Kiszla: Weight of world tough to bear for Rockies’ Street

“and my head looking at the ground
tears, stupid tears, bring me down”

All lost, the one thing Rockies relief pitcher Huston Street refused to do was cry. His voice cracked. Anguish moistened the corners of his eyes. But tears? No way. A ballgame blown, Street fought to keep what little this beaten man had: his dignity.

“The lazy step for me would be to walk out of here with my tail between my legs and tears coming down my face, then go home and lay in bed for two weeks,” Street said Monday night, after surrendering three runs in a nightmarish ninth inning that gave Philadelphia a shocking 5-4 victory and eliminated Colorado from the playoffs.

... As the Rockies’ season was dying in the bottom of the ninth and hope deflated from the Coors Field crowd of 49,940, Street did something that might surprise you. He confronted his failure. He did it by watching his own personal horror movie of how it all unraveled during the Phillies’ last at-bat.

Street had walked from the dugout, down a lonely hall and up a flight of steps, then after pausing for several minutes at a chair in front of his locker, proceeded to the video room and watched pitch-by-pitch how he was beaten by a two-out walk to Chase Utley, a double hammered by Ryan Howard and Jayson Werth’s single.

Street gazed at the videotape of a 4-2 Colorado lead slipping through right hand. “That’s how I deal with it. I want to see it,” he said. “I don’t want to wonder: Where was the pitch? I want to know exactly what happened… I guess it helps me move past it. But, god, it doesn’t feel good.”

He was one strike away from forcing a fifth and deciding game. “I think it’s foolish to forget. I think it’s also foolish to keep it with you,” Street said. “This game is played by men. Take responsibility. When you get beat, you get beat.”