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Saturday, July 19, 2014

Neyer: Jeff Garlin, we hardly knew ye.

Just a bit outside the rules of professional conduct. #FJeff

In that same essay, I trumpeted the participation of Jeff Garlin. This gave me a great deal of pleasure, because I’m a huge fan and thought he would bring certain qualities to this page that might otherwise go missing.

I first met Garlin a couple of months ago, over pancakes (him) and French toast (me) before one of his shows at the legendary Largo. He was funny and engaging and down-to-earth, with occasional hints of sincere self-deprecation. When some tourists asked if he’d been on a certain sitcom way back when, he could not have been nicer to them. I said I like his movies (true); he said he likes my books (and loves Joe Posnanski, of course). He was everything you could hope for, when meeting a Hollywood celebrity whom you’d long admired from afar.

...Monday, I received an e-mail from Garlin’s lawyer, listing a few seemingly minor concerns about our deal memo (which I’d dispatched some weeks earlier).

Tuesday, I published the essay about JABO’s impending birth, with Garlin figuring prominently. Wednesday afternoon, we launched JABO with Garlin, head shot and all, listed among our contributors. The site looked great, and I was thrilled with our Opening Day lineup. I gotta tell you, it made for a really nice few hours there.

Wednesday evening, just as I thought it was safe to bask in my continuing good fortune, I received a terse e-mail from Garlin.

He said he couldn’t do it. When I responded in confusion and dismay, he explained that he really wanted to do it, but just couldn’t because of professional considerations. Does Garlin do impressions? I don’t think he does. But I’ve been imagining another meeting over pancakes, and this time he does his best Michael Corleone: It’s not personal, Robby. It’s strictly business.

One of these days, maybe I’ll grow up enough where I don’t take it personally. Right now, it really hurts and I wonder when I’ll be able to enjoy Garlin’s work again. It’s okay, though. I know that in the big picture, I’m barely a mite on the flea on the pimple on the ass of Jeff Garlin’s career. But this mite just spent five tremendously happy days in the Twin Cities, marred just briefly by one painful e-mail exchange. This mite will find another flea on another pimple on another ass. There’s always another ass.

Not that Jeff Garlin’s an ass! I can’t see into his heart or his mind, but I suspect he’s a decent sort. And he said he likes my books! I hope he’s healthy and happy and gets great ratings in his new time slot.

Repoz Posted: July 19, 2014 at 06:05 AM | 57 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: media

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   1. RickG Posted: July 19, 2014 at 06:38 AM (#4754205)
Has anyone been able to find an RSS feed for JABO or any of its individual components yet? I spent five minutes the other day searching and came up empty.

Also, the disclaimer/link section at the bottom of their pages doesn't work. I want my free thing to be perfect, consarnit!
   2. PASTE Thinks This Trout Kid Might Be OK (Zeth) Posted: July 19, 2014 at 07:15 AM (#4754207)
Sounds like standard Hollywood, dunnit?
   3. Jolly Old St. Nick Is A Jolly Old St. Crip Posted: July 19, 2014 at 07:24 AM (#4754208)
I'm just glad Garlin's not dead, which is what I first thought when I saw the headline.
   4. TRBMB Posted: July 19, 2014 at 07:33 AM (#4754210)
I remain in favor of bombing Hollywood. Get rid of it.
   5. A big pile of nonsense (gef the talking mongoose) Posted: July 19, 2014 at 08:50 AM (#4754218)
I need to hit Google, because I haven't the vaguest idea of who Jeff Garlin is.
   6. A big pile of nonsense (gef the talking mongoose) Posted: July 19, 2014 at 08:52 AM (#4754220)
Ahhhh ... I see he's been in a bunch of things I'm unfamiliar with. No surprise there, obviously.
   7. Jose Can Still Seabiscuit Posted: July 19, 2014 at 08:59 AM (#4754221)
Well all along I was thinking he was that comedian with the puppet. Turns out that is Jeff Dunham, not Garlin.
   8. boteman is not here 'til October Posted: July 19, 2014 at 09:33 AM (#4754225)
Good thing it wasn't Jeff Gannon. He knew that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his a$$, pimples or no.
   9. Lassus Posted: July 19, 2014 at 09:47 AM (#4754231)
This strikes me as rather passive/aggressive, but probably in certain situation there's no other way to describe exactly what you're thinking.
   10. Starlin of the Slipstream (TRHN) Posted: July 19, 2014 at 10:00 AM (#4754236)
Garlin has a show on ABC which owns Grantland. Perhaps ABC or ESPN thought, if he's gonna write about baseball on a slick looking website, he's gonna do it on ours.
   11. The District Attorney Posted: July 19, 2014 at 10:05 AM (#4754238)
I'm surprised Neyer would handle this in this manner. If you just take Garlin's name and picture off the masthead, no one is going to demand an explanation. (Especially when the explanation is exactly what you'd guess anyway.) And if you do feel you need to acknowledge it, you'd normally just say "Jeff Garlin won't be able to participate", rather than give the 14-paragraph story about how you had breakfast with the guy and he broke his promise and it really hurts.

