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My money's on a woman that done him wrong. Or your country music cliche of choice.
"What Made Milwaukee Famous..."
Regardless, good luck, Josh.
Obviously nobody told this reporter about Ron Washington's contract extension.
I hope it isn't the latter.
Detectives believe alcohol was involved.
pu$$y
"What Made Mel Famey Walk Us..."
I think it probably depends - I know that the classic 'recovery' case is 100% cessation, and in some cases - I think it's a appropriate. I've got a good friend now seven years sober - and in his case, I know he would call having a single glass of wine a relapse and I'd concur with that. He had reached Hamiltonian levels of self-destruction professionally and his health was at the point where 'months to live' weren't idle warnings. Being intimately familiar with his drinking habits, I'm pretty sure that there would be no such thing as "one drink"... it wouldn't be a matter of self-control - one drink would inevitably end up being 15. Although he's made clear on multiple occasions that he wishes I'd feel free to have a cocktail or such with dinner if I want, I even avoid that almost absolutely.
On the other hand, I also have an acquaintance who is likewise "in recovery" - but he has the occasional drink - and generally beats himself over it afterwards, but at least from limited experience, the occasional drink ends at 1 with him. I'm not in any way qualified to say whether the absoluteness of the standard recovery program is overkill for him or not, but in his case -- if he orders a drink I would usually just say "are you sure you want to do that" whereas in the former case, I'd push a lot harder with the "Come on, you know you can't do that."
I guess I'm NOT qualified to make the call in either case, but in the case of the former - I'd be seriously concerned... but not in the latter.
And I thought his main problem was drugs, anyway.
Definitely one of the most fascinating baseball careers we've seen. Is he the best Rule V player ever? The Cubs were smart to select him, but they gave him away to the Reds for a song, and the Reds then traded him away for Edinson Volquez, who hasn't produced.
Should Texas re-sign him to a mega-deal? How do people think he will age?
What, too soon?
Johan Santana is tough competition.
Roberto Clemente is even tougher.
Living in a fantasy world, I know.
I think area man hangs out at that place
Agreed. I really hope the solution to newspapers' woes isn't to deadspun its content.
Tempting an addiction is a continual exercise in slightly moving goalposts. Each incremental move doesn't seem to matter, but eventually they can add up. This doesn't mean 100% abstinence is realistic or healthful in an absolute sense, but in a relative sense it's a huge plus to have a clear yes/no line.
Still, some have a handle on where the point of no return is, and can manage to partake in a little without it becoming a lot. If that's the case, great... but how do you know if you're "that kind" of addict**? If one is really serious about keeping an addiction at bay, arguably one doesn't want to find out.
* Other than 0% abstinence, that is.
** I know I have addictive tendencies***, and recognized it at a young age when the addictions I developed were more benign. Consequently, I've chosen to stay away from alcohol, drugs, and gambling completely because I'm pretty sure I would be self-destructive if I started. Yeah, I'm missing some good times, but I'm having good times already. I don't begrudge anyone else partaking; it's not like I'm morally opposed to it. And I can be around any of it without being tempted. (Yeah, I was drinking water at the Primer meetup in Boston. Lame.)
*** That example in my first paragraph? I've totally done that in so many parts of my life. Each time, when I go off the deep end, I tell myself, "You could have easily seen this coming, you idiot."
Weren't the rules much different then? I thought I hard heard its not like the Rule 5 now, although I could be wrong.
In modern times, its probably:
1. Johan Santana
2. Josh Hamilton
3. George Bell
4. Bobby Bonilla
5. Dan Uggla
6. Joakim Soria
Agreed. I never got into drinking either, and while I can understand why it would be fun for a lot of people, there are hundreds of other things to do that could be just as fun. It's certainly not the ONLY way to have fun like people in their teens and early 20's often seem to believe. When I was younger, friends would tell me that I didn't know what I was missing, but if you don't KNOW what you're missing, then you're not missing anything.
Wish you the best, Josh.
Nope. From the first article in a series that Steve Treder wrote for THT a few years back:
Link.
EDIT: That doesn't address your question about rule changes. As far as I know the only major change that was made was that the independent minors died (they were also subject to the draft). That's not exactly a rule change, but it did alter the draft a bit.
