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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Milano Swears Off Baseball Players

Alyssa Milano has sworn off dating baseball players, because they are too childish.

The actress admits she is a huge fan of the sport, and even dreams of being a star slugger.

But, after dating San Francisco Giants pitcher Barry Zito, Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Brad Penny and Atlanta Braves star Tom Glavine, she’s determined to court more mature men, like her current mystery beau, known only as “David.”

Milano says, “They are grown men playing a little boy’s sport. That makes them childish.”

Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: July 16, 2008 at 03:59 PM | 81 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: fantasy baseball, reviews, rumors

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   1. base ball chick Posted: July 16, 2008 at 05:36 PM (#2861441)
i'm glad i'm not the only grrrrl who dreamed of being a star baseball player. and she's little just like me

but i know that no matter how many you date/screw, it won't help you hit the curveball. and the rules still won't let you play in the majors or minors
   2. Famous Original Joe C Posted: July 16, 2008 at 05:36 PM (#2861442)
Pass.
   3. rLr Is King Of The Romans And Above Grammar Posted: July 16, 2008 at 05:39 PM (#2861444)
"David" is David Eisenhower.
   4. McCoy Posted: July 16, 2008 at 05:40 PM (#2861446)
What the hell is acting then?

Well I guess technically Milano can skate around that since she can't act.
   5. RobertMachemer Posted: July 16, 2008 at 05:40 PM (#2861447)
she’s determined to court more mature men, like her current mystery beau, known only as “David.”

You know she thinks baseball players are childish when the former/current lead singer of Van Halen is considered "more mature"...
   6. Big Train Posted: July 16, 2008 at 05:40 PM (#2861449)
Didn't she date Pavano too?
   7. AJM Posted: July 16, 2008 at 05:41 PM (#2861451)
Here's my chance!
   8. Voros McCracken, Human Shield Posted: July 16, 2008 at 05:42 PM (#2861455)
Baseball = Childish
Aaron Spelling TV Shows = Mature

PEDs = Childish
Breast Implants = Mature
   9. rLr Is King Of The Romans And Above Grammar Posted: July 16, 2008 at 05:42 PM (#2861456)
Here's my chance!

She's a little old for you.
   10. Brandon in MO (Yunitility Infielder) Posted: July 16, 2008 at 05:44 PM (#2861461)
Sure i'd listen if Alyssa Milano called.
   11. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: July 16, 2008 at 05:47 PM (#2861464)
"Breast Implants = Mature"

If she's involved in a front-end collision, those airbags might save her life.
   12. AJM Posted: July 16, 2008 at 05:48 PM (#2861465)
She's a little old for you.

I don't mind.
   13. SoSH U at work Posted: July 16, 2008 at 05:48 PM (#2861468)
I had no idea Glavine was on her list of mound conquests. I really need to increase my E! viewing, I guess.
   14. pv nasby Posted: July 16, 2008 at 05:56 PM (#2861478)
At least she's sticking with a baseball fan, even if it is the Orioles.
   15. DL from MN Posted: July 16, 2008 at 05:58 PM (#2861487)
She hit the pet peeve button - BASEBALL IS NOT A CHILD'S GAME! It is a 'gentleman's game' that happens to be played by children. Kids play golf, does that make it a 'child's game'? Grown men pretty much invented baseball and have been participating in the sport for 150 years.
   16. base ball chick Posted: July 16, 2008 at 05:58 PM (#2861488)
pv nasby

he's too smart for her

so to speak
   17. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader Posted: July 16, 2008 at 06:03 PM (#2861497)
Well damn. Guess I'll put my bat away.
   18. MSI Posted: July 16, 2008 at 06:09 PM (#2861500)
David Eckstein.
   19. Toolsy McClutch Posted: July 16, 2008 at 06:10 PM (#2861501)
Wow, that's weird, I also think about baseball when I'm trying to fall asleep. Usually though, I'm being interviewed about the state of my team (I guess I'm too old to dream about playing, so now I dream about coaching or GM'ing).