I mean, of course I get it insofar as it's Rob's site, and this is how he feels, so he wrote it. (And it's more interesting for the reader than just hearing that Jeff Garlin won't be writing.¹) But it feels very emo, and there are good reasons why most people wouldn't do things this way.

I do think the Grantlandization of the site is a great idea. Neyer didn't seem to be fitting in well there, or getting a lot of traffic. I think this will give the site more of an identity and make it a lot more visible.

¹ Marginally more interesting, anyway. It's not like it's a thrilling tale.
   12. JE (Jason) Posted: July 19, 2014 at 10:21 AM (#4754244)
p.s. Anybody have Larry David's number? I hear he loves baseball. And is a real peach to work with, besides.

I nearly #### my pants laughing so hard during that Sopranos episode when Junior Soprano thought he saw himself and Bobby Bacala on TV; it was actually HBO colleagues David and Garlin....
   13. DJS and the Infinite Sadness Posted: July 19, 2014 at 10:27 AM (#4754247)
This was a surprising result. If you don't read Neyer on Twitter, he randomly tweeted a couple days ago about someone breaking his heart. Which naturally led to a lot of speculation.
   14. PASTE Thinks This Trout Kid Might Be OK (Zeth) Posted: July 19, 2014 at 10:29 AM (#4754250)
I do think the Grantlandization of the site is a great idea. Neyer didn't seem to be fitting in well there, or getting a lot of traffic. I think this will give the site more of an identity and make it a lot more visible.


I'm a lot more skeptical, because Rob Neyer has nowhere near the visibility Bill Simmons does.

Garlin has a show on ABC which owns Grantland. Perhaps ABC or ESPN thought, if he's gonna write about baseball on a slick looking website, he's gonna do it on ours.


This certainly was a factor, I imagine.
   15. pure bull Posted: July 19, 2014 at 10:36 AM (#4754252)
if you've read rob for any length of time...he can be passive/aggressive occasionally. it's hard to discuss things publicly sometimes, whether in writing or talking...
   16. JE (Jason) Posted: July 19, 2014 at 10:43 AM (#4754256)
if you've read rob for any length of time...he can be passive/aggressive occasionally. it's hard to discuss things publicly sometimes, whether in writing or talking...

I'm surprised most folks here are focused on Neyer's response. In lieu of a "terse e-mail," why couldn't Garlin simply say, "Dude, I goofed big time. I'm sorry and will make it up to you. Next time your french toast is on me?"
   17. McCoy Posted: July 19, 2014 at 10:44 AM (#4754257)
Why did he write it? Because the internet demands content. Plain and simple. Thus we get people exploring their feelings and angst out in the open.
   18. GregD Posted: July 19, 2014 at 11:32 AM (#4754270)
Area man says he will do a favor, doesn't actually do favor
   19. salvomania Posted: July 19, 2014 at 11:35 AM (#4754271)
I’m barely a mite on the flea on the pimple on the ass of Jeff Garlin’s career

Have no idea who Jeff Garlin is. I suppose I could Google him but then I'd just find out, as gef did, that I've never seen or heard of any of the things he's been in.

EDIT: OK, I Googled him, and I've heard of but never seen Curb your Enthusiasm, which I imagine is what he's best known for.
   20. Starlin of the Slipstream (TRHN) Posted: July 19, 2014 at 11:38 AM (#4754272)
When I first started visiting fangraphs, I was annoyed by the "Authors" roll that shows a bunch of writers, some of whom I would read, but whose last post was 2006 or 2011. It was frustrating that Fangraphs seems to have a lot of contributors, but is really mostly Sullivan, Cameron, and Cistulli. I think Garlin ending up as someone on the Authors roll with 2 amusing posts would have been the best case scenario for this venture. He wasn't going to switch careers and become a baseball columnist, so I could see why he or his agent might put the kibosh on contributing his likeness and alienating his employer when the upside for everyone is so low.