In modern times, its probably:
1. Johan Santana
2. Josh Hamilton
3. George Bell
4. Bobby Bonilla
5. Dan Uggla
6. Joakim Soria
Victorino could crack the list eventually.
Hope he comes out on the other side okay.
Like a fine
winewino.I got an ESPN Breaking News Alert about it. Normally those are reserved for major trades, signings, etc. It's a little weird.
Assuming that list is in order, how is Hamilton ahead of Bonilla? How is Bell ahead of either Uggla or Bonilla?
Has Kinsler been heard from? Should Beltre be sent in after him?
I saw this happen on Three's Company. Larry went to the Regal Begal to find Cindy and then disappeared himself, after which Janet sent Mr. Furley to find Larry, and Mr. Furley was summarily picked up by an undercover female vice cop and... not heard from.
I believe the thought is alcohol, while also lowering your judgment and inhibitions, acts as a catalyst for other addiction impulses. Physiological dependency on mind/mood altering substances is such that the addict is always "chasing" the high. Alcohol can help start the snow ball down the hill.
We really need more of that. Larry Hagman in the National Enquirer caught in bar taking his transplanted liver for a test drive comes to mind.
They need a "try before you buy" program.
MVP's, baby!
Well, if you're in a program encouraging 100% abstinence, such as AA, then a single drink is considered a relapse, or "slip", and the custom is to admit it at a meeting and take a white chip (typically a white plastic poker chip, interestingly enough). You're thought to be starting over, and even if you'd been sober for 25 years before your slip, you're now one day sober.
Is there a difference between a sip and a night of drunken abandon? Maybe. But the idea is that if you're in a program of 100% abstinence, and understand why in your case that's of critical importance, then something has gone significantly wrong with your thinking for you to ingest any alcohol at all.
I'd guess, and it's only a guess, that if Hamilton had a sip and then called someone in his program, he's probably a lot better off than if he'd taken his first swallow and thought, 'hey, this is a great idea', and proceeded to get hammered. A sip and a call suggests he thought that this was a bad idea for him, realized it, and wanted to stop. That's important.
I've been sober for 12 years and I've been able to go comfortably into bars and/or have dinner with folks who are drinking for the last nine of those years. My first year sober it would have been a very, very bad idea. For the next two years it just seemed safer to stay away from situations where I'd be in close proximity to alcohol. It hindered my social life somewhat, but as others have pointed out, there are a lot of things to do other than drinking, and if I start drinking again, in short order there's only going to be one thing I'm going to be doing, and that's drinking. Experience with slips after I tried to stop drinking taught me to my satisfaction that I don't have one drink. I have a dozen. But that's me. My first AA sponsor from time to time would say at meetings, and this was a fairly common refrain, "If you think you can drink safely, go ahead and try. If it doesn't work, we'll be here if you want to come back".
At the same time I've gambled a lot, have always been able to stop when I want to. Everybody's different. Some people need to abstain completely and stay fifty yards away from alcohol. Some people need to abstain but at some point can be around alcohol. Some people can go back to drinking moderately after being raging alcoholics--I mean, I've heard of this, though I never knew anyone in AA who was able to pull it off. On the other hand, someone who went to AA then began to drink again in moderation probably isn't going to come back to meetings and announce that.
Probably more than you wanted to know, but there isn't much monolithic thinking, even in an abstinence-oriented program like AA. In AA there are what we call--not entirely complimentarily--fundamentalists, who believe there's only one acceptable reading of The Big Book, that you go to six or more meetings a week, and that you devote your life to helping other alcoholics. There are also people who learn how to stay sober and drop out of the program. I haven't been to a meeting for several years and haven't felt like drinking in that time. The meetings tend strongly to be way too god oriented to be of much use to me, and that orientation in a great many meetings is strongly Christian. I'll guess that the Lord's Prayer is said at more meetings than it isn't. But, not all of them have a strong Christian orientation, and in a city like New York you wouldn't have to look to long to find a 4A meeting: Alcoholic Anonymous for Atheists and Agnostics.
My grandfather pulled this off, quit drinking for a couple years and has spent almost 50 years happy with a beer while watching the game.
I've been watching these reruns lately, what a classic show. For my money, Don Knotts is the funniest man who ever lived.
