This article makes me think Vlad might be slightly retarded.

the all star game where he swung at the pitch shoulder high and clocked it over the right field fence was vintage vlad

july 24 1998 the brewers got a full plate of vlad.

2 homers and 6 rbi in a doubleheader split. i remember that because the expo lineup was just so ugly except for vlad.

1. Vlad has long reminded me of Pedro Guerrero. Take that how you will.
Wait, don't. I don't mean to cast aspersions on his intelligence (though it's hard not to take the Pedro line otherwise). I don't "know" him at all, apart from his big dumb swing and his big dumb arm. Those don't mean that he's a big dumb guy.
2. He hit the longest homer I've ever seen in person (502 ft, 7/28/03, ATL@MTL).
3. I remember seeing him in the Sally league, making a point of going to games when he or Andruw Jones would play. It was self evident that they'd make the bigs, do so quickly, and have success.