As to the site, it's tough to see it really competing with Grantland. The site looks pretty modern and the big pictures on the stories are nice. But I think it'll be a niche site. The writing talent is just "eh," regardless of Garlin's participation. Neyer was never appointment reading. I never actually read Rosenthal, since he goes down better when half-digested through MLBtraderumors. The Bpro stuff and fangraphs stuff I might read if it's ever linked here.
   21. JE (Jason) Posted: July 19, 2014 at 11:54 AM (#4754276)
As to the site, it's tough to see it really competing with Grantland. The site looks pretty modern and the big pictures on the stories are nice. But I think it'll be a niche site. The writing talent is just "eh," regardless of Garlin's participation.

Let's see what happens. IIRC, Grantland took more than a handful of weeks to become what it is today.
   22. Jolly Old St. Nick Is A Jolly Old St. Crip Posted: July 19, 2014 at 12:06 PM (#4754283)
OK, I Googled him, and I've heard of but never seen Curb your Enthusiasm, which I imagine is what he's best known for.

You owe it to yourself to rent at least one season's worth of that show. It's like Seinfeld without any of a broadcast network's restraining sensibilities, and Garlin is one of the best characters.
   23. Yeaarrgghhhh Posted: July 19, 2014 at 12:10 PM (#4754287)
This is incredibly unprofessional of Neyer. Garlin obviously could have handled the situation better, but I'm really surprised by Neyer's response.
   24. morineko Posted: July 19, 2014 at 12:21 PM (#4754291)
I have been reading that site...because that's where Gabe Kapler's new articles for Fox are going, and I know when he posts because he tweets about it. Neyer seems like he wants to relaunch the thing he did for SBN which ended up getting more traffic for Grant Brisbee than him (because, you know, better writing)
   25. Steve Treder Posted: July 19, 2014 at 12:24 PM (#4754293)
This is a mountain on a molehill in a mountain on a molehill.
   26. JE (Jason) Posted: July 19, 2014 at 12:31 PM (#4754297)
I have been reading that site...because that's where Gabe Kapler's new articles for Fox are going, and I know when he posts because he tweets about it.

Has anyone listened to a Fox Sports game featuring Kapler commentary? It's quite refreshing to hear an in-game analyst ridiculing the supposed art of hitting with RISP.
   27. Repoz Posted: July 19, 2014 at 12:48 PM (#4754301)
Has anyone listened to a Fox Sports game featuring Kapler commentary? It's quite refreshing to hear an in-game analyst ridiculing the supposed art of hitting with RISP.

Yeah, but I also saw a segment where Kapler basically wrapped himself up as a gift and gave himself to Jeter.
   28. Rickey! trades in sheep and threats Posted: July 19, 2014 at 12:57 PM (#4754307)
I can't imagine losing the guy who stars in The Goldbergs (thanks Wiki) is going to make or break your new venture, Rob.
   29. JE (Jason) Posted: July 19, 2014 at 12:59 PM (#4754309)
Yeah, but I also saw a segment where Kapler basically wrapped himself up as a gift and gave himself to Jeter.

Sure, but that's a worthwhile tradeoff. His jaw will eventually tire from fellating Jeter but the sabermetric-friendly comments will continue ad infinitum.
   30. PASTE Thinks This Trout Kid Might Be OK (Zeth) Posted: July 19, 2014 at 01:22 PM (#4754327)
I think the Jeter fellating is likely to only increase more every year until the heat-death of the universe.
   31. Tom Nawrocki Posted: July 19, 2014 at 01:38 PM (#4754334)
This is incredibly unprofessional of Neyer. Garlin obviously could have handled the situation better, but I'm really surprised by Neyer's response.


Concur. It seems obvious what happened: Garlin had every intention of doing it, but once some combination of managers, agents and lawyers heard about it, they told him he couldn't. Neyer's description of events makes him sound not only pissy, but naive about the way Hollywood and creative types actually work in the real world.
   32. Lance Reddick! Lance him! Posted: July 19, 2014 at 02:09 PM (#4754347)
”So, did Jeff Garlin’s deal close?”

“Yeah, I just spoke with his agent, and he’s so excited to do this. He’s just not gonna do it.”

“Wait, what do you mean… he's not gonna… he said he was gonna do it. Now he's saying he's not gonna do it?”

“No, he's not saying that. He will never say that.”

“So he is gonna do it?”

“Yeah, in the Hollywood way.”

“What does that mean?”

“He's not gonna do it. He's into it one hundred percent. He's just not gonna do it.”
   33. Swedish Chef Posted: July 19, 2014 at 02:37 PM (#4754358)
This is incredibly unprofessional of Neyer. Garlin obviously could have handled the situation better, but I'm really surprised by Neyer's response.