There does seem to be a point some people reach, where one drink sets up an intolerable craving for another. And another. There might well be a physical basis for that, as there was a certain type of alcoholic, well known in the program, who even after a decade of sobriety if he started drinking again would, in a couple of weeks, be back to drinking as heavily and insatiably as ever. You'd think a decade of sobriety would reset the clock, but for a lot of folks it didn't.
Hey, drinking was a lot of fun for me. I had some great times drinking. More power to your grandfather if he was able to drink safely and enjoy it.
we have different definitions of classics(unless you meant classically bad, like Showgirls, the Senators/Browns,etc)
Knotts is funny though, I'll give you that.
Another problem with it is, if someone is an alcoholic, it's in part because alcohol became a coping mechanism, often THE coping mechanism. If you give me a way to get high, a way to ease my emotional discomfort and pain without actually doing anything to address the root of that discomfort and pain, then I'm not going to do the psychological work necessary to changing. The inability to cope with certain feelings, or trauma, or stress, or simply immaturity, that led me to getting hooked on drinking is still there. I'll continue the behaviors of an active alcoholic, I just won't be actually pouring scotch down my throat. Anyone who's spent much time with an alcoholic who isn't drinking knows how unpleasant that person can be. Marijuana (or whatever) might make me feel better, but it isn't going to make me a better person to be around.
Well, if that's not already a country song it should be. Seriously, vi and SO and others, best of luck with your fight.
Somehow I could binge drink (as it's called now) in college and then go a week, two weeks or more without a drop. Although I would smoke pot I'm sure -- but occasionally I'd take self-imposed stoppage of two to three weeks from pot too, to test whether I had cravings. I was always OK. Smoking was different, I went through elaborate anti-smoking tricks to quit cold turkey (after a few failures).
Randy Galloway has been ripping Hamilton recently in the Startlegram and rips him again this morning, doing the usual "ballplayers are overpaid" shtick and warning his public about the dangers of giving addicts lots of money. I hope Hamilton is not reading this stuff; it would drive me to drink.
The classic AA definition of alcoholism is tautological. If you can control your drinking then you're not an alcoholic. If you can't, you are. AA is there for people who tried every means within their power to stop and couldn't. That's why the Higher Power is needed. It provides the strength that the alcoholic lacks. Leaving aside what's been learned about alcoholism since 1935, the AA tradition understands the disease to be two-fold: an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind. The allergy of the body manifests itself in the phenomena of craving; once that first drink is taken an overwhelming desire for drink 2 comes, followed in short order by however many get drunk until the drinking stops. This happens most often before the alcoholic is ready to stop and frequently involves others interceding. By this I mean police arresting you, bartenders refusing to serve you, passing out, running out of money, etc.
Higher Power is deliberately undefined in the literature. Most people use some form of God because that's familiar. I've got a friend who uses a poster of the Milky Way with an arrow pointing to one of billions of stars that's captioned "You Are Here". Others use AA itself. Whatever works, theological rigor is secondary to recovery. I'm going to guess that Something Other lives somewhere in the Midwest, too. A lot of AA chapters in the Midwest were set up by the first AA members coming out of Akron, who hewed to a more traditional conception of Higher Power than did those coming out of NYC. Given that Bill W. was out of NYC and came from resolute New England skeptic/agnostic stock and Dr. Bob came out of Akron with a traditional mainline Protestant orientation, this variety isn't too surprising. Anyway, in some places you'll find any reference to God frowned upon. The variety of meeting norms is interesting in and of itself.
Attitudes towards being around booze and boozers varies too. What I've been taught, and experienced, is that if I've got a good program working then I can be anywhere and I won't drink. I don't want to, and don't. If my program is awry then it doesn't matter if I'm in the middle of the Sahara Desert. I'm an alcoholic, and I'll figure out some way to get alcohol because that's my peculiar genius and insanity.
Pretty soon Nieporent is due to come along and blabber about how it's a cult that shows no statistically significantly different success than chronic masturbating as a cure does, blah, blah, blah. I find his outspokenness on the topic admirable, if similar to that of a lifelong virgin discussing the joy of butt sex; just a lot of ass-talk. Most alcoholics care much less about the means than they do the end. As the old alkys cited by SE say, do whatever you think will work. If it doesn't then AA will be there to help if you want it.
