I've seen this at Royals games and I think I saw it in a Diamondbacks highlight. It seems to be a thing now.

I think Homer Simpson bought one when he went to the game with Ned Flanders.

Nacho, Nacho Man. I want to be a Nacho Man.

Nacho, Nacho Man. I want to be a Nacho Man.

This is the universal longing of all men of good breeding.

A history of ballpark nachos: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/the-history-of-baseball-stadium-nachos-53046650/

When I went to the Nats game last week I saw that they had sushi. Didn't order it but it didn't look bad and at $8 it didn't look unreasonably priced. Though the rolls did look smaller than a typical sushi place's rolls. Other than that I didn't see any new concoctions at the ballpark. Newly opened Bluejacket, on the otherhand, is a great place for a beer.

I think Homer Simpson bought one when he went to the game with Ned Flanders.

He had a hat made of nacho chips, with cheese poured in the top (IIRC).

This looks delicious, although I assume the chips near the bottom would be a soggy mess. That's my only real issue with nachos - if you get them with the cheese on the side, so you can control your cheese distribution and avoid the oversaturated, limp chip problem, then they're terrific.

This looks delicious, although I assume the chips near the bottom would be a soggy mess. That's my only real issue with nachos - if you get them with the cheese on the side, so you can control your cheese distribution and avoid the oversaturated, limp chip problem, then they're terrific.

So you are saying that a Sombrero is probably the best way to have a nacho hat.

Also from that episode.

That's right, Shooty.

Whenever I see the word nacho in print, or hear the word spoken, my mind immediately springs forward to thoughts about proper breeding.
And grooming,

For us kids who grew up in the 1950's, or BN (before nachos) we felt the same way about Spam.
Still do.

"Spam, spam, spam, eggs and spam"!

If Spam nachos aren't a thing, they should be.

If Spam nachos aren't a thing, they should be.

I can say with certainty that Spachos would be the vilest thing on the planet.

They have this at Tropicana Field as well...somewhat cheaper ($12 I think), and it's actually pretty tasty (as long as you're splitting it with someone, or at least not eating the whole thing).

'You will be called stitchface'

All of the major arteries are always clogged outside Yankee Stadium. Why shouldn't the same be true inside the stadium?

I'd eat it.

I can say from personal observation that nachos are a favorite weakness of Tony Gwynn's. Have seen him chow down on them many times before Aztec games. Not sure how many pounds of his girth they represent but it's substantial.

My own weakness at Padres games is the Phil's BBQ which is just heavenly. If it wasn't already my #1 choice at games before, it distanced itself from other concession stands here because they use Phil's actual employees...and not the stadium concession employees who are...not sure how to describe it.

Let's put it this way - so far this year, at every Padres game I've been to (like half a dozen) -if you order food at a regular concession stand, you know - a hot dog, a burger, whatever - the time to get your food - not starting from having to wait in a long line, but the time between actually ordering the food and actually receiving the food - has often been almost half an hour. That's inexcusable. I've talked to several other people and they have experienced the same thing. The concession stands are horribly disorganized. I ordered a slider, watched the guy grill the meat, pull it off the grill...then it was another 20 minutes before the buns and fixings showed up - by which time the meat, of course, was cold. Abysmal. Imagine standing in line for almost half an hour with people asking you "Excuse me, are you in line?" To which all you can reply is "No, just STILL waiting for my order".

It took my wife 15 minutes just to get a glass of wine. It's really bad this year. I don't know why it would take so much longer than past years, but it seems to be the way it is.

So I'm becoming a regular Phil's BBQ customer as, at least when I get food there, I'm ordering, paying for and receiving food all within 5 minutes, which is as it should be.

Now that I think of it - question for Primates in other cities - the Padres have gone electronic this year. I no longer have to bring tickets to the game, I just have a card they scan to let me in the games. Have any other teams done this? Are we ahead of or behind the curve in other cities?

What is the profit margin on something like that? It's very cheap, easy to prepare food, that is easy to serve up fast in an inexpensive mass produced stamped piece of plastic. For $20?

What is the profit margin on something like that? It's very cheap, easy to prepare food, that is easy to serve up fast in an inexpensive mass produced stamped piece of plastic. For $20?

