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Friday, March 27, 2009

Ground Swallows Girl As She Plays Baseball

What seemed like a carefree game of baseball Wednesday turned scary for three children when Paje Wiklund, 9, disappeared under the ground as she was running to first base.

I got nothing that could improve upon that sentence that doesn’t involve mole-people.

Gamingboy Posted: March 27, 2009 at 01:47 PM | 137 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: general

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   1. twon8 Posted: March 27, 2009 at 03:58 PM (#3116599)
I had a dream that a hamburger was trying to eat me
   2. RB in NYC (Now with New iPhone!) Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:02 PM (#3116602)
In Soviet Russia, girl swallows you!

Wait...
   3. Lujack Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:03 PM (#3116605)
Paje?
   4. Dewey, Steven Wright Wannabe and Soupuss Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:04 PM (#3116607)
Paje?

That was my reaction.

Parents really need to stop making up names.
   5. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:04 PM (#3116610)
Maybe Alvin Dark is the groundskeeper for that field?
   6. The Good Face Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:06 PM (#3116615)
That'll teach her to say Matt Wieters is overrated.
   7. Lassus Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:07 PM (#3116618)
This story has everything for a thread. The lack of developed park areas in economically-depressed NE Portland, a woman claiming angels saved her grand-daughter, girls playing baseball...

I can almost see Repoz as Master Po and Gamingboy as Caine, here. "Very good, grasshopper".
   8. The District Attorney Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:10 PM (#3116622)
Jose Tabata's wife is in police custody, right? They might wanna make sure.
   9. Guapo Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:12 PM (#3116623)
a woman claiming angels saved her grand-daughter

What sort of crappy angel lets the kid fall down the sinkhole in the first place?
   10. sptaylor Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:13 PM (#3116626)
It just said that "She's got an angel watching." It never said that the angel saved her.
   11. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:13 PM (#3116628)
Just call me lucifer cause I'm in need of some restraint.
   12. Designated Sitter (GGC) Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:15 PM (#3116632)
Paje?


When I first saw the name, I thought this happened in Holland.
   13. Lassus Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:15 PM (#3116633)
Maybe the angel opened the sinkhole, and was watching to see what happened.

"Damn that Danni Wiklund-Abbot!"
   14. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:17 PM (#3116634)
When I first saw the name, I thought this happened in Holland.

Holey Honkball!
   15. Rusty Priske Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:18 PM (#3116635)
It just said that "She's got an angel watching." It never said that the angel saved her.


Basically her 'guardian' angel is a big jerk that is throwing random stuff out there so he can see what happens.
   16. aleskel Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:18 PM (#3116636)
Surely this is God's punishment for not hussling down the line.
   17. Swedish Chef Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:19 PM (#3116637)
Seeing that Wiklund is a Swedish name, I can assure everybody that "Paje" is neither Swedish or Finnish.
   18. Lassus Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:19 PM (#3116640)
Surely this is God's punishment for not hussling down the line.

Look out, Adam Dunn!
   19. The Essex Snead Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:20 PM (#3116643)
Imagine if she was sliding into first!
   20. aleskel Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:21 PM (#3116646)
sidenote: is it "husling" or "hussling?"
   21. gef the talking mongoose Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:22 PM (#3116647)
They probably shouldn't be playing ball in that pastureland pictured in Invaders from Mars.
   22. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:22 PM (#3116648)
sidenote: is it "husling" or "hussling?"

I always thought it was hustling.
   23. Designated Sitter (GGC) Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:22 PM (#3116649)
It's hustling.
   24. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:24 PM (#3116650)
Coke Coke Cokedy Coke Coke! Shooty's hustle pays off!
   25. aleskel Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:24 PM (#3116651)
I always thought it was hustling.

d'oh, should have known that. Thanks guys.
   26. Teheran's Uranium Enriched Missiles Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:26 PM (#3116653)
is it "husling" or "hussling?"

If you are referring to a young hussey, it should be hussling.
   27. Eric J is Financed by a Rich Grandpa Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:27 PM (#3116659)
Surely this is God's punishment for not hussling down the line.