Because I put him higher.
Forget about Victorino, he should probably be on that list. And I forgot Jose Bautista was one. And Darrell Evans might be #1.
Other good ones: Jayson Werth, Bip Roberts, Fernando Vina, Paul Blair, Kelly Gruber.
Yup. It's why the drive-thru line at Taco Bell is consistently backed out to the street after 2 a.m. each weekend.
And if you're interested in learning more about how the movement and organization developed, then I recommend Kurtz's Not God.
The owner, who was friends with my parents, was a skinny drunk. He was hardly around as he was a sales guy at heart but sometimes when he was, he was stumbly-slurry drunk. Years later I ran into one of his kids who told me his Dad quit drinking after he realized that drinking wine with breakfast was a bad, bad sign.
My boss, who was head of shipping probably making 3x minimum wage, was a wiry little Irishman. Joe was around 50, had had a couple of heart attacks, had 5 kids, aging from 5 to 13 or so at the time. He would stop at the tappy at 7:00 AM, when it opened, have a "couple" and come into work by 8-ish. He'd go to the local bar for lunch and have another "couple" -- I went once or twice but spent most of my lunches playing wiffle ball. Sometimes he bring back quarts of beer. Other times, if he made a delivery, he'd stop at a bar for one or two and/or bring back a quart or two. Sometimes when I made a delivery run, he'd have me stop for him as well as the mailing and printing guys and insist on me getting a quart for myself. (I would just tell the bartender that Joe sent me and he wouldn't card me.) Some days he would send me out on a fake delivery just to pick up beer ("Don't come back too quickly, ya'hear?") The General Manager had occasional days like that and the mailing supervisor could give Joe a run for his money.
To show how times have changed (this would have been 1971), one day Joe shows up around 10:30 completely and utterly wasted. He could barely talk. The management solution -- send Joe home with a warning never to do that again. So Joe drove the 20-25 minutes home blind, stinking drunk.
The next day, Joe shows up announcing he was going cold turkey. This announcement was greeted with a loud chorus of, to put it mildly, skepticism. I regret that I wasn't supportive; I just brushed it off with a "sure, Joe" and skurried off to the little warehouse. Well, Joe was true to his word. His crutch was Pepsi. He would bring in 2 of the largest size (1 or 2 liter in the day, I can't remember) and drink that all day. Within 6 months, wiry little Joe packed on 40 pounds, looking like he was 6 months pregnant. He popped out the most prodigious belly.
I lost contact after I left. I ran into a guy from shop about 5 years later -- Joe had had another heart attack and was given months to live. He took to drinking again and spent his last few months drunk. But he had been sober up to the heart attack.
Beer is an interesting addiction, because you're not merely addicted to alcohol -- you're addicted to carbs. It's why plenty of guys who kick drinking start walking around with a bag of Twizzlers.
If this happened during March Madness or the middle of the football season maybe it's a smaller story. Even with the Super Bowl on Sunday this is a slow couple of weeks for sports (see Griffin, Blake).
Man, if I'm going to be addicted to a carb, it's going to be french fries, taste a whole lot better than beer.
But seriously, the older I get the less I understand heavy beer drinking. To get drunk on beer requires such a large volume, and is so filling/bloating, it just doesn't make sense. I mean five bourbon's on the rocks will get you drunker than ten beers, costs about the same, and you feel a lot better afterwards.
If you don't like the taste of hard alcohol, you can have mixed drinks that taste a lot better than beer.
Oh, I am not saying it works for everybody, just he is an example I know of who managed to tame his drinking problem without giving up alcohol. It helped that he switched the method of inebriation as well - he was formerly a Scotch man, but to this day hard liquor makes him sick. Now he has one or two beers and he's done for the night.
And with that you're dead to me.
You really think beer tastes better than a Manhattan or an Old Fashioned?
Hell, straight Bourbon tastes better than beer.
