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Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Manny Ramirez’s Japan Baseball Contract Includes Infinite Sushi, Optional Practice

Manny Ramirez apparently has earned the right to live the high life in Japanese baseball. The former Boston Red Sox slugger and 2017 Baseball Hall of Fame nominee last Thursday signed a contract with the Kochi Island Fighting Dogs of Japan’s independent league. His deal includes some eye-popping details, which The Boston Globe’s Alex Speier reported Monday, citing Yakyudb.com, that should warm the hearts of his fans. They include:

A Mercedes car and a driver

Optional practices

his own hotel suite during road trips

unlimited sushi all season long

RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: March 14, 2017 at 01:45 AM | 24 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: japan, manny ramirez

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   1. Los Angeles El Hombre de Anaheim Posted: March 14, 2017 at 02:08 AM (#5416970)
Nothing could go wrong there.
   2. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: March 14, 2017 at 02:44 AM (#5416971)
How many people are going to add " 's Contract Includes Infinite Sushi" to their BTF screen names?
   3. the Hugh Jorgan returns Posted: March 14, 2017 at 03:29 AM (#5416973)
Manny always was and continues to be his own brand of awesome.

I know there have been better hitters in the history of baseball but when this cat was locked in for like a month it was something to really behold. It was like watching Picasso paint, just a true master with the stick.
   4. villageidiom Posted: March 14, 2017 at 07:59 AM (#5416989)
I can only imagine watching Picasso paint to be incredibly boring. Otherwise I agree.
   5. BDC Posted: March 14, 2017 at 08:14 AM (#5416996)
Picasso loved to show off, and there are quite a few videos of him painting or drawing. Some are pretty cool, though value judgments vis-à-vis Manny will differ :)
   6. RMc's Yelling Mob of Hackmen Posted: March 14, 2017 at 08:27 AM (#5417001)
It's impossible to have infinite sushi, since the amount of sushi (or anything) is obviously finite.
   7. Batman Posted: March 14, 2017 at 09:13 AM (#5417015)
In a world where sometimes you have to pee during a pitching change, only one man has the human chorionic gonadotropin to stand up to tyrannical elderly traveling secretaries. Manny Ramirez in Infinite Sushi, Optional Practice, directed by Ang Lee.
   8. Rennie's Tenet Posted: March 14, 2017 at 09:34 AM (#5417024)
This seems to be confused in translation: the team is Infinite Sushi, and he gets all the fighting dogs he can eat.
   9. Traderdave Posted: March 14, 2017 at 10:03 AM (#5417038)
5

I'm fairly sure that Manny was called ass hole a few times, though.
   10. Chicago Joe Posted: March 14, 2017 at 10:07 AM (#5417042)
9:

Not like you.
   11. Cargo Cultist Posted: March 14, 2017 at 10:28 AM (#5417050)
Manny being Manny. Classic.
   12. Batman Posted: March 14, 2017 at 10:36 AM (#5417055)
His jersey will just say "Manny."
He went with Manny because most people in Japan will probably think of Alex Ramirez if they see Ramirez.


   13. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (((JE))) Posted: March 14, 2017 at 10:51 AM (#5417066)
Nothing could go wrong there.

To be sure, this is what could go wrong there.
   14. Rickey! No. You move. Posted: March 14, 2017 at 10:56 AM (#5417071)
I'd vote for him for President. Sure.
   15. Never Give an Inge (Dave) Posted: March 14, 2017 at 10:58 AM (#5417074)
It's impossible to have infinite sushi, since the amount of sushi (or anything) is obviously finite.

Boras: Mrs. Ramirez, in your own words, please tell us what happened after you and your husband were ejected from the Fighting Dogs clubhouse.
Ramirez: We pretty much went straight home.
Boras: Remember, Mrs. Ramirez, you're still under oath.
Ramirez: We drove around until three in the morning looking for an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant.
Boras: And when you couldn't find any?
Ramirez: (crying) We went fishing!
Boras: Ladies and gentlemen, do these sound like the actions of a man who's had infinite sushi?

EDIT: Ah, Jason beat me to it!
   16. Slivers of Maranville descends into chaos (SdeB) Posted: March 14, 2017 at 11:02 AM (#5417083)
Infinite Sushi is one of my favorite anime series.
   17. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: March 14, 2017 at 11:12 AM (#5417093)
And it's one of my favorite porn series.
   18. Fernigal McGunnigle Posted: March 14, 2017 at 11:30 AM (#5417116)
10:

I hear that the girls all turn the color of an avocado when Manny drives down their street in his El Dorado.
   19. Ziggy: The Platonic Form of Russell Branyan Posted: March 14, 2017 at 12:45 PM (#5417160)
Does Manny actually have to eat the sushi himself? 'Cause I'm seeing a very nice arbitrage opportunity here.
   20. Tom Nawrocki Posted: March 14, 2017 at 01:14 PM (#5417187)
I think you guys are burying the lede, which is that Manny is not just extending his career by playing in Japan, but extending his career by playing in an independent league in Japan. Not even Rickey went that far.

Manny must love playing baseball even more than he loves sushi, which is to say infinitely.
   21. Rennie's Tenet Posted: March 14, 2017 at 02:21 PM (#5417233)
It looks like this league he's in takes a month off in July, and last year they sent an all star team to play a series against every team in the Can-Am League. It looks like this year, though, the Can-Am is hosting the Cuban national team and an independent team from South Korea.
   22. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: March 15, 2017 at 11:42 AM (#5417671)
I'm shocked that karlmagnus hasn't stopped by to point out that the Red Sox could use Manny as a DH. But does Boston have enough good sushi places to tempt Manny?
   23. Slivers of Maranville descends into chaos (SdeB) Posted: March 15, 2017 at 12:13 PM (#5417694)
Ichiro could eat infinite sushi, if he wanted to.
   24. Man o' Schwar Posted: March 15, 2017 at 12:16 PM (#5417698)
But does Boston have enough good sushi places to tempt Manny?

Infinite baked beans and brown bread doesn't have quite the same ring to it (alliteration notwithstanding).

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