Ilitch wants angry players - 06/10/01

Here’s a few suggestions that will give Illitch what he wants:

1) Skip a check.
2) Only serve Little Caesar pizza in the postgame spread.
3) Tell the manager to cut out music, card playing, and beer in the locker room.
4) Conduct postgame rah-rah speeches after every loss.
5) Require clean shaven ballplayers.
6) Invoke the “pizza delivery” community service clause in everyone’s contract.
7) Make *all* players act friendly with fans.
8) Sneak into clubhouse and coat each player’s athletic supporter with Icy Hot before the next game.
9) Make players answer questions honestly and without clich?s.
10)Bring back old tyme woolen uniforms.