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Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Former Sox flack takes hacks

Dirt gets dug!

It turns out that Fenway dirt isn’t dirt at all. In the infield, it’s a substance called “Turface,” a brick-red clay material that Henry had ordered to match the color of the crushed brick that makes up the warning track in the outfield. I brought this up at a meeting, and we landed on the idea of giving away little plastic bags of the stuff, labeling it authentic Fenway Park infield dirt. “Dirt,” Lucchino said, twisting up his face. “We’re going to give our fans bags of dirt?” His reaction seemed to sink the notion right there. But on the next trip, to New Hampshire, we brought along about 100 little bags of the dirt — which of course had never been closer to the Fenway infield than the dugout. But that didn’t matter. The bags disappeared the instant they were shown off to the admiring crowd.

Players get played!

I said something about how if he [Henry] was socializing with Playboy Playmates, keeping him out of the press was going to be problematic. He simply scoffed and insisted he’d never dated a Playmate.

Nomah’s a space cadet!

I’ll never forget the time, at some point after the space shuttle Columbia disaster in 2003, that NASA arranged for two female astronauts to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at a Sox home game and deliver a brief tribute to their fallen colleagues… I didn’t normally mingle with the players, so it was a bit of a thrill to be sitting wedged among Nomar Garciaparra, Tim Wakefield, and other stars. Nomar curiously watched my interaction with the two women, who were dressed in their bright-blue flight suits, and finally nudged me and asked who they were. I explained that they were astronauts. “Hey,” Nomar replied, “I saw this show on Fox that said we never really went to the moon. The whole thing was faked. Can I talk to her about that?”

“Sure,” I said, eager to witness this conversation.

Coleman diplomatically handled the inquiry from Nomar. “I’ve heard about that,” she said, “but it would have to be an enormous conspiracy.”

“Did you see the show?” he quickly rejoined. “It was really convincing…. I don’t know.”

She hadn’t seen the show and looked plaintively at me as other players began to join the conversation. “Hey,” I said, trying to change the subject. “Cady is going to spend six months on the International Space Station. Talk about training for the big show.”

Intrigued, Nomar asked about the size of the space station. “It’s really big,” Coleman said.

“Is it as big as Fenway Park?” Nomar asked.

“No, not that big,” Coleman replied. Then she started looking around for ways to illustrate the dimensions of the orbiting vehicle.“How far is it from home plate to first base?” she finally asked. About six players yelled in unison: “Ninety feet.”

“It’s about that size,” she told them.

“That’s not big,” Nomar said. “That’s small.”

Me oh Mia!

scotto Posted: January 04, 2012 at 10:33 AM | 24 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: baseball geeks, media, red sox, steroids

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   1. The District Attorney Posted: January 04, 2012 at 12:49 PM (#4028626)
“Is it as big as Fenway Park?” Nomar asked.
I don't know why this is so funny to me, but it is. As if Nomar has no frame of reference in life other than things related to baseball, and Fenway Park is the largest thing he's ever seen. I imagine him saying it slowly and thoughtfully, with a childlike look of wonder on his face.

Anyway, Nomar is lucky. Buzz Aldrin would have punched his lights out for questioning the moon landing.
   2. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: January 04, 2012 at 01:02 PM (#4028645)
Former Sox flack takes hacks

Lansdowne Street Lays an Egg!
   3. Greg K Posted: January 04, 2012 at 01:16 PM (#4028656)
Is this the same headline writer that did

"Ice Town Costs Ice Clown his Town Crown"?
   4. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: January 04, 2012 at 01:18 PM (#4028658)
Former Sox flack takes hacks

Sticks hicks pan pixs!
   5. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: January 04, 2012 at 01:49 PM (#4028693)
Nitwit Nomar Nixes NASA Nymph
   6. winnipegwhip Posted: January 04, 2012 at 02:09 PM (#4028723)
Nomar...Georgia Tech. 'Nuff Ced.
   7. SoSH U at work Posted: January 04, 2012 at 02:24 PM (#4028756)
Former Sox flack takes hacks


I thought this was going to be about Keefe's impending move to the NL.

   8. Dan Posted: January 04, 2012 at 02:25 PM (#4028757)
I'd feel really good about my company working with this guy's PR firm.

Bailey no longer reps the Sox - he left Rasky in 2007 to start his own firm, DBMediaStrategies Inc. - but the piece does raise questions about his responsibility to former clients. “It’s a fair question,’’ Bailey told us yesterday. “But I would put most of these stories in the category of cocktail party stories. There are plenty of others I wouldn’t tell.’’ Bailey said there’s no danger of a similar piece about his current clients - Cambridge Health Alliance, the Chiofaro Company, and Arbella Insurance, to name a few - because they don’t interest people the way the Red Sox do. And what does Rasky have to say about the piece? “We take confidentiality very seriously on all client matters, and we’re not going to be talking about any of this,’’ said Rasky.


"How do I know you aren't going to go tell stories about us after you're done working for us?"

"Well no one gives a #### about your company, frankly. But if they ever do, well, all bets are off!"
   9. Don Geovany Soto (chris h.) Posted: January 04, 2012 at 02:45 PM (#4028786)
I don't know why this is so funny to me, but it is. As if Nomar has no frame of reference in life other than things related to baseball, and Fenway Park is the largest thing he's ever seen. I imagine him saying it slowly and thoughtfully, with a childlike look of wonder on his face.

