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Sunday, February 17, 2013

Minor-league team to have Marco Rubio Water Bottle Giveaway Night

As noted orator, Horace DeBussy Jones, once pointed out…“No speech can please for long or live forever…that is spoken by a water drinker”

Florida senator Marco Rubio’s excessive hydration during his response to the State of the Union has become an Internet sensation. Knowing that and knowing how creative minor-league ballclubs get at times with promotions, this shouldn’t be too much a shock: The Fort Myers Miracle are set to have Marco Rubio Water Bottle Giveaway Night this season.

Here’s a portion of the release from the Miracle, the High-A affiliate of the Minnesota Twins.

  Fans entering Hammond Stadium will receive a water bottle while being encouraged to gather in the shady parts of the ballpark to stay cool when the heat is on and prevent perspiration. The Miracle will help recreate Rubio’s thirst-quenching moment on national television by setting up a booth where fans can put on a sports jacket, stand in front of a set and down some high-quality H2O.

  Those picking up tickets at the will call window should be prepared for unlicked ticket envelopes because our parched Capital Bank ticket office employees will be saving saliva. Fans will need to salvage water wisely with special deals on high-sodium concession items such as chips, popcorn and peanuts.

  In an effort to keep the field saturated, the Hammond Stadium grounds crew will participate in a mid-game rain dance because even the Earth needs a drink on a hot day. Fans can expect to make a big splash with a stadium-wide game of Marco Polo.

Repoz Posted: February 17, 2013 at 05:23 PM | 16 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: minor leagues

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   1. Esoteric Posted: February 17, 2013 at 07:16 PM (#4371130)
How about we NOT give Repoz what he wants in this thread?
   2. Lassus Posted: February 17, 2013 at 09:04 PM (#4371150)
Paul McCartney?
   3. Gonfalon B. Posted: February 17, 2013 at 09:43 PM (#4371157)
The Miracle's first home game is on April 12th. This should be almost as hilarious and topical in two months or more as the "thirsty Rubio" joke will be in this week's upcoming late night monologues. Maybe they could parlay this into a series of zany promotions about Gingrich's moonbase, Obama's crappy debate, and Uzbekibekibekistan.
   4. GGC don't think it can get longer than a novella Posted: February 17, 2013 at 09:57 PM (#4371159)
How about we NOT give Repoz what he wants in this thread?


You could continue the Sickels thread. It died about a month ago.
   5. asinwreck Posted: February 17, 2013 at 10:05 PM (#4371160)
I'm guessing Mike Veeck came up with this one.
   6. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: February 17, 2013 at 10:25 PM (#4371164)
What was that other ephemeral meme some team announced they were going to do a promotion about?

What a waste of time.
   7. Joey B. is being stalked by a (Gonfa) loon Posted: February 17, 2013 at 11:22 PM (#4371180)
How about we NOT give Repoz what he wants

A life? Naah, he obviously doesn't want one of those.
   8. RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: February 17, 2013 at 11:31 PM (#4371183)
It comes after "Gangam-Style Night" but before "Borat Night".
   9. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: February 17, 2013 at 11:50 PM (#4371191)
To be fair, this is a Florida team making fun of their own senator. A little less pathetic than when the Las Vegas Wranglers did a promotion about Rod Blagojevich.
   10. greenback likes millwall, they don't care Posted: February 18, 2013 at 12:03 AM (#4371194)
This should be almost as hilarious and topical in two months or more as the "thirsty Rubio" joke will be in this week's upcoming late night monologues.


I guess that's better than "Beat the Tar out of Dan Stevens Night", which would be pretty popular with an extremely large group of women on Twitter right now.
   11. SoSH U at work Posted: February 18, 2013 at 12:19 AM (#4371200)
What was that other ephemeral meme some team announced they were going to do a promotion about?


Mantei Te'o.
   12. Pasta-diving Jeter (jmac66) Posted: February 18, 2013 at 12:31 AM (#4371207)
Mike Veeck owns the Riverdogs down here in Charleston, and he's had a few doozies: "Two Dead Fat Guys night"--honoring Babe Ruth and Elvis (anyone dressed like them got in free). Tonya Harding Night, where they gave out free (replica) metal bats. For Fathers Days, they were going to have a drawing for a free vasectomy, but the local Catholic diocese objected, so they called it off. Low attendance Night, where no one was allowed in the park except players and umpires (they wanted to break the low attendance record of 12 from 1881)
   13. Ebessan Posted: February 18, 2013 at 02:15 AM (#4371221)
and Uzbekibekibekistan

I hope that I'm dead by the time that "Uzbekibekibekistanstan" stops being funny.
   14. Gonfalon B. Posted: February 18, 2013 at 02:29 AM (#4371222)
To be fair, this is a Florida team making fun of their own senator. A little less pathetic than when the Las Vegas Wranglers did a promotion about Rod Blagojevich.

That makes it a little better. And Rick Scott Bobblehead Night would only make the children scream in terror.
   15. GGC don't think it can get longer than a novella Posted: February 18, 2013 at 10:15 AM (#4371256)
I hear that the LA Angels are holding a Darva Conger Night.
   16. GGC don't think it can get longer than a novella Posted: April 11, 2013 at 08:09 PM (#4411240)
Are they doing this tomorrow nite?

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