That said, I am a dork.
   20. Hack Wilson Posted: July 16, 2008 at 06:15 PM (#2861506)
I heard Tom Glavine swore off Milanos.
   21. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: July 16, 2008 at 06:17 PM (#2861509)
So you're saying I have a chance now?
   22. Slinger Francisco Barrios (Dr. Memory) Posted: July 16, 2008 at 06:31 PM (#2861528)
So you're saying I have a chance now?

I don't think anybody's saying that.

Didn't she date Pavano too?
   23. robinred Posted: July 16, 2008 at 06:33 PM (#2861530)
known only as “David.”


She must be a Libertarian who lurks here.
   24. The Kids Are Enright (1k5v3L) Posted: July 16, 2008 at 06:45 PM (#2861550)
Isn't Tom Glavine married? And hasn't he been married for quite sometime?
Pavano is conspicuously missing from the list. Then again, no one wants to be associated with him.
And yes, I'd listen if Milano called. The number is 1-900-SLUGGER
   25. SoSH U at work Posted: July 16, 2008 at 06:48 PM (#2861555)
Isn't Tom Glavine married? And hasn't he been married for quite sometime?


That's what I thought Levski. Wasn't the entire family at his 300th win, which wasn't all that long ago?
   26. pthomas Posted: July 16, 2008 at 06:48 PM (#2861556)
Ms. Milano might have read Tom House's book "The Jocks Itch" before setting out to boff ballplayers. From an article by Robert Lipsyte in the NY Times:

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D0CE7D6153BF932A05756C0A967958260

"Athletes aren't bad people, they just don't have life skills," said Dr. Tom House, a part-time psychologist from California. "You can't point your finger at a 24-year-old making $3.6 million for acting like a 12-year-old. What do you expect? Twelve is where his development stopped.'

House pitched for Atlanta, Boston and Seattle. His major league career (admittedly strewn with groupies and chemicals) and his rocky transition to "civilian" informed his doctoral dissertation, "The Terminal Adolescence Syndrome," and its popular spinoff, "The Jock's Itch" (Contemporary Books, 1989). Right now, House is the pitching coach for the Texas Rangers. He thinks athletes are "dysfunctional" heroes who are "rewarded for what they are and criticized for who they are." Most have "responsibility without accountability." But this is nothing new, House said. Only the reporting is better.

"We're all products of the media's small world," he said. "Forty years ago, Jose Canseco could have come out of Madonna's apartment every night for a month, and no one would see it. Or the press would protect him, as they protected Babe Ruth or Mickey Mantle.

"Many of these players simply have no thermostats on their behavior mechanisms. When they act out, they are seeking to find some balance in their environment, to see how far they can go. And as long as they can put up good numbers, no one will create boundaries for them."

House believes that those boundaries need to be set in real adolescence, when athletes are traditionally waved through the normal tollbooths of life by peers who idolize them, teachers who give them grades they don't deserve and parents who don't make them take out the trash.
   27. JJ1986 Posted: July 16, 2008 at 06:52 PM (#2861563)
That's what I thought Levski. Wasn't the entire family at his 300th win, which wasn't all that long ago?

Yes, he's definitely married and has kids with his wife who are in their teens.
   28. Rocco's Not-so Malfunctioning Mitochondria Posted: July 16, 2008 at 07:31 PM (#2861602)
Back when I was in college, ballplayers did Alyssa Milano all the time. It was no big deal.
   29. I am Ted F'ing Williams Posted: July 16, 2008 at 07:33 PM (#2861603)
Lemme guess: "David" is an engineer of some sort?
   30. The Kids Are Enright (1k5v3L) Posted: July 16, 2008 at 07:36 PM (#2861605)
Lemme guess: "David" is an engineer of some sort?
Import/export of matches... when he's not an architect... or dabbling in marine biology
   31. David Nieporent (now, with children) Posted: July 16, 2008 at 07:37 PM (#2861606)
known only as “David.”

She must be a Libertarian who lurks here.
Damn. You can't keep anything secret these days.
   32. Chase Utley, Shooty's Favorite Robot (Joey Belle) Posted: July 16, 2008 at 07:37 PM (#2861608)
Good for her, we swore off baseball players too.

Signed,

The Seattle Mariners.
   33. Moneyball can't buy you love (Joey B.) Posted: July 16, 2008 at 07:43 PM (#2861615)
If she thinks that the players are childish, she should see what some of the fans are like, especially in this place.
   34. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader Posted: July 16, 2008 at 07:49 PM (#2861622)
If she thinks that the players are childish, she should see what some of the fans are like, especially in this place.