Which is why "professionals" are such anodyne, plastic and ignorable people.
   34. boteman is not here 'til October Posted: July 19, 2014 at 03:12 PM (#4754378)
Garlin had every intention of doing it, but once some combination of managers, agents and lawyers heard about it,

NOT AGENTS!! "Family Advisors". Get it right.
   35. AuntBea Posted: July 19, 2014 at 03:44 PM (#4754394)
This is a mountain on a molehill in a mountain on a molehill.
I just spent the last 60 seconds actually trying to visualize this literally. It was an interesting exercise, and I recommend it to all.
   36. cardsfanboy Posted: July 19, 2014 at 03:48 PM (#4754397)
first thing I thought of ...

Who is Jeff Garlin?...(goes and googles him--sees that his is basically a character actor with no reason for anyone to know who he is outside of his family-) .... no loss.

As to the site, it's tough to see it really competing with Grantland. The site looks pretty modern and the big pictures on the stories are nice. But I think it'll be a niche site. The writing talent is just "eh," regardless of Garlin's participation. Neyer was never appointment reading. I never actually read Rosenthal, since he goes down better when half-digested through MLBtraderumors. The Bpro stuff and fangraphs stuff I might read if it's ever linked here.


I love Neyer when he writes, and contrary to his claim, he almost never "wrote" on SBN(everything was more or less twitter writing, short, condensed and no substance) Rosenthal is great, and emulating Grantland without Simmons would automatically make this site better than Grantland.
   37. Dog on the sidewalk Posted: July 19, 2014 at 05:20 PM (#4754444)
Who is Jeff Garlin?...(goes and googles him--sees that his is basically a character actor with no reason for anyone to know who he is outside of his family-) .... no loss.

Curb Your Enthusiasm is a popular show, and he's either the 2nd or 3rd most prominently featured actor on the show. I knew who he was and what his name was, but I'm also a fan of the show he's known for. I suppose there are also some people who know him from the Goldbergs. Not sure if he's done anything else well known (he wrote and starred in a movie that exited my mind the moment I was done watching it).

That said, his presence wouldn't have made me any more likely to visit Neyer's site.
   38. cardsfanboy Posted: July 19, 2014 at 05:30 PM (#4754447)
Curb Your Enthusiasm is a popular show, and he's either the 2nd or 3rd most prominently featured actor on the show. I knew who he was and what his name was, but I'm also a fan of the show he's known for. I suppose there are also some people who know him from the Goldbergs. Not sure if he's done anything else well known (he wrote and starred in a movie that exited my mind the moment I was done watching it).


I recognized him from Arrested Development.

He might have been a main member on one low rated show, he's not really scream 'star' power or name recognition. (that is like Sean Maher)
   39. jobu Posted: July 19, 2014 at 05:44 PM (#4754455)
if you've read rob for any length of time...he can be passive/aggressive occasionally.


I concur with this. There's no crying in baseball, Rob.
   40. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: July 19, 2014 at 05:47 PM (#4754457)
Jeff Garlin's entire career is his role on Curb Your Enthusiasm. As a result he is incredibly famous in Hollywood but not anywhere else. He also directed and starred in a movie 8 years ago, which was almost universally ignored and not liked by anyone who did see it.
   41. Harveys Wallbangers Posted: July 19, 2014 at 05:50 PM (#4754461)
garlin provided the voice of the captain on the movie wall-e

so he's aces with me
   42. Jolly Old St. Nick Is A Jolly Old St. Crip Posted: July 19, 2014 at 06:43 PM (#4754488)
Jeff Garlin's entire career is his role on Curb Your Enthusiasm. As a result he is incredibly famous in Hollywood but not anywhere else.

Except for people all over the country who happen to think that CYE is one of the greatest shows ever, and that Garlin was one of the main straws who stirred the drink. The episode where he asks Larry to remove his secret porno stash while he's in the hospital made the price of the entire first season worthwhile all by itself. It's not as if CYE is known only in Hollywood.

(Well, okay, if all you mean is that he's not "incredibly famous" elsewhere, then yeah. But he's not exactly an unknown outside Hollywood.)
   43. Greg K Posted: July 19, 2014 at 07:07 PM (#4754507)
Is Curb Your Enthusiasm a niche show?

I guess it sort of had (has?) feet in both worlds, when HBO was niche and now when it has pretty big, mainstream shows (thinking Game of Thrones here).