Depends on how many fingers are in, um, the hat. I've never seen one of these creations so I don't know what all is in the hat or how large it is but I wouldn't be shocked if the actual food part of this cost between 1 to 2 dollars. The hat itself is probably several times more expensive than the actual food that is in it. After those things I don't really know the other costs. Labor, taxes, lease agreements, utilities, licensing, so on and so on.

I had one of those at US Cellular... well our friend bought it, and we helped her eat it... I don't know how much it cost. It was pretty impressive though.

Coors Field has "monster chicken nachos," I assume other places do...it's a huge amount of food, sort of like this. But not in a helmet bowl, so nowhere near $20, and there's chicken on it.

In Arlington we have "The Chipper," a big bowl of nacho with potato instead of corn chips. I had it once. Vile. And no hat.

http://greatideas.people.com/2014/03/31/crazy-baseball-stadium-concession-snacks/?xid=rss-topheadlines

This season, you’ll find everything from fried chicken and waffles to a 3-pound hot dog at baseball stadiums across the country, where concession stands are one-upping each other with massive fried, stuffed and smothered grub.

In honor of Opening Day on Monday, check out six of the wildest stadium snacks available now. There’s no crying in baseball, but there may be cramps.

Does the helmet only come in one size? (I'm asking for a friend.)

Does the helmet only come in one size? (I'm asking for a friend.)

They range in size, from Otis Nixon up to Kevin Mench. The Mench is only recommended for the heartiest of eaters.

What I'm wondering is how long does it take to get the hardened "cheese" off and then disinfect the helmet to make it wearable by one's undeserving child?

What's the cost of the cheap, crap batting helmet these days? Is it cheaper to buy the helmet and the nachos without helmet or are you reducing the marginal cost of the nachos (or helmet)? Or does this helmet not even meet cheap, crap batting helmet standard these days? How much for nachos in a game-used batting helmet?

We don't have the overhead view but those nachos don't seem to be swimming in cheesy, salsa-y, goo-y, greasy goodness -- it looks like a helmet full of cardboard corn chips and some jalapensos.

Does the helmet only come in one size? (I'm asking for a friend.)

Let Mr Bonds ask his own questions

I love me some Nachos, but not stadium nachos made with Cheese Whiz.

As a former vendor at County Stadium, I have a comment on nachos though not $20 nachos. We used to vend (yes, in the seats) nachos. A vendor would carry a very heavy steel box, kind of like a hot dog box. There was about 12 trays of nacho chips and then a big tub of hot cheese with a flame heater (a can) beneath it, along with jalepenos. For several minutes, nobody would buy them, while I'm hawking nachos, and then finally some pimple faced kid would buy them. That's all it took, I'd ladle the cheese nice and high and let it cover all the chips (and be seen by all fans within eyeshot) and then within a couple minutes, I had about 5 other sales in no time. Definitely the hardest thing to sell at the stadium, but once you made one sale, you were golden.

This looks delicious, although I assume the chips near the bottom would be a soggy mess. That's my only real issue with nachos - if you get them with the cheese on the side, so you can control your cheese distribution and avoid the oversaturated, limp chip problem, then they're terrific.

I love the limp soggy cheese-soaked chips. I go out of my way to stick a few chips in there to soften up while I eat some crispy ones.

What is the profit margin on something like that? It's very cheap, easy to prepare food, that is easy to serve up fast in an inexpensive mass produced stamped piece of plastic. For $20?

Just for fun, I looked up the wholesale costs I could get on these crappy products for my restaurants.

A #10 can of nacho cheese sauce costs about $8 - so 4 ounces of it would be something like 30 cents. A pound of tortilla chips is about $1.80. Not sure how much they fit into the helmet, maybe 4-6 ounces? A #10 can of sliced jalapenos is about $7 - this is maybe 10 cents per portion. And Aramark or Sodexo or whoever the monstrous company is that controls the concessions at Yankee Stadium gets better prices than I do.

No idea on the helmet, sadly.

What's the cost of the cheap, crap batting helmet these days? Is it cheaper to buy the helmet and the nachos without helmet or are you reducing the marginal cost of the nachos (or helmet)? Or does this helmet not even meet cheap, crap batting helmet standard these days? How much for nachos in a game-used batting helmet?

