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Friday, February 24, 2017

Kate Upton: No sex with Justin Verlander before games

“There’s no sex before a game. Absolutely none,” said Upton. “And then, also what I just found out is, if he plays too well, there’s no sex after, either. He’s exhausted. Kind of a buzzkill for me.”

Upton also revealed Verlander’s reaction to her controversial tweets about him not receiving the AL Cy Young Award .

Looks like an early retirement instead of 300 wins.

Jacob Posted: February 24, 2017 at 12:21 PM | 40 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: justin verlander, kate upton

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   1. Batman Posted: February 24, 2017 at 01:22 PM (#5408165)
Then who does she have sex with before Verlander's games?
   2. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: February 24, 2017 at 01:25 PM (#5408169)
That used to be fairly common practice in NPB, from what I've heard. Not sure whether or not it still is.
   3. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: February 24, 2017 at 01:27 PM (#5408171)
That used to be fairly common practice in NPB, from what I've heard. Not sure whether or not it still is.

I would wager that very few, if any people in NPB are having sex with Kate Upton before games.
   4. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: February 24, 2017 at 01:28 PM (#5408174)
To be fair, I also don't have sex with Justin Verlander before games.
   5. Jose is an Absurd Doubles Machine Posted: February 24, 2017 at 01:47 PM (#5408187)
Then who does she have sex with before Verlander's games?


If no one else is going to step up I'll take one for the team here.
   6. PreservedFish Posted: February 24, 2017 at 01:55 PM (#5408193)
Is a "quickie" no longer a thing?
   7. The Yankee Clapper Posted: February 24, 2017 at 02:13 PM (#5408216)
Detroit has a 5-man rotation, right? Good thing Verlander isn't the closer.
   8. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: February 24, 2017 at 02:13 PM (#5408218)
Upton: "Kind of a buzzkill for me."


Come on, Justin. Maybe not full sex, but can't you at least toe the mound?
   9. JRVJ Posted: February 24, 2017 at 02:17 PM (#5408223)
Jonah Kari had an interview with Verlander on his podcast some months ago. At some point, Ms. Upton was passing by and was asked a question.

She gave a fairly clicheish answer, to which Mr. Verlander answered in a teasingly DISGUSTED voice: "OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE, Katie!".

It's nice that they seem to have some humor in their relationship.
   10. BDC Posted: February 24, 2017 at 02:21 PM (#5408231)
During? what about during.
   11. PreservedFish Posted: February 24, 2017 at 02:21 PM (#5408232)
Maybe not full sex, but can't you at least toe the mound?


The balk rules are pretty picky about what needs to happen after you engage the rubber.
   12. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: February 24, 2017 at 02:24 PM (#5408239)
During? what about during.

The solution to baseball's TV ratings problem, for sure.
   13. Zonk, Genius of the Stables Posted: February 24, 2017 at 02:53 PM (#5408266)
On days when Jose is unavailable, I'm available... though, if I ain't startin', I'm departin'.... not relief/sloppy seconds for me!
   14. Zonk, Genius of the Stables Posted: February 24, 2017 at 02:55 PM (#5408269)
Is a "quickie" no longer a thing?


My GF wishes... I've tried to think of Bartolo Colon showering, but that has the opposite and even more deleterious effect.
   15. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: February 24, 2017 at 03:00 PM (#5408279)
I've tried to think of Bartolo Colon showering, but that has the opposite and even more deleterious effect.


Why merely imagine it, when you can see it?
   16. QLE Posted: February 24, 2017 at 03:03 PM (#5408281)
The solution to baseball's TV ratings problem, for sure.


Until you remember that Joe Buck is contractually obligated to announce it....
   17. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: February 24, 2017 at 03:06 PM (#5408288)
Is a "quickie" no longer a thing?


Commissioner Rob Manfred needs to consider changes to improve the pace of play?
   18. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: February 24, 2017 at 03:07 PM (#5408289)
The solution to baseball's TV ratings problem, for sure.

Until you remember that Joe Buck is contractually obligated to announce it....



