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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

HAUTE LIVING MAGAZINE: FEATURE : MARK TEIXEIRA

“Haute Living is targeted towards those who desire—and have the means to experience—the finest things in life.” And this includes that Teixeira pan?

“It’s so much grander, so much more impressive, so much more special than anywhere I’ve been, and I’ve played in some great places,” he said. “But when you come to New York and you see 27 championships, you see Monument Park and all the great players that have played there, when you [put on] the pinstripes, it’s just grander and more special than anything else.”

His wife and college sweetheart Leigh Williams played a big part in his decision to put on the iconic pinstripes.

“I had five teams that I was negotiating with all over the place, you know ‘should I go here, should I go there,’” he said. “But at the end of the day, my wife and I were at dinner, and we looked at all the different options and said, ok well if all else is equal, you know the Yankees is the team that we’d want to play for. And in the back of my mind ever since I was a rookie, I’d [thought] it would be kind of cool to play for the Yankees, because I understand how special that is.”

...And he has nothing but good things to say about his current team.

“A lot of people think because of our payroll, because we’re in New York City, they assume we’re very uptight, they assume we’re very almost robotic, but this is one of the most fun teams I’ve ever been on,” he said. “We have a lot of jokesters on the team, we’re constantly getting on each other, we’re having fun – when you win it’s easy to have fun. And when you win here in New York there is nothing better than the energy in that stadium, the energy when you go out in the city, or anywhere around New York because everyone loves the Yankees.”

Repoz Posted: August 24, 2011 at 09:47 PM | 24 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: business, fantasy baseball, media, yankees

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   1. Shock Posted: August 24, 2011 at 10:32 PM (#3908136)
Maybe I'm dense, but I clicked on this for pictures and I can't find any.
   2. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: August 24, 2011 at 10:48 PM (#3908150)
“A lot of people think because of our payroll, because we’re in New York City, they assume we’re very uptight, they assume we’re very almost robotic, but this is one of the most fun teams I’ve ever been on,” he said. “We have a lot of jokesters on the team, we’re constantly getting on each other, we’re having fun – when you win it’s easy to have fun.”
No, no, Mark, this isn't it. People don't think that Nick Swisher is robotic, no one thinks CC Sabathia or Robby Cano or AJ Burnett is a corporate stooge. We think you're a robotic, corporate stooge.

And you know why? Because you say things like "we have a lot of jokesters on the team," which is the sort of thing that no human being has actually ever said. Because you're being profiled in something called "Haute Living Magazine", which no human being has ever actually read. You, Mark Teixeira, are the one that people think of as boring, because you are. Horrifically, blindingly, boring.

I guess the question with Mark is whether he's actually this boring, all the way down to his core, or whether there's some sort of repression that will return in later years. In other words, is Teixeira as boring as he makes himself out to be, or did he have to keep the Haute Living Magazine reporter from looking too closely, lest they uncover the android sex dungeon?
   3. Lars6788 Posted: August 24, 2011 at 11:02 PM (#3908155)
He is similar to J.D. Drew that both are in the business of playing baseball to be paid - but Teixeira doesn't exactly shy away from the attention being a Major League star brings - he's just never going to publicly stray from a corporate image of the ideal MLB ballplayer however.
   4. Guapo Posted: August 24, 2011 at 11:25 PM (#3908169)
Because you say things like "we have a lot of jokesters on the team," which is the sort of thing that no human being has actually ever said.


Incorrect.

The following people have said, "We have a lot of jokesters on the team":

Yuba College's red-headed forward Sean Harris

Juneau-Douglas High School catcher Nano Jacobson

New England Revolution goalie Matt Reis

Oklahoma Sooners guard Omar Leary

Georgetown defender Ben Slingerland

Texas softball player Rachael Cook

Just to be clear- these are only the people who said that and had it reported on the internet. Prior to the creation of the internet, there were probably lots of other people who also said it. I really don't know what the basis for your statement was. You need to do more research before saying something like that.

Because you're being profiled in something called "Haute Living Magazine", which no human being has ever actually read.


From their website:

To ensure we reach the most elite audience, Haute Living uses a controlled distribution model that places the magazine directly in the hands of our country’s most powerful individuals. Our distribution model includes, but is not limited to, placement on board 7,500 private jet flights every month, leaving from 14 major markets; direct mailings to an extremely exclusive list of Who’s Who across the United States and to more than 35,000 homes worth in excess of $3 million in our key regional markets; placement in more than 180 FBO private airports worldwide, in the lobbies of more than 1,400 top buildings, and in the rooms of the elite hotels in our cities.


This explains why no Red Sox fan would be aware of this magazine.
   5. Greg (U)K Posted: August 24, 2011 at 11:37 PM (#3908180)
To ensure we reach the most elite audience, Haute Living uses a controlled distribution model that places the magazine directly in the hands of our country’s most powerful individuals. Our distribution model includes, but is not limited to, placement on board 7,500 private jet flights every month, leaving from 14 major markets; direct mailings to an extremely exclusive list of Who’s Who across the United States and to more than 35,000 homes worth in excess of $3 million in our key regional markets; placement in more than 180 FBO private airports worldwide, in the lobbies of more than 1,400 top buildings, and in the rooms of the elite hotels in our cities.