By far, my most-missed facet of Milwaukee County Stadium is the helmet stand. They used to sell every plastic batting helmet in MLB for the same $5 it cost a decade-and-a-half earlier. It was a rotisserie league tradition every year to go to the Brewers game and buy the team batting helmet of the player who was the most pleasant surprise on your team. When the new stadium opened up, it was all Brewers helmets all the time.

I rather enjoyed being the only guy in Wisconsin in 1999 wearing a Pirates batting helmet in tribute to Ed Sprague.

They used to sell every plastic batting helmet in MLB for the same $5 it cost a decade-and-a-half earlier. ... When the new stadium opened up, it was all Brewers helmets all the time.

And I'm going to guess they weren't $5 either.

Depends on how many fingers are in, um, the hat. I've never seen one of these creations so I don't know what all is in the hat or how large it is but I wouldn't be shocked if the actual food part of this cost between 1 to 2 dollars. The hat itself is probably several times more expensive than the actual food that is in it. After those things I don't really know the other costs. Labor, taxes, lease agreements, utilities, licensing, so on and so on.

In a previous life, I ran a college concession operation. Yeah, the food is the cheapest part of the whole thing.

What always amused me was buying pop at a fast food restaurant. You know how they always fill your cup to the brim with ice to give you the least amount of pop possible? Of cup, ice, and pop the pop is by far the cheapest and the ice is the most expensive.

What always amused me was buying pop at a fast food restaurant. You know how they always fill your cup to the brim with ice to give you the least amount of pop possible? Of cup, ice, and pop the pop is by far the cheapest and the ice is the most expensive.

Yeah, but the point is to make you finish the soda more quickly so that you'll then keep ordering refills. But anyway, don't many or most fast food restaurants these days just sell you cups that you can fill yourself however you wish?

I love nachos, but not the ones with GMO chips, canned jalapenos and processed "cheese". I probably have nachos for supper at least once every 10 days.

Do you have a good recipe? I cook a lot, but for some reason find nachos difficult to get just right.

Using a broiler is key in my nacho-making experience.

Really surprised it took this long to spread. As a kid at the Vet, the batting helmet soft ice cream was a staple for every game. In a nod to #32, it was also possible to get different teams (or, at the least, the NL East) so I could use the helmets as a way to keep track of the standings (with the Phils, of course, mostly near the bottom).

#37 -

I use a glass pie plate for one, which holds the heat well so the nachos stay hot until you are finished.

I usually start with organic corn chips, then add grated medium cheddar or Monterrey Jack cheese, chopped cooked chicken breast that I season with ground cumin, s&p, lime juice and either smoked paprika or some kind of ground, smoked chile like Ancho, New Mexico, Chipotle, and/or Negro.

Then add some chopped fresh green onions, jalapenos and tomato, and put in a 400° oven for 10 minutes or so.

I serve them with sour cream, homemade salsa and homemade guacamole.

A nutritious and delicious meal!

I sometimes use chili or seasoned steak strips instead of chicken.

Hmmm...I might have to make that tonight.

And I'm going to guess they weren't $5 either.

Boy, ain't that the truth. Everything in that city got more expensive when Miller Park opened up. It's still cheap by Chicago standards, but it used to be like the old Lewis Black joke: "Apparently, you people in Wisconsin have some sort of federal grant for drinking... Even with the cost of the plane ticket, it's cheaper to drink here than in New York."

when nachos first became a thing at the ballpark it was done pretty well. then the clubs began to work to make it more profitable so it evolved from something a bit unique and mostly tasty to know what is a disgusting overpriced mess

the market dynamic worked against the end user experience.

sigh

Nachos are usually my go-to park food, because if I'm eating I'm hungry, and the price/fillingness nexus is pretty good on nachos. Also they'll usually dump as much jalapeno on top as you want, and I love jalapenos, even pickled ones.

But...not $20 nachos.

The worst concession, sadly because it should be the best, is almost always the hot dog, unless it's dollar dog night. They steam the dog, wrap it up and stick it in a warmer, so you're almost always getting a soggy, lukewarm dog. Even famed ones like Dodger Dogs. Is there any park that makes a real (grilled, within at least the last 5 minutes) hot dog anymore?

I use pita chips for my nachos.