Joe Maddon will never have to bench BJ Upton again.
   28. DL from MN Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:28 PM (#3116661)
I once ran into a pine tree chasing a flyball. I had to pick pine needles out of my skin but I still think this girl has me beat. I will say that I held onto the ball and made the out. I doubt she made it safely to first.
   29. Dr Love Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:28 PM (#3116662)
What was the sinkhole's Value Over Replacement Pit?
   30. Best Regards, Larry M. Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:29 PM (#3116664)
Looks like John's already gone to work pulling pranks from above.
   31. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:29 PM (#3116665)
I doubt she made it safely to first.

Depends. Did she hit the ball to Johnny Damon?
   32. Tom Nawrocki Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:29 PM (#3116667)
It just said that "She's got an angel watching." It never said that the angel saved her.

That's because it was Gary Matthews Jr.
   33. The Yankee Clapper Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:31 PM (#3116670)
See, there is a reason folks yell "GET OFF MY LAWN"!
   34. Hack Wilson Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:31 PM (#3116671)
The girl that went to pretend to help her had the ball and tagged her out.
   35. The cushions are crowded for Edmundo Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:37 PM (#3116680)
Surely this is God's punishment for not hussling down the line.

Look out, Adam Dunn!

It would take more than a mere sinkhole to swallow him up. Think a rupture along a major fault line.

I kind of like "hussling" as a verb to describe what hussies do.
   36. Crashburn Alley Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:41 PM (#3116689)
The title seems like it came from Mad-Libs.
   37. DL from MN Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:43 PM (#3116692)
> The girl that went to pretend to help her had the ball and tagged her out.

That's unnecessary. She was running to first, all she had to do was step on the base for the force out. That is assuming the base didn't fall in the hole also.

Another story playing in the yard. My little brother walked up behind me while I was batting and I got him in the forehead with the backswing. I glanced at him, determined he wasn't dead and ran to first base to make sure I wasn't out. When I got to first I saw him running toward the house with blood running down his face. My punishment was to wash the blood out of his clothes while my folks took him in to get stitches. I'm still not sure why I was punished; he never should have walked up behind me while I was batting.
   38. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:48 PM (#3116694)
I'm still not sure why I was punished; he never should have walked up behind me while I was batting.


Maybe they were trying to head off your budding sociopathology? Or probably they just didn't want to was the blood out of his clothes themselves.
   39. Hack Wilson Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:49 PM (#3116698)
I'm pretty sure I once saw a runner actually dive underground and come out of the ground in back of the fielder trying to tag him. Greatest game ever!
   40. The cushions are crowded for Edmundo Posted: March 27, 2009 at 04:58 PM (#3116709)
I got him in the forehead with the backswing
I hadn't thought about my adventure in this area for a while. Back in my softball days, I played on a team that had a mascot of sorts. Bobby was very limited in his mental capacity -- the sponsor of the team mostly took care of him because the kid's parents didn't much. Bobby was about 18 or so and we would get the other team give him an at bat "to start the game", but it wouldn't count. Bobby could flair the ball into the OF, so when he hit it he'd take off running the bases. If the other team knew him, they'd usually mess up fielding and let him circle the bases. Bobby didn't pay much mind to base coaches.
The funniest thing is that Bobby had an arrogant streak in him -- if he circled the bases he'd point to field yelling "I showed you, pal." The "pal" part was my favorite and it was quickly adopted as part of our lingo.
Anyway, one day I was walking towards the batter's box and swinging the bat around to get loose. Behind me I hear a sickening crack/thud noise. What an awful feeling. I knew instantly that it had to have been Bobby. His reponse was funny (after the fact, of course, once we were sure that he was alright) -- "I'M GOING TO HAVE A HEADACHE!"
   41. Biff isn't really an apt handle anymore Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:01 PM (#3116715)
Another story playing in the yard. My little brother walked up behind me while I was batting and I got him in the forehead with the backswing. I glanced at him, determined he wasn't dead and ran to first base to make sure I wasn't out. When I got to first I saw him running toward the house with blood running down his face. My punishment was to wash the blood out of his clothes while my folks took him in to get stitches. I'm still not sure why I was punished; he never should have walked up behind me while I was batting.