This sounded odd to me when I heard it, the chaperone business. I mean, hey, whatever works, but if someone's being literally chaperoned by another, literally in the physical presence of, that's unusual. It's not at all uncommon, particularly among newbies, to always know who they can call even at 4 in the morning if the urge strikes and they can't shake it off alone. From time to time someone in particularly bad shape might show up at your house for a long, long talk then crash on your couch. I even knew a guy who hadn't been able to stay sober until his sponsor took him in and let him sleep on his couch for a year. I think the sponsor actually had the guy sleep in the sponsor's car during the warm weather, just to get a little privacy. Last I knew the sponsee had been sober for fifteen years. So--whatever works.
Sugar was a big one when I was getting sober. We had a few people at meetings who'd munch on the sugar cubes meant for coffee. Ice cream was also a big one t the point where I've wondered if some sort of carb deficiency (carb processing deficiency?) might be a component of alcoholism, and in addition to whatever else it does for us it fills that hole, too. I still can easily eat a pint of ice cream a night.
I really did mean 'more power to him' in a good way. Some people can do it, and it works for them. Hope I didn't come across otherwise.
Well, I'm guessing you're not an alcoholic, so all that stuff you mentioned is secondary--to some drinkers--to the feeling of being drunk. Beer is a more controllable drunk than, say, scotch. I got to a point where I'd drink the five bourbon's on the rocks you mentioned in something like an hour, so I'd be at the ass end of a drunk before I'd really gotten started. I'd black out fairly often on hard liquor, too. I could stretch out a drunk on beer for a lot of hours, even though when it got really bad I was drinking close to a case a day.
@66: Bob, before I respond, are you really being serious there?
I really don't think I have any. I tend to overeat a little, like 80% of Americans, but no one thing.
Yes.
I've never heard of anyone who approaches reading the way you do. It is, as you say, essentially benign. How many books a year do you read? What would you do if you couldn't read?
edit: "Oh, and Jeff Passan is a self-important ass." Too true. Must be tough for Hamilton. A lot of programs teach humility, and letting go, as essential to getting and staying sober. Being a baseball god, winning an MVP, having women throw themselves at you... all those things must make it tougher. "If I can do all this, why can't I have a drink?"
Bob, you're lucky you didn't live in DC when I had my shop. You'll never know just how lucky. I bankrupted em all.
8000 books, 2500 movies, an internet connection, and a pool table on the lower level give me enough addictions for several lifetimes. Food and drink are barely an afterthought.
Any of the popular beers? Ugh.
A Manhattan or Old Fashioned made with Kessler's? Double ugh.
I used to be solidly in the "beer" category (I'd spend as much on a 12 pack as most of my friends (and all of my relatives) would spend on a fifth of alcohol) until I started drinking good liquor; now I enjoy both.
By the way, Joyce DeWitt and Suzanne Somers just did a silly "reunite" thing on Somers's internet show where they got together for the first time in 30 years. Somers read some email from a fan who asked if any of the stars hooked up during the show. Somers was like, no. DeWitt then casually gossiped that she wasn't aware at the time, but years later she learned that Ritter had romanced a number of the guest stars. (Ritter was married at the time.)
Way to ruin the man's reputation, Janet.
CSB time: Not too long after college, I met an extraordinarily smart/funny/pretty blonde girl (a cross between Debbie Harry and Elisha Cuthbert) at a Mets game. We hit it off and began dating. It quickly grew serious. A few months into the relationship, she told me that I'd actually met her right after she'd gotten out of rehab. She'd had problems with very hard drugs, which I already knew about.*
The short of it was that she could tell that she was starting to fall off the wagon, and she needed to hit the brakes on everything. Naturally, I didn't quite understand where I fit into this, particularly because the most I ever did was drink too much. That probably became taxing on her, too. To make a longs story short, we kept on seeing each other for nearly a year and she eventually did fall off the wagon, though I think she's since cleaned up. We've lost touch beyond erratic facebook postings.
As she explained it to me, most anything can trigger a relapse. Stress in particular can do it. I often wonder to what extent I contributed to her problems, and I hope it wasn't very much. She had other issues, too (most notably a vicious case of depression or bipolar disorder - it escapes my memory which it was, but she took Klonopin, Abilify and something else for it.) In the case of Hamilton, I can easily see how he found himself at a bar.
