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Friday, January 18, 2013

FICTITIOUS FRIDAY IS COMING TO MCU PARK

In light of recent events involving All-American linebacker Manti Te’o, the Brooklyn Cyclones have announced that June 21st will be Fictitious Friday at MCU Park…

Anyone who purchases one ticket at regular price will be allowed to bring their make believe significant-other to the ballpark free of charge. Fans will also have the chance to draw a picture of their girlfriend, because obviously something came up and she couldn’t make it, so that their friends can finally see what she looks like. As a special treat, MCU Park will host a unique petting zoo for those in attendance, featuring a unicorn, a mermaid, and a Minotaur. The Cyclones are also in discussions with the Loch Ness Monster and Big Foot to throw out a ceremonial first pitch that evening. In keeping with the tradition of Coney Island amusements, the Cyclones will put a spin on a traditional carnival game, as fans that are able to toss a ping-pong ball into a fish bowl will receive a catfish. Lastly, all of the player headshots used on the video board will just be random people whose photos we find on the Internet.

The District Attorney Posted: January 18, 2013 at 04:45 PM | 23 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: brooklyn cyclones, college football, football, mets, minor leagues

Reader Comments and Retorts

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   1. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: January 18, 2013 at 05:04 PM (#4350147)
I love these minor league promotions. So much fun.
   2. Pat Rapper's Delight Posted: January 18, 2013 at 05:32 PM (#4350182)
a unique petting zoo for those in attendance, featuring ... a Minotaur.

A real minotaur, or something lame like Alex Rodriguez dressed up as one?
   3. morineko Posted: January 18, 2013 at 06:25 PM (#4350268)
Fans will also have the chance to draw a picture of their girlfriend, because obviously something came up and she couldn’t make it, so that their friends can finally see what she looks like.


Does anyone remember Hideki Matsui drawing a picture of his wife, the one nobody had ever seen?
   4. thetailor Posted: January 18, 2013 at 06:42 PM (#4350290)
It must be so much fun to work for a minor league team!
   5. Fernigal McGunnigle has become a merry hat Posted: January 18, 2013 at 06:53 PM (#4350300)
a unique petting zoo for those in attendance, featuring ... a Minotaur.


There's only one Minotaur, the offspring of Minos' wife and a bull sent by Poseidon. You don't have a Minotaur, you either have the Minotaur or there ain't no Minotaur present. I suspect that someone in the Cyclones organization is lying to us.
   6. Gamingboy Posted: January 18, 2013 at 07:07 PM (#4350309)
Will Sidd Finch's number be retired?
   7. Nasty Nate Posted: January 18, 2013 at 07:32 PM (#4350318)
The Cyclones' opponent will be that mystery team that is always pursuing Boras' free agents.
   8. Gamingboy Posted: January 18, 2013 at 08:30 PM (#4350350)

The Cyclones' opponent will be that mystery team that is always pursuing Boras' free agents.


Also known as the Nationals.
   9. DJS and the Infinite Sadness Posted: January 18, 2013 at 08:53 PM (#4350361)
There's only one Minotaur, the offspring of Minos' wife and a bull sent by Poseidon. You don't have a Minotaur, you either have the Minotaur or there ain't no Minotaur present. I suspect that someone in the Cyclones organization is lying to us.

Could not some of the genetic material from The Minotaur be saved and used to create a cloned minotaur?
   10. Gamingboy Posted: January 18, 2013 at 09:37 PM (#4350378)

Could not some of the genetic material from The Minotaur be saved and used to create a cloned minotaur?


Somewhere, a SyFy original movie enters production...
   11. Walt Davis Posted: January 18, 2013 at 10:01 PM (#4350390)
How many of these actually end up happening? This is a gimmick to take advantage of this week's hot news stories but the promo isn't until late June when nobody will be talking about these stories. That often seems the case with these "snarky" minors promotions. I suppose with this one there's a good chance somebody famous will have been caught in a lie that week so you can re-promote it. I suspect a lot of these never really happen, it's just a minors team trying to grab 15 seconds in the media spotlight right now.
   12. Petunia inquires about ponies Posted: January 18, 2013 at 11:02 PM (#4350406)
Maybe. It's funny enough to me that if a team near me did this, I might buy tickets now. I imagine that's more the point.

