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Thursday, April 19, 2012

Frank Deford: Behind irrepressible Ozzie Guillen, Marlins are as wild, zany as ever

Zany? I haven’t heard zany used since we tried to steal a Jerry Lewis’ Hellzapoppin’ poster from an overnight boarded-up Minskoff Theatre!

Can I give you a word I love that you just don’t hear anymore?

Zany.

It used to be that all kinds of stuff was described as “zany,” but it seems to have mostly gone out for fancier words like “dysfunctional.”

Now, I bring this up because most sports franchises are pretty standard issue. Oh, some are rich, some poor, some win, some lose, but only one currently, to my mind, descends to the dear old level of zany. That is the Miami Marlins, formerly the Florida Marlins, or, now, as I like to call them, given their location in Little Havana, the Los Zanyos.

...Look, so many famous people are interviewed every day that, by the laws of chance, a certain number are bound to say something they kinda sorta really didn’t mean to put it in that context. OK, fair enough. But: “I love Fidel Castro?” This is like saying, “Bring back polio,” or “Hooray for fire, plague and pestilence.” Talk about terrifying the fish.

Also, for the fifth year in a row the Marlins have a new motto—all of which have been singularly dull. May I suggest for 2013 just, “Here are your zany Miami Marlins.” Or, “Aqui, Cubanos amigos: Los Zanyos.”

Repoz Posted: April 19, 2012 at 06:26 AM | 28 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: history, miami

Reader Comments and Retorts

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   1. Leroy Kincaid Posted: April 19, 2012 at 07:30 AM (#4110334)
Can I give you a word I love that you just don’t hear anymore?

Zany.


Dammit. Give me a chance to answer.
   2. Rants Mulliniks (formerly Cold Prosimian) Posted: April 19, 2012 at 09:52 AM (#4110404)
I'll tell you a word you don't hear anymore, and that's forbear / forbearance. I just read Gulliver's Travels and I but those words are in that book 100 times.
   3. McCoy Wilfong for Money Posted: April 19, 2012 at 09:57 AM (#4110407)
Marlins are coming to town next week and staying with us so hopefully I'll get to see just how zany they are.
   4. The Mohole* of David Wells (* - Piehole) Posted: April 19, 2012 at 12:11 PM (#4110525)
I swear Repoz is Thomas Pynchon.
   5. Ray (RDP) Posted: April 19, 2012 at 12:17 PM (#4110533)
Not heard anymore: the sound of a car backfiring. They're just so well designed now.

In tv shows or movies from the 70s, they will always be confusing cars backfiring for gunshots. No more. Now we know the sound we just heard is an assassin's bullet.

---

Also, with the proliferation of ipods and such, watches have become utterly unnecessary. (Not that I ever wore one.) People are carrying around perfectly sync'd time pieces with them. Even clocks are basically unnecessary now, as there are a number of things in your home (set top box, computer, etc.) that display the correct time.
   6. Crispix Attacks 2: Swag Airlines Posted: April 19, 2012 at 12:22 PM (#4110537)
"zany as ever"?

The only Marlins team I can remember being even close to zany was the two years with Jim Leyland as manager, and as far as individual players contributing to the zaniness of baseball there was Dontrelle Willis and ..... Cliff Floyd? They traditionally do not have that much personality. Josh Johnson must be one of the most anonymous perennial Cy Young candidates ever.
   7. The Long Arm of Rudy Law Posted: April 19, 2012 at 12:28 PM (#4110544)
I'll tell you a word you don't hear anymore, and that's forbear / forbearance.


Another one: Mulliniks. And the world is much poorer for it.
   8. Hack Wilson Posted: April 19, 2012 at 12:59 PM (#4110574)
I used the phrase 23 skidoo recently (in discussing the Flatiron Building) and no one had ever heard the phrase.
   9. phredbird Posted: April 19, 2012 at 01:02 PM (#4110578)
Also, with the proliferation of ipods and such, watches have become utterly unnecessary.


runners and other athletes find them handy for timing workouts/laps/etc., especially those triathlon watches with chronometers as a feature ... but otherwise, ya, seems like its easy to go without one with all the other gizmos around.
   10. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: April 19, 2012 at 01:09 PM (#4110584)
Even clocks are basically unnecessary now, as there are a number of things in your home (set top box, computer, etc.) that display the correct time.


That's true but I can't imagine a room in my house without a clock (other than the bathroom). A nice clock really looks good on the wall or mantlepiece.
   11. spike Posted: April 19, 2012 at 02:53 PM (#4110709)
I am positive there once was a time when Deford was a relevant writer, but it's starting to get very hazy now.
   12. Rants Mulliniks (formerly Cold Prosimian) Posted: April 19, 2012 at 03:04 PM (#4110723)
Another one: Mulliniks. And the world is much poorer for it.