I couldn't agree more. This place sucks.
   35. Walt Davis Posted: July 16, 2008 at 07:52 PM (#2861627)
Didn't she date Pavano too?

This is about baseball players she's dated. Pavano doesn't qualify.

As to Glavine, here's "proof":

http://www.whosdatedwho.com/celebrities/couples/profile/alyssa-milano-and-tom-glavine.htm

Based on that website, Jessica Biel had a very bad 2006. Poor thing. I wonder if she's still trying to get over having her heart broken by all those losers....
   36. Don't want the truth; just wanna see some dingers Posted: July 16, 2008 at 07:53 PM (#2861630)
#31: It's actually a mechanic with a kroner-comprehension problem
   37. s.zielinski Posted: July 16, 2008 at 07:57 PM (#2861635)
Maturity and sex???? That must be some newfangled thing. At least I've never heard or seen it before.
   38. The Bones McCoy of THT Posted: July 16, 2008 at 07:59 PM (#2861639)
Good for her, we swore off baseball players too.

Signed,

The Seattle Mariners.


RDF ... MBS etc.

Best Regards

John
   39. The Kids Are Enright (1k5v3L) Posted: July 16, 2008 at 08:05 PM (#2861645)

As to Glavine, here's "proof":
That's a different Tom Glavine, whose job is "Personality"
   40. JMPH Posted: July 16, 2008 at 08:05 PM (#2861646)
Import/export of matches

The really long ones?
   41. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: July 16, 2008 at 08:58 PM (#2861710)
"Based on that website, Jessica Biel had a very bad 2006."

Getting herpes from Jeter probably didn't help, either.
   42. The Kids Are Enright (1k5v3L) Posted: July 16, 2008 at 09:02 PM (#2861714)
Getting herpes from Jeter probably didn't help, either.
At least Jeter delivered the real goods. A-rod would've only given her some easily curable skin rash
   43. Kyle S at work Posted: July 16, 2008 at 09:06 PM (#2861718)
Glavine was divorced and remarried in the mid 90s - his eldest daughter is by his first wife, and two sons are from his second. Still, if they dated in 2006, he was definitely married at the time.
   44. Crispix Attacks Posted: July 16, 2008 at 09:14 PM (#2861722)
I like the ad at the top of this page. In extremely generic font it just contains various floating words, including "Zito", "Barry Zito", "Pitcher", and "Wang".

People are more likely to click on Barry Zito-related Google Ads than Brad Penny-related ones? Or Josh Beckett ones? (wasn't she with him too?)

Also, I figure "David" is an NFL player. Because memorizing the playbook takes so much maturity than memorizing a set of signs and pitcher/hitter tendencies!
   45. jmurph Posted: July 16, 2008 at 09:15 PM (#2861724)
Milano says, “They are grown men playing a little boy’s sport. That makes them childish.”


Wasn't baseball invented by/for soldiers? Why does she hate America/freedom so much?
   46. The NeverEnding Torii (oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh) Posted: July 16, 2008 at 09:20 PM (#2861725)
"They are grown men playing a little boy's sport. Whereas I spent eight years pretending that I had magical powers using my supernatural abilities to defeat warlocks, demons and various evil forces for a living."

Baseball players aside, she's also been linked to Fred Durst, Kirk Cameron and Justin Timberlake. I guess men would seem childish, if your taste in men was absolutely mind-bogglingly atrocious.
   47. Crispix Attacks Posted: July 16, 2008 at 09:22 PM (#2861726)
What's wrong with Justin Timberlake?

I suppose you think girls should be aroused by people like Gladstone, and Earl Haig.
   48. The Kids Are Enright (1k5v3L) Posted: July 16, 2008 at 09:26 PM (#2861728)
I suppose you think girls should be aroused by people like Gladstone, and Earl Haig.
Or Kevin Youkilis
   49. J. Michael Neal Posted: July 16, 2008 at 09:46 PM (#2861744)
Maturity and sex???? That must be some newfangled thing. At least I've never heard or seen it before.


