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1. Alberto Gilardino Posted: March 09, 2010 at 07:55 PM (#3475870)Seriously, until Jeter is making love beneath a painting of A-Rod as a centaur, this feud is not over.
Now that's what I call great writing.
I clicked with considerable fear.
Pretty snazzy, huh?
Now this is a link I want nothing to do with.
Or maybe get together with a certain Yankee sportscaster for a night?
Or maybe get together with a certain Yankee sportscaster for a night?
Is this a reference to Michael Kay's extended bachelorhood?
In the locker room, Yankees spring training complex. Jeter runs into A-Rod, who's admiring himself in the mirror.
"Hey, Rod, what's up?"
"Hey, Jetes, you heard that Kate left me?"
Jeter raises his eyebrows, "She left you just like that?"
"She said I had to choose between her and the paintings."
"The Centaur ones?"
A-Rod nods.
Jeter looks aghast, "But those are great!"
A-Rod nods again.
Jeter continues, "Speaking of those, would you mind if I borrowed one? Me and Minka is planning some high fantasy role play, and they would go great with it."
"No, what is it you're planning?"
"Just a little Lord of the Rings, Eowyn is going to get some elfish love from Legolas to celebrate six months of monogamy."
"But there are no centaurs in Middle Earth."
Jeter raises an eyebrow but remains silent.
A-Rod scratches his chin and continues, "But of course it could be a representation of Rohirrim myths, and anyway the Beornings show that Tolkien conceived the boundary between man and animal to be fluid."
"You got it."
"But Eowyn and Legolas never... never mind ...this Uruk Hai is going to find some elfish maiden to ravage!"
No way! Writing "sports stars in Middle Earth" fanfiction is almost a full time job.
He's not super busy like the rest of us who are saving humanity by reading baseball stories.
Especially since most of us cut out the reading, and skip directly to the commenting. Besides, who really needs to know anything more than the title to have an informed opinion on the content?
You break them up by trading Jeter for Hanley Ramirez and A-Rod for Longoria. That'll show those dirty Yanks.
"But there are no centaurs in Middle Earth."
Well, maybe he was confused. J.R.R. Tolken and C.S. Lewis did go to school together.
Okay, next suggestion!
You trade Jeter for Pujols, Teixeira for Ramirez, A-Rod for Howdy Doody, and Howdy Doody for Wright and Santana. That'll put half a continent between them and they'll become wrapped up in the 62 year old Clarabell-Cardinals blood feud. Problem solved.
There's always Naples, Florida to meet up and hang....
Ptt...212 miles of Florida asphalt couldn't part those two.
edit: passes half-full coke and rum above to Wally Cox in square number 2.
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