Good thing for Ray Lewis he has a rock-solid alibi this time.

We all knew that he would eventually do it, we just thought it would be to one of us.

All the jokes have already been made, fellas. Sorry to ruin your fun.

I feel kind of bad at my first reaction to such a headline being humor, but I guess sometimes it happens. Like when I heard on the radio that Jeff Porcoro (drummer of Toto) died after applying pesticide in his yard. All I heard was "died in a bizarre gardening accident."

Apparently though, what really killed Porcoro was cocaine, which probably explains most of Spinal Tap's drummers, too.

My favorite euphemisms were the ones that North Carolina newspapers used when someone got arrested for using a public bathroom for sodomy. The papers would write, "Billy Wayne Bobbitt, 39, was arrested at the Dixie Vim service station on East Main Street in Durham on Saturday, and charged with a crime against nature." I knew what they meant, but I still couldn't help picturing this guy being thrown in the slammer while his accomplice in crime was jacking off against the prison guard's pants leg.

Root for an opposing football team? That's a stabbin'.

Root for an opposing football team? That's a stabbin'.

The stabbing was done by a 49ers fan.

Correct a post making a reference to a Simpsons episode? Oh, you'd better believe that's a stabbin'.