I'd settle for finding one or the other.
   50. A triple short of the cycle Posted: July 16, 2008 at 09:53 PM (#2861748)
Go for the sex, and when that doesn't work (i.e., you don't get any), you've achieved some character building/maturation.

Speaking from experience here.
   51. Ivan Grushenko of Hong Kong Posted: July 16, 2008 at 09:56 PM (#2861753)
You'd settle for maturity over sex?
   52. Designated Sitter (GGC) Posted: July 16, 2008 at 10:04 PM (#2861757)
Do you remember the time a poster, I can't remember his name, who dropped into a thread and was asking advice on whether he should drop his new girlfriend because she had genital herpes? Remember that?


Yeah, that was an early Lounge or something.
   53. Francoeur Sans Gages (AlouGoodbye) Posted: July 17, 2008 at 12:32 AM (#2861831)
"They are grown men playing a little boy's sport. Whereas I spent eight years pretending that I had magical powers using my supernatural abilities to defeat warlocks, demons and various evil forces for a living."
I didn't know Alyssa Milano played World of Warcraft.
   54. Eraser-X is emphatically dominating teh site!!! Posted: July 17, 2008 at 12:38 AM (#2861834)
Wow, I wouldn't want to have sex with anyone mentioned in this thread.
   55. mashimaro Posted: July 17, 2008 at 12:41 AM (#2861835)
Double Dragon - damn, you can hardly recognize her.
   56. Boots Day Posted: July 17, 2008 at 01:04 AM (#2861845)
Wow, I wouldn't want to have sex with anyone mentioned in this thread.

Not even David Eisenhower? It would be worth it, just to be able to brag to your friends about it.
   57. Jay Z Posted: July 17, 2008 at 01:58 AM (#2861874)
She hit the pet peeve button - BASEBALL IS NOT A CHILD'S GAME! It is a 'gentleman's game' that happens to be played by children. Kids play golf, does that make it a 'child's game'? Grown men pretty much invented baseball and have been participating in the sport for 150 years.


Amen. I was driving by a baseball field the other day. Usually it's vacant, but once in a while some office workers would strike up a game after 3 O'Clock. You know who was on it? KIDS. Looked like they'd been there all day, too. Made me want to puke.
   58. Petuniaviles Posted: July 17, 2008 at 02:01 AM (#2861875)
Didn't she date Pavano too?
   59. Jeff K. Posted: July 17, 2008 at 02:11 AM (#2861883)
Damn. You can't keep anything secret these days.

I would giggle for a solid week if Milano and DMN became the new celebrity item.
   60. Crispix Attacks Posted: July 17, 2008 at 02:14 AM (#2861884)
If random waitresses can become recognizable paparazzi targets by dating George Clooney, random lawyers can do so with Alyssa Milano. And in fact, I would expect a libertarian to appreciate the logic of the "sugar mama" economic relationship more than most other people.
   61. schuey Posted: July 17, 2008 at 02:17 AM (#2861886)
Arnold Scharzenegger taught Alyssa how to do calculus when they filmed "Commando" (bad guys shoot at Ah-nold when he is in flower bed. Flowers get mowed down, Ah-nold doesn't).
"If I wanted larger breasts, I would have gone out and bought them" Holly Marie Combs
   62. Jeff K. Posted: July 17, 2008 at 02:22 AM (#2861889)
If random waitresses can become recognizable paparazzi targets by dating George Clooney, random lawyers can do so with Alyssa Milano.

Oh, no doubt. Part of the amusement is that my mental image of Dave (no idea why) is sort of Niles Crane-ish. I would especially love to see a "Stars are people, too!" feature on him.
   63. AJM Posted: July 17, 2008 at 03:47 AM (#2861932)
I suppose you think girls should be aroused by people like Gladstone

Being aroused (then dumped) by a Gladstone helped Alanis Morissette write a hit song.
   64. SouthSideRyan Posted: July 17, 2008 at 04:00 AM (#2861939)
Cut it out.
   65. Jeff K. Posted: July 17, 2008 at 04:11 AM (#2861942)
I did the "Cut. It. Out." with the hand gestures at work, completely out of the blue, a few months ago, and everyone in earshot burst out laughing. I suppose that's one of those things.
   66. robinred Posted: July 17, 2008 at 04:35 AM (#2861949)
And, she ought to look in the mirror.


