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I've twice gone on trips (round trips, so 4 flights) with my son, once aged 20 months, the other aged 32 months-
3.5 hours in the air each time...
Yes it would have been more pleasant for all concerned had he been knocked out.
But...
All the whiners can take an effing leap.
Possibly most embarassing moment of my life was when I got complimented by a stranger at a wedding for standing still and not fussing through the whole ceremony. Which isn't really that embarassing, until you realize I was 17 at the time.
I spent the whole day wondering what it was about me that made me look like I had the mental maturity of a 6 year old...I decided it was the suit, so I avoid wearing them at all costs now.
I'm always much more amused by the description of children as \"#### trophies".
Actions have consequences. You move 3000 miles away from your parents, your parents don't see their grandkids very often. How hard is that? 3000 miles is a long way. Live with the consequences of your decisions.
So that's what that smell was.
Keeping people away is really not going to help you guys, Srul,
I'm not saying stay away. Come. Spend all your money. Then go home.
Repeat.
I would say don't bother moving there because the economy sucks and everything's expensive.
I concur. Don't move here. Just vacation.
If all they did was whine, no problem. Nobody, especially the parents, likes crying kids on airplanes, same as nobdoy like delayed flights or airplane food.
We were having a good time kvetching about travel until a few people started to get vicious about kids. THEY can take a leap....
While I agree wholeheartedly, THAT argument ain't gonna pull much water in these parts.
Airlines should impose a steep surcharge for children and charge them for a full seat regardless of their age. Discounts for frequent fliers with no kids. Also, people with poor hygene should be removed from the plane at the sole discretion of the flight attendents. No refunds.
Larry Wayne Jones spawns airline stories.
Can't wait for the next Barry Bonds thread.
Don't you mean crotchspawns?
The last one degenerated into a big political bomb.
Actions have consequences. You want to fly on a public airline, expect to have to share the ride with some people you're not very fond of. Flying next to a small child is not much worse than flying next to a 350-pounder, or a Bible-thumper, or a Braves fan.
Owner of poorly behaved child detected, C/D?
Years ago, a friend of mine was taking the bus back from Banff to Toronto. Around Calgary, an absolutely ancient nun (with only one good eye) got on the bus, looked around, and sat down in the only available seat, which was next to my friend. After getting comfortable, and shooing away any intrusion from any other passengers ("Are you taking this trip for pleasure, Sister?" "At my age, nothing is a pleasure"), she turned to my friend and asked him if he knew the wonders of Jesus. He (stupidly) said no.
For the next four hours, she lectured him about Christianity, and all its wonders. After she finally would down he speech, she then told him "Now, if you had just lied and told me 'Yes', we could have spent the last four hours sitting quietly and ignoring each other".
Tom, you ignorant #####. I expect to "share the ride" with people I am not fond of ALL THE TIME. This is what we call "base misanthropy."
Word. Public space is shared space. Deal with it.
I got three hours of this treatment from an objectivist going from Portland to Seattle and carrying THREE different Rand novels.
That being said, I've gone coast to coast repeatedly on greyhound and in a fit of invention I did one trip from Seattle to Miami. I actually quite like ground travel, although it's not for everyone.
Speaking to strangers is rude.* No one speaks to me in these situations. I think I give off a vibe. If someone persists the trick is to grunt in response. If you don't give them any actual words to respond to it is more difficult to manufacture a conversation.
* I'd be in favour of anti-speaking legislation. No speaking in public instead of specifically designated places (bars). Second hand words is a hazard to public health.
Now THIS made me laugh.
There was a period in my life when I was no as good at turning away strangers, and also - go figure - I actually argued with him. Those two things made it what it was.
So the mystery of what really happened on that bus in Manitoba is finally revealed!
I'd hardly call that a bomb. Retardo not hanging around and Kevin being gone have improved the tenor of political discussions immensely and if arkitekton and Joey B. stayed out of political threads, we'd probably have the best political discussions on the web, though possibly not as good as fivethirtyeight before it got mainstream attention.
So the mystery of what really happened on that bus in Manitoba is finally revealed!
Did the police ever say what happened there?
Well, you can relieve the glory days in First Class for only 4-5x the price you cheapskate.
i'm probably tied with a few other primates for having flown the least, as i've actually never flown anywhere. my family all live quite a ways away, but since i c an't really afford it i get by.
I haven't read as much as I should about that incident (considering I am taking a bus through Manitoba in the next 3 weeks), but there has been heated discussion around these parts about the fact that that fellow was ruled not criminally responsible for his actions and is being stuck in a hospital rather than a jail.