At the moment of climax, my woman loves when I do a promo for an all-new episode of "House," Mondays at 9, 8 central.
   19. Zonk, Genius of the Stables Posted: February 24, 2017 at 03:09 PM (#5408291)
Is a "quickie" no longer a thing?

Commissioner Rob Manfred needs to consider changes to improve the pace of play?


Does it cross the line to allude to trips to the mound here?
   20. Zonk, Genius of the Stables Posted: February 24, 2017 at 03:11 PM (#5408296)
Until you remember that Joe Buck is contractually obligated to announce it....

At the moment of climax, my woman loves when I do a promo for an all-new episode of "House," Mondays at 9.


Yeah baby, whose daddy is the district attorney... WHOSE... FATHER... IS.... THE... DISTRICT... ATTORNEY!
   21. Baseballs Most Beloved Figure Posted: February 24, 2017 at 03:23 PM (#5408308)
This may make him want to retire earlier.
   22. 6 - 4 - 3 Posted: February 24, 2017 at 03:28 PM (#5408316)
He's always at his best when he can consistently pound the inside corner.
   23. Hysterical & Useless Posted: February 24, 2017 at 04:18 PM (#5408373)
So Verlander starts what, 30 games a year? I suppose I'd be willing to not have sex with Kate Upton 30 days a year.

Beats the 365 days a year I'm currently not having sex with her.
   24. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: February 24, 2017 at 04:22 PM (#5408379)

Does it cross the line to allude to trips to the mound here?


I think you'd want guys to stay in the box.
   25. Pat Rapper's Delight (as quoted on MLB Network) Posted: February 24, 2017 at 04:26 PM (#5408382)
I think you'd want guys to stay in the box.

I'm going to need more clarification if I'm ever expected to be in the hole.
   26. Lassus Posted: February 24, 2017 at 04:29 PM (#5408385)
I... don't really understand #22.
   27. Man o' Schwar Posted: February 24, 2017 at 04:35 PM (#5408392)
Verlander has never been a pitcher who's afraid to come inside when necessary.
   28. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: February 24, 2017 at 04:35 PM (#5408393)
I... don't really understand #22.


He's saying Kate Upton has a rectangular, or possibly a hexagon vagina. Get a clue, will you?
   29. 6 - 4 - 3 Posted: February 24, 2017 at 04:40 PM (#5408397)
Verlander has never been a pitcher who's afraid to come inside when necessary.


At least one of The Fappening photos disproves that statement.
   30. Stevis Posted: February 24, 2017 at 04:54 PM (#5408417)
OK #20 is in contention for the funniest thing I have ever read on this site. Although I don't go into OTP threads.
   31. Textbook Editor Posted: February 24, 2017 at 05:07 PM (#5408434)
Should Verlander go on a losing streak I will be disappointed if we don't see the following sign in the crowd at some point:

KATE JUST TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM!
   32. Walt Davis Posted: February 24, 2017 at 05:29 PM (#5408466)
Watch out for the back door slider!
   33. Rowland Office Supplies Posted: February 24, 2017 at 06:25 PM (#5408502)
He just does some light tossing before games.
   34. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: February 24, 2017 at 06:30 PM (#5408507)
Watch out for the back door slider!


It's even worse when Verlander raises his WHIP.
   35. The Duke Posted: February 24, 2017 at 06:48 PM (#5408519)
Another reason why he won't get to 300 win plateau.
   36. eddieot Posted: February 24, 2017 at 06:51 PM (#5408520)
Talk about your first world problems...
   37. Zonk, Genius of the Stables Posted: February 24, 2017 at 07:06 PM (#5408525)
I suppose that as long as he uses the extra time to work on his repertoire, someone will be happy.
   38. Khrushin it bro Posted: February 24, 2017 at 08:08 PM (#5408545)
I wonder if he will request bigger rosin bags this year.
   39. Cargo Cultist Posted: February 25, 2017 at 12:07 AM (#5408622)
I cannot even imagine a man being too tired to have sex with Kate Upton. I'd have to be dead and buried not to want to have sex with Kate Upton.
   40. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: February 25, 2017 at 12:39 AM (#5408629)
Well, maybe after she's dead and buried, your dream can come true!

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