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Thursday, March 19, 2009

Griffin: LARRY JONES - THE UGLY AMERICAN TOURIST

Lethal Intent: The Shocking True Story of One of America’s Most Notorious Tourists!

Why is it that when Chipper Jones rips his experience of seven days in Toronto for Round 1 of the World Baseball Classic, we fall all over ourselves looking to refute?

Okay so Larry didn’t have a good time, so what? He was hitless and pulled an oblique muscle in his side—as opposed to the obtuse muscle in his head. It was the middle of March, not the best month to go wander the streets of T-O looking for a warm breeze, an outdoor patio and northern exposure.

First of all, Chipper is in the NL, so not used to the neighbourhoods of the city. Second of all, he is on a team with unfamiliar teammates that don’t really want to go out with a hitless wonder from a city with clearly the worst night-time downtown core in the league.

“I don’t know if you’ve ever stayed in Toronto, but it’s not Las Vegas.” Those are the words that annoy us. Why do people overreact? It’s like someone telling you “your wife is no Charlize Theron.” Yeah!

Repoz Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:16 AM | 290 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: blue jays, braves

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   201. JPWF13 Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:28 PM (#3108819)
People who fly with children between the ages of 6 months and three years are enemies of civilization, no, of mankind as a whole. In a just world, you would undergo an eternity of torture for your crimes.


I've twice gone on trips (round trips, so 4 flights) with my son, once aged 20 months, the other aged 32 months-
3.5 hours in the air each time...

Yes it would have been more pleasant for all concerned had he been knocked out.

But...

All the whiners can take an effing leap.
   202. Greg (U)K Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:28 PM (#3108821)
I'm always getting compliments at how well behaved they are on airplanes.


Possibly most embarassing moment of my life was when I got complimented by a stranger at a wedding for standing still and not fussing through the whole ceremony. Which isn't really that embarassing, until you realize I was 17 at the time.

I spent the whole day wondering what it was about me that made me look like I had the mental maturity of a 6 year old...I decided it was the suit, so I avoid wearing them at all costs now.
   203. RJ in TO Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:29 PM (#3108822)
Crotchspawn?


I'm always much more amused by the description of children as \"#### trophies".
   204. Sam Hutcheson is the Rickey Henderson of... Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:29 PM (#3108823)
Honest, forthright, decent parents DRIVE 3000 miles to bring the kids to visit their elderly grandparents.

Actions have consequences. You move 3000 miles away from your parents, your parents don't see their grandkids very often. How hard is that? 3000 miles is a long way. Live with the consequences of your decisions.
   205. Srul Itza Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:31 PM (#3108825)
I was there in November.

So that's what that smell was.

Keeping people away is really not going to help you guys, Srul,

I'm not saying stay away. Come. Spend all your money. Then go home.

Repeat.

I would say don't bother moving there because the economy sucks and everything's expensive.

I concur. Don't move here. Just vacation.
   206. Traderdave Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:32 PM (#3108827)
All the whiners can take an effing leap.


If all they did was whine, no problem. Nobody, especially the parents, likes crying kids on airplanes, same as nobdoy like delayed flights or airplane food.

We were having a good time kvetching about travel until a few people started to get vicious about kids. THEY can take a leap....
   207. GregQ Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:36 PM (#3108832)
Some friends who I had often vacationed with prior to their marriage ended up having three kids. We still vacation together and have since the first was 6 months old. Never a problem with any of them and I have flown to Ireland, Hawaii and France with them on different trips. In my opinion it is the parents that are the problem, and the issues start much before they get to the airport.
   208. The Good Face Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:36 PM (#3108833)
Actions have consequences. You move 3000 miles away from your parents, your parents don't see their grandkids very often. How hard is that? 3000 miles is a long way. Live with the consequences of your decisions.


While I agree wholeheartedly, THAT argument ain't gonna pull much water in these parts.

Airlines should impose a steep surcharge for children and charge them for a full seat regardless of their age. Discounts for frequent fliers with no kids. Also, people with poor hygene should be removed from the plane at the sole discretion of the flight attendents. No refunds.
   209. Vaux, A.B.D. Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:38 PM (#3108834)
Such are the thoughts hatched by Americans who have never worried about their next meal.
   210. Perros Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:38 PM (#3108835)
ARod's crazy pics begat discussion of tipping.

Larry Wayne Jones spawns airline stories.