Really surprised it took this long to spread. As a kid at the Vet, the batting helmet soft ice cream was a staple for every game.

I've got a couple of those -- well, they held Icees, not ice cream -- from old Ray Winder Field in Little Rock in the '90s. Every now & then I try to get one of my cats to wear one, to no avail.

Or maybe they just don't like the Cards or Marlins.

That souvenir helmet has to be the reason for the $20 price tag. Regular nachos are what, $6-8? This looks like an oversized portion, and then you get to keep the container. I wonder if it's big enough for a kid to wear.

Ted's in Buffalo makes fantastic hot dogs. They use a really good hot dog and grill it over charcoal. I would happily pay a premium to get one of those at a MLB stadium.

Even famed ones like Dodger Dogs. Is there any park that makes a real (grilled, within at least the last 5 minutes) hot dog anymore?

Certain stands at Dodger Stadium have grilled Dodger Dogs. I doubt it's within 5 minutes, though.

I will agree that at certain stadiums, Nachos are the best value. Years ago, an old pal and I would make a trip to the Oakland Coliseum to see the Broncos-Raiders game (we're from southern ca) and the nachos were the best value on the menu.

I've got a couple of those -- well, they held Icees, not ice cream -- from old Ray Winder Field in Little Rock in the '90s. Every now & then I try to get one of my cats to wear one, to no avail.

Dairy Queen has been doing the soft serve in batting helmets since at least the very 80's. Don't know if they did it before then as I wasn't kid before that.

Oh, forget to respond to this last night..

Moe,

It's really worse than past years? I've taken in games at Petco sporadically since the stadium opened and it has always seemed like the "regular" concession stands are awful.

Before I go again, how is the Stone thing at Petco?* It always upset when I made my way down there that Stone wasn't represented all that well at the park. What about Hodad's at Petco? I know the one in OB is freaking awesome beyond belief.

* Totally realize that you gotta serve the BMC (Bud, Miller, Coors) stuff but it seemed like Petco was woefully short on the craft offerings last time I was down there. No Karl Strauss (Red Trolley Ale is still a favorite) and even finding a Stone IPA was tough.

That souvenir helmet has to be the reason for the $20 price tag. Regular nachos are what, $6-8? This looks like an oversized portion, and then you get to keep the container. I wonder if it's big enough for a kid to wear.

There is no way I'd pay $20 for nachos if it didn't come with at least guacamole, beans, sour cream, protein of some kind, and salsa. It always blows my mind that people will spend 8 dollars or more for fried corn tortillas, processed cheese like goop, and few slices of pickled peppers..

Ted's in Buffalo makes fantastic hot dogs. They use a really good hot dog and grill it over charcoal. I would happily pay a premium to get one of those at a MLB stadium.

I actually had a terrific hot dog for dinner last night from a place called Burger Meister. They split the dog and grilled it, and also grilled the bun. Probably the best hot dog I've had in years.

(My dining companion was not at all impressed by the burger. Maybe they should change their name to Weiner Meister.)

Dairy Queen has been doing the soft serve in batting helmets since at least the very 80's. Don't know if they did it before then as I wasn't kid before that.

Ohhhhh, THAT's where I got all those. I knew I got some from Wrigley, but I couldn't for the life of me remember where all the other ones came from, since as a kid I'd only been to Wrigley and Milwaukee County.

Ted's in Buffalo makes fantastic hot dogs. They use a really good hot dog and grill it over charcoal. I would happily pay a premium to get one of those at a MLB stadium.

I'm in Rochester now. Hot dog ("hots")-specific restaurants are a thing here.

Dairy Queen has been doing the soft serve in batting helmets since at least the very 80's.

You have to be a real ####### pig to eat a batting helmet full of soft serve ice cream.

I don't know if you're joking, but the ice cream helmets are tiny. Not sure if they'd fit on my fist.

If it wasn't funny, then it wasn't a joke. And vice versa.

I actually had a terrific hot dog for dinner last night from a place called Burger Meister. They split the dog and grilled it, and also grilled the bun. Probably the best hot dog I've had in years.

That's pretty much how you do half-smokes as well. Really tastey.

If it wasn't funny, then it wasn't a joke. And vice versa.

So does that make is Schroedinger's joke or the Heisenberg uncertainty joke?