Then again, living within a half an hour of two major-league parks, I know next to nothing about attending minor league games.
   13. Gamingboy Posted: January 18, 2013 at 11:49 PM (#4350419)

Then again, living within a half an hour of two major-league parks, I know next to nothing about attending minor league games.


It's like a MLB game, only there are way more promotions (the lower you go, the crazier they become is a good rule of thumb), you probably don't know any of the players outside of maybe one or two journeymen or top prospects, and it's a ton cheaper. They give you a ticket and everything.
   14. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: January 19, 2013 at 12:49 AM (#4350431)
Yeah, I went to several Tulsa Driller's games when I worked in Oklahoma way back in the day, and it was a pretty great experience. Minor league ball is fun.
   15. Walt Davis Posted: January 19, 2013 at 12:57 AM (#4350434)
I imagine that's more the point.

That's what I mean -- they are going for "here we are, aren't we cute" right now, not putting a high attendance promotion on the schedule to draw a crowd in late June.
   16. akrasian Posted: January 19, 2013 at 01:17 AM (#4350438)
Then again, living within a half an hour of two major-league parks, I know next to nothing about attending minor league games.

When I lived in New Orleans, I worked near the Zephyr's stadium (the shrine on Airline, as it was nicknamed), and it was great. I'd swing by after work on a weekday, if there weren't big crowds I'd get a ticket, a beer and a hot dog, and while what crowds there were would sit down the lines (because the mascots would throw t-shirts to the crowd from atop the dugouts between innings) I would sit behind home plate with the scouts. Occasionally they would talk to me, more often I would just observe them, while also watching the game from the best seats in the house. Oh, and having a cheap dinner after work.
   17. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: January 19, 2013 at 01:34 AM (#4350440)
t's like a MLB game, only there are way more promotions (the lower you go, the crazier they become is a good rule of thumb), you probably don't know any of the players outside of maybe one or two journeymen or top prospects, and it's a ton cheaper.


You forgot the part about how it's awesome and you just sort of float through the nigh and stands and concessions in a glow of common, everyman-hood, and you see the players as real people who are playing a game, and not this sort of combination of circus and theater from which you must stand 100m distant less the sheen of the spectacle wear off, like in MLB.
   18. Fancy Pants Handles lap changes with class Posted: January 19, 2013 at 03:37 AM (#4350452)
Does anyone remember Hideki Matsui drawing a picture of his wife, the one nobody had ever seen?

No we do not.
   19. G.W.O. Posted: January 19, 2013 at 04:17 AM (#4350454)
#6 "Will Sidd Finch's number be retired?"

I am going to suggest that to them on twitter...
   20. Benji Posted: January 19, 2013 at 08:44 AM (#4350467)
The Cyclones' parent team is putting a fictitious major league outfield and bullpen on 81 times at Citifield this year.

   21. RMc is a fine piece of cheese Posted: January 19, 2013 at 10:24 AM (#4350479)
I'd swing by after work on a weekday, if there weren't big crowds I'd get a ticket, a beer and a hot dog, and while what crowds there were would sit down the lines (because the mascots would throw t-shirts to the crowd from atop the dugouts between innings) I would sit behind home plate with the scouts. Occasionally they would talk to me, more often I would just observe them, while also watching the game from the best seats in the house. Oh, and having a cheap dinner after work.

This is basically how I want to spend every day for the rest of my life.
   22. Bruce Chen's Huge Panamanian Robot Posted: January 19, 2013 at 11:10 PM (#4350771)
Does anyone remember Hideki Matsui drawing a picture of his wife, the one nobody had ever seen?


   23. Bruce Chen's Huge Panamanian Robot Posted: January 19, 2013 at 11:11 PM (#4350773)
Yes

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