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Monday, March 18, 2013

Keidel: Shallow Hal Steinbrenner Should Have Signed Josh Hamilton

Could have been the city of Josh (BOOM!)

The Yankees should have signed Josh Hamilton. You know the old man would have, even if the Boss did it to bogart the back page more than anything. Signing Hamilton to a long-term deal is a bad business decision because of his age and injury history. But not because of his peripheral appetites. The idea that Hamilton and New York City were a toxic bond because he’s a recovering drug addict is laughable.

They don’t sell drugs in Dallas? While he was supposedly struggling with his dark side, he led the American League in RBI (130) in 2008. And then he hit a measly .359 in 2010, wining the batting title and AL MVP. Last year, on the north side of the toxic chronological watermark of 30, he hit 43 home runs, with 128 RBI and 103 runs scored. Hard to do while hitting the pipe.

And surely they don’t sell drugs in Los Angeles, his new home. For all my profound love of New York City, where I was born and will die, we are guilty of grotesque elitism. Hamilton can’t handle the five boroughs because of the night life. They don’t have dealers in Dallas, no nightclubs or narcotics in Los Angeles. Only in New York City will he be drawn to some dark corner under a broken streetlamp, where the demons congregate.

...Narcotics are a $300 billion industry because they’re sold everywhere, not just Newark, the Bronx, and Baltimore, If you don’t want Hamilton because of age, wage, injury, or attitude, fine. But the drug addict angle is so obtuse that maybe you need to sit down and watch an episode of “Drugs, Inc.” – where they throw darts at a map and chronicle the rampant, irrepressible drug trade, where cops run up the eternal treadmill of the “War on Drugs.”

If they had Hamilton, the Yankees wouldn’t have to fumble for a power source today – an emergency, overpriced generator to keep the team afloat, like Kevin Youkilis ($12 million). Imagine Cano and Hamilton batting 3rd and 4th until the troops arrive? We don’t have to, because it’s just a dream. We didn’t have to dream with George Steinbrenner. He made them come true before we could.

Repoz Posted: March 18, 2013 at 04:08 PM | 27 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: yankees

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   1. Esoteric throws a 'hard slider' Posted: March 18, 2013 at 05:04 PM (#4390697)
Did this guy (or his editor) REALLY just make a Shallow Hal reference? An obscure, crappy Jack Black comedy from a decade ago?
   2. YR Misses Reggie Bars Posted: March 18, 2013 at 05:15 PM (#4390701)
Hey, it wasn't that obscure!
   3. Cowboy Popup Posted: March 18, 2013 at 05:18 PM (#4390702)
I was screwing around on the ZIPs Fangraphs page the other day getting ready for my fantasy draft and Hamilton's projections were really surprising. The system projects him at a .341 wOBA, which seems really low to me, but what do I know. I assume that's not adjusted for park, and I would be surprised if he hit that poorly, but it's an indicator that Hamilton isn't nearly as sure a bet to hit well as this guy thinks.

This guy is also apparently entirely unaware of the Yankees' payroll budget for the immediate future, which is weird because he is a New York based sports writer and he really should be aware of that.
   4. KT's Pot Arb Posted: March 18, 2013 at 05:18 PM (#4390703)
It wasn't that crapp... oh heck, never mind.

But I support Yankees committing to Josh Hamilton and letting Cano walk, smart thinking there.
   5. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: March 18, 2013 at 05:31 PM (#4390709)

Did this guy (or his editor) REALLY just make a Shallow Hal reference? An obscure, crappy Jack Black comedy from a decade ago?


Should the Yankees bring back Bernie? Or maybe the School of Rock (Raines)?
   6. FancyPantsHandle glistening with foreign substance Posted: March 18, 2013 at 05:37 PM (#4390711)
Susan Ward was pure hotness in that movie.
   7. Cowboy Popup Posted: March 18, 2013 at 05:38 PM (#4390713)
Maybe they should trade for Kung Fu Panda and slide Youkilis over to first. Or resurrect King Kong Keller.

I'm surprised that he didn't write about how they will miss Mark Teixeira's Tenacious D.
   8. Hang down your head, Tom Foley Posted: March 18, 2013 at 05:50 PM (#4390717)
In New York, Hamilton would have had some Northern Exposure.

