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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

JoeLavin.com - Jose Canseco Reviewed: With Spoilers

With a big hat-tip to Deadspin…

This random guy, Joe Lavin, who’s apparently some sort of Internet writer dumb-lucked his way into buying a copy of Canseco’s new book about two weeks early. There are three big names named - but all three have already been fingered by Canseco in one way or another: Roger Clemens, Magglio Ordonez and Alex Rodriguez.

While Canseco was the very, very unsavory and let’s be honest, just icky, canary in the coalmine the first time around, and happened to be correct, I just don’t know if truth lightning hits twice, but unfortunately we can’t just say, “Please Jose, go away. Off to Pros vs. Joes with you!”

As Lavin notes, his “evidence” is specious at time… and its revealed after the jump.

On Ordonez: The Ordonez story is, by now, routine—just that old yarn of one player injecting another with steroids, possibly in the buttocks. Canseco does point out that the recent New York Times report—that Canseco had offered to keep Ordonez “in the clear” if Ordonez invested five million dollars in a documentary that Canseco was producing—is not true. Canseco says there was no blackmail, and that there is no documentary at all, which is Sundance’s loss, I guess.

On Clemens: After a home run, Clemens would just make jokes like, “Man, you must have had your juice this morning!” Other times, he would say that he was off to take his “B-twelve shots,” which, Canseco says, is how players often refer to steroids. He does later state that Clemens did not attend the much-discussed barbecue at Canseco’s house which was mentioned in the Mitchell Report.

Lavin goes on to say he wanted to name Clemens in Juiced, but feels the conspiratorial black helicopters came and stopped him.

And on A-Rod: As for Alex Rodriguez, Canseco says he didn’t inject Rodriguez, but that he “introduced Alex to a known supplier of steroids.” Canseco didn’t mention Rodriguez in the first book because he “hated the bastard.” He was worried that people would have “questioned [his] motives” had he included Rodriguez.

Why all the hatred, you ask. Well, Canseco claims that A-Rod was trying to sleep with Canseco’s wife. Apparently, even after Canseco had been nice enough to help A-Rod find a friendly steroids supplier, A-Rod kept calling Canseco’s wife.

And, in case there’s any further confusion about Canseco’s true feelings, he ends the chapter by saying:

So A-Rod, if you’re reading this book, and if I’m not getting through to you, let’s get clear on one thing: I hate your f***ing guts.

Sean McNally Posted: March 25, 2008 at 01:59 PM | 15 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: books, steroids, tigers, yankees

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   1. Sean McNally Posted: March 25, 2008 at 02:10 PM (#2719695)
Best part I left out of opener: Canseco believes he tempted Mike Wallace into using.
   2. The Essex Snead Posted: March 25, 2008 at 02:21 PM (#2719705)
Giving this clown the time of day on anything (let alone a book deal) does only one person any good, and that person doesn't deserve the respect given to a dirty diaper.
   3. Crispix Attacksel Rios Posted: March 25, 2008 at 02:35 PM (#2719720)
Magglio Ordonez? That must have been in 2001, his last part-season in the majors. After so many years, when he was barely hanging on to a career, Canseco was still spreading the gospel of steroids to all those who needed his wonder-working power. I respect his passion for his work.

Also, I believe the book describes how Bud Selig demanded a cut from Canseco's extortion ring, and only blackballed him after those negotiations fell apart. Ironically, George Mitchell was mediating those talks.
   4. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: March 25, 2008 at 02:52 PM (#2719724)
Why is A-Rod so hated?
   5. SoSH U at work Posted: March 25, 2008 at 03:00 PM (#2719727)
Why is A-Rod so hated?


In Canseco's case, it seems because Arod tried to pull a Durocher on Mrs. Best-Selling Author. On the flip side, he just grew in statute in McCoy's eyes.
   6. Dan The Mediocre is one of "the rest" Posted: March 25, 2008 at 03:02 PM (#2719728)
Why is A-Rod so hated?


Canseco said that A-Rod told him privately that he knew for a fact Canseco was being blackballed. A-Rod denied it when asked.

I guess with the ghost writer leaking that Canseco had nothing on A-Rod, the "I introduced him to a supplier" is the furthest he'll go.
   7. The_Ex Posted: March 25, 2008 at 03:31 PM (#2719767)
Prediction: The A-Rod story line will be the most discussed part of the book in the media reviews and it will be intriguing enough to potential readers to boost sales of the book.
   8. Crispix Attacksel Rios Posted: March 25, 2008 at 03:41 PM (#2719779)
Wait, isn't this a parody article?

I mean...everything else on this guy's website is a parody article.

And the quoted excerpts are dumb even compared to Canseco's other book.

It's not a very funny parody article, though.
   9. Sean McNally Posted: March 25, 2008 at 07:17 PM (#2719994)
It doesn't appear to be parody (which may explain why its not funny).

The WWL and AP have picked up on it: http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/.....id=3311423
   10. Justin T seeks a heterospecific consortship Posted: March 25, 2008 at 07:24 PM (#2720005)
WWL had added it to the Bottom Line on TV as well. Says JoeLavin.com reports Canseco says that he introduced A-Rod to a steroids supplier. This will enter the realm of truth to the general public quickly.

On the plus side, at least they attributed the report to a specific website, rather than simply citing "the internet."
   11. Crispix Attacksel Rios Posted: March 25, 2008 at 07:43 PM (#2720040)
But...everything else on this guy's website is a parody!
   12. marko Posted: March 25, 2008 at 08:48 PM (#2720134)
"After a home run, Clemens would just make jokes like, “Man, you must have had your juice this morning!” Other times, he would say that he was off to take his “B-twelve shots,” which, Canseco says, is how players often refer to steroids. He does later state that Clemens did not attend the much-discussed barbecue at Canseco’s house which was mentioned in the Mitchell Report."


im wondering if these supposed statements made by clemens were as far back as 1995...
   13. Justin T seeks a heterospecific consortship Posted: March 25, 2008 at 08:49 PM (#2720138)
I'm coming around on the parody theory, which would make this totally beyond awesome.
   14. ValueArb Posted: March 25, 2008 at 09:15 PM (#2720161)
Canseco claims that A-Rod was trying to sleep with Canseco’s wife.
Who wasn't?

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