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Friday, April 11, 2014

Frank Deford: Bud Selig and Derek Jeter: Time To Root, Root, Root For Final Innings

Don’t experiment…just buy Deford!

It should be Derek Selig and Bud Jeter. After all, the Yankee captain - listed as the 11th greatest leader in the world by Fortune magazine, in what is surely the most asinine poll ever concocted - is the ultimate buddy. Everybody loves him, even Yankee haters. He can doeth no wrong.

But really, like the commissioner, Captain Jeter is not so much a traditional leader as he is a cohesive force. He succeeded Cal Ripken as the perfect counterpoint to all the muscle-bound brutes who poisoned baseball. He’s not a slugger, not ever controversial. He’s polite, handsome and like Selig, Jeter - to use an old-fashioned term - is old-fashioned.

Yes, Selig was lucky that a better kind of ball yard was constructed in Baltimore. If Yankee Stadium was the house that Ruth built, Camden Yards would become the smaller, new condominium model for the sport all across the country. And yes, Selig was blind to steroids for far too long. But give him his due: When at last the mote fell from his eye, he acted with vengeance.

But then, too, Jeter caught on faster about something else. When Selig’s first wife left him, she told the court: From the day that Bud became involved in baseball, he divorced me and married baseball. Jeter, meanwhile, continues to romance a succession of beautiful women, but it is only to shortstop that he has ever been wed. For one more season: Take me out to the ballgame.

Repoz Posted: April 11, 2014 at 07:25 AM | 41 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: yankees

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Statements posted here are those of our readers and do not represent the BaseballThinkFactory. Names are provided by the poster and are not verified. We ask that posters follow our submission policy. Please report any inappropriate comments.

   1. eddieot Posted: April 11, 2014 at 08:53 AM (#4684302)
I just threw up in my mouth.
   2. A Fatty Cow That Need Two Seats Posted: April 11, 2014 at 09:04 AM (#4684314)
what
   3. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: April 11, 2014 at 09:05 AM (#4684315)
Deford 2014 on Jeter 2014: game recognize game. Okay, so it's mumblety-peg.
   4. Rants Mulliniks Posted: April 11, 2014 at 09:16 AM (#4684322)
I RTFA, and its no more sensible as a whole than this excerpt. Retire Frank, and get a hair cut while you're at it.
   5. nick swisher hygiene Posted: April 11, 2014 at 09:38 AM (#4684334)
the Yankee captain - listed as the 11th greatest leader in the world by Fortune magazine, in what is surely the most asinine poll ever concocted

well, this sounds like a reasonable description.....but I guess the piece goes all downhill from there?
   6. The Id of SugarBear Blanks Posted: April 11, 2014 at 09:46 AM (#4684339)
The problem here is that Frank Deford is a sports romantic and there really isn't much romance left in sports. A primary culprit for that unfortunate development is Bud Selig. And so most sports romantics are left to cling to people like Derek Jeter and they're left with no way out but to distort his career and legacy beyond recognition.

An homage to them from someone like Deford is going to inevitably be a garbled mess, and not surprisingly this was.
   7. Jack Keefe Posted: April 11, 2014 at 09:46 AM (#4684340)
Al these primmates can not see what Frank The Fork is saying so I must parapraise Al. You see there is a short stop for us Yanks and he is Jeter youve heard of him and also Bud Selleck. Well these 2 are a Madge maid in Heaven because they are guys who love base ball and chase Tale. And think of it Al wouldnt Ed Musky have been a grate President. Now when you go to tie a square knot you have two ends of Roap but they are both round and the hardest thing to do in base ball is that you cant Steel First Base. The problem with America is that you cant get a good Five Cent Cigar hell youre lucky to get out of the Cigar Shop without dropping a C note and thats before Sails Tacks. This is Frank the Fork for Empty R Radio saying if you cant get the USP in the hole just turn it around three times and enjoy the Masters every body.
   8. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: April 11, 2014 at 09:50 AM (#4684345)
Wait...are Derek Jeter and Bud Selig having an affair with each other?
   9. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: April 11, 2014 at 09:53 AM (#4684348)
Wait...are Derek Jeter and Bud Selig having an affair with each other?