The next time someone insists that some kind of PED or whatever MUST work because, hell, if it didn't players wouldn't use it...show them this article.

Moral: many athletes aren't all that bright.
   10. Walt Davis Posted: January 04, 2012 at 02:55 PM (#4028803)
So you're saying McGwire breaking Maris's record was another NASA hoax? I knew it! Those guys (and gals!) are everywhere.

Truth or dingers man, truth or dingers.
   11. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: January 04, 2012 at 03:13 PM (#4028834)
[Edit: Could've sworn that joke wasn't there when I posted...]
   12. MM1f Posted: January 04, 2012 at 03:30 PM (#4028848)
Wait, what is so dumb about not knowing how big the space station is?

I knew it wasn't Fenway big, sure, but I was surprised to find out that it was only 90 feet long. The words "space station" conjure up a mental image of something much bigger. A layman wondering how the size of the space station compares to a small stadium sounds reasonable.
   13. bunyon Posted: January 04, 2012 at 03:30 PM (#4028849)
Anyway, Nomar is lucky. Buzz Aldrin would have punched his lights out for questioning the moon landing.

No, Buzz would have beaten him to death with a moon rock.
   14. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: January 04, 2012 at 03:35 PM (#4028853)
No, Buzz would have beaten him to death with a moon rock.


Don't you mean, "moon" rock?
   15. Swedish Chef Posted: January 04, 2012 at 03:41 PM (#4028862)
In other space news, the White House denies that Obama has visited Mars on CIA business.
   16. Drew (Primakov, Gungho Iguanas) Posted: January 04, 2012 at 03:43 PM (#4028865)
This is an example of the stuff that lives behind the paywall?

Doubly glad I told boston.com to #### off months ago.
   17. cooper7d7 Posted: January 04, 2012 at 03:57 PM (#4028890)
Wait, what is so dumb about not knowing how big the space station is?


Per wikipedia, the ISS is 72.8m long by 108.5m wide by 20 to 66m high.

In feet, that is 238.8 feet by 356 by 65 to 216 feet.
Perhaps the living space is only 90 feet long, but the entire space station is closer to Fenway-size then home-to-first.
   18. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: January 04, 2012 at 04:51 PM (#4028934)
This is an example of the stuff that lives behind the paywall?

Doubly glad I told boston.com to #### off months ago.


It's Boston Magazine, not boston.com.
   19. Ned Garvin: Male Prostitute Posted: January 04, 2012 at 05:05 PM (#4028941)
#17: The ISS has been growing for a number of years. I am too lazy to look up the data, but it was certainly much smaller back in 2003. And since much of the current size is solar panels, I would imagine the occupied part is much smaller - I would have guessed smaller than 90 ft myself. Spaceships are tiny boxes, and space stations aren't much better. That's why I would never go to Mars - 9 months in a small box, each way, with people I may or may not like, with no guarantee of return? Pass. The Moon though, I am all over that.
   20. Jolly Old St. Nick Still Gags in October Posted: January 04, 2012 at 05:05 PM (#4028943)
So you're saying McGwire breaking Maris's record was another NASA hoax? I knew it! Those guys (and gals!) are everywhere.

My 10th grade history class used to have a 10 minute opening time where anyone could present anything they wanted to the class. At one point the school's leading Republican took up an entire month's worth of these sessions saying that he would "prove" that the Russians' Luna 3 satellite didn't really photograph the far side of the moon. It got to be a bit tiring after the first week, but OTOH it forever immunized me from Ray-Ray's rants about the hoax of global warming.
   21. just plain joe Posted: January 04, 2012 at 05:43 PM (#4028979)
No, Buzz would have beaten him to death with a moon rock.


I for one would have paid good money to have seen that.
   22. Don Geovany Soto (chris h.) Posted: January 04, 2012 at 05:50 PM (#4028988)
Wait, what is so dumb about not knowing how big the space station is?

I knew it wasn't Fenway big, sure, but I was surprised to find out that it was only 90 feet long. The words "space station" conjure up a mental image of something much bigger. A layman wondering how the size of the space station compares to a small stadium sounds reasonable.

I was thinking more about denying the moon landing, but in fairness I didn't quote that part.

I need to pay less attention to work and more to BBTF.
   23. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: January 04, 2012 at 05:51 PM (#4028989)
I guess Steve Sax is not amused by this article.

Sax smacks back in reax to Sox flack hacks
   24. valuearbitrageur Posted: January 05, 2012 at 07:33 PM (#4029898)
"How do I know you aren't going to go tell stories about us after you're done working for us?"

"Well no one gives a #### about your company, frankly. But if they ever do, well, all bets are off!"


This is a terribly boring article that discloses virtually nothing and serves as nothing more than a sales pitch for this hacky flacks future business. If you read it carefully, the only people he throws under the bus are either powerless or have left town (Epstein, Nomah).

This is what I learned from it.

Did Henry date Playboy models? Who knows, but he's a great guy!

Was Luccino a jerk? No way many, he was brilliant, funny, and only yelled at me when I deserved it! All those nasty things you read about this wonderful man were secretly planted by Theo Epstein! Boy I loved working for Larry so much I can't wait to bill Larry for our time again!

And did I tell you I'm the guy who thought to have the ownership group walk out of meeting with press around so they looked important, and give away Fenway dirt? Yes, it was my genius!

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