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Friday, June 01, 2012

OT: The Soccer Thread: June

Euro 2012 Kicks Off!

Notable Early Round Matches:

Basically anything in Group B, which features teams currently ranked second, fourth, fifth and tenth in the FIFA rankings. That’s insane. Matchdays are June 9 (Saturday), 13 (Wednesday) and 17 (Sunday—Father’s Day). Don’t miss ‘em.

RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: June 01, 2012 at 09:52 PM | 2536 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
Tags: soccer

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1001. Baldrick Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:37 PM (#4155729)

Bendtner!!

1002. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:38 PM (#4155730)

That was a freaking cross!

1003. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:38 PM (#4155731)

Well, maybe he is the Best Striker in the World

1004. Baldrick Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:38 PM (#4155732)

Bendtner, better than Ronaldo. Will he be transferring to Madrid soon?

1005. FancyPantsHandle glistening with foreign substance Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:38 PM (#4155733)

HOLY ##### ###!

1006. Weekly Journalist_ Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:38 PM (#4155734)

Bahah all Ronaldos fault!!!

1007. RobertMachemer Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:38 PM (#4155735)

If the run of play is always against you, your goals are always against the run of play.

True enough. But Denmark was ranked in the top ten before the tournament -- surely at some point in their games, they ought to look threatening (other than in the milliseconds before their shots roll in the goal). I realize that Denmark is playing against some strong teams, but they don't look dangerous -- up until they score. Again.

1008. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:38 PM (#4155736)

Now Bendtner and Arshavin are neck and neck for best Arsenal player in the tournament!

1009. ursus arctos Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:41 PM (#4155739)

Someone told Ronaldo that he was a shoo-in for the Balloon d'Or.

1010. FancyPantsHandle glistening with foreign substance Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:41 PM (#4155740)

Now Bendtner and Arshavin are neck and neck for best ~~Arsenal~~ player in the tournament!

1011. I am going to be Frank Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:42 PM (#4155741)

How do you let the only Dane capable of scoring a goal float away from you? Ronaldo not tracking back - shocking!

1012. Tike Redman's Shattered Dreams (shayborg) Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:43 PM (#4155742)

Bendtner vs. Portugal is one of the craziest streaks ever. 6 goals in 5 games and no defeats.

1013. Baldrick Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:44 PM (#4155746)

Ronaldo completely misses a volley on the corner. This just gets better and better!

1014. Tike Redman's Shattered Dreams (shayborg) Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:45 PM (#4155747)

Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Silvestre Varela?

(But what a strike. Damn.)

1015. I am going to be Frank Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:45 PM (#4155748)

Wow that was a goal!

1016. RobertMachemer Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:45 PM (#4155749)

Damn.

1017. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:45 PM (#4155750)

I am very glad I stated home from work today to watch this one. Holy moly.

1018. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:45 PM (#4155751)

Portugal should get a bonus point for carrying Ronaldo this game.

1019. Weekly Journalist_ Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:45 PM (#4155754)

You cpuld sense that coming

1020. Baldrick Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:46 PM (#4155755)

Missing the first hit was actually crucial to that goal. I don't think there's much chance of him scoring if he hits the initial one. The angle was far better on the second try.

1021. Darkness and the howling fantods Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:46 PM (#4155756)

ronaldo better buy that dude a car, or a house, or a small island.

1022. Tike Redman's Shattered Dreams (shayborg) Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:46 PM (#4155757)

I was hoping for the 20 Twatball points from Pepe and Ronaldo for failing to hold a 2-goal lead.

1023. Swedish Chef Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:50 PM (#4155761)

But Denmark was ranked in the top ten before the tournament

Contrary to popular opinion, Denmark is currently not a football world power.

1024. Darkness and the howling fantods Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:52 PM (#4155764)

I get a big kick out of Daniel Agger, center forward.

1025. FancyPantsHandle glistening with foreign substance Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:53 PM (#4155766)

But Denmark was ranked in the top ten before the tournament

Contrary to popular opinion, Denmark is currently not a football world power.

Yep. FIFA rankings are pretty much a joke.

1026. Baldrick Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:53 PM (#4155767)

Remember when the US was ranked something like #4 in the world going into the 2006 World Cup...yeah.

1027. Textbook Editor Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:55 PM (#4155770)

Wow, that Ronaldo miss was... wow. I've seen better finishing in rec league.