Can't wait for the next Barry Bonds thread.
   211. Crispix Attacks Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:39 PM (#3108836)
Shut up, The Good Face.
   212. Moe Greene Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:40 PM (#3108838)
Larry Wayne Jones spawns airline stories.

Don't you mean crotchspawns?
   213. RJ in TO Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:40 PM (#3108839)
Can't wait for the next Barry Bonds thread.


The last one degenerated into a big political bomb.
   214. Tom Nawrocki Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:41 PM (#3108841)
Actions have consequences. You move 3000 miles away from your parents, your parents don't see their grandkids very often.

Actions have consequences. You want to fly on a public airline, expect to have to share the ride with some people you're not very fond of. Flying next to a small child is not much worse than flying next to a 350-pounder, or a Bible-thumper, or a Braves fan.
   215. GregQ Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:42 PM (#3108844)
I always thought it was crotchfruit
   216. The Good Face Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:42 PM (#3108845)
Shut up, The Good Face.


Owner of poorly behaved child detected, C/D?
   217. RJ in TO Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:46 PM (#3108848)
Flying next to a small child is not much worse than flying next to a 350-pounder, or a Bible-thumper, or a Braves fan.


Years ago, a friend of mine was taking the bus back from Banff to Toronto. Around Calgary, an absolutely ancient nun (with only one good eye) got on the bus, looked around, and sat down in the only available seat, which was next to my friend. After getting comfortable, and shooing away any intrusion from any other passengers ("Are you taking this trip for pleasure, Sister?" "At my age, nothing is a pleasure"), she turned to my friend and asked him if he knew the wonders of Jesus. He (stupidly) said no.

For the next four hours, she lectured him about Christianity, and all its wonders. After she finally would down he speech, she then told him "Now, if you had just lied and told me 'Yes', we could have spent the last four hours sitting quietly and ignoring each other".
   218. Sam Hutcheson is the Rickey Henderson of... Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:47 PM (#3108850)
You want to fly on a public airline, expect to have to share the ride with some people you're not very fond of.

Tom, you ignorant #####. I expect to "share the ride" with people I am not fond of ALL THE TIME. This is what we call "base misanthropy."
   219. Vaux, A.B.D. Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:48 PM (#3108853)
Depending on my mood, I might rather listen to a nun for four hours than sit doing nothing for four hours. I've been known to watch EWTN in hospital waiting rooms . . .
   220. Steve Treder Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:49 PM (#3108854)
Actions have consequences. You want to fly on a public airline, expect to have to share the ride with some people you're not very fond of.

Word. Public space is shared space. Deal with it.
   221. Lassus Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:49 PM (#3108855)
For the next four hours, she lectured him about Christianity, and all its wonders.

I got three hours of this treatment from an objectivist going from Portland to Seattle and carrying THREE different Rand novels.

That being said, I've gone coast to coast repeatedly on greyhound and in a fit of invention I did one trip from Seattle to Miami. I actually quite like ground travel, although it's not for everyone.
   222. Gaelan Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:53 PM (#3108859)
I got three hours of this treatment from an objectivist going from Portland to Seattle and carrying THREE different Rand novels.


Speaking to strangers is rude.* No one speaks to me in these situations. I think I give off a vibe. If someone persists the trick is to grunt in response. If you don't give them any actual words to respond to it is more difficult to manufacture a conversation.

* I'd be in favour of anti-speaking legislation. No speaking in public instead of specifically designated places (bars). Second hand words is a hazard to public health.
   223. Lassus Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:55 PM (#3108864)
No one speaks to me in these situations. I think I give off a vibe.

Now THIS made me laugh.

There was a period in my life when I was no as good at turning away strangers, and also - go figure - I actually argued with him. Those two things made it what it was.
   224. Greg (U)K Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:57 PM (#3108865)
I got three hours of this treatment from an objectivist going from Portland to Seattle and carrying THREE different Rand novels.


So the mystery of what really happened on that bus in Manitoba is finally revealed!
   225. Dan Szymborski Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:58 PM (#3108867)
The last one degenerated into a big political bomb.

I'd hardly call that a bomb. Retardo not hanging around and Kevin being gone have improved the tenor of political discussions immensely and if arkitekton and Joey B. stayed out of political threads, we'd probably have the best political discussions on the web, though possibly not as good as fivethirtyeight before it got mainstream attention.
   226. Dewey, Steven Wright Wannabe and Soupuss Posted: March 19, 2009 at 08:59 PM (#3108869)
Anyone who has screaming kids on an airplane has apparently never heard of Dramamine.

