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Thursday, April 16, 2009

Jeff Francoeur’s Blog

But the newest feature, which was added last year, is the massive Chik-Fil-A cow on top of the stadium, which has a mechanical arm that does the ‘tomahawk chop’ during games. It is 40 feet high and weighs over 15,000 lbs.

What is he, a Turner Field fact book?

Lazzeri Posted: April 16, 2009 at 03:30 AM | 39 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
Tags: general

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1. Rear Admiral Piazza Posted: April 16, 2009 at 04:44 AM (#3140373)

This blog is 0.13 better than it was at this time last year.

2. Athletic Supporter gangnam style Posted: April 16, 2009 at 04:46 AM (#3140375)

Man, there is a ridiculous amount of product placement in that blog entry. I wonder if Frenchy is getting paid for all that.

3. frannyzoo Posted: April 16, 2009 at 04:48 AM (#3140378)

Okay, okay...I promise to spell his name right now. Just please make it go away. Immediately.

4. Justin T is expanding the aperture of awareness Posted: April 16, 2009 at 04:49 AM (#3140379)

Hello, I'm Jeff Francoeur.

You may remember me from such Do-It-Yourself home videos as "The Half-Assed Approach to Strike Zone Control."

5. Tuque

Posted: April 16, 2009 at 04:54 AM (#3140382)

And in one of his early entries, he said "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets." And among all in Atlanta his voice was heard.

An even earlier entry, however, in which he told the Mets "Behold, I will corrupt your seed and spread dung upon your faces," was much more controversial.

6. Crispix Attacks 2: Swag Airlines Posted: April 16, 2009 at 04:58 AM (#3140385)

This is the most boring baseball-related thing I have ever tried to read. I estimate that there is a 1% probability that Jeff Francœur wrote any of these words.

7. Nineto Lezcano hits the pinata for the candy (CW) Posted: April 16, 2009 at 05:02 AM (#3140390)

KILL ME NOW.

8. Rear Admiral Piazza Posted: April 16, 2009 at 05:04 AM (#3140392)

In other news, Jeff Francoeur is literate.

9. Dan Szymborski

Posted: April 16, 2009 at 05:09 AM (#3140394)

I love the completely random Delta Airlines advertisements. Past entries are great, too:

Not only do the Braves get to play in one of the nicest facilities in the Grapefruit League, but we're literally stationed right on the Walt Disney World property at Disney's Wide World of Sports.

Who talks like this? Seriously.

"I went to the ballgame last night. At the game, I enjoyed a tasty Esskay Frank, the Official Hot Dog of the Baltimore Orioles. It took a while to get home after the game, but my Mazda6 5-door liftback automobile provided the power and control I required to navigate the busy streets of Baltimore."

Because of the space between all of us, we do a lot of traveling on the road (instead of flying) this time of year. It takes us all back to our days in the minor leagues, where we travelled everywhere on busses and always wished we could just hop on a Delta flight.

All-in-all, there are 11 mentions of Delta on the front page. There are 10 total mentions of the Braves.

10. Orange & Blue Velvet Posted: April 16, 2009 at 06:24 AM (#3140410)

It's what one would expect from a Jeff Francoeur blog... hackery.

11. Adam M

Posted: April 16, 2009 at 06:54 AM (#3140414)

Finally! A place I can go to find out what is happening with Jeff Francoeur.

12. We don't have dahlians at the Palace of Wisdom Posted: April 16, 2009 at 08:44 AM (#3140426)

When we have been at home in Orlando and not out on the road, Catie and I have had a lot of family in town to visit. They've literally taken Delta flights in from all over the country to come see us.

13. Biff, highly-regarded young guy Posted: April 16, 2009 at 08:59 AM (#3140427)

FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR FRANCOEUR

Francoeur?

14. ChuckO Posted: April 16, 2009 at 10:20 AM (#3140431)

Francoeur must have hired one heckuva PR firm. I can't wait until he has his Hooter's waitress incident.

15. Swoboda is freedom Posted: April 16, 2009 at 10:36 AM (#3140438)

Does Frenchy have to mention the AJC in every post on his blog as quid pro quo?

16. J.C. Bradbury Posted: April 16, 2009 at 10:56 AM (#3140440)

I believe that Delta sponsorship played a big role in shortening his trip to the minors last year.

17. bfan Posted: April 16, 2009 at 11:34 AM (#3140449)

"I can't wait until he has his Hooter's waitress incident."

The Hooters waitress will turn out to be the long lost daughter of Sister Theresa, and Jeff will be a hero for discovering her.

The product mention stuff is really embarrassing; he is a walking Nascar vehicle.

18. greenback

Posted: April 16, 2009 at 11:39 AM (#3140452)

Does the Chik-Fil-A cow do the tomahawk chop on Sundays?

19. tribefan Posted: April 16, 2009 at 11:41 AM (#3140454)

First, if you've got kids, this is a great experience for them. Just inside the North gates is Tooner Field, which is a cool interactive area with characters and games from the Cartoon Network

I wonder if that includes Frylock or Xavier.

And of course, if you're a big enough fan to travel across the country on Delta and see your favorite team play, there are some really exciting celebrations and events that take place on Opening Day at all the ballparks around the country.

No way someone actually would write that on their own.

20. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: April 16, 2009 at 11:55 AM (#3140461)

You know, I didn't dislike Frenchy before, I was just perplexed why a crappy player would get so much attention. But now that he's whored himself to the corporate interests trying to destroy our language, I hope he gets hit by a bus.

It's what one would expect from a Jeff Francoeur blog... hackery.

Very nice, sir!

21. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: April 16, 2009 at 11:58 AM (#3140463)

When we have been at home in Orlando and not out on the road, Catie and I have had a lot of family in town to visit. They've literally taken Delta flights in from all over the country to come see us. It has mostly been Catie's family so far, but my parents are coming down this week and I can't wait to see them. Also, my agent Molly Fletcher from Career Sports & Entertainmentflies down from Atlanta often and we all get to spend time together.

Molly, your copy fcking sucks!

22. bfan Posted: April 16, 2009 at 12:10 PM (#3140466)

23. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: April 16, 2009 at 12:17 PM (#3140471)

It does occur to me that the point of this type of a blog is to create hits and attention to what one writes, and all that those sponsors mentioned in the blog are seeing are the number of hits, many of which will be generated by the people coming from this site.

I don't think a one time hit of 30 or 40 views is going to make Frenchy that much money. I doubt even that many of us RTFA anyway.

24. Obi One Kenobi Nil

Posted: April 16, 2009 at 01:16 PM (#3140517)

I hope the blog keeps going, the world needs to know what Jeff's favourite brand of bog roll is.

25. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: April 16, 2009 at 01:19 PM (#3140521)

I hope the blog keeps going, the world needs to know what Jeff's favourite brand of bog roll is.

I think I'm going to develop a Francoeur blog-speak alter ego for all future Frenchy threads.

26. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: April 16, 2009 at 01:35 PM (#3140548)

Honestly, I'm kind of surprised that he can write. I always pictured him signing his contracts with a big, wobbly "X".

27. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: April 16, 2009 at 01:37 PM (#3140552)

Honestly, I'm kind of surprised that he can write. I always pictured him signing his contracts with a big, wobbly "X".

Vlad, he no more writes that blog than I play power forward for the Oklahoma City Thunder.

28. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: April 16, 2009 at 01:41 PM (#3140565)

"Vlad, he no more writes that blog than I play power forward for the Oklahoma City Thunder."

I dunno. If he were moonlighting as a PR flack, it'd explain how he keeps getting all this positive press.

29. tribefan Posted: April 16, 2009 at 01:48 PM (#3140579)

this thing is priceless

Then in early November, Catie and I celebrated our one-year wedding anniversary in Atlanta at the Four Seasons Hotel. We had hoped to get back to Punta Mita, Mexico. for a couple of days, which was where we went on our honeymoon, but being at the Four Seasons made us forget we were even in Atlanta in the first place. It was incredibly relaxing.

What are some of your favorite hotels in your home city where you can go to and spend a night as a nice little "getaway"?

30. Dr Love Posted: April 16, 2009 at 03:33 PM (#3140729)

I like how he asks questions at the end but you can't leave comments. Just giving you discussion points for your lunch break.

31. Hang down your head, Tom Foley Posted: April 16, 2009 at 03:45 PM (#3140738)

Mike Maroth is the only other baseball player with an official web site linked from their agent's web site. Maroth's blog is all about his family visiting, with a little Jesus thrown in. His blog was last updated a week before Francoeur started his.

32. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: April 16, 2009 at 03:55 PM (#3140752)

C.J. Nitkowski runs a pretty nice blog.

33. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: April 16, 2009 at 03:58 PM (#3140762)

C.J. Nitkowski runs a pretty nice blog.

Damn. It really is.

34. Dewey, Steven Wright Wannabe and Soupuss Posted: April 16, 2009 at 04:01 PM (#3140771)

But now that he's whored himself to the corporate interests trying to destroy our language, I hope he gets hit by a bus.

It's all part of the plan to revive the U.S. economy. The AJC stimulates interest in Francoeur by writing endless stories about him. Francoeur stimulates the rest of the economy by writing about corporations in his blog.

Jeff Francoeur would be an American hero, if anyone read the AJC.

35. Shock Posted: April 16, 2009 at 06:46 PM (#3141069)

Yeah this is ####### hilarious:

Speaking of foul balls and home run balls, here's a little known fact about Turner Field. If you're in the right place at the right time and you're the lucky fan to catch a baseball at a game, you can go to the Guest Relations window by Aisle 146 with your ball and they will give you an official "Grandstand Fielder" certificate.

Seriously? I wonder if Jeff knows this thing exists.

36. Walt Davis Posted: April 16, 2009 at 07:56 PM (#3141216)

As I sit here on my Big Save futon typing on my (oh, crap) off-brand custom-built from parts laptop because MLBAM refuses to give me the Cubs-Cards feed while enjoying a PEPSI MAX (finally a good product placement!), I think about friends catching flights on Air New Zealand (who are having a great sale right now!) and staying at the Wellington Holiday Inn (they pay better than the Copthorne) and maybe catching a Hurricanes match at the WESTPAC Stadium (which seats 36,000 and is affectionately known as the Cake Tin and say hi to Marcy the usher in Section 31 for me) and texting me all about it using Telecom's $10 TXT plan.

What are you doing right now?

37. ASmitty Posted: April 16, 2009 at 08:24 PM (#3141287)

I don't see what everyone's so down about, this was without question the funniest thing I've read in 2009. Delta willing he sticks with it.

38. Kyle S at work Posted: April 16, 2009 at 08:33 PM (#3141312)

My favorite corporate shills are Russian hockey players. Of course there's the Ovechkin Eastern Motors ad, but you also can't beat Kovalchuk's radio spots for Airtran in which he sounds like Robot Jemaine in "The Humans are Dead." Gotta love that Russian monotone.

39. Crispix Attacks 2: Swag Airlines Posted: April 16, 2009 at 08:36 PM (#3141328)

"DIS IS JARKKO RUUTU. YO LISTENING TO 105.9 DE X. HOME OFF DA PITTSBOOK PENGUINS.

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