Here is a article on it. The old "God told me to do it" defence.
Ah, Canadians.
Here we'd have him strung up by his thumbs in no time flat.
I'm much more concerned about one of us getting sick. You want to ban people on flights, how about one of those fever-test devices you see in pandemic movies?
Well, if my parents had the decency to not die before their grandparents were all above the approved age for air travel as established by the Childless ######### Guild, it wouldn't have been an issue. But seeing as the cancer just wouldn't wait an extra couple of years, we thought it best to get the kids out a few more times to see grandma and grandpa.
I see now I was wrong.
I think one reason is that a lot of the complaints I've heard leveled against kids I've also heard against dogs, and I love dogs.
They don't get that you're just trying to reverse-jinx their kids.
He's only been up to California once so far, and that was back when he was so teeny-tiny that all he did was sleep on the plane. We've been down there to see him three other times so far.
But next summer when he flies up here he'll be 10 or 11 months old, hitting the prime age, shall we say, for airplane hijinx. My daughter is oh so looking forward to that.
And then after they all get sued back into the stone age and go bankrupt, what happens?
"if arkitekton and Joey B. stayed out of political threads, we'd probably have the best political discussions on the web"
You get two free boots, and THOSE are the guys you use 'em on? I'd probably have a few different suggestions.
Presumably if it's specifically allowed by law, they can't be sued for doing it.
Also, you guys should try flying on Qantas sometime. It's awesome. Ten thousand times nicer than even the best American carrier.
I've never flown it, but supposedly the best airline in the world for quality of service is Singapore Air.
Depends on whether he's in the Violent Ward these days, I guess.
The rich fascists controlling the government bail them out?
I've heard nice things about them as well.
So now we're going to have Congress try and write a legal description of "poor hygeine"?
Should be fun to watch.
Glad to no longer be on Szym's 'no fly' list.
My brother, on his honeymoon, had the misfortune of being seated between his new bride and a woman who wanted to tell him all about the wonders of Jesus. All the way from Chicago to Honolulu.
He should have just started making out with his bride.
Hello Benadryl.
At 10 months old he should be old enough to start doing the basics, like saying "O-B-P" and keeping score.
So, you're saying that the Linear Weights formula might be pushing it a little bit?
Yeah, you're probably right. His spit-up ball is killer, though.
I agree with McCoy's qualifications to this, but on an airplane your seatmate is too much of a captive audience, and your only unreciprocated word should be "hello." I usually just bring a book and get right to it.
And if anyone has a problem with some stranger on a plane who won't shut up, I'd recommend reading one of Ring Lardner's best short stories, What of It?, which is contained in a book with the same title. And that's exactly his strategy: No matter what the yakker says, just say "What of it?" I've tried it once or twice, and it worked. After a while they think you're crazy and they leave you alone.
I actually look forward to having a little kid or baby sit next to me on a flight. Talk with the tot, play with them, make funny faces. It's fun, and it helps to pass the time. Little kids are great.
Totally agree, so long as the parent is cool with it. I like the strategy of making weird faces and then going totally deadpan when the kid reacts and the parent looks over---Who, me? Don't know what the kid could be laughing at!
What kind of crazy parent wouldn't be cool with it. When I'm on a plane I pray for someone to distract my child. When this happens my wife and I try very hard to avoid eye contact because we don't want to embarass the adult into stopping.
Thus we can summarize my rules for flying as follows.
1) Please talk to my child
2) Don't talk to me. I don't care about you and I talking about myself makes me not care about me. I don't like not caring about me.
3) Also don't talk to your neighbour. Overhearing your inane conversation is almost as bad as being subject to it.
When did we have an issue other than some posted erotic poetry?
What kind of crazy parent wouldn't be cool with it.
The sort of parent who wraps her kids in Winter clothes in April and thinks that everyone who talks to their child is a priest. There are, unfortunately, parents like that.
I had the good fortune to fly to San Francisco this Christmas next to a Welsh woman who lived in New Zealand. Fair to say that she knew much more about rugby than I did, and talking rugby is a terrific way to kill time.
Geez, lighten up, Dad.
The sort of parent who wraps her kids in Winter clothes in April and thinks that everyone who talks to their child is a priest. There are, unfortunately, parents like that.
There are. The vast majority are fine with it. In fact most parents enjoy having others ooh and aah and tell them how cute their kids are.
Speaking of which, I'm writing this from the airport during my three hour layover. My two flights today I got A27 and A23. These are the highest Southwest numbers I have ever gotten. It's like Christmas.