You've yet to win me over on the "jokesters" front, but this is pretty damning evidence. No corporate stooge would ever appear in a magazine like that.
   6. Famous Original Joe C Posted: August 24, 2011 at 11:43 PM (#3908184)
Yuba College's red-headed forward Sean Harris

Juneau-Douglas High School catcher Nano Jacobson

New England Revolution goalie Matt Reis

Oklahoma Sooners guard Omar Leary

Georgetown defender Ben Slingerland

Texas softball player Rachael Cook


All boring people. It's true, I looked it up.
   7. puck Posted: August 24, 2011 at 11:45 PM (#3908188)
Because you're being profiled in something called "Haute Living Magazine", which no human being has ever actually read.


The Tommy John issue sold out in Indiana.
   8. Shock Posted: August 24, 2011 at 11:46 PM (#3908190)
No, no, Mark, this isn't it. People don't think that Nick Swisher is robotic, no one thinks CC Sabathia or Robby Cano or AJ Burnett is a corporate stooge. We think you're a robotic, corporate stooge.

And you know why? Because you say things like "we have a lot of jokesters on the team," which is the sort of thing that no human being has actually ever said. Because you're being profiled in something called "Haute Living Magazine", which no human being has ever actually read. You, Mark Teixeira, are the one that people think of as boring, because you are. Horrifically, blindingly, boring.

I guess the question with Mark is whether he's actually this boring, all the way down to his core, or whether there's some sort of repression that will return in later years. In other words, is Teixeira as boring as he makes himself out to be, or did he have to keep the Haute Living Magazine reporter from looking too closely, lest they uncover the android sex dungeon?
play for the Yankees and I'm a Red Sox fan


There we go.
   9. SoSHially Unacceptable Posted: August 25, 2011 at 12:02 AM (#3908200)

There we go.


How does that explain Mikael's feelings on Nick, CC, Robby and A.J.?

As I told Andy, this Red Sox fan detested Teixeira long before he donned Lucifer's Pajamas. That he's now wearing them only makes the hate feel more natural.
   10. FancyPantsHandle glistening with foreign substance Posted: August 25, 2011 at 12:24 AM (#3908211)
the android sex dungeon?

Where do I get one of those?
   11. Shock Posted: August 25, 2011 at 01:05 AM (#3908252)

How does that explain Mikael's feelings on Nick, CC, Robby and A.J.?


Oh, I'm sure he hates them for other reasons.
   12. Shock Posted: August 25, 2011 at 01:20 AM (#3908278)
the android sex dungeon?

Where do I get one of those?


At the android app store?
   13. Weekly Journalist_ Posted: August 25, 2011 at 01:30 AM (#3908292)
More hits, fewer interviews...
   14. Cowboy Popup Posted: August 25, 2011 at 01:36 AM (#3908303)
0-3 tonight, hitting .247.

He's also boring as hell to watch!

Edit: Game tying HR tonight, uh, I feel silly.
   15. Weekly Journalist_ Posted: August 25, 2011 at 01:40 AM (#3908315)
Haha, just hit a game tying homer in the bottom of the 8th after I badmouthed him all night.
   16. McCoy Wilfong for Money Posted: August 25, 2011 at 01:42 AM (#3908319)
Where do I get one of those?

Check out the adverts in the back of Haute Living Magazine.
   17. los athleticos Posted: August 25, 2011 at 06:22 PM (#3908859)
I'm curious about Tex's comment that he was negotiating with five teams. Four are obvious, I think: Yanks, Boston, Baltimore and Anaheim. Who's the fifth? Cubs? Texas?
   18. YR Misses Reggie Bars Posted: August 25, 2011 at 06:28 PM (#3908861)
The Nationals, who actually made the largest offer.
   19. The District Attorney Posted: August 25, 2011 at 06:33 PM (#3908868)
I'm curious about Tex's comment that he was negotiating with five teams. Four are obvious, I think: Yanks, Boston, Baltimore and Anaheim. Who's the fifth?
Was it Washington?
   20. SoSH U at work Posted: August 25, 2011 at 06:36 PM (#3908871)
The Nationals, who actually made the largest offer.


I'm seeing 9/$180 from the Nats, which wouldn't be larger than what he signed for.
   21. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: August 25, 2011 at 06:49 PM (#3908881)
I've told this story before, but a friend of mine is a reporter for MLB.com, and he says that off the record Teixeira is apparently plenty personable and seems like a normal guy, but goes into cliché mode the instant he's being interviewed. FWIW, I'm a Yankee fan and I agree with MCoA. I think the answer to MCoA's question is almost surely the latter. (Well, maybe not the android sex dungeon part, but you know what I mean.)
   22. YR Misses Reggie Bars Posted: August 25, 2011 at 06:52 PM (#3908882)
   23. SoSH U at work Posted: August 25, 2011 at 07:04 PM (#3908893)
According to multiple sources, the Washington Nationals have sweetened their proposal to first baseman Mark Teixeira, offering him an eight-year deal worth $178 to $184 million.


Didn't see that one. So then it's most accurate to say Nats possibly made him the largest ofer.
   24. YR Misses Reggie Bars Posted: August 25, 2011 at 07:15 PM (#3908905)
The Nats offer also had an opt-out after 4 years.

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