I'm in Rochester now. Hot dog ("hots")-specific restaurants are a thing here.

Damn you and your garbage plate proximity. I haven't had one in probably 15 years, and it's a fond, fond memory.

Is Gitsis still around?

I've only been back a few months, not familiar with that place, but it looks like it's closed. Haven't had a plate since I've been back, though I've eaten at a few hots places.

Closed? Well that's a kick in the teeth.

Before I go again, how is the Stone thing at Petco?* It always upset when I made my way down there that Stone wasn't represented all that well at the park. What about Hodad's at Petco? I know the one in OB is freaking awesome beyond belief.

* Totally realize that you gotta serve the BMC (Bud, Miller, Coors) stuff but it seemed like Petco was woefully short on the craft offerings last time I was down there. No Karl Strauss (Red Trolley Ale is still a favorite) and even finding a Stone IPA was tough.

There is a whole craft beer stand now on the main level (first base side, if I remember correctly). They have lots of local offerings so I'm sure you'll find one to your liking.

They have a Hodad's at Petco now, on the second level - I've been there once and it was ok. It's not going to be as good as the original restaurant in Ocean Beach (what is?), but it's ok. Good for a change of pace every now and then.

The regular concessions are just completely screwed up now. They've gone from bad to worse. One thing that's interesting - Randy Jones BBQ used to be in the "Park at the Park" but he moved into the main concourse with multiple stands which is what allowed Phil's BBQ to come into the "Park at the Park". I don't know how RJ's going to keep that going for two reasons:

1)Phil's BBQ is way way way better than RJ's so if I'm in the mood for BBQ I'm not going to RJs
2)RJ's stands are some of the ones getting the most complaints now about abysmally bad service

so far this year, at every Padres game I've been to (like half a dozen) -if you order food at a regular concession stand, you know - a hot dog, a burger, whatever - the time to get your food - not starting from having to wait in a long line, but the time between actually ordering the food and actually receiving the food - has often been almost half an hour.

This remains incredible. I know consumers/sports fans put up with a lot of crap, but is there no one complaining about this? No talk at all about it in the area?

Nachos are an every-couple-years thing for me, but I must say your recipe sounds excellent, Rants. I will try it.

I will agree that at certain stadiums, Nachos are the best value. Years ago, an old pal and I would make a trip to the Oakland Coliseum to see the Broncos-Raiders game (we're from southern ca) and the nachos were the best value on the menu.

At A's games anyway, the Coliseum extra cheese situation has been a saga in recent years. They're served on a square tray with two insets at opposite corners for the cheese + salsa. Up until 2011 you could request extra cheese instead of salsa. At some point along the way they started charging for it. Then in 2012, no extra cheese. Not even if you offer to pay... because they took away the button from the register. In 2013 they offered extra cheese, but instead of more cheese from the big steaming vat of cheese, it's a little packaged plastic cup of cheese, cold and kinda funky (y'know, relative to the taste of your standard nacho cheeze). Haven't gotten to a game yet this year but we'll see.

But, aside from occasionally getting a double at no extra charge from the cocktail stand (gotta ask nicely), it's still the best value (except on the value deck where you get a tiny cardboard box with the cheese directly on the (top layer of) chips for just $1 less).

Well here I am at "Globe Life Field" with the vitally important news that the Rangers now sell nachos in a hat, too. They are called Totally Rossome after our young pitcher Robbie. The helmets are pink and look small for an adult head but huge beside the little icecream hats. And at $17, quite the bargain. But it's Dollar Hot Dog Night so I'm going to give them a miss.

The helmets are pink

What exactly is the demographic they're targeting with these things?

When I went to watch the Orioles edge the pinstriped menace last week, I noticed a concessions worker setting up shop with a big bag of Tostitos. Same one my supermarket always has on sale for $2.99

It might be Hat Nacho Against Breast Cancer Night. But Robbie Ross is a heartthrob who spent his rookie year wearing a Hello Kitty backpack on walks out to the bullpen, so it might be 11-year-old girls with large appetites.

Got it.

This remains incredible. I know consumers/sports fans put up with a lot of crap, but is there no one complaining about this? No talk at all about it in the area?

That does sound like a "no one goes there anymore, it's too crowded" type of situation.