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Thursday, August 22, 2019

MLB warns sexual enhancers may include PEDs

Major League Baseball in a memo warned about the “very real risk” of over-the-counter sexual-enhancement pills after at least two players this year were suspended for performance-enhancing drugs and claimed the banned substances found in their urine came from the unregulated products, sources familiar with the situation told ESPN.

The use of over-the-counter pills, which are often purchased at gas stations is prevalent among baseball players, according to multiple sources. It prompted the league to send out a memo on Monday that outlines the risk of consuming non-NSF-certified supplements.

The memo, obtained by ESPN, warns that “these products are often contaminated with prohibited and unsafe ingredients” and that players are subject to discipline even if they inadvertently ingested a banned substance.

RoyalsRetro (AG#1F) Posted: August 22, 2019 at 06:22 AM | 26 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: peds

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   1. My name is RMc and I feel extremely affected Posted: August 22, 2019 at 09:23 PM (#5873634)
Sometimes, the jokes really do write themselves...
   2. Srul Itza Posted: August 22, 2019 at 10:15 PM (#5873643)
I am just trying to comprehend that for guys earning a major league salary, buying Over-The-Counter, Sexual Enhancement Pills from a Gas Station, is prevalent.

How much more likely is it, that they are deliberately doing PEDS, and the Gas Station Viagra claim is the functional equivalent of "the dog ate my homework"?
   3. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: August 22, 2019 at 10:19 PM (#5873644)
Eh, they've always got "tainted over-the-counter supplement" for that. I don't see why they would voluntarily sub in "gas station boner pills."
   4. Srul Itza Posted: August 22, 2019 at 10:28 PM (#5873647)
Frankly, given who they are, I would think they would prefer to claim they are doing PEDS, than admit they NEED boner pills, or that the best they could afford was the gas station variety.

   5. Joyful Calculus Instructor Posted: August 22, 2019 at 10:49 PM (#5873652)
Rafael Palmeiro was very outspoken about his use of Viagra and he got busted for PEDs.
   6. Lance Reddick! Lance him! Posted: August 22, 2019 at 11:26 PM (#5873658)
It's like you people have never even *heard* of using boner pills recreationally, which has only been a thing for two solid (ahem) decades.
   7. Bote Man Posted: August 23, 2019 at 02:16 AM (#5873675)
Is a vending machine on the wall still considered "over the counter"??
   8. Bote Man Posted: August 23, 2019 at 02:53 AM (#5873677)
And another thing: when will we learn of the suspension of Rawlings for their juiced balls???
   9. Lassus Posted: August 23, 2019 at 09:45 AM (#5873702)
It's like you people have never even *heard* of using boner pills recreationally, which has only been a thing for two solid (ahem) decades.

In their defense, one might doubt the utility of a gas-station boner pill in the same way they would should a gas-station condom.
   10. Wayne Newton's pet monkey (gef, talking mongoose) Posted: August 23, 2019 at 09:58 AM (#5873704)
In their defense, one might doubt the utility of a gas-station boner pill in the same way they would should a gas-station condom.


Philip K. Dick believed that tire regroover was the most demeaning job one could hold. I've always that the guys who restock gas-station condom machines could make that claim.
   11. Yonder Alonso in misguided trousers (cardinal) Posted: August 23, 2019 at 10:00 AM (#5873705)
Sometimes, the jokes really do write themselves...


"Tools of ignorance" indeed...
   12. . Posted: August 23, 2019 at 12:00 PM (#5873754)
There's a part of me that sees this as a signal that MLB might be trial ballooning the idea (*) of letting guys roid again in the hopes that it will make the turnstiles churn. If there are roids in regular old boner pills, what's the big deal anyway?

(*) More precisely, trial ballooning trial ballooning the idea.
   13. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: August 23, 2019 at 12:47 PM (#5873767)
Philip K. Dick believed that tire regroover was the most demeaning job one could hold. I've always that the guys who restock gas-station condom machines could make that claim.
In Chicago, as in (I assume) many other places in the world, we have horse-drawn carriage rides for tourists. The horses wear bags to catch their excrement, so that (ideally) shoppers walking down Michigan Avenue don't unwittingly tromp through massive piles of horse sh*t. There has to be a guy somewhere whose job it is to wash the horses' sh*tbags, and I think that guy probably wins here.
   14. Esoteric Posted: August 23, 2019 at 01:02 PM (#5873778)
With all due respect to the many great nominees in this thread (I especially appreciated #13, as someone who actually HAS stepped in a pile of horse dung in The Loop while walking home from work one day), the answer is and will always be the one posited by Norm MacDonald: Assistant Crack Whore.
   15. What did Billy Ripken have against ElRoy Face? Posted: August 23, 2019 at 02:15 PM (#5873792)
as someone who actually HAS stepped in a pile of horse dung in The Loop while walking home from work one day
The system has its imperfections.
   16. Traderdave Posted: August 23, 2019 at 02:48 PM (#5873799)
Do gas station boner pills really work?
   17. stanmvp48 Posted: August 23, 2019 at 03:08 PM (#5873807)
That was my question. They can't be the equivalent of Viagra can they? Or are they testosterone stimulants? Or nothing at all?