1028. Baldrick Posted: June 13, 2012 at 01:59 PM (#4155772)

Really hoping for a Dutch win in this next game. All four teams tied on 3 points going into the final game in the Group of Death would just be unbelievably cool.

1029. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:09 PM (#4155780)

Really hoping for a Dutch win in this next game. All four teams tied on 3 points going into the final game in the Group of Death would just be unbelievably cool.

That would make for an insane 2 hours on Sunday.

1030. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:13 PM (#4155783)

Dead silence about Redknapp today on the intertubes.

DiMatteo gets a 2 year deal from Chelsea, so no problem buying out that second year if Pep wants the job next summer. Don't get comfortable Roberto.

Jaaskaleinen headed from Wolves to West Ham. Robert Green rumored to be on his way to QPR.

1031. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:15 PM (#4155785)

Germany: 1-Manuel Neuer; 20-Jerome Boateng, 14-Holger Badstuber, 5-Mats Hummels, 16-Philipp Lahm; 7-Bastian Schweinsteiger, 6-Sami Khedira; 13-Thomas Mueller, 8-Mesut Ozil; 10-Lukas Podolski, 23-Mario Gomez.

Holland: 1-Maarten Stekelenburg; 2-Gregory van der Wiel, 3-John Heitinga, 4-Joris Mathijsen, 15-Jetro Willems; 6-Mark van Bommel, 8-Nigel de Jong; 11-Arjen Robben, 10-Wesley Sneijder, 20-Ibrahim Afellay; 16-Robin van Persie.

Nothing shocking there. Man, if Holland had Belgium's centerbacks...

1032. Mattbert Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:23 PM (#4155793)

Jaaskaleinen headed from Wolves to West Ham. Robert Green rumored to be on his way to QPR.

Jussi's leaving Bolton for East London, unless I missed something...

1033. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:25 PM (#4155797)

Jussi's leaving Bolton for East London, unless I missed something...

D'oh, I get confused. Once they get relegated all those clubs look the same to me.

1034. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:29 PM (#4155802)

Poor Ballack, the guy just isn't made for American TV right now. Trying to tell that joke was painful, but nothing more than this:

Ley: [Over highlights of a German goal] Beautiful finishing, wasn't it Michael?
Ballack: Yes. [Awkward pause] Simple.

1035. Textbook Editor Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:41 PM (#4155813)

EPSN's FC Euro 2012 page is collapsing as I type this--headlines disappearing, error messages popping up...

1036. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:41 PM (#4155816)

Ley: [Over highlights of a German goal] Beautiful finishing, wasn't it Michael?
Ballack: Yes. [Awkward pause] Simple.

He should have said, "It's not a tumor!"

1037. Textbook Editor Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:42 PM (#4155817)

Ley: [Over highlights of a German goal] Beautiful finishing, wasn't it Michael?
Ballack: Yes. [Awkward pause] Simple.

In fairness, it's sort of a question looking for a one-word answer. I can see where a non-native English speaker would be wondering what the hell else he's supposed to say.

1038. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:46 PM (#4155821)

In fairness, it's sort of a question looking for a one-word answer. I can see where a non-native English speaker would be wondering what the hell else he's supposed to say.

I do understand that, and which is why I said that Ballack just isn't ready for American TV. I don't know if his English isn't good enough, or he's just badly coached, or what, but he's terrible. It really doesn't seem like his fault.

1039. Swedish Chef Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:50 PM (#4155826)

In the other Group B match today, Portugal beat Denmark 3-2. "After the Denmark-Portugal result," begins Simon McMahon, "a 3-2 win for Holland tonight followed by two 0-0 (or 1-1, 2-2 etc) draws in the final group games would see all three teams finish level on points with identical goals for and against. Maybe a long shot, but it could happen. What do the rules say?" Well, should this happen, it will go down to Uefa's magnificent national team coefficient ranking system. That would be good news for Germany (No3 in Uefa's system) and Portugal (No5) but not so good for Holland, or the Dutch, who are No 8, or Po' Denmark, a lowly No13. These coefficients are calculated by Michel Platini, who pulls the numbers out of the back of his trousers "multiplying each country's results from two and a half tournament cycles by their respective weighting factor, added up and divided by five (corresponding to the sum of the weighting factors)". England are No1, incidentally. Platini might actually pull the numbers from the back of his trousers.

