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1. dirkOTOH, this potentially clears up $7 mill for the Tribe to pursue Roy Oswalt or Carlos Pena.
I just can't imagine the circumstances that would lead to that situation. Do Dominican police trawl the streets looking for people using false identities? If they already suspected "Carmona", the natural thing would be to nab him at his home. Hmmm, maybe they caught him with two sets of papers.
Of course, I'm starting to believe that no one in the Dominican Republic has a "real" identity at all and that they all laugh at us for our attachment to obsolete concepts like immutable identities.
That's like jumping up from John Williams to Ruddiger Halcente.
Perhaps because until he renewed his visa he only possessed false identity docs. Afterwards he could charged with using a false identity. This despite his having lived under a false name for 10+ years now so maybe they needed a fresh crime.
He's the Miguel Dilone of pitchers!
He didn't want anyone thinking he was related to the Run Fairy.
Tipped off by the Cleveland Indians to get out of that contract?
I'm trying to come up with a joke and/or quirky stat involving Fausto Carmona, Roberto Hernandez, Gil Heredia, and Felix Heredia, but I got nothin.
"The always innovative Indians front office is now making plans for Carmona to remain in the starting rotation, while Roberto Hernandez-Heredia joins the bullpen as a middle reliever.
This way, Carmona can relieve himself without having to leave the mound during a game."
not sayin, i'm just sayin...
What, if you were free to choose, why wouldn't you choose an awesome moustache-twirling villain name?
"Dennis Feinstien though? he should probably change it to something a little more exotic if he wants to make it big in the world of perfume."
"Oh, his real name is Dante Fiero, but he changed it to Dennis Feinstien 'cause that's way more exotic in Pawnee."
um... ick.
Rubber Krapp, however, never had that problem.
Whoa, two shitty relievers in one!
Fausto Carmona doesn't abbrieviate! In his name, each letter is as important as the one that preceded it. Maybe even more important.
No, as important.
Carmona: "Kids, there's three ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way, and the Fausto Carmona way!"
Sassy student: "Isn't that the wrong way?"
Carmona: "Yes, but faster!"
(Carmona turns around and somehow immediately gives up a grand slam)
How about "Carmona, Not You?"
If that's his real name...
"I got it from a hair dryer."
If that's his real name...
Maybe he's been kidnapped???
I'm gonna give you passport
Carmona my house, my house
I'm gonna make you three years younger with a new name too
Eh?
"Rock Strongo."
"Your REAL name sir?"
"Ummm... errr, Lance Uppercut."
"Sign here, Mr. Uppercut."
As sung by a guy who entered into a group conspiracy to change their surnames to reflect the pseudonym used by Paul McCartney, whose first name isn't even Paul... THERE ARE LAYERS WITHIN LAYERS IN THIS ROTTEN ONION OF SHAME
that's damned excellent...
I thought the internet took care of that concept once and for all, "Swedish Chef".
If that's your real name!
How much longer until you finish the dissertation? Is it going well?
Ah, now Carmona's endorsement of that ehter-based perfume makes sense.
"I got it from a hair dryer."
The first time I saw the company name on the urinals of our UK offices, I knew I had a name for a British detective, if I ever wrote a novel and it needed a British detective: Armitage Shanks.
Winner winner, chicken dinner!
I'd probably go with Smoke Manmuscle or maybe Big McLargehuge.
It's probably old news to many here, but Buffalo Springfield got their name from the manufacturer of a steamroller that Stephen Stills happened to spot parked outside his window.
Bulk VanderHuge!
Or if you want to stick with a Spanish name, Emilio Bonifacio.
How about this guy
Or the .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
And they were teammates last year.
Maybe the payments were something like $100 a year, and a smirk was totally worth it. In any case, if you threaten with the nuclear option, sometimes pulling the trigger is the right option.
During an appearance on ESPN's "Outside the Lines" on Friday, Pedro Gomez reported that Fausto Carmona was outed several weeks ago on a popular radio show in Santo Domingo by the mother of the real Fausto Carmona.