So the mystery of what really happened on that bus in Manitoba is finally revealed!

Did the police ever say what happened there?
   227. zenbitz Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:03 PM (#3108872)
The worst thing to happen to air travel was the dropping of prices such that families of four thought flying was feasible.


Well, you can relieve the glory days in First Class for only 4-5x the price you cheapskate.
   228. McCoy Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:07 PM (#3108874)
Speaking to strangers is rude when you are simply trying to sell them something. Whether that be God or washers it doesn't matter, it is rude. But generally speaking outside of that speaking to strangers is a good thing. It makes people more social and more willing to help people. You'll be amazed how much brighter your day is when you go walking down the street and a bunch of people smile at you and say hello to you because you had a conversation with them the other day or last month or whenever. It is much better than everybody walking around with their heads down and grunting as they walk. A long time ago in grade school I remember reading a story in the book with the dog with a clock in him, something about a tollbooth, about a world that was beautiful but the people were in such a hurry that they never noticed it until one day the world was gone. Then there is the old story of the old woman who dies because she thinks nobody knows she is alive but it turns out everybody in her neighborhood knew she was alive and her various mannerisms and hobbies would form part of their daily life. For instance her boiling water for morning tea would serve as an alarm clark, so on and so on.
   229. Tom Nawrocki Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:07 PM (#3108875)
My brother, on his honeymoon, had the misfortune of being seated between his new bride and a woman who wanted to tell him all about the wonders of Jesus. All the way from Chicago to Honolulu.
   230. Zac Schmitt Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:08 PM (#3108877)
what bothers me in general are people who are oblivious or uncaring as to the behavior of their kids. there isn't always much a parent can do about a screaming kid, but when the kid is screaming/wreaking havoc and the parent couldn't seem to care less it really bothers me, as if it's the rest of society's place to put up with it.

i'm probably tied with a few other primates for having flown the least, as i've actually never flown anywhere. my family all live quite a ways away, but since i c an't really afford it i get by.
   231. Greg (U)K Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:08 PM (#3108878)
Did the police ever say what happened there?


I haven't read as much as I should about that incident (considering I am taking a bus through Manitoba in the next 3 weeks), but there has been heated discussion around these parts about the fact that that fellow was ruled not criminally responsible for his actions and is being stuck in a hospital rather than a jail.

Here is a article on it. The old "God told me to do it" defence.
   232. Dewey, Steven Wright Wannabe and Soupuss Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:10 PM (#3108880)
there has been heated discussion around these parts about the fact that that fellow was ruled not criminally responsible for his actions and is being stuck in a hospital rather than a jail.

Ah, Canadians.

Here we'd have him strung up by his thumbs in no time flat.
   233. o_dawg Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:11 PM (#3108882)
Training is key. My son is getting ready for his third flight within the first six months of his life (Tor-Van, Tor-Fla, Tor-Van again). My parents did the same with me and my sister, and we were pretty well behaved.
I'm much more concerned about one of us getting sick. You want to ban people on flights, how about one of those fever-test devices you see in pandemic movies?
   234. SoSHially Unacceptable Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:15 PM (#3108883)
I don't get why people "have to fly" with their kids.


Well, if my parents had the decency to not die before their grandparents were all above the approved age for air travel as established by the Childless ######### Guild, it wouldn't have been an issue. But seeing as the cancer just wouldn't wait an extra couple of years, we thought it best to get the kids out a few more times to see grandma and grandpa.

I see now I was wrong.
   235. Steve Treder Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:17 PM (#3108885)
I actually look forward to having a little kid or baby sit next to me on a flight. Talk with the tot, play with them, make funny faces. It's fun, and it helps to pass the time. Little kids are great.
   236. Dewey, Steven Wright Wannabe and Soupuss Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:24 PM (#3108890)
I used to hate kids, but I've mellowed out about them quite a bit over the past few years.

I think one reason is that a lot of the complaints I've heard leveled against kids I've also heard against dogs, and I love dogs.
   237. Swedish Chef Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:30 PM (#3108892)
Screaming kids in airplanes are no match for an iPod and good headphones, it is probably a good antidote against raving objectivists in buses too.
   238. Vaux, A.B.D. Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:30 PM (#3108893)
I love talking to kids, but unfortunately we live in a world where many parents object to my talking to their kids.
   239. Flynn Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:30 PM (#3108894)
Having seen your little fella Steve, I half-expect you to use all your frequent flier miles with him in the bassinet.
   240. Dewey, Steven Wright Wannabe and Soupuss Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:32 PM (#3108895)
I love talking to kids, but unfortunately we live in a world where many parents object to my talking to their kids.

