BBTF's Newsblog Discussion :: Joe Smith is Dating a Former Miss Teen USA, Gets Upset When You Don’t Know “He’s a Pitcher for the Cleveland Indians”

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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Joe Smith is Dating a Former Miss Teen USA, Gets Upset When You Don’t Know “He’s a Pitcher for the Cleveland Indians”

Who wouldn’t recognize a name like that?

Bar security did not accept that answer, and one of the people with Smith told police “Roundhouse security became rude and disrespectful.”

It was at this point in Smith’s explanation of events to police that the officer remarked in the report that “Mr. Smith became upset with me because I did already not know who he was.”

The report then said that the pitcher’s girlfriend leaned forward and stated, “He’s a pitcher for the Cleveland Indians!”

RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: May 22, 2012 at 03:20 PM | 35 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
Tags: don't you know who i am, indians, joe smith, police blotter, relievers

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1. Snowboy Posted: May 22, 2012 at 05:47 PM (#4138037)

To which the report then said that the officer replied: "Here, in Cleveland? I didn't know they still had a team."

2. Neutral Milk Dotel (Dan Lee) Posted: May 22, 2012 at 05:59 PM (#4138048)

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!? I'M A MIDDLE RELIEVER!!!"

3. Neutral Milk Dotel (Dan Lee) Posted: May 22, 2012 at 06:01 PM (#4138050)

In fairness, though, he is the second most famous Joe Smith to ply his trade in the Cleveland area.

edit: Wait, he's third.

4. Fernigal McGunnigle has become a merry hat Posted: May 22, 2012 at 06:04 PM (#4138055)

In fairness, though, he is the second most famous Joe Smith to ply his trade in the Cleveland area.

Actually, he is Cleveland Joe Smith number 3. (EDIT: We all know how fondly Cavs fans remember the 580 minutes the other Joe played in 2007/2008.)

5. Neutral Milk Dotel (Dan Lee) Posted: May 22, 2012 at 06:05 PM (#4138056)

Great minds think alike, Fernigal.

6. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: May 22, 2012 at 06:06 PM (#4138058)

Edit: Damn you Fernigal and Dan Lee.

7. Fernigal McGunnigle has become a merry hat Posted: May 22, 2012 at 06:06 PM (#4138059)

Great minds think alike, Fernigal.

Yeah, and so do we!

8. Guapo Posted: May 22, 2012 at 06:13 PM (#4138065)

The boy with the thorn in his side
Behind the hatred there lies
A murderous desire for love
How can they look into my eyes
And still they don't believe me?
How can they hear me say those words
Still they don't believe me?
And if they don't believe me now
Will they ever believe me?

9. The Yankee Clapper Posted: May 22, 2012 at 06:21 PM (#4138070)

The police report linked to in the article is worth a read, especially when Former Miss Teen USA's mother makes an appearance.

10. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: May 22, 2012 at 06:27 PM (#4138076)

The police report linked to in the article is worth a read, especially when Former Miss Teen USA's mother makes an appearance.

Holy crap I didn't even read that. The part where he leans into the bouncer and shouts "what!" threateningly is hilarious. Straight out of d-bag central casting.

11. Fernigal McGunnigle has become a merry hat Posted: May 22, 2012 at 06:27 PM (#4138078)

The police report linked to in the article is worth a read, especially when Former Miss Teen USA's mother makes an appearance.

It looks like she tried to bribe the cops after they had said that they wouldn't be filing any charges. That's unusual, to say the least.

12. Greg (U)K Posted: May 22, 2012 at 06:31 PM (#4138080)

Or

At the record company party
On their hands - a dead star
The sycophantic slags all say :
"I knew him first, and I knew him well"

I touched you at the soundcheck
You had no real way of knowing
In my heart I begged "Take me with you ...
I don't care where you're going..."

But to you I was faceless
I was fawning, I was boring
Just a righty from that ugly old bullpen
Who could never begin to know
Who could never really know.

13. Steve Balboni's Personal Trainer Posted: May 22, 2012 at 06:56 PM (#4138089)

Things might have turned out a lot better for Smith if he had claimed he was Tom Veryzer

Err...maybe not.

14. asinwreck Posted: May 22, 2012 at 07:01 PM (#4138094)

Has this tragic thread turned into birthday greetings to Morrissey?

15. Greg (U)K Posted: May 22, 2012 at 07:07 PM (#4138096)

Sadly it is now May 23rd where I am...

It's not your birthday anymore
there's no need to be kind to you
and the will to see you smile and belong has now gone
It's not your birthday anymore
did you really think we meant
all those sappy, sentimental
things that we said yesterday?

16. The District Attorney Posted: May 22, 2012 at 07:14 PM (#4138098)

Loved and lost
And some may say
"When usually it's nothing
Surely you're happy
It should be this way?"
I say "No, I'm gonna kill my dog"
And "May the lines sag, may the lines sag heavy and deep tonight"

17. Neutral Milk Dotel (Dan Lee) Posted: May 22, 2012 at 07:24 PM (#4138108)

How can you stay with a ballclub who'll say:
"Oh! Would you like to play for me?
"And if you like you can buy a ring"
It doesn't care about anything
Would you like to play for me?
And if you like you can buy a ring
I don't dream about anyone - except myself!
Oh, William, William it was really nothing
William, William

18. JE (Jason Epstein)

Posted: May 22, 2012 at 07:42 PM (#4138121)

Stuttering John: "What do you do that makes you famous?"