I did that to a younger cousin once, but I got her in the mouth. Knocked out a couple of teeth.
   42. twon8 Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:01 PM (#3116717)
Maybe the angel opened the sinkhole


not a sinkhole, a septic tank, long abandoned.
   43. Obama Bomaye Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:01 PM (#3116718)
"I'M GOING TO HAVE A HEADACHE!"

and did he?
   44. DL from MN Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:10 PM (#3116727)
> probably they just didn't want to was the blood out of his clothes themselves

More likely they figured they would be at the hospital a while and my mom didn't want a stain to set in. My brother and Robert from Everybody Loves Raymond have a lot in common.
   45. McCoy Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:10 PM (#3116728)
In Soviet Russia girl swallows ground.
   46. Hang down your head, Tom Foley Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:17 PM (#3116740)
She still has more range than Jeter.
   47. Greg (U)K Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:26 PM (#3116753)
I got him in the forehead with the backswing


One of my uncles did that to one of my other uncles once, except with an axe.
It's a hilarious story re-told at family dinners, with the glorious punchline of the brother with the axe chasing the other one home screaming "Don't Tell Mom!"
   48. The cushions are crowded for Edmundo Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:28 PM (#3116755)
"I'M GOING TO HAVE A HEADACHE!"

and did he?


He was very prescient. Yes, he did.
   49. There are no words... (Met Fan Charlie) Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:29 PM (#3116758)
And did Sting et al send their love down the well?
   50. cercopithecus aethiops Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:30 PM (#3116759)
It's hustling.

Wanna bet?
   51. Slivers of Maranville (SdeB) Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:39 PM (#3116770)

It just said that "She's got an angel watching." It never said that the angel saved her.


Angels in the Infield? Hey, we got a sequel! Get me Danny Glover on line 2!
   52. McCoy Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:44 PM (#3116774)
You'll have to get somebody else, Danny Glover died this morning.
   53. rlc Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:44 PM (#3116776)
Child hustlers in Portland - I think Gus Van Sant already covered this story...
   54. Dewey, Steven Wright Wannabe and Soupuss Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:45 PM (#3116777)
Danny Glover died this morning.

Really? Wow.
   55. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:47 PM (#3116780)
Danny Glover died this morning.

Really? Wow.


Seconded. Damn. The man had a hell of a career.
   56. Tom Nawrocki Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:47 PM (#3116781)
Nothing about Danny Glover on Google News. Are you sure you don't have him confused with England Dan Seals?
   57. DL from MN Posted: March 27, 2009 at 05:56 PM (#3116795)
Fox 12 in Oregon doesn't know how to make news. In New Mexico they would have kept her down there for a few days so they could set up a big drill and a carnival.
   58. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader Posted: March 27, 2009 at 06:01 PM (#3116800)
Nothing about Danny Glover on Google News. Are you sure you don't have him confused with England Dan Seals?

I also don't see anything on the wires.
   59. Gamingboy Posted: March 27, 2009 at 06:02 PM (#3116802)
I can't find anything about Danny Glover dying.


Anyway, allow me to say that I just KNOW that this is what the final play of the World Series will be. The Cubs have lost every other way. So of course they will lose because Fukudome gets trapped in a sinkhole.
   60. villageidiom Posted: March 27, 2009 at 06:04 PM (#3116804)
She gets in a hole on her way to first base? In my day "on the way to first base" meant a lot less than that.

Best Regards
   61. Dewey, Steven Wright Wannabe and Soupuss Posted: March 27, 2009 at 06:04 PM (#3116805)
The Cubs have lost every other way. So of course they will lose because Fukudome gets trapped in a sinkhole.

I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that the Cubs will win the World Series some time in the next five years.
   62. RJ in TO Posted: March 27, 2009 at 06:06 PM (#3116810)
Anyway, allow me to say that I just KNOW that this is what the final play of the World Series will be. The Cubs have lost every other way. So of course they will lose because Fukudome gets trapped in a sinkhole.