They don't get that you're just trying to reverse-jinx their kids.
   241. Steve Treder Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:34 PM (#3108898)
Having seen your little fella Steve, I half-expect you to use all your frequent flier miles with him in the bassinet.

He's only been up to California once so far, and that was back when he was so teeny-tiny that all he did was sleep on the plane. We've been down there to see him three other times so far.

But next summer when he flies up here he'll be 10 or 11 months old, hitting the prime age, shall we say, for airplane hijinx. My daughter is oh so looking forward to that.
   242. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:35 PM (#3108899)
"Also, people with poor hygene should be removed from the plane at the sole discretion of the flight attendents. No refunds."

And then after they all get sued back into the stone age and go bankrupt, what happens?

"if arkitekton and Joey B. stayed out of political threads, we'd probably have the best political discussions on the web"

You get two free boots, and THOSE are the guys you use 'em on? I'd probably have a few different suggestions.
   243. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:36 PM (#3108900)
Also, you guys should try flying on Qantas sometime. It's awesome. Ten thousand times nicer than even the best American carrier.
   244. Dewey, Steven Wright Wannabe and Soupuss Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:39 PM (#3108902)
And then after they all get sued back into the stone age and go bankrupt, what happens?

Presumably if it's specifically allowed by law, they can't be sued for doing it.

Also, you guys should try flying on Qantas sometime. It's awesome. Ten thousand times nicer than even the best American carrier.

I've never flown it, but supposedly the best airline in the world for quality of service is Singapore Air.
   245. gef the talking mongoose Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:39 PM (#3108904)
I wonder what Gaelan's neighbors are like.


Depends on whether he's in the Violent Ward these days, I guess.
   246. gef the talking mongoose Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:40 PM (#3108906)
And then after they all get sued back into the stone age and go bankrupt, what happens?


The rich fascists controlling the government bail them out?
   247. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:43 PM (#3108908)
"I've never flown it, but supposedly the best airline in the world for quality of service is Singapore Air."

I've heard nice things about them as well.
   248. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:44 PM (#3108909)
"Presumably if it's specifically allowed by law, they can't be sued for doing it."

So now we're going to have Congress try and write a legal description of "poor hygeine"?

Should be fun to watch.
   249. Perros Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:45 PM (#3108910)
Should just rename this thread THE UGLY AMERICAN TOURIST

Glad to no longer be on Szym's 'no fly' list.

My brother, on his honeymoon, had the misfortune of being seated between his new bride and a woman who wanted to tell him all about the wonders of Jesus. All the way from Chicago to Honolulu.

He should have just started making out with his bride.
   250. Flynn Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:48 PM (#3108914)
But next summer when he flies up here he'll be 10 or 11 months old, hitting the prime age, shall we say, for airplane hijinx. My daughter is oh so looking forward to that.

Hello Benadryl.

At 10 months old he should be old enough to start doing the basics, like saying "O-B-P" and keeping score.
   251. Perros Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:50 PM (#3108916)
Agree with McCoy. The world's a wonderful place when you greet it with a smile.
   252. Steve Treder Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:56 PM (#3108922)
At 10 months old he should be old enough to start doing the basics, like saying "O-B-P" and keeping score.

So, you're saying that the Linear Weights formula might be pushing it a little bit?
   253. Flynn Posted: March 19, 2009 at 09:59 PM (#3108927)
Not only that, but are you sure the slider is good for a 6 month old elbow?
   254. Steve Treder Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:00 PM (#3108929)
Not only that, but are you sure the slider is good for a 6 month old elbow?

Yeah, you're probably right. His spit-up ball is killer, though.
   255. Jolly Old St. Neck Wound, Moral Idiot Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:01 PM (#3108930)
Speaking to strangers is rude.* No one speaks to me in these situations. I think I give off a vibe. If someone persists the trick is to grunt in response. If you don't give them any actual words to respond to it is more difficult to manufacture a conversation.

I agree with McCoy's qualifications to this, but on an airplane your seatmate is too much of a captive audience, and your only unreciprocated word should be "hello." I usually just bring a book and get right to it.