---
My question is why the Rangers/his agent are letting him out from under their thumb when it's so possible that these problems could emerge. I understand that Hamilton is an autonomous being, but now seems to me to be a really poor time to let your support system become even slightly weaker. Fortunately, it seems Kinsler was there to help avert the problem and will be on the road with Hamilton.
*She drank heavily, but claimed this had nothing to do with her predilection for harder stuff. I've since met other reformed heroin users who have told me the same. I do not understand why you'd expose yourself to that risk factor, or how it doesn't seem to make a difference. I frankly find the claim specious, and Google has done nothing to lessen my suspicion.
Any of the popular beers? Ugh.
A Manhattan or Old Fashioned made with Kessler's? Double ugh.
I used to be solidly in the "beer" category (I'd spend as much on a 12 pack as most of my friends (and all of my relatives) would spend on a fifth of alcohol) until I started drinking good liquor; now I enjoy both.
Sure, I enjoy beer as well, but I think it's much more of an acquired taste (as is hard liquor) than mixed drinks.
I can make a Manhattan that women who can't stand beer or straight booze will like. Just sweeten it up a bit more than I would prefer. It's not ideal to my taste, but still perfectly cromulent if you use good liquor.
Pretty consistently 150 books a year. (And online text – news and blogs and BBTF – and The New Yorker and various food magazines.)
If I couldn't read ... I had eye surgery last summer and went to audiobooks for a brief while. But clearly that's a pretty direct form of "reading." If I were permanently hampered from reading by eye trouble, I imagine I would collect things, assuming I had some income. That's where Andy bankrupted :) two different kinds of book-buyers: those who read constantly and those who want complete sets of everything. They aren't mutually exclusive, of course.
I'm intrigued that you see connections to true addictions. (Though I also like your word "compulsive": more general and neutral.) I had thought about this for a while but then it really came home to me when a friend who is a longtime AA participant talked about another guy who's still drinking heavily, describing the drinker's anxiety about having all the materials for staying slightly drunk laid out every evening and weekend in front of him. And I looked at my several stacks and shelves of "to-read" books ...
That's one of the beauties of AA, which some may see as a weakness. The Why is not important. The What is all important. Are you an alcoholic? If yes, then do this because it works if you do it right. Something Else is correct that it is more than a physical addiction, the physical addiction is a symptom of something more. AA sees it as a spiritual malady, which is where the Higher Power comes into play. The details are all available for free so you can look it up if you're interested.
My subjective take is that alcoholism/drug addiction is a different horse than sex/gambling/eating addictions because of the physiological components of it. This is not to deride the significance or severity of the latter in some people. It's a real issue, but I don't think one has the physical withdrawal from those that detox provides. I'll also say that I think there're qualitative differences between the personalities of alcoholics, cocaine addicts, tweakers and junkies, which is one reason why NA and AA are separate entities.
And yes, many alcoholics end up obsessing over something else when they get sober. Sugar is one thing. More significant to my mind are sex and spending. My sponsor told me that "It's always the pink or the green" that leads an alcoholic to relapse. That's why maintaining a good program of recovery is important, it helps keep from substituting one form of obsessive living for another. One final thing is that it's common for alcoholics to say that AA has taught them something they didn't know before, which is how to live. Most alcoholic lives are stunted or blunted. Not drinking is a first step; learning how to live a meaningful life is the rest of the game. That's what getting sober means.
Sounds like bipolar to me. Klonopin is fairly heavy-duty, if memory serves -- I was taken off it for Depakote back in the day by a shrink who didn't think I should be doing the work I did (editing) under its influence.
It was mostly the first group I sent to the pawnbrokers. The saddest group consisted of people whose spouses (mostly wives, but a few husbands) gave them the old "it's me or these books" ultimatum. Fortunately, my wife was previously my best customer, and no hypocrite. I even had to put a photo of her behind the desk, with a caption reading "MY WIFE---NOT A SHOPLIFTER"....
I'm not really sure whether I'd call reading an "addiction". Book collecting, maybe, but even there I think you have to distinguish between people who collect specifically chosen books out of a wish to master a particular subject or subjects, and people who just buy books because they happen to be in a book shop and the books are cheap. It's not always easy to tell these two types apart until you see the end result of what they've actually bought, but when I'd go to nearby houses with thousands of books and didn't recognize the person selling them, unless it was a person who only bought new books, it was almost always a case of random accumulation, and I'd find very few books worth buying.