   18. Fernigal McGunnigle Posted: August 23, 2019 at 03:22 PM (#5873817)
Philip K. Dick believed that tire regroover was the most demeaning job one could hold. I've always that the guys who restock gas-station condom machines could make that claim.
Near Chapel Hill I used to live across the street from a guy who did this, among other things, and it was actually a pretty choice gig. He owned a bunch of pay phones, a bunch of vending machines that sold things other than food and drink, and those weird little kiddie rocking horse rides that you could get on in front of the grocery store. So you could get on his pay phone to call Sweet Thing and set up a date, you could go to his vending machines for condoms and mouthwash and BC Headache Powder, and then you and Sweet Thing could go down to Kroger and ride his unicorn.

My neighbor would spend one day a week going to all of the convenience stores and etc to fix & restock the vending machines, and spent a fair amount of time the rest of the week dealing with his pay phones. My impression was that he was making a solid living while working maybe 30 hours a week, which freed him up to focus most of his efforts on drinking beer and getting high on his front porch.

EDIT: So he was making a middle class salary, paid entirely in quarters that he had to gather himself. That's weird.
   19. A triple short of the cycle Posted: August 23, 2019 at 04:05 PM (#5873842)
On the sports radio station here in S.F. (95.7) they carry a commercial for an E.D. drug (forget which) in which the woman announcer exclaims "It's like viagra on steroids!" Now realizing that may be literally true.
   20. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Griffin (Vlad) Posted: August 23, 2019 at 04:30 PM (#5873853)
In Chicago, as in (I assume) many other places in the world, we have horse-drawn carriage rides for tourists. The horses wear bags to catch their excrement, so that (ideally) shoppers walking down Michigan Avenue don't unwittingly tromp through massive piles of horse sh*t. There has to be a guy somewhere whose job it is to wash the horses' sh*tbags, and I think that guy probably wins here.


“At the store, they have one-hundred-percent-recycled toilet paper,” Marla says. “The worst job in the whole world must be recycling toilet paper.”

-Chuck Pahlahniuk, in Fight Club
   21. base ball chick Posted: August 23, 2019 at 07:37 PM (#5873912)
Lance Reddick! Lance him! Posted: August 22, 2019 at 11:26 PM (#5873658)
It's like you people have never even *heard* of using boner pills recreationally, which has only been a thing for two solid (ahem) decades


- i am not sure what other use they would have besides recreational

can someone esplain pls thx

- and i am still not understnding why a super healthy young athlete in his 20s would need something like that
   22. snapper (history's 42nd greatest monster) Posted: August 23, 2019 at 07:43 PM (#5873918)
- and i am still not understnding why a super healthy young athlete in his 20s would need something like that

Because being super fit doesn't necessarily mean they're super healthy? Physically or mentally.
   23. SoSH U at work Posted: August 23, 2019 at 08:34 PM (#5873936)
- i am not sure what other use they would have besides recreational


Boner pills were designed for men who suffer erectile dysfunction. Boner pills are very frequently used by men who don't suffer erectile dysfunction.

Or, in my case, how I use it for professional purposes.
   24. Dromedary pretzels, only half a dinar (CoB). Posted: August 23, 2019 at 08:42 PM (#5873939)
- i am not sure what other use they would have besides recreational

can someone esplain pls thx


Because they take away the terror that you'll disappoint someone that you really think you care about and think you really want to please?

(well, at least 66% of it)
   25. bobm Posted: August 23, 2019 at 09:01 PM (#5873947)
- i am not sure what other use they would have besides recreational

can someone esplain pls thx


The Daily Beast (no pun intended): "Exposing Male Porn Stars’ Dirty Little Secret: ‘Do You Want to Pop a Pill?’"
   26. ReggieThomasLives Posted: August 24, 2019 at 09:42 PM (#5874187)
The FDA warns gas station ED pills contain the same active ingredient as Viagra (sildenafil), but in uncertain amounts. Could be much less or dangerously more.

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/pa8aqm/i-took-knockoff-viagra-until-i-learned-whats-in-it

And if you are young and have no problems getting a boner, Viagra is still great to party with. Keeps things going even longer and even stronger.

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