She already heard that when she called "Ed Wade's Romance Hotline" for advice.
   67. RMc is the loyal supporter of the MLB event Posted: July 17, 2008 at 11:22 AM (#2862007)
"That was two o'clock in the morning, and I get my date back to her apartment, and the two of us are alone, and we're going pretty good. I have to explain this very delicately, 'cause it's really tentative. As I... as I am an inordinately...passionate...man. Volatile. Sensual. In general, a stud.

When making love...when making love...in an effort...to prolong...the moment of ecstasy...I think of baseball players. All right, now you know. The two of us are making love violently, she's digging it, I figure I better start thinking of ballplayers quickly. So I figure it's one out, the ninth, the Giants are up.

Mays lines a single to right, he takes second on a wild pitch. Now she is digging her nails into my neck. I decided to pinch-hit for McCovey. Alou pops out. Haller singles, Mays holds third. Now I got a first-and-third situation. Two out, the Giants are behind one run. I don't know whether to squeeze or steal. She's been in the shower for ten minutes, already. This is too...I can't tell you anymore, this is too personal.

The Giants won." -- Woody Allen
   68. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: July 17, 2008 at 12:02 PM (#2862015)
"That's Jessica Alba, not Jessica Biel.

Both have dated Jeter, and both are mentioned in the link.
   69. AROM Posted: July 17, 2008 at 12:20 PM (#2862021)
Jeteris doing all the hot Jessicas, and he's doing them in alphabetical order. He's on to Jessica Rabbit now.
   70. Misirlou's got a busy day, he's wearing a vest Posted: July 17, 2008 at 12:38 PM (#2862030)
Jeteris doing all the hot Jessicas, and he's doing them in alphabetical order. He's on to Jessica Rabbit now.


When he gets to Jessica Tandy....don't tell us.
   71. TerpNats Posted: July 17, 2008 at 01:04 PM (#2862044)
If Alyssa Milano always dreamed "of being a star slugger," one of the writers at "Charmed" should have written an episode to that effect. Then again, one of the special effects I'm not all that eager to see is that of a bulked-up, 'roided Alyssa Milano.
   72. Shooty: Applying to be Fearless Leader Posted: July 17, 2008 at 01:17 PM (#2862052)
Then again, one of the special effects I'm not all that eager to see is that of a bulked-up, 'roided Alyssa Milano.

A-Rod is!
   73. TerpNats Posted: July 17, 2008 at 05:34 PM (#2862299)
Then again, one of the special effects I'm not all that eager to see is that of a bulked-up, 'roided Alyssa Milano.

A-Rod is!
Maddy does 'roids? That's new to me...although I know that in the '90s, there was talk of her and Goldie Hawn doing a film version of "Chicago," and back then Goldie was known as a proponent of HGH.
   74. AJM Posted: July 17, 2008 at 05:37 PM (#2862305)
I'm not all that eager to see is that of a bulked-up, 'roided Alyssa Milano.

I could make a joke about "the cream" and "the clear", but I'll refrain.
   75. Darnell McDonald had a farm Posted: July 17, 2008 at 05:43 PM (#2862313)
Hopefully this starts a trend, it would be nice to stop herpes in its tracks - one less thing to worry about when I'm banging skanks
   76. Gonfalon Bubble Posted: July 17, 2008 at 06:05 PM (#2862336)
Didn't she date Pavano too?

Secretly married him, I heard. One of many. Her full name is Alyssa Milano Pavano Zambrano Cano Soriano Trombley.
   77. AJM Posted: July 17, 2008 at 06:13 PM (#2862351)
Her full name is Alyssa Milano Pavano Zambrano Cano Soriano Trombley Terwilliger Hutz McClure.
   78. villageidiom Posted: July 17, 2008 at 06:14 PM (#2862353)
Tinkerbell stays alive if you clap your hands, and this thread stays alive as long as someone asks...

Didn't she date Pavano too?
   79. The Polish Sausage Racer Posted: July 17, 2008 at 07:36 PM (#2862467)
Wait, wasn't she involved with Pavano?

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