If that's come as a result of him not having a job in the Jays booth this year, fine with me!
   13. Walks Clog Up the Bases Posted: April 19, 2012 at 07:29 PM (#4110957)
Ozzie made an already irritating game even worse this afternoon by impersonating TLR once he got into the bullpen so he could match up against the likes of Ian Stewart in non-leverage situations.
   14. andrewberg Posted: April 19, 2012 at 07:38 PM (#4110962)
Not heard anymore: the sound of a car backfiring. They're just so well designed now.

In tv shows or movies from the 70s, they will always be confusing cars backfiring for gunshots. No more. Now we know the sound we just heard is an assassin's bullet.


Best thing I've read all day. Got me out of my Levon Helm funk.
   15. tshipman Posted: April 19, 2012 at 07:38 PM (#4110963)
One thing I've never quite understood: watches for men as a fashion accessory. I know people who wear watches that don't work because they think they look good. What is that all about?
   16. gef the talking mongoose Posted: April 19, 2012 at 07:40 PM (#4110966)
Also, with the proliferation of ipods and such, watches have become utterly unnecessary. (Not that I ever wore one.) People are carrying around perfectly sync'd time pieces with them.me.


Whereas I, of course, would no more leave the house without a watch than I would leave it with an iPod, cell phone or any other such implement of depravity.
   17. gef the talking mongoose Posted: April 19, 2012 at 07:45 PM (#4110969)
I know people who wear watches that don't work because they think they look good. What is that all about?


It's about how you apparently know (more than?) your share of absolute idiots. If you ever find yourself with a chance to push them in front of onrushing vehicles, you might want to seriously consider it, just to safeguard the gene pool.
   18. Monty Posted: April 19, 2012 at 07:47 PM (#4110970)
I know people who wear watches that don't work because they think they look good. What is that all about?


Well, do you hate people who hate bracelets? These are just bracelets with a clock face on them.
   19. Crispix Attacks 2: Swag Airlines Posted: April 19, 2012 at 07:48 PM (#4110971)
I think a watch without a clock face is more like a "strap" than a "bracelet". Wear your straps in private at home.
   20. gef the talking mongoose Posted: April 19, 2012 at 07:57 PM (#4110974)

Well, do you hate people who hate bracelets? These are just bracelets with a clock face on them.


The monitor I'm reading this on is just a TV without a TV, I guess.

Also, the cat sitting on top of my CPU tower is just a dog without any dog parts.

And I'm responding to a post that's really a book, except with several dozen thousand fewer words.

This is fun!
   21. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: April 19, 2012 at 08:15 PM (#4110977)
I've pretty much always worn a watch despite the fact that I sit in front of a computer for 10 hours a day and carry two cell phones around with me at all times. When I'm not in front of the computer, it's easier to look at my wrist than take out my phone. I also like the way it looks -- a nice watch can add a lot from a fashion standpoint while still being appropriately conservative.

I mean, ties, cufflinks, pocketsquares, and all jewelry basically serve no purpose anymore, but people still wear them. A watch at least serves a purpose.
   22. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: April 19, 2012 at 08:19 PM (#4110979)
Behind irrepressible Ozzie Guillen, Marlins are as wild, zany as ever

You know who I bet could repress Ozzie Guillen?

Fidel Castro, that's who.
   23. rlc Posted: April 19, 2012 at 08:21 PM (#4110981)
One thing I've never quite understood: watches for men as a fashion accessory. I know people who wear watches that don't work because they think they look good. What is that all about?


That one is a puzzler, because neck ties and earrings and other fashion accessories serve so many useful functions...
   24. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: April 19, 2012 at 08:48 PM (#4110986)
I used the phrase 23 skidoo recently (in discussing the Flatiron Building) and no one had ever heard the phrase.

Aw, applesauce! Who doesn't like to glue their peepers onto a frail's hotsy-totsy chassis? It's the darb!
   25. Lassus Posted: April 19, 2012 at 10:12 PM (#4111024)
I know people who wear watches that don't work because they think they look good. What is that all about?

Um. Didn't you, er, answer your own question here?
   26. Walt Davis Posted: April 19, 2012 at 11:45 PM (#4111058)
popinjay -- don't hear that much. I vote we're better off that way.

The only fashion accessory I care about is a watch ... and good-looking watches are damned hard to find these days (assuming you have taste). I bought myself a lovely, minimalist Skagen with poker winnings in Melbourne -- I highly recommend that.*

* You get killed on exchange rates and fees, especially for cash. Spend it while you're there. If NZ Customs or Inland Revenue are reading this post, of course I declared it!
   27. Golfing Great Mitch Cumstein Posted: April 19, 2012 at 11:51 PM (#4111061)
Watches are also signals. How much can you afford to put on your wrist.

But I agree with others. I recently won a nice steel watch that is very easy to put on and it is much easier to look at than a cellphone.
   28. Ron J Posted: April 20, 2012 at 12:18 AM (#4111072)
#19. Depending on the type of strap it might be useful in hand to hand combat. Since you just never know when you might be fighting for your life ....

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