There seems to be a system that is even more broken than the FIFA one.

1040. Textbook Editor Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:51 PM (#4155827)

It really doesn't seem like his fault.

Agreed. He does seem terrible and it's also not his fault. Why doesn't Ballack have a pundit job for whatever German TV has the rights to Euro 2012?

1041. Baldrick Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:52 PM (#4155828)

Ooooh, nice chance for RVP. Can't really expect him to convert that, but very very close.

1042. Textbook Editor Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:53 PM (#4155830)

#1039 is hysterical. Just... wow. Now I want that to happen.

1043. Baldrick Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:56 PM (#4155831)

I predicted Van Persie to win the Golden Boot.

He probably won't get that, but he will almost certainly have the most shots without a goal.

1044. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:59 PM (#4155835)

Naw, I think kherzhakov has the wayard boot already won.

1045. FancyPantsHandle glistening with foreign substance Posted: June 13, 2012 at 02:59 PM (#4155836)

Lots of sloppy passing and ball control so far. Wonder if the pitch is a bit iffy.

1046. Baldrick Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:03 PM (#4155839)

Yeah, this does not look like two of the best teams in the world at all.

1047. FancyPantsHandle glistening with foreign substance Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:06 PM (#4155843)

Not too worry Robben. There's nothing there to get injured.

1048. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:08 PM (#4155845)

Ooh, that was a really pretty little sequence. That deserved a goal.

1049. Darkness and the howling fantods Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:08 PM (#4155846)

Great first touch by Gomez.

1050. FancyPantsHandle glistening with foreign substance Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:09 PM (#4155847)

Terrible defending all around. Awful.

1051. Swedish Chef Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:10 PM (#4155850)

A failed offside trap -> Goal

1052. FancyPantsHandle glistening with foreign substance Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:13 PM (#4155853)

A failed offside trap -> Goal

Allowing a player to receive the ball at the D of the penalty box, have 3 seconds to decide what to do with the ball, without a defender coming within 10 feet of him -> Goal

1053. Textbook Editor Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:15 PM (#4155855)

Holland's in a whole heap o' trouble.

1054. Swedish Chef Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:19 PM (#4155860)

Allowing a player to receive the ball at the D of the penalty box, have 3 seconds to decide what to do with the ball, without a defender coming within 10 feet of him -> Goal

Yeah, but he got where he were with the ball thanks to the right back who canceled the offside by lingering below the center backs.

1055. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:22 PM (#4155863)

The Dutch better get their #### together, because they're going to get blown off the pitch if they don't start playing better.

1056. Swedish Chef Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:22 PM (#4155867)

Ouch. The recriminations in the Holland camp after the game will be something to behold.

1057. Darkness and the howling fantods Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:24 PM (#4155869)

You know, if you're going to play 2 defensive midfielders, you might not want to leave Schweinsteiger completely alone all the time.

1058. Baldrick Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:24 PM (#4155870)

Yikes. The Dutch are...not defending well.

1059. FancyPantsHandle glistening with foreign substance Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:24 PM (#4155871)

Again. Nobody within 10 feet of Schweinsteiger while he collects the ball and picks out Gomez. WTF are the Dutch doing?

1060. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:26 PM (#4155875)

What kind of ####### corner was that?

1061. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:26 PM (#4155876)

What's the point of the 2 defensive mids again? De Jong and Van Bommel are doing nothing and the back 4 for Holland are poor. What the hell?

1062. Swedish Chef Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:27 PM (#4155877)

What kind of ####### corner was that?

The first Dutch corners that dribbled out were not any better.

1063. Baldrick Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:28 PM (#4155879)

Sneijder looks like he is colorblind and can't tell the difference between orange and white.

1064. Swedish Chef Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:29 PM (#4155880)

They extended van Marwijk to 2016 some time ago. Some regret there, I think.

1065. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:32 PM (#4155885)

The good news is I don't need to stay in the office late to watch the second half.

1066. Darkness and the howling fantods Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:32 PM (#4155886)

You have to think Van der Vaart comes on for de Jong (or van Bommel) at the half.

1067. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:35 PM (#4155894)

You have to think Van der Vaart comes on for de Jong (or van Bommel) at the half.

And Huntelaar in for Affelay.