If Jeter will agree to include a salary cap in the gift basket, I think Bud would be up for it.
   10. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: April 11, 2014 at 09:57 AM (#4684351)
Bud Selig is like Janet from The Rocky Horror Picture Show: "I don't like a man with... too many muscles."
   11. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: April 11, 2014 at 10:00 AM (#4684354)
Just one big one?
   12. SoCalDemon Posted: April 11, 2014 at 10:17 AM (#4684376)
Cal Ripken as the perfect counterpoint to all the muscle-bound brutes who poisoned baseball


Um, wasn't Cal Ripken viewed as kind of a Goliath in his day, at least as far at SS went?
   13. Bourbon Samurai Posted: April 11, 2014 at 10:28 AM (#4684387)
Um, wasn't Cal Ripken viewed as kind of a Goliath in his day, at least as far at SS went?


Yeah, nobody could believe somebody that big could be a succesful shortstop. He kind of broke the Davey Concepcion/Mark Belanger paradigm.
   14. JE (Jason) Posted: April 11, 2014 at 10:39 AM (#4684399)
Wait...are Derek Jeter and Bud Selig having an affair with each other?

And Frank Deford wants in.
   15. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: April 11, 2014 at 10:52 AM (#4684407)
And Frank Deford wants in.


For those of us who hadn't threw up in their mouths: Bud Selig, Frank Deford and Derek Jeter three-way.
   16. Rants Mulliniks Posted: April 11, 2014 at 11:36 AM (#4684453)
Yeah, but its not gay if its in a three way.
   17. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: April 11, 2014 at 11:47 AM (#4684465)
I'm pretty sure one of the three has to be chick for that argument to apply.
   18. Koot Posted: April 11, 2014 at 12:21 PM (#4684492)
Ever listen to Michael Kay carry on about Jeter? I know the guy is married and has a beautiful wife. I just assume he's a Jetersexual.
   19. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: April 11, 2014 at 12:26 PM (#4684497)
I'm pretty sure one of the three has to be chick for that argument to apply.

Bad experiences, huh? Sooey, Georgia Boy, sooey!
   20. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: April 11, 2014 at 12:31 PM (#4684500)
Bad experiences, huh? Sooey, Georgia Boy, sooey!


I realize you would die in three days if you didn't have access to a bodega and mass transit, but Jesus. Pigs are mean and will bite anything they can get to. Not pleasantly, like that dom-for-hire girl that lives down in 242, but to remove it and eat it. You #### the sheep. Moron.
   21. Shooty Survived the Shutdown of '14! Posted: April 11, 2014 at 12:32 PM (#4684501)
Pigs are mean and will bite anything they can get to.

Feature or bug?
   22. A triple short of the cycle Posted: April 11, 2014 at 12:58 PM (#4684511)
Doesn't it also matter, if the sheep you're having sex with is a male or female?
   23. Srul Itza Posted: April 11, 2014 at 01:27 PM (#4684528)
I am reminded now of the U. Utah Phillips line that Utah is the place where you can only get virgin wool from the sheep that can outrun the Mormons and Republicans.
   24. jacksone (AKA It's OK...) Posted: April 11, 2014 at 02:35 PM (#4684569)

I realize you would die in three days if you didn't have access to a bodega and mass transit, but Jesus. Pigs are mean and will bite anything they can get to. Not pleasantly, like that dom-for-hire girl that lives down in 242, but to remove it and eat it. You #### the sheep. Moron.


Now that is a fine rejoinder. Well played, very well played.
   25. Moeball Posted: April 11, 2014 at 03:11 PM (#4684589)
Wait...are Derek Jeter and Bud Selig having an affair with each other?


Well...I have a very strange wife who insists her gaydar goes off the charts every time she sees Jeter. She says the endless procession of women is a cover...but what's in the gift baskets gives some of it away.

With both Jeter and Selig singing their swan songs this year I'm afraid we'll see a lot of nauseating articles like this one with people fawning all over them. Maybe they should just combine their names already and call them "JeSel".
   26. base ball chick Posted: April 11, 2014 at 03:21 PM (#4684604)
jeter has long since become one of those BITGOD guys the media worships - plays the game the RIGHT way. like, say, everyone not named puig or trout or harper plays the game the WRONG way

it's the media's own fault for going along with bud selig and removing every last bit of romance from baseball/ballplayers. so i got no sympathy with them at ALL.

and youse guys and your romances with pigs n sheep n chickens - jeez
us grrls prefer our romances with grady sizemore

and i would not be surprised at ALL if jeter is bi/gay
   27. cercopithecus aethiops Posted: April 11, 2014 at 03:29 PM (#4684608)
I wouldn't be at all surprised if Jeter and Grady Sizemore are both bi/gay.