And if anyone has a problem with some stranger on a plane who won't shut up, I'd recommend reading one of Ring Lardner's best short stories, What of It?, which is contained in a book with the same title. And that's exactly his strategy: No matter what the yakker says, just say "What of it?" I've tried it once or twice, and it worked. After a while they think you're crazy and they leave you alone.

I actually look forward to having a little kid or baby sit next to me on a flight. Talk with the tot, play with them, make funny faces. It's fun, and it helps to pass the time. Little kids are great.

Totally agree, so long as the parent is cool with it. I like the strategy of making weird faces and then going totally deadpan when the kid reacts and the parent looks over---Who, me? Don't know what the kid could be laughing at!
   256. Gaelan Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:10 PM (#3108935)
Totally agree, so long as the parent is cool with it. I like the strategy of making weird faces and then going totally deadpan when the kid reacts and the parent looks over---Who, me? Don't know what the kid could be laughing at!


What kind of crazy parent wouldn't be cool with it. When I'm on a plane I pray for someone to distract my child. When this happens my wife and I try very hard to avoid eye contact because we don't want to embarass the adult into stopping.

Thus we can summarize my rules for flying as follows.

1) Please talk to my child
2) Don't talk to me. I don't care about you and I talking about myself makes me not care about me. I don't like not caring about me.
3) Also don't talk to your neighbour. Overhearing your inane conversation is almost as bad as being subject to it.
   257. Dan Szymborski Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:16 PM (#3108939)
Glad to no longer be on Szym's 'no fly' list.

When did we have an issue other than some posted erotic poetry?
   258. Dan Szymborski Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:17 PM (#3108941)
See, it's not that I don't have kids, it's that they were just so misbehaved in the future that I'm making them not exist as punishment.
   259. GregQ Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:21 PM (#3108946)
You have to be careful about making faces at kids. Years and years ago I was at a San Jose Bees baseball game and was doing that to the kid in front of me and he turned and stuck his tongue out at his Dad who promptly smacked him.
   260. Jolly Old St. Neck Wound, Moral Idiot Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:21 PM (#3108947)
Totally agree, so long as the parent is cool with it. I like the strategy of making weird faces and then going totally deadpan when the kid reacts and the parent looks over---Who, me? Don't know what the kid could be laughing at!

What kind of crazy parent wouldn't be cool with it.


The sort of parent who wraps her kids in Winter clothes in April and thinks that everyone who talks to their child is a priest. There are, unfortunately, parents like that.
   261. Flynn Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:22 PM (#3108948)
I like talking to people, especially on a plane. Hell, considering my flying now consists of four long-hauls between SF and London, 11 hours goes by much easier when you're friendly with the person next to you.

I had the good fortune to fly to San Francisco this Christmas next to a Welsh woman who lived in New Zealand. Fair to say that she knew much more about rugby than I did, and talking rugby is a terrific way to kill time.
   262. Steve Treder Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:26 PM (#3108949)
Years and years ago I was at a San Jose Bees baseball game and was doing that to the kid in front of me and he turned and stuck his tongue out at his Dad who promptly smacked him.

Geez, lighten up, Dad.

The sort of parent who wraps her kids in Winter clothes in April and thinks that everyone who talks to their child is a priest. There are, unfortunately, parents like that.

There are. The vast majority are fine with it. In fact most parents enjoy having others ooh and aah and tell them how cute their kids are.
   263. Baldrick Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:27 PM (#3108950)
Speaking of airlines, my girlfriend's father is a consultant for a lot of them. His most important contribution to your everyday flying experience: the Southwest A/B/C boarding system.

Speaking of which, I'm writing this from the airport during my three hour layover. My two flights today I got A27 and A23. These are the highest Southwest numbers I have ever gotten. It's like Christmas.
   264. Ray (RDP) Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:36 PM (#3108953)
I once sat next to a deaf guy who constantly passed notes to me throughout the plane ride, as a substitute for more traditional means of communication. And I had to write back.

I normally don't like talking to the passengers next to me as it is. Over the course of a five hour plane ride, this became a nightmare.

My ex-girlfriend used to refer to him as The Note Passer.
   265. McCoy Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:36 PM (#3108954)
I agree with McCoy's qualifications to this, but on an airplane your seatmate is too much of a captive audience, and your only unreciprocated word should be "hello."