Nobody remembers that episode. I'm not sure many people remember that show.
   9. andrewberg Posted: March 18, 2013 at 06:12 PM (#4390729)
Too bad they traded Austin "Heat Vision and Jack"son. He could have helped fill in CF.
   10. Chris Fluit Posted: March 18, 2013 at 06:23 PM (#4390732)
Godzilla (aka Hideki Matsui) is probably available.

   11. Cowboy Popup Posted: March 18, 2013 at 06:29 PM (#4390734)
Too bad they traded Austin "Heat Vision and Jack"son. He could have helped fill in CF.

Well played. I couldn't figure out how to make that one work.

I'm sure Hamilton would make the clubhouse feel more like a Community.
   12. Dale Sams Posted: March 18, 2013 at 06:40 PM (#4390741)
Ichiro could do a #### push-up if he wanted.
   13. andrewberg Posted: March 18, 2013 at 06:56 PM (#4390747)
How many could he do?
   14. zonk Posted: March 18, 2013 at 09:20 PM (#4390821)
I really haven't decided if I think Jack Black is entertaining or not... The weird thing is I think I really like him in movies everyone else hates. Year One and Saving Silverman - which I readily acknowledge are pure drek - I love for some reason... but I have little use for School of Rock.
   15. haven Posted: March 18, 2013 at 09:28 PM (#4390833)
yanks should have signed every free agent this off season. and should now trade for every player on the final year of their contract making more the $10M. go back in time and make it so, shallow hal..... make it so.....
   16. How to lose a guy in jemile weeks Posted: March 18, 2013 at 11:21 PM (#4390922)
Dear BBTF:

Thank you for this thread. This may be the first time in my life that I cannot make a Jack Black reference because of over saturation.

Sincerely,
Jemile
   17. Pat Rapper's Delight Posted: March 18, 2013 at 11:28 PM (#4390929)
Thank you for this thread. This may be the first time in my life that I cannot make a Jack Black reference because of over saturation.

Nacho lucky day, I guess....
   18. Swoboda is freedom Posted: March 18, 2013 at 11:28 PM (#4390930)
Thank you for this thread. This may be the first time in my life that I cannot make a Jack Black reference because of over saturation.

That is because of the High Fidelity of the comedy being spun here. Too bad they didn't sign Hamilton, it would have made for The Big Year.
   19. Bitter Calculus Instructor Posted: March 19, 2013 at 12:14 AM (#4390953)
To make up for this, the Yankees need to make a trade for Kung Fu Panda.
   20. asinwreck Posted: March 19, 2013 at 12:15 AM (#4390954)
Keidel wants the Yankees to Be Kind, Rewind to the Boss era.
   21. Bitter Calculus Instructor Posted: March 19, 2013 at 12:19 AM (#4390959)
Remember though, they're looking forward to 2015, that is Year 1 of a reset luxury tax.
   22. Walt Davis Posted: March 19, 2013 at 01:50 AM (#4390988)
The system projects him at a .341 wOBA, which seems really low to me, but what do I know. I assume that's not adjusted for park

It's definitely adjusted for park. ZiPS is the most pessimistic projection, the other "systems" at fangraphs have him around 360. (It's possible that fangraphs is taking the face value projections but then putting them into a single context -- i.e. if ZiPS is projecting to a lower offensive level but that wasn't adjusted for in the wOBA calculations across the systems, it will look lower. That said, ZiPS is close to my wild ass guesstimate so I'm going with it.)
   23. Rants Mulliniks (formerly Cold Prosimian) Posted: March 19, 2013 at 08:04 AM (#4391005)
I really haven't decided if I think Jack Black is entertaining or not...


Nacho Libre is one of the top 5 funniest movies ever made, and would probably still be in the top 100 if you watched it on mute.
   24. BDC Posted: March 19, 2013 at 09:12 AM (#4391043)
Margot at the Wedding, Yankees to be bridesmaids.
   25. Obi One Kenobi Nil Posted: March 19, 2013 at 09:45 AM (#4391061)
Considering how Brutal the Yankees offense is Hamilton could have become a Legend.
   26. Tom Nawrocki Posted: March 19, 2013 at 09:55 AM (#4391074)
It's definitely adjusted for park.


Baed on what I've seen, Hamilton hits really, really well at New Yankee Stadium.
   27. Don't want the truth; just wanna see some dingers Posted: March 19, 2013 at 09:58 AM (#4391079)
We didn’t have to dream with George Steinbrenner. He made them come true before we could.


Under Big Stein, Hamilton would have been a Pick of Destiny. Too bad Georgie now resides at The Holiday in the sky.

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