Although it remains true, asking if you know Jeff Garlin is pretty much the same thing as asking if you watch Curb Your Enthusiasm.
   44. Commissioner Bud Black Beltre Hillman Posted: July 19, 2014 at 07:14 PM (#4754511)
Who is Jeff Garlin?...(goes and googles him--sees that his is basically a character actor with no reason for anyone to know who he is outside of his family-) .... no loss.
This reminds me of Ray's "Never heard a word...." I mean, besides being obviously wrong, 'character actor with no reason for anyone to know who he is outside of his family' is just a strange, strange thing to say. I honestly have no idea why someone would form that thought let alone feel the need to post it.

(What Andy said at the end but, really, what a strange thing to say)
   45. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: July 19, 2014 at 08:27 PM (#4754536)
Except for people all over the country who happen to think that CYE is one of the greatest shows ever, and that Garlin was one of the main straws who stirred the drink.

Well, yeah, of course, but he's not 1/10 as famous as one of those guys on The Big Bang Theory.
   46. Steve Parris, Je t'aime Posted: July 19, 2014 at 09:11 PM (#4754547)
Garlin was one of the celebrity fans featured in the Cubs documentary a few years back. Came off like your stereotypical gregarious, funny and mildly tortured Cubs fan.

I'll go along with the groupthink that this was a strange thing for Neyer to post. I like Garlin fine as a comedian but doubt I would've read anything of his, unless it was excerpted here.
   47. Arbitol Dijaler Posted: July 19, 2014 at 09:53 PM (#4754554)


Well, yeah, of course, but he's not 1/10 as famous as one of those guys on The Big Bang Theory.


That's not fair, he was Darlene's boyfriend.
   48. AJMcCringleberry Posted: July 19, 2014 at 10:06 PM (#4754558)
CYE is hilarious and so is Garlin.
   49. G.W.O. Posted: July 20, 2014 at 03:07 AM (#4754611)
So they're looking for a replacement for a guy who's major claim to fame is being a third-banana on a Larry David show?

I hear Michael Richards is taking phone calls, or maybe the guy who played Gunther on Friends, if you"d rather find someone more widely recognised than Garlin.
   50. ...and Toronto selects: Troy Tulowitzki Posted: July 20, 2014 at 10:57 AM (#4754648)
Almost everyone in this thread sounds like they're 60 years old and don't know what HBO is. Only on Primer apparently, is Pavement more mainstream than Curb Your Enthusiasm.
   51. Lance Reddick! Lance him! Posted: July 20, 2014 at 11:08 AM (#4754652)
"Curb Your Enthusiasm" may be great, but it's impossible to claim that something that draws maybe two million viewers is widely popular.
   52. Crispix reaches boiling point with lackluster play Posted: July 20, 2014 at 11:13 AM (#4754654)
No, you've gotta be some sort of out-of-touch 60-year-old not to be a fan of the work of 67-year-old Larry David.
   53. Jolly Old St. Nick Is A Jolly Old St. Crip Posted: July 20, 2014 at 12:15 PM (#4754666)
No, you've gotta be some sort of out-of-touch 60-year-old not to be a fan of the work of 67-year-old Larry David.

Or just someone with no sense of humor.
   54. Joyful Calculus Instructor Posted: July 20, 2014 at 12:31 PM (#4754671)
Never saw him act.
   55. A big pile of nonsense (gef the talking mongoose) Posted: July 20, 2014 at 12:43 PM (#4754679)
Almost everyone in this thread sounds like they're 60 years old and don't know what HBO is.


I think the only time I had HBO is when I had the premium cable package here for a couple of years early last decade. Haven't had cable since & didn't have it from 1990-2001, either. For some reason, whether they were cheaper or we just liked their offerings more, we only ever had The Movie Channel or ... another one that I'm blanking on* at the moment, but not (I don't think) Cinemax ... when we had cable from '86-'90.


Edit:

*Showtime. Duh.
   56. Greg K Posted: July 20, 2014 at 12:58 PM (#4754681)
Speaking of HBO, has anyone been watching The Leftovers?

I want to like it, mostly since I have nothing better to do on a Sunday night. But after three episodes it's still more interesting in theory than practice.
   57. McCoy Posted: July 20, 2014 at 05:20 PM (#4754767)
But after three episodes it's still more interesting in theory than practice.

There seems to be a glut of dramas like this now. Honeymoon is definitely over for the hour long drama. Watching Orphan Black is becoming a chore and I have no idea if I'll watch the next season. The last season of Luther was disappointing, the last couple of batches of one hour dramas have mostly been flops, and GoT takes about a bazillion years to air the next season, and Mad Men has become exhausting. I don't know if there is any must see dramas out there anymore. Since it is the offseason I'm probably forgetting one that is great but right now now, meh.

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