But by doing this you don't get the handjob. True story, last year during Christmas break my roommate was coming back and on the flight back the woman sitting next to him gave him a handjob. That doesn't happen if all you do is say hello.

Be nice to strangers sometimes they are nice to you.
   266. zenbitz Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:41 PM (#3108955)
Be nice to strangers sometimes they are nice to you.


So's your mom!
   267. Perros Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:42 PM (#3108956)
I was going to suggest that being friendly in the world can often get you more than a smile in return. Not that that should be the point.

Ray -- are you sure the guy wasn't just pretending to be deaf?
   268. Guapo Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:44 PM (#3108958)
I once sat next to a deaf guy who constantly passed notes to me throughout the plane ride, as a substitute for more traditional means of communication. And I had to write back.

Isn't this pretty much how BTF works?
   269. Guapo Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:48 PM (#3108964)
True story, last year during Christmas break my roommate was coming back and on the flight back the woman sitting next to him gave him a handjob.

Maybe she gave him the handjob so he WOULDN'T talk to her.
   270. Steve Treder Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:50 PM (#3108967)
Isn't this pretty much how BTF works?

Yeah, Ray. All you needed to do was write a note to the guy that said, "Dude. I have you on 'ignore.'"
   271. gef the talking mongoose Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:54 PM (#3108969)
Maybe she gave him the handjob so he WOULDN'T talk to her.


Or pass her notes.
   272. robinred Posted: March 19, 2009 at 10:56 PM (#3108971)
I once sat next to a deaf guy who constantly passed notes to me throughout the plane ride, as a substitute for more traditional means of communication. And I had to write back.


That is amazing. Was the dude a baseball fan at least? Or at least not a liberal?
   273. Greg (U)K Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:01 PM (#3108975)
I once sat next to a deaf guy who constantly passed notes to me throughout the plane ride, as a substitute for more traditional means of communication. And I had to write back.


That is amazing. Was the dude a baseball fan at least? Or at least not a liberal?


This seems like it would be a good Curb Your Enthusiasm scene, with Larry using progressively more and more exclamation points.
   274. RJ in TO Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:05 PM (#3108976)
I once sat next to a deaf guy who constantly passed notes to me throughout the plane ride, as a substitute for more traditional means of communication. And I had to write back.

You should have pretended to be blind.
   275. Jarrod HypnerotomachiaPoliphili(Teddy F. Ballgame) Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:19 PM (#3108981)
A long time ago in grade school I remember reading a story in the book with the dog with a clock in him, something about a tollbooth


This is The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster. One of the all-time great children's books.
   276. Vaux, A.B.D. Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:20 PM (#3108982)
One of the all-time great books, period.
   277. gef the talking mongoose Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:20 PM (#3108983)
You should have pretended to be blind.


Or illiterate.
   278. Ray (RDP) Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:23 PM (#3108985)
I did pretend to be fully engrossed in the Hawaii 5-0 episode I was watching on DVD, but he kept tapping me on the shoulder anyway.
   279. RJ in TO Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:24 PM (#3108987)
This is The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster. One of the all-time great children's books.

There's also an animated movie for it, which I remember being good as well (when I saw it 25+ years ago).
   280. Steve Treder Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:29 PM (#3108988)
I did pretend to be fully engrossed in the Hawaii 5-0 episode I was watching on DVD, but he kept tapping me on the shoulder anyway.

Andy would advise you to just have written, "What of it?" a couple of times, and the guy would have caught on.

Failing that, I'd suggest "STFU." Better yet, "STFU" in sign language.
   281. robinred Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:30 PM (#3108989)
"but he kept tapping me on the shoulder anyway."

Sort of like talking to me and Andy on BTF.

His name is Steve McGarrett
He's a Hawaiian cop
And there ain't no crime wave
That he can't stop

Book'em Dano that's the end of the show
And that's Hawaii
Hawaii 5-0

Try that with the theme music.

I have to say, 5-0 and Ray do seem a scary combo. If we are ever next to each other on a plane, I won't say a fukcing word.
   282. Lassus Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:33 PM (#3108991)
Better yet, just sheer insanity.

DEAF GUY - "What do you think about Boston?"

RAY - "Because the dishwashing liquid screams the crackers into a raindrop cricket."
   283. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:41 PM (#3108996)
I did pretend to be fully engrossed in the Hawaii 5-0 episode I was watching on DVD

Now who the hell would believe you were engrossed by that?
   284. Ray (RDP) Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:45 PM (#3108997)
I have to say, 5-0 and Ray do seem a scary combo. If we are ever next to each other on a plane, I won't say a fukcing word.