I normally don't like talking to the passengers next to me as it is. Over the course of a five hour plane ride, this became a nightmare.
My ex-girlfriend used to refer to him as The Note Passer.
But by doing this you don't get the handjob. True story, last year during Christmas break my roommate was coming back and on the flight back the woman sitting next to him gave him a handjob. That doesn't happen if all you do is say hello.
Be nice to strangers sometimes they are nice to you.
So's your mom!
Ray -- are you sure the guy wasn't just pretending to be deaf?
Isn't this pretty much how BTF works?
Maybe she gave him the handjob so he WOULDN'T talk to her.
Yeah, Ray. All you needed to do was write a note to the guy that said, "Dude. I have you on 'ignore.'"
Or pass her notes.
That is amazing. Was the dude a baseball fan at least? Or at least not a liberal?
This seems like it would be a good Curb Your Enthusiasm scene, with Larry using progressively more and more exclamation points.
You should have pretended to be blind.
This is The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster. One of the all-time great children's books.
Or illiterate.
There's also an animated movie for it, which I remember being good as well (when I saw it 25+ years ago).
Andy would advise you to just have written, "What of it?" a couple of times, and the guy would have caught on.
Failing that, I'd suggest "STFU." Better yet, "STFU" in sign language.
Sort of like talking to me and Andy on BTF.
His name is Steve McGarrett
He's a Hawaiian cop
And there ain't no crime wave
That he can't stop
Book'em Dano that's the end of the show
And that's Hawaii
Hawaii 5-0
Try that with the theme music.
I have to say, 5-0 and Ray do seem a scary combo. If we are ever next to each other on a plane, I won't say a fukcing word.
DEAF GUY - "What do you think about Boston?"
RAY - "Because the dishwashing liquid screams the crackers into a raindrop cricket."
Now who the hell would believe you were engrossed by that?
I am now through Season 5 of Hawaii Five-0 and I am awaiting patiently the release of Season 6 on DVD in April. Season 7 coming in October.
These companies see me coming a mile away.
I can't seem to get into any of the new (current) shows. Seinfeld was the last show I watched weekly. And you have to go back to the '80s to find a drama I watched weekly.
Nobody, which is part of the problem.
Though most of the shows are quite good. You have to get over the fact that Jack Lord is really the only trained actor outside of James McCarthur -- the rest of the actors were basically plucked from the streets of Hawaii. So the rest of the actors are pretty wooden. And Lord tries to compensate by overacting.
Makes for an odd mix.
I was the same way. Then, when I was in middle school, I fell asleep in a car while on a long and multi-stop European trip, and I've been able to sleep anywhere, anytime in any position since. For me, the key was letting my neck relax so my head could just rest backwards.
Also, I've frequently flown through SFO, LAX, San Diego and Taipei, and I've only once had my luggage delayed -- the flight was overweight, they always knew where it was, and it was delivered a few hours after I got home.
It's possible that some airports are worse than others due to scheduling idiosyncrasies, more frequent delays or poor baggage handling systems.
Having flown a lot of trans-Pacific flights as a kid has basically numbed me to the horrors of air travel. To me, it's basically just going into a room, sitting in a chair and magically appearing somewhere. In that sense, my perception seems to most closely match PreservedFish's.
Since 2000, I've flown from the US to Sweden and back, to Germany and back, and twice to Shanghai (my second trip back is coming in two months). I've yet to have my luggage delayed, and I've yet to be strip-searched by security (or whatever it is that they do to random people). Those 12-14 hour flights aren't the most comfortable in the world, but I usually bring a good book or two along.
My carry-on bag for our return flight is probably going to be heavier than any of the bags I'm checking. The trick is going to be my wife's carry-on. She's pregnant, which means I'll probably have to help her carry it on.
The worst airport I've ever been to is the Macao airport. There is seriously nothing to do there while waiting for a connecting flight. There is one small, overpriced restaurant, two crappy gift shops and a bunch of seats. There is free wireless internet, which only works for 10 minutes and doesn't let you back on two times in a row. Worse, if you come in with renminbi, they'll overcharge you for everything. Rather than converting the prices over to RMB from the Macao Peso, they just charge the same price across the board. Thus, a 20 Peso Coke is 20 RMB, not 10 (as it would be if I exchanged my money). I just wish they would accept Taiwan dollars at that rate (20 RMB = 100 NTD = $3.25 or so; getting a coke for 20 NTD would be a steal).
I haven't been to a lot of airports, so I can't say this for certain, but my favorite so far is the Shanghai airport. It's new, clean, and very foreigner friendly. The Shanghai train station, on the other hand...
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