How did she afford Abilify, at $1 million/year?
On the other hand, there's the phenomenon of the "functional alcoholic." My family has one, a guy that starts drinking when he wakes up in the morning and is drunk every night, but has somehow had a very successful career. He's a placid drunk, and he hasn't had any broken personal relationships because of his drinking. It's a minor problem that is omnipresent, but rarely big enough to cause more than mild embarrassment.
150 books a year? I'm pretty sure that puts you in the 1%. :)
With the caveat that my experience is only my own, and I can't presume to speak for someone else... I don't think I ever really tried not to drink once I was in a bar, so I can't speak directly to your question. Obliquely, the feeling, very generally, at the meetings I went to and the recovering alcoholics I spoke with, was that "near beers" weren't a very good idea. At the same time, most of us were aiming for a life without alcohol, and the topics were much more on the order of how to stay out of situations that would lead us to drink, rather than what to drink once we were in those situations.
At meetings people would talk about things like how they handled going to their work Christmas party that was being held at a local bar. Stop in, have a way out, your own transportation home so you didn't get stuck, leave if you felt uncomfortable, have a ready reason/excuse for leaving if you did feel uncomfortable, definitely don't stay in close proximity to alcohol because of peer or social pressures... in short, people didn't talk about having an O'Doul's as satisfying the urge without getting drunk, they talked about satisfying the urge by going to a meeting, calling a fellow recovering alcholic, connecting with a Higher Power, that kind of thing. Most of the people I knew in recovery, if they were going for an O'Doul's because they wanted the taste of beer, would have considered themselves to be well on the way to a slip. The question would be along the lines of, "Wait a sec, if I know how much alcohol hurts me, why am I reintroducing the taste of it into my life?"
So, longwindedly, I guess that means I really don't know which--soda or near beer--an active alcoholic would prefer, or which would be better for them to try. Does your friend want to stop drinking?
Yup--a lot of alcoholics are functional alcoholics for awhile, and there are certainly some that can do it for decades. I got my bachelor's and master's as a functioning alcoholic. Had a very nice girlfriend, never hit her, never came close to hitting her, never drank before 5 pm, did a lot of teaching, paid my bills, all that good stuff.
Collecting old, bad movies?
With the appropriate caveats, and having no idea how much I agree with the below, as a point of departure here's what the wiki has to say about addiction:
Bob--here's a relevant question: Do you still enjoy reading?
Collecting old, bad movies?
Considering the source, that's a straight line that's hard to resist, but I will.
Meh. I've done this many times, and as long as no one is harrassing you about it (which doesn't happen much anymore now that I'm in my 30's, but amongst the high school and college crowd it was very common), it's never been a big deal to me. I can still be outgoing and have fun in social situations just as easily with a soda as others could with a beer. Some of the "fun" people have when they're drunk is psychological, anyway. I've been to parties before where the hosts served virgin drinks (without telling people that they were) and people were still being loud and acting silly like they were buzzed.
I think that's the really important part of the definition. It's an activity you engage in despite the fact that it is manifestly bad for your life.
Of course, I am not speaking with any authority on the subject.
With the same, well-stated caveats in place... Regarding O'Doul's, I'm with you. Plus there's a 0.5% level of alcohol in the non-alcoholic beers, so why tempt fate? Regarding being in social situations where alcohol is served... I had a couple of relapses on the road to recovery. Neither one had to do with being in a bar or setting with alcohol. Each had everything to do with my state of mind, which was generally bitter, angry and resentful about different aspects of my life. The Big Book promises that if you follow the steps the compulsion to drink will be lifted. In my case, it did, somewhere around the fourth or fifth month of working the steps. I'm not stupid about it though, and I don't take it for granted. All it takes is one second to lift a glass to my lips and my time is up, ready to begin again when I finally put it down. If I finally put it down. Sobriety is a daily reprieve, contingent on maintaining a state of being that's conducive to staying sober. I don't know how else to put it.