I am now through Season 5 of Hawaii Five-0 and I am awaiting patiently the release of Season 6 on DVD in April. Season 7 coming in October.

These companies see me coming a mile away.

I can't seem to get into any of the new (current) shows. Seinfeld was the last show I watched weekly. And you have to go back to the '80s to find a drama I watched weekly.
   285. Ray (RDP) Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:47 PM (#3108999)
Now who the hell would believe you were engrossed by that?


Nobody, which is part of the problem.

Though most of the shows are quite good. You have to get over the fact that Jack Lord is really the only trained actor outside of James McCarthur -- the rest of the actors were basically plucked from the streets of Hawaii. So the rest of the actors are pretty wooden. And Lord tries to compensate by overacting.

Makes for an odd mix.
   286. gef the talking mongoose Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:50 PM (#3109002)
Which raises the question (well, OK, no, it doesn't, but what the hell ...) of which great punk band did the best song about a '60s drama -- Radio Birdman ("Aloha Steve & Danno") or Naked Raygun ("Rat Patrol").
   287. Lassus Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:53 PM (#3109003)
Srul hates Hawaii 5-0 for bringing people to his precious precious secluded island.
   288. sardonic Posted: March 19, 2009 at 11:56 PM (#3109004)
You know, I do think that there's something to this. For years I was unable to sleep with my head upright - on a bus, plane, whatever - and it turned into a thing I would complain about. I had convinced myself that it wasn't going to happen. I thought it was just a fact of my peculiar existence. Then on some unusually long trip once I needed the sleep and I slept and the spell was broken and now I can sleep with my head upright. I just stopped complaining and did it.


I was the same way. Then, when I was in middle school, I fell asleep in a car while on a long and multi-stop European trip, and I've been able to sleep anywhere, anytime in any position since. For me, the key was letting my neck relax so my head could just rest backwards.

Also, I've frequently flown through SFO, LAX, San Diego and Taipei, and I've only once had my luggage delayed -- the flight was overweight, they always knew where it was, and it was delivered a few hours after I got home.

It's possible that some airports are worse than others due to scheduling idiosyncrasies, more frequent delays or poor baggage handling systems.

Having flown a lot of trans-Pacific flights as a kid has basically numbed me to the horrors of air travel. To me, it's basically just going into a room, sitting in a chair and magically appearing somewhere. In that sense, my perception seems to most closely match PreservedFish's.
   289. Perros Posted: March 20, 2009 at 12:04 AM (#3109006)
I travel a lot by van, and I can sleep pretty well sitting up. Try not to let my head loll back, or I wake up with a stiff neck. I'm surprised, but I can sleep better if I keep good posture.
   290. Dan Evensen Posted: March 20, 2009 at 12:34 AM (#3109012)
Ohhh! A travel thread! I've got things to say here!

Since 2000, I've flown from the US to Sweden and back, to Germany and back, and twice to Shanghai (my second trip back is coming in two months). I've yet to have my luggage delayed, and I've yet to be strip-searched by security (or whatever it is that they do to random people). Those 12-14 hour flights aren't the most comfortable in the world, but I usually bring a good book or two along.

My carry-on bag for our return flight is probably going to be heavier than any of the bags I'm checking. The trick is going to be my wife's carry-on. She's pregnant, which means I'll probably have to help her carry it on.

The worst airport I've ever been to is the Macao airport. There is seriously nothing to do there while waiting for a connecting flight. There is one small, overpriced restaurant, two crappy gift shops and a bunch of seats. There is free wireless internet, which only works for 10 minutes and doesn't let you back on two times in a row. Worse, if you come in with renminbi, they'll overcharge you for everything. Rather than converting the prices over to RMB from the Macao Peso, they just charge the same price across the board. Thus, a 20 Peso Coke is 20 RMB, not 10 (as it would be if I exchanged my money). I just wish they would accept Taiwan dollars at that rate (20 RMB = 100 NTD = $3.25 or so; getting a coke for 20 NTD would be a steal).

I haven't been to a lot of airports, so I can't say this for certain, but my favorite so far is the Shanghai airport. It's new, clean, and very foreigner friendly. The Shanghai train station, on the other hand...
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