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Saturday, July 14, 2018

NYTimes: The New York Yankees Are a Moral Abomination

I mean, be reasonable: How often, as Derek Jeter’s retirement approached in 2014, were we made to endure the squealing ecstasies of television announcers too bedazzled by the fastidious delicacy of his dainty coupé-chassé en tournant on grounders to his right to notice his minuscule range or flimsy arm? Why were we forced to see him awarded a preposterous two additional Gold Gloves in his dotage when his defense was scarcely better than mediocre in his prime?

Who, moreover, can forget the obligatorily bibulous rhapsodies from sports commentators in the waning days of the old Yankee Stadium in 2008 — grown men dissolving in foaming raptures over a “great tradition” in its twilight or intoning solemn encomiums to the glorious “temple of sport” soon be reduced to dust? Temple, forsooth! More like the largest brothel in the world, being torn down only because a larger, glitzier brothel was being erected across the street. (Really, how does a Yankees fan’s pride in all those purchased championships differ from the self-delusion of a man staggering out of a bawdy house at dawn, complimenting himself on his magnificent powers of seduction?)

Who does this guy think he is?

 

Mr. Hart is the author of “The New Testament: A Translation.”

Oh, a theologian.  Well, I’m sold.  Do click through for the image of Baphomet in a Yankees uniform.

The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: July 14, 2018 at 07:43 PM | 16 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: chris truby, count da ringz, yankees, yeah jeets

Reader Comments and Retorts

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   1. Howie Menckel Posted: July 14, 2018 at 08:49 PM (#5709985)
well, that escalated quickly
   2. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: July 14, 2018 at 09:07 PM (#5709995)
It loses its charm at the end as it becomes a more quotidian jeremiad, but that crescendo about Yankees fans in the flesh was pretty wonderful.
   3. Cabbage Posted: July 14, 2018 at 10:19 PM (#5710019)
Ah DBH, always good for an occasional "raucous yawps of elation . . . like sea lions crying out in erotic transport."
   4. Yonder Alonso in misguided trousers (cardinal) Posted: July 14, 2018 at 10:24 PM (#5710023)
I haven't read the actual article, but that's a shining example of a "Great trade, who'd we get" type of headline.
   5. perros Posted: July 14, 2018 at 11:40 PM (#5710055)
I might have to read Hart's translation if he can mash Revelation and Maldoror like that.
   6. ERROR---Jolly Old St. Nick Posted: July 15, 2018 at 12:18 AM (#5710085)
The best thing about this article is that it's apparently written in at least semi-seriousness, although it has all the tone of one of Newman's tirades against Jerry. OTOH Gamingboy's rants against America's Team were far more original and infinitely more amusing.
   7. Loren F. Posted: July 15, 2018 at 08:52 AM (#5710145)
As a Yankees fan, I have to admit that this is totally accurate In every detail, including the yawps.
   8. PreservedFish Posted: July 15, 2018 at 10:40 AM (#5710157)
One recollects only a kaleidoscopic flux of gruesomely fragmentary impressions, too outlandish to be perfectly accurate, too vivid to be entirely false: nightmarish revenants from the dim haunts of the collective unconscious … monstrous, abortive shapes emerging from the abysmal murk of evolutionary history … things pre-hominid, even pre-mammalian … forms never quite resolving into discrete organisms, spilling over and into one another, making it uncertain where one ends and another begins. … It really is awful: ghastly glistening flesh … tentacles coiling and uncoiling, stretching and contracting … lidless orbicular eyes eerily waving on slender stalks … squamous hides, barbed quills, the unguinous sheen of cutaneous toxins … serrated tails, craggy horns, sallow fangs, gleaming talons … fragrances fungal and poisonous … sickly iridescences undulating across pallid, gelatinous underbellies or shimmering along slick, filmy scales. …


Which Lovecraft story is this?
   9. You Know Nothing JT Snow (YR) Posted: July 15, 2018 at 10:48 AM (#5710158)
At the Mountains of Bullshit
   10. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: July 15, 2018 at 11:40 AM (#5710185)
At the Mountains of Bullshit


I thought of you while reading this whole article, YR.

   11. perros Posted: July 15, 2018 at 11:46 AM (#5710195)

Which Lovecraft story is this?


Def buying his translation.
   12. PreservedFish Posted: July 15, 2018 at 12:40 PM (#5710240)
I too am intrigued.
   13. Pat Rapper's Delight (as quoted on MLB Network) Posted: July 15, 2018 at 01:09 PM (#5710251)
Wonderful! Brilliant! Every word a literary masterpiece on its own! I will read this again and again and again.
   14. The Anthony Kennedy of BBTF (Scott) Posted: July 15, 2018 at 01:37 PM (#5710258)
I remember hearing the Imperial March (aka Darth Vader's theme) being played at Yankee games, I always thought that was a nice, knowing touch.
   15. Bote Man Posted: July 15, 2018 at 01:41 PM (#5710261)
I too am intrigued.

Then subscribe to his newsletter!!
   16. jmurph Posted: July 15, 2018 at 01:46 PM (#5710263)
A little too even-handed for my tastes but I'll allow it.

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