interviewed one of their [three!] managers, Charlie Metro. His book, "Safe By A Mile", is pretty good.)

89. Jim Wisinski

Posted: December 21, 2012 at 02:50 PM (#4330431)

Until this thread I seriously thought that the Cubs had a pitcher named Bryan Pena Jr. or some such.

90. Fred Garvin is dead to Mug Posted: December 21, 2012 at 03:11 PM (#4330451)

I'd rather have Hector Villenueva (or as Harry once pronounced his name: "Vanilla Wafer").

91. Bourbon Samurai, what price fettucine? Posted: December 21, 2012 at 03:50 PM (#4330497)

I used to loathe mayo but have come around to where I can tolerate it if need be. The only time I would ever put it on a sandwich would be a little bit in tuna.

My sandwich condiment of choice is oyster sauce. Goes magnifciently well with cheddar cheese for some reason.

92. Justin T seeks a heterospecific consortship Posted: December 21, 2012 at 03:59 PM (#4330506)

My 8 year old nephew.

I read this response after only reading the first question in the italicized portion it was a response to.

93. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: December 21, 2012 at 04:14 PM (#4330520)

Mayo is gross but that's partly a result of my mother overusing it when I was a kid. I can never eat a turkey sandwich with mayo again. Also, anything from Wendy's is gross.

94. Commissioner Bud Black Beltre Hillman Posted: December 21, 2012 at 05:55 PM (#4330585)

Bacon and avocado with thousand island makes for a nice sandwich.

95. just plain joe Posted: December 21, 2012 at 06:29 PM (#4330607)

Bacon and avocado with thousand island makes for a nice sandwich.

Bacon and damn near anything makes for a nice sandwich, except mayo :-)

96. Walt Davis Posted: December 21, 2012 at 07:35 PM (#4330646)

Russian dressing on fries is quite good.

Just go sour cream and salsa and cut the Russians out of it.

Mayo, ketchup, and diced raw onion is great with fries.

Again, sour cream and salsa.

I think fries need some salt, at the very least.

And here I depart. No salt. No crappy seasoning. Just black pepper.

For those looking for taste adventure, travel to New Zealand. You can get chicken salt on your fries (well, chips). Or lemon pepper. You can get potato chips (well, crisps) in chicken flavor (well, flavour) ... or lamb and mint or ham and something.

97. sardonic Posted: December 23, 2012 at 11:04 PM (#4331759)

Late to the party but... was having a crab boil a couple weeks ago and made an amazing dipping sauce that combined mayo, sriracha and garlic powder.

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