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Thursday, November 24, 2011

Platoon Advantage: The War of Statistical Aggression

It’s..it’s…it’s as if frontotemporal lower-the-bar degeneration never affected Charles Beaumont!

Somewhere in the lung of Texas, the Traditionalists have met in order to subvert the growing power of the Saberists forces. With Bill James’ armies bearing down in their insurrection, Murray Chass has convened his loyal commanders to repel the rebels as his propaganda campaign has largely resulted in failure and has led to the unfortunate nickname “Blogger Chass”. Gathered together for this meeting are Evan Grant of the Texas Professionals, Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Fanatics (so named for their particularly vicious tactics), Jon Heyman of the Borasskissers, and Commodore Buster Olney of the Green Mountain Boys.

(enter Murray Chass and Buster Olney sitting on Chass’ front porch)

Blogger Chass: Hey kids, get off my lawn. We’re trying to have a meeting.

Buster Olney: Heard this: It’s alright, Murray. They’re just kids. What harm can they really do?

Chass: James, Neyer, Law, and all the rest were kids, too! Give them structure and teach obedience now, and they won’t question us later.

Olney: (rolls eyes) Heard this: I guess you’re right. Let’s start the meeting, shall we?

(Olney and Chass move into the parlor room where they start the meeting with Grant, Shaughnessy, and Heyman)

Dan Shaughnessy: Let’s kill all the bastards! NOW! NOW! NOW!

Repoz Posted: November 24, 2011 at 06:51 PM | 0 comment(s) Login to Bookmark
  Tags: fantasy baseball, sabermetrics

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