1068. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: June 13, 2012 at 03:36 PM (#4155896)

And while I'm knocking on poor Ballack, it's fine to do the t-shirt with a blazer thing, but when everyone else is in a suit, you really look like a jackass.

1069. Darkness and the howling fantods Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:13 PM (#4155921)

Great block.

1070. Swedish Chef Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:15 PM (#4155924)

Game on!

1071. Randy Jones

Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:15 PM (#4155925)

And we might have an actual game here.

1072. Darkness and the howling fantods Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:15 PM (#4155926)

Game on.

Edit: Coke.

1073. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:16 PM (#4155927)

Maybe the Dutch can drag themselves back into this. Much as I like them, I hope not, I can't afford to have people get the points for the Germans blowing a 2-0 lead.

1074. FancyPantsHandle glistening with foreign substance Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:18 PM (#4155928)

I hope not, I can't afford to have people get the points for the Germans blowing a 2-0 lead.

The great thing about Twatball is that we find out who the real twats are ;)

1075. Swedish Chef Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:23 PM (#4155935)

Twatpoints scored!

1076. Baldrick Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:34 PM (#4155941)

Why are the announcers saying the Germans go through with a win here? Isn't it possible for them to still go out if Denmark beats them and Portugal beats Holland? That would put three teams on 6 points, all would have beat each other, which means it would come down to goal difference. So if Denmark beat them badly, they could still go out. No?

1077. Textbook Editor Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:35 PM (#4155942)

[deleted for math stupidity]

1078. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:37 PM (#4155944)

Ooh, looks like some talk after the match

1079. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:38 PM (#4155945)

Is it they would have to just destroy Portugal to make up GD or something, while hoping for a non-draw outcome of Germany v. Denmark?

If Germany beats Denmark and the Dutch beat Portugal, it goes to goal differential in the games not involving Germany. If the Dutch won by more than one goal, they'd be through.

EDIT: If it goes to goals scored, it's gonna be Portugal or Denmark. I think.

1080. Darkness and the howling fantods Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:39 PM (#4155946)

Can someone explain how Holland can go through even with the loss today? Is it they would have to just destroy Portugal to make up GD or something, while hoping for a non-draw outcome of Germany v. Denmark? Because if head-to-head is at all a tiebreaker, they'd lose it to both Germany and Denmark.

Holland beats Portugal (badly). Germany beats Denmark. Three teams on 3 points. Head-to-head doesn't matter because they're each 1-1 against the other teams.

Edit: Coke to Matt

1081. user Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:39 PM (#4155947)

Can someone explain how Holland can go through even with the loss today? Is it they would have to just destroy Portugal to make up GD or something, while hoping for a non-draw outcome of Germany v. Denmark? Because if head-to-head is at all a tiebreaker, they'd lose it to both Germany and Denmark.

Holland beat Portugal and Germany beat Denmark. 3 way tie on 3 points between non-german sides - comes down to goal difference.

1082. Swedish Chef Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:39 PM (#4155948)

Because if head-to-head is at all a tiebreaker, they'd lose it to both Germany and Denmark.

Their chance is if Germany beats Denmark, not very far-fetched, and they beat Portugal. Then three teams have three points, and they all have lost and won one against each other, so it goes to goal difference.

1083. Textbook Editor Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:40 PM (#4155949)

So Holland now has to beat Portugal by at least 2 goals while hoping Germany beats Denmark, right? Is that the only way through for the Dutch?

1084. Swedish Chef Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:40 PM (#4155950)

[deleted for math stupidity]

FAR TOO LATE!!!

1085. Textbook Editor Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:43 PM (#4155954)

Many thanks to the rest of the responses; I don't type fast or do math fast... Well, at least Germany still has some incentive to win, especially since they can't just assume Portugal will lose. But man, that trap door for the Dutch looks awfully small to get through.

1086. FancyPantsHandle glistening with foreign substance Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:43 PM (#4155955)

I am unilaterally awarding 100 twatpoints to Arjen Robben. For being a petulant, childish, little bitch.

1087. Darkness and the howling fantods Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:43 PM (#4155956)

Why are the announcers saying the Germans go through with a win here? Isn't it possible for them to still go out if Denmark beats them and Portugal beats Holland? That would put three teams on 6 points, all would have beat each other, which means it would come down to goal difference. So if Denmark beat them badly, they could still go out. No?

Yeah, I think you're right.