But if Jeter is gay, then I'd say we need to rethink the notion that the press stopped covering up juicy tidbits about athletes' personal lives a few decades ago.
   28. BDC Posted: April 11, 2014 at 03:34 PM (#4684617)
what's in the gift baskets gives some of it away

The Streisand CDs?
   29. The Yankee Clapper Posted: April 11, 2014 at 04:08 PM (#4684653)
I'm not sure which would be most upsetting to the Jeter-haters (detractors?), his succeeding Selig as Commissioner or fulfilling his ambition to own a MLB team (I hear the Mets have some money issues).
   30. Jim Kaat on a hot Gene Roof Posted: April 11, 2014 at 05:12 PM (#4684719)
I'm not a strident Jeter hater; to me he's just another Damn Yankee. But there is something weird and plastic about him that I can't quite articulate. I just feel he's hiding something awful and of course I don't mean homosexuality, which is of course benign. Maybe something more Troy McClure-ish. I admit the gift basket stories inevitably remind me of Lavrentiy Beria's infamous bouquets. Yes, that's terrible of me but there it is. Maybe he's a Reptilian?
   31. Juan Uribe Marching and Chowder Society Posted: April 11, 2014 at 05:35 PM (#4684754)
Jim Kaat on a hot Gene Roof


Nice handle.
   32. Juan Uribe Marching and Chowder Society Posted: April 11, 2014 at 05:36 PM (#4684756)
like, say, everyone not named puig or trout or harper plays the game the WRONG way


This makes no sense.

I think the media kneejerk is that Trout plays the RIGHT way and Harper is LEARNING to shut his mouth and play the RIGHT way and Puig is ALL WRONG.
   33. cercopithecus aethiops Posted: April 11, 2014 at 05:55 PM (#4684765)
I just feel he's hiding something awful


Yes, he's hiding the awful truth that when it comes to all the character BS that the press loves to fetishize about, he is pretty much just like any other ballplayer.
   34. Barnaby Jones Posted: April 11, 2014 at 07:08 PM (#4684809)
Do you want the awful truth, or do you want to see this ineffective jump throw?
   35. base ball chick Posted: April 11, 2014 at 07:21 PM (#4684817)
agree that jeter appears weird and plastic, and that, besides the media obsession with him for reasons i do not get, is why i don't like his persona

i mean, he IS a great player, but not the god he gets portrayed as

the media seems to pretty much ignore trout, they hate puig and snipe at harper. they complain about him no matter what he does. even when he first came up and stole hom against the PV who had plunked him to get him on base in the first place (which was great)
   36. The Yankee Clapper Posted: April 11, 2014 at 07:55 PM (#4684836)
I admit the gift basket stories inevitably remind me. . .

You guys do realize that the gift basket nonsense is based on a single NY Post Page Six item that relied on an anonymous "basket recipient" who was allegedly miffed at receiving the same basket twice, i.e. not being recognized the second time around? Could be true, but it's not exactly established fact.
   37. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: April 11, 2014 at 08:18 PM (#4684841)
Doesn't it also matter, if the sheep you're having sex with is a male or female?


Depends on preference. It's really up to ewe.
   38. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: April 12, 2014 at 01:42 AM (#4684937)
This wild and woolly speculation explains why Jeter has to be announced by a Sheppard.
   39. Barnaby Jones Posted: April 12, 2014 at 03:34 AM (#4684951)
Depends on preference. It's really up to ewe.


BOOOOOOOO-urns.
   40. RMc is a fine piece of cheese Posted: April 12, 2014 at 10:15 AM (#4684995)
The problem here is that Frank Deford is a sports romantic and there really isn't much romance left in sports.

Was there ever? I mean, for people over the age of 12 or so?
   41. Srul Itza Posted: April 12, 2014 at 03:21 PM (#4685098)
and i would not be surprised at ALL if jeter is bi/gay


Jeter coming out would be the best thing ever. Better even than him being caught doing steroids.

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