19. willcarrolldoesnotsuk Posted: May 22, 2012 at 08:31 PM (#4138200)

Fame, fame, fatal fame
It can play hideous tricks on the brain
But still I'd rather be famous
Than righteous or holy, any day
Any day, any day

20. Shock Posted: May 22, 2012 at 08:57 PM (#4138223)

The police report linked to in the article is worth a read, especially when Former Miss Teen USA's mother makes an appearance.

It was actually the bartender's mother. The confusion comes from the fact that the bartender and the douche's girlfriend are both named "LaForce." I assume no relation...

21. Dale H. Posted: May 22, 2012 at 09:02 PM (#4138228)

It was also Allie's mother. Mr. Laforce was her brother.

And it seems Joe is denying that the events of the police report "tip" are accurate.

22. Shock Posted: May 22, 2012 at 09:10 PM (#4138235)

I misread the report.

23. KT's Pot Arb Posted: May 23, 2012 at 12:20 AM (#4138355)

Boy the standards for Miss Teen USA are surprisingly low, those bolt-ons still aren't big enough to draw attention away fhat huge forehead.

24. Benji Posted: May 23, 2012 at 12:46 AM (#4138361)

This gives me a chance to brag that the first Miss Teen USA, Ruth Zakarian, is from my beloved home town: Amsterdam NY. And she is still gorgeous.

25. Crispix Attacks 2: Swag Airlines Posted: May 23, 2012 at 12:57 AM (#4138366)

Anyone would look like she has a huge forehead when she has her hair pulled back and she's standing next to Donald Trump and that beaver pelt that he wears instead of a hat.

26. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: May 23, 2012 at 01:05 AM (#4138369)

We hate it when our middle relievers become moderately successful.

27. Poster Nutbag Posted: May 23, 2012 at 01:20 AM (#4138374)

It was actually the bartender's mother. The confusion comes from the fact that the bartender and the douche's girlfriend are both named "LaForce." I assume no relation...

"You don't know who LaForce is?!?!"

28. KT's Pot Arb Posted: May 23, 2012 at 02:00 AM (#4138377)

Anyone would look like she has a huge forehead when she has her hair pulled back and she's standing next to Donald Trump and that beaver pelt that he wears instead of a hat.

But what about her pointy elbows?

29. The District Attorney Posted: May 23, 2012 at 02:06 AM (#4138379)

From the Joss Age to the Lowe Age, there is but one concern
I have just discovered
Some elbows are pointier than others

30. Greg (U)K Posted: May 23, 2012 at 02:59 AM (#4138384)

And as LaForce said to LaForce as he opened a crate of ale...

some girls' elbows are pointier than other girls' elbows

31. vortex of dissipation Posted: May 23, 2012 at 03:01 AM (#4138385)

Losing in front of your home crowd
You wish the ground
Would open up and take you down
And will time never pass?
Will time never pass for us?

Your weary wife is walking away
Your nephew is true
Well, he thinks the world of you
And I have to close my eyes
Oh...

Losing in front of your home town
The crowd call your name
They love you all the same
The sound, the smell, and the spray
You will take them all away
And they'll stay
Till the grave

Your weary wife is walking away
Your nephew, is true
Well, he thinks the world of you
And I have to close my eyes
Oh...

Losing in your home town
Hell is the bell
That will not ring again
You will return one day
Because of all the things that you see
When your eyes close

Your weary wife - walking away
Your nephew, it's true
He still thinks the world of you
And I have to dry my eyes
Oh...

32. OsunaSakata Posted: May 23, 2012 at 06:53 AM (#4138396)

LaForce is strong with this one.

33. Don't want the truth; just wanna see some dingers Posted: May 23, 2012 at 09:53 AM (#4138442)

There's a "don't you know who I am" tag now?

34. SoSH U at work Posted: May 23, 2012 at 10:06 AM (#4138446)

Panic on the streets of Cleveland
Panic in the pubs of Put-In-Bay
I wonder to myself
Could life ever be sane again?
The island bars that don't know me
I wonder to myself
Hopes may rise on the Erie
But Beauty Queen, you're not safe here
And your mother's
Not doing any favors
But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle
Dublin, Akron, Steubenville
I wonder to myself

Burn down the dive bar
Fight the blasted bouncer
Because the guy taking IDs
CLAIMS HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT MY LIFE
Fight the blasted bouncer
Because the guy working the front door

The island bars that don't know me
Provincial towns I long for
Fight the BOUNCER, Fight the BOUNCER, Fight the BOUNCER
Fight the BOUNCER, Fight the BOUNCER, Fight the BOUNCER
FIGHT THE BOUNCER, FIGHT THE BOUNCER, FIGHT THE BOUNCER
FIGHT THE BOUNCER, FIGHT THE BOUNCER
FIGHT THE BOUNCER, FIGHT THE BOUNCER
Fight the BOUNCER, Fight the BOUNCER, Fight the BOUNCER
FIGHT THE BOUNCER, FIGHT THE BOUNCER
FIGHT THE BOUNCER, FIGHT THE BOUNCER
Fight the BOUNCER, Fight the BOUNCER, Fight the BOUNCER
FIGHT THE BOUNCER, FIGHT THE BOUNCER
FIGHT THE BOUNCER, FIGHT THE BOUNCER
Fight the BOUNCER, Fight the BOUNCER, Fight the BOUNCER
FIGHT THE BOUNCER

35. zonk Posted: May 23, 2012 at 10:39 AM (#4138460)

Don't you know who I am?

NO, I'M NOT MATT BUSH, DAMMIT!

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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Joe Smith is Dating a Former Miss Teen USA, Gets Upset When You Don’t Know “He’s a Pitcher for the Cleveland Indians”

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