Not necessarily. To the best of my knowledge, the Cubs have never lost due to an asteroid strike, so that's still an option too.
   63. phredbird Posted: March 27, 2009 at 06:26 PM (#3116842)
dang, village. you had me there for a minute. i tend to read the comments before checking to see who wrote them.
   64. DL from MN Posted: March 27, 2009 at 06:26 PM (#3116844)
That's because it was Gary Matthews Jr.


Kurt Stillwell

(or Kelly Gruber)
   65. Home Run Teal & Black Black Black Gone! Posted: March 27, 2009 at 06:29 PM (#3116847)
Surely this is God's punishment for not hussling down the line.


And this is the line that got me weird looks in the office.
   66. The Essex Snead Posted: March 27, 2009 at 06:31 PM (#3116850)
Shea Hillenbrand wrote in to tell you all that the ground is sinking.
   67. villageidiom Posted: March 27, 2009 at 06:32 PM (#3116854)
dang, village. you had me there for a minute. i tend to read the comments before checking to see who wrote them.
It's the closest I could come to a Brattainian line. It's only fitting to pay tribute to the master.
   68. Tuque Posted: March 27, 2009 at 06:42 PM (#3116871)
Between this and the rumor that Danny Glover died, this an unfortunate day for my noble hometown.

Yet I am still filled with pride.
   69. Craig in MN Posted: March 27, 2009 at 06:46 PM (#3116879)
She fell into a septic tank? I know people say that Pujols can be really dangerous at first base, but I thought they were talking about something else.

Best Regards
   70. Pat Rapper's Delight Posted: March 27, 2009 at 06:59 PM (#3116905)
She still has more range than Jeter.

Shades of FO's "Hole in Zone" stat for team defense.

What has more range? Derek Jeter or Hole in Infield?
   71. WhoWantsTeixeiraDessert Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:16 PM (#3116937)
You can tell that nobody gave a crap about that field.
   72. Srul Itza Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:24 PM (#3116953)
Paje?

That was my reaction.

Parents really need to stop making up names.


Why stop there? The girl who ran for help was named Danni, and the one who pulled her out was named Gabbi.
   73. Cyclone Alley Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:25 PM (#3116955)
In retrospect, it was a bad idea to play a game at the Sarlaac Pit.
   74. Still Waiting on Pork Chops (John R.) Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:25 PM (#3116957)
Craig wins the thread.
   75. WhoWantsTeixeiraDessert Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:26 PM (#3116958)
Besides, that's luxury in comparison to our ballfield. In my day, we could only have dreamed of falling into an empty septic tank; we used to routinely fall into a pool of underground nuclear waste infested with five-eyed piranhas and crocodiles the size of Curt Schilling's ego. IF we were LUCKY.
   76. Crispix Attacks Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:26 PM (#3116959)
The girl who ran for help was named Danni, and the one who pulled her out was named Gabbi.

Those might be nicknames. Do we make fun of people the media refers to as "Dan" or "Gabe"?
   77. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:28 PM (#3116960)
Those might be nicknames. Do we make fun of people the media refers to as "Dan" or "Gabe"?

I'm pretty sure we make fun of everybody, so, yeah.
   78. Crispix Attacks Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:30 PM (#3116965)
And these frivolous new parents of 1931, giving their kids undignified names like "Mickey". Where are we going as a culture?
   79. Srul Itza Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:30 PM (#3116967)
Those might be nicknames.

I doubt it. The single "i" at the end is not how you normally render that kind of nickname -- either a "y" or an "ie".
   80. The District Attorney Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:34 PM (#3116976)
That's because it was Gary Matthews Jr.
Gary Matthews Jr. died???
   81. Gamingboy Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:35 PM (#3116978)
By the way folks: Danny Glover is still not dead.
   82. Ron Johnson Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:41 PM (#3116987)
#28 I've still got a scar on my knee from sliding into second base more than 50 years ago. Well more likely from extracting second base from my knee. For reasons that escape me now (though I'm certain that we had a perfectly logical reason -- like it was close to where second should be, why bother moving something) we were using a broken coke bottle.

