Minor-league team to have Marco Rubio Water Bottle Giveaway Night

As noted orator, Horace DeBussy Jones, once pointed out…“No speech can please for long or live forever…that is spoken by a water drinker”

Florida senator Marco Rubio’s excessive hydration during his response to the State of the Union has become an Internet sensation. Knowing that and knowing how creative minor-league ballclubs get at times with promotions, this shouldn’t be too much a shock: The Fort Myers Miracle are set to have Marco Rubio Water Bottle Giveaway Night this season.

Here’s a portion of the release from the Miracle, the High-A affiliate of the Minnesota Twins.

  Fans entering Hammond Stadium will receive a water bottle while being encouraged to gather in the shady parts of the ballpark to stay cool when the heat is on and prevent perspiration. The Miracle will help recreate Rubio’s thirst-quenching moment on national television by setting up a booth where fans can put on a sports jacket, stand in front of a set and down some high-quality H2O.

  Those picking up tickets at the will call window should be prepared for unlicked ticket envelopes because our parched Capital Bank ticket office employees will be saving saliva. Fans will need to salvage water wisely with special deals on high-sodium concession items such as chips, popcorn and peanuts.

  In an effort to keep the field saturated, the Hammond Stadium grounds crew will participate in a mid-game rain dance because even the Earth needs a drink on a hot day. Fans can expect to make a big splash with a stadium-wide game of Marco Polo.