And in our ultra-connected world, not a word of this filtered out to the baseball media. There's a moral there, maybe, or something notable at least.
How was it the right option here? They now get nothing. Or is it that perhaps they have sold several other of their names to other ballplayers and this will get them to pony up?
Depends on a whole lot of stuff that we don't know. Maybe Heredia has paid a relative pittance until now and was refusing to pony up any more. The only leverage she has is the threat of exposure, so what else is she supposed to do if he tells her he thinks she's bluffing? If the choice is between getting nothing and getting revenge?
The thing to remember is that she went nuclear on herself and her family not on Heredia. Heredia has made over 15 million dollars so far in just salary and even if they void his contract he'll still probably make another million or so before he is done and have a great pension. What is going to happen to him isn't going to be pleasant but it just won't mean a lot to him and at the end of the day the Carmona family is now out of the picture.
There's a well known psychological/economic problem called The Ultimatum Game that goes as follows. You take two people. Person A is given a sum of money. He then must propose to split the money with person B in any way he sees fit (So he could say 95% for me 5% for you). Person B then must decide whether to accept the proposal or not. If he accepts, the money is divided. If he refuses, neither player gets anything.
Classic game theory says that Player B should accept whatever Player A proposes, as otherwise he gets nothing. However, when this scenario is played out with real people, that's not what happens. A large amount of player A's propose a 50:50 split, or something close to it. Those that offer too little a sum have their proposal refused. It seems that the average cutoff point is about 20% of the sum. If Player A offers less than that, Player B will usually refuse the deal, and neither gets anything. In one test in Indonesia, where Player A was given $100 to split, the other players regularly refused offers of less than $30, even though average per-capita income in Indonesia was only $670 per year. Check the link for more info.
Seriously, can't we just keep calling him Fausto Carmona? We are full up on both Hernandezs and Heredii.
This option is most likely the last payday of Carmonas career anyway and this is the endgame, I can see her wanting several hundred thousand of the last windfall to keep quiet. If the former sum has been constant, she already has ten such payments. Getting another may be pretty small change.
To pose a creditable threat you have to seem willing to go through with it to the other side by flaunting your irrationality, but if you're really going to cave at the end you will send all manners of subtle hints of that, so it is much better to actually prepare to pull the trigger and then do it unless you're a great actor. Maybe the problem was that she didn't seem crazy enough to the other side.
Is the Carmona family not subject to any criminal penalties here? They did conspire to identity fraud.
The key phrase is "creditable threat". How is it much better to pull the trigger? You still haven't explained that part. What did she gain? The problem is that for the most part she can't really hurt the other side. Heredia might lose A payday but not all paydays. She has not lost all future paydays.
If you want somebody to do something and you threaten their life killing them doesn't actually get you what you want.
Robert in Manhatten Beach is not your real name!?!?!?!?!
No, but my miscalculation is smaller than theirs.
The Maltese Falcon sums this up nicely (thanks to IMDB):
Sam Spade: If you kill me, how are you going get the bird? And if I know you can't afford to kill me, how are you going to scare me into giving it to you?
Kasper Gutman: Well, sir, there are other means of persuasion besides killing and threatening to kill.
Sam Spade: Yes, that's... That's true. But, there're none of them any good unless the threat of death is behind them. You see what I mean? If you start something, I'll make it a matter of your having to kill me or call it off.
Kasper Gutman: That's an attitude, sir, that calls for the most delicate judgment on both sides. Because, as you know, sir, in the heat of action men are likely to forget where their best interests lie and let their emotions carry them away.
Sam Spade: Then the trick from my angle is to make my play strong enough to tie you up, but not make you mad enough to bump me off against your better judgment.
You still assume that there was some other means by which she would gain something. How do we know that Heredia hadn't already cut her off completely and dared her to go to the authorities. You sum up the nothing to gain side well, but there's also the nothing to lose aspect to consider.
She went to the cops, not the press, right? Probably cut a deal.
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