Still this girl has me beat.
   83. villageidiom Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:41 PM (#3116988)
By the way folks: Danny Glover is still not dead.


Mostly dead is slightly alive.
   84. Randy Jones Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:43 PM (#3116991)
By the way folks: Danny Glover is still not dead.

But is he too old for this ####?
   85. Craig in MN Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:46 PM (#3116996)
By the way folks: Danny Glover is still not dead.

However, longtime NBC newsman and bow-tie enthusiast, Irving R. Levine, is dead. I like to think that McCoy simply confused the two.
   86. Harry Balsagne's transparent jealousy Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:49 PM (#3117002)
Danny Glover died this morning.

Dammit! And he was just six days away from retirement!
   87. The Keith Law Blog Blah Blah (battlekow) Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:55 PM (#3117013)
I doubt it. The single "i" at the end is not how you normally render that kind of nickname -- either a "y" or an "ie".

http://www.babynamestats.com/search.php?name=danni
http://www.babynamestats.com/search.php?name=gabi

"Paje" I can't explain.
   88. Willie Mayspedes Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:56 PM (#3117016)
Where did all of the poo go?
   89. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:58 PM (#3117019)
However, longtime NBC newsman and bow-tie enthusiast, Irving R. Levine, is dead. I like to think that McCoy simply confused the two.

I want what McCoy is having!
   90. DL from MN Posted: March 27, 2009 at 07:58 PM (#3117021)
I'm pronouncing that name "PA-hey" until someone can justify otherwise.
   91. Ron Johnson Posted: March 27, 2009 at 08:03 PM (#3117030)
"Paje" I can't explain.


That's easy. Check "Page" (or "paige") on the site. Parents might just be bad (or creative) spellers. Think of the story behind "Joba"
   92. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: March 27, 2009 at 08:07 PM (#3117036)
Danny Glover, Danny Shmover. My heart has been a cold stone ever since "Lethal Weapon 4" and Joe Pesci's tragic monologue about his dead pet Froggy.
   93. Home Run Teal & Black Black Black Gone! Posted: March 27, 2009 at 08:08 PM (#3117037)
Mr. and Mrs. Chamberlain wanted to name their son after a certain voodoo deity but screwed up a vowel.
   94. DL from MN Posted: March 27, 2009 at 08:10 PM (#3117044)
Go through the birth announcements in your local fish wrap if you want to see the number of ways people can spell "Jaden". I think they passed a law recently that every baby's name has to rhyme with "aden".
   95. Willie Mayspedes Posted: March 27, 2009 at 08:18 PM (#3117059)
I know a kid named Aiden. His parents names are Julian and Chelsea so I have no idea why they named him that.
   96. Gamingboy Posted: March 27, 2009 at 08:21 PM (#3117065)
I can report that Generallisimo Franco is still dead, however.
   97. The cushions are crowded for Edmundo Posted: March 27, 2009 at 08:29 PM (#3117078)
By the way folks: Danny Glover is still not dead.

However, he is not in the best shape of his life.
   98. Bob Dernier Cri Posted: March 27, 2009 at 08:34 PM (#3117081)
NameVoyager is one of the all-time-great visual presentations of data. For instance, 4 of every 100,000 boys born in the US in the 1920s were given the name "Rogers." But "no names starting with Tyrus were in the top 1,000 boys' names in any decade."
   99. Kiko Sakata Posted: March 27, 2009 at 08:49 PM (#3117108)
I know a kid named Aiden. His parents names are Julian and Chelsea so I have no idea why they named him that.


My youngest son had a classmate named Ondrej (pronounced "Andre"). His parents were non-ethnic whites and his father's name was Michael. I never had the guts to ask them what the deal was with their son's name.
   100. Der_K is feeling better now. Posted: March 27, 2009 at 09:04 PM (#3117118)
Ondrej - that's Czech, right?
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