1088. Textbook Editor Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:43 PM (#4155958)

[deleted for math stupidity]

FAR TOO LATE!!!

Yeah, shoulda known better... Think then type...

1089. Darkness and the howling fantods Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:44 PM (#4155959)

I am unilaterally awarding 100 twatpoints to Arjen Robben. Petulant, childish, little #####.

What happened? I was watching on espn3 and they cut off the feed at the end of the game.

Edit: Or do you just mean in general? In which case I can't help but agree. His walk around the field when he got subbed was an inspiration to angry 4 year-olds everywhere.

1090. Swedish Chef Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:51 PM (#4155964)

'Bumgate' hits Sweden's preparations for England game

Bum, ####, what's the difference? This should be awarded some points.

1091. Darkness and the howling fantods Posted: June 13, 2012 at 04:55 PM (#4155967)

Lots more rumors that Redknapp is out.

Edit: Sky is reporting that he "is set to leave Tottenham." Whatever that means.

1092. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 05:01 PM (#4155971)

Trying to find anything that looks like sourced reporting. Instead I've got Richard Keys' twitter:

Harry's gone!
1:23 PM - 13 Jun 12 via Twitter

1093. Swedish Chef Posted: June 13, 2012 at 05:01 PM (#4155973)

That probably means they are busy filling a paper bag with tenners for his payoff.

1094. Matt Clement of Alexandria Posted: June 13, 2012 at 05:05 PM (#4155975)

Ah, English reporting. The headline is "Redknapp 'to leave Spurs'", but the words "to leave Spurs" appear nowhere in the article, and do not appear to be a quote of anything but the headline writer.

Sky Sports: Redknapp "to leave Spurs":

Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp has reportedly held talks with chairman Daniel Levy amid claims the 65-year-old's tenure at White Hart Lane is set to come to an end.

The Spurs manager's camp and the club have not commented on reports that both parties have reached breaking point in not being able to reach agreement over an extension to his current deal, which is due to expire next summer.

Then who are you quoting?

EDIT: To be clear, I assume the reports are broadly true. I just think the breakdown of basic norms in sports reporting is tragically hilarious.

1095. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: June 13, 2012 at 05:16 PM (#4155985)

Something might be going on. Spurscommunity is loading slower than BBTF usually does.

1096. FancyPantsHandle glistening with foreign substance Posted: June 13, 2012 at 05:18 PM (#4155986)

What happened? I was watching on espn3 and they cut off the feed at the end of the game.

Wasn't at the end of the game, just waited till the end to post.

When he got subbed, he left the pitch on the opposite side of the field, refused to shake hands with Kuyt his replacement. And proceeded to walk around the pitch demonstratively in front of the Dutch fans.

1097. Swedish Chef Posted: June 13, 2012 at 05:21 PM (#4155988)

I just think the breakdown of basic norms in sports reporting is tragically hilarious.

It's not just sports in England, though. They often seem to think that the best way to hide your sources is to not mention them at all. So you get all these articles written from a vague but omniscient POV.

1098. Shooty is in the Trust Tree

Posted: June 13, 2012 at 05:21 PM (#4155989)

Still no confirmation and the main Spurs blog has been crashed. I'm really conflicted about this news so I will pray to Goddle for guidance.

1099. RB in NYC (Now Semi-Retired from BBTF) Posted: June 13, 2012 at 05:23 PM (#4155991)

So you get all these articles written from a vague but omniscient POV.

Or, as its known 'round my house, the Bible.

1100. Swedish Chef Posted: June 13, 2012 at 05:30 PM (#4155996)

ESPN has an actual anonymous source, probably Redknapp's cat.

ESPN sources close to Redknapp said: "It's no surprise if he has left the club, that was to be expected. He wanted a new three-year contract, but he also wanted a number of clauses in his current contract changed and updated.

"But that was never going to happen. Daniel Levy has a new training ground to pay for, budgets for new players, and the club have failed to qualify for the Champions League to help pay for them.

"Daniel also felt let down as Harry wanted the England job, and wouldn't talk about a new contract when that looked a possibility. But Daniel backed him through the tax case, helped him on other matters, and felt let down, and was not inclined to offer a new contract.

"Harry had backed himself into a corner demanding a new deal saying he couldn't go into the final year of his existing contract."

ESPN

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