I was one for many years, until I wasn't. I loved alcohol, everything about it. It made me feel great. And one day it didn't make me feel great, but I figured that if I kept at it enough it would give me that same feeling again. Years (hell, decades) later I realized that it would never make me feel great again, and that my life had diminished to the point where it was just me and the booze that I couldn't put down. So for whatever reason I sought help, and it was there. I don't think I'm hyperbolizing when I say that my Higher Power and AA saved my life.
Just ask Christopher Moltisanti.
You mean until they start porking each other?
My father is/was an alcoholic. His parents were, too; bad ones. (My grandfather tried to eat a doily at my folks' wedding, he was so hammered.) It was certainly screwing up my dad's life, and I guess my mom finally gave him the ultimatum: stop or I'm gone, and I'm taking the baby (me). And...he stopped. Just stopped. No idea how he did it. He doesn't like to go into detail (he's that way about everything); he just said he realized he couldn't do it anymore. He did the same thing with smoking: just quit. He's never slipped on either. I have a lot of issues with the man, but I've always admired him for that, mostly because I have no ####### idea how he pulled it off.
I know I have addictive tendencies. I smoked for 30 years, and I know that's different as it doesn't impair you the way other things do, but it was destroying my health and yet I couldn't stop. My wife smoked too, which made it that much worse. We didn't smoke in the house (asthmatic daughter; we didn't smoke anywhere near her), so we'd sit outside on the porch. It became a habit: we were always alone, so we'd do most of our parental talking during these moments. Giving that up was hard. Also, my wife had a MUCH tougher time giving them up, so even when I did try to quit, there'd always be cigarettes around.
Really, it took a (small) heart attack, and a cardiologist telling me that either I quit or I die.
But other things have shown me what kind of trouble I could be in. I have trouble stopping things, you see. I can go weeks/months without a drink, but if I start having one, I want another...and another. And another. I'm no good with moderation, so it's actually easier for me to avoid things I shouldn't over-do altogether than to try and do them in moderation.
And I do have these issues with non-chemicals, too. Beyond food, I've had moderation issues with collecting, gaming...you name it. I'm aware of this, so again either I find ways to force moderation or I avoid altogether.
Those stories always blow my mind. Willpower isn't one of my good things, so it's awe-inspiring to me when someone just up and does something like that.
I can recommend my path to absolutely no one. I went to my first AA meeting, was surprised at how many clean, nice looking people were there, bought the Big Book, hung out for an hour after the meeting and talked and listened to the friendly people, and went home, cracked a beer and got thoroughly drunk. Woke up the next day, hungover, miserable, unchanged, but I did have a goal, since I had nothing whatsoever else to do, which was to stay sober until 8 pm and go to that evening's meeting. And that's more or less what I did for the next couple of months. I went to something like sixty meetings in seventy days, and got drunk after every single one of them. It took me that long to go 24 hours without a drink. I didn't tell anyone I was still drinking. I would have felt foolish and embarrassed enough that I knew I'd stop going to meetings.
But, eventually, something clicked, and I stayed sober for a whopping eight days, which was on the order of fishes and loaves for me. Then got into a fight with my new AA girlfriend (that suggestion to stay out of romantic relationships the first year of sobriety was for weaker souls than mine!) and having no other tools with which to deal with the pain, promptly got drunk. But, as they also suggested, I kept coming back to meetings, and eventually I got three months sober, got drunk (another relationship fiasco), got eight/nine months sober, got drunk, and eventually got a year, then another, and another.
Oddest moment in sobriety: Four or five years sober, I was at a New Year's Eve party. A truly stunning woman I knew a little bit through a friend was there as well, unattended. We wound up spending a couple of hours in the laundry room, talking, with me pouring her drinks from the bottle of champagne she had brought to the party. I had no urge at all to drink that evening. It turned into a remarkable week and a treasured memory. Go figure.
Boy is that familiar. Even with basic things. I pick up a book, I want to read it cover to cover. I start cleaning, I want to clean the entire house.
Huh--I had no idea they had any alcohol at all. Good to know. Are you sponsoring anyone these days?
Great story, by the way.
Porking each other? How can they consent in such a state?
You mean until they start porking each other?
But doesn't that stop being fun when you wake up the next morning and reailze the girl you're lying next to is closer to Roseanne Barr than Angelina Jolie? :)
Hence the use of the word "porking"
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