Police Raid Home of Local “Crazy Utility Player” Guy

While police officers on the scene say the house had a musty smell of urine and fecal material, all of the utility players appear to have been well-fed and cared for. Donald Leius, director of the Major League Players Association, a non-profit group dedicated to finding homes for players, is not surprised. “We could always count on Dayton to help. Finding a home for all our players can be difficult, but Dayton specialized in the hard cases, the ones nobody else wanted. Whenever we would get a little full here at our shelter, we would call Dayton in to take a look. He specifically asked for the ones with little to no power and the ones who nobody else had looked at. Don’t be too hard on him. He’s a good guy.”

Neighbors aren’t as quick to praise Moore. “Frankly, it’s a little creepy.” said Jean Patek, who lived across the street from Moore. “He would spend all night long sitting on the swing on his front porch with a bunch of utility players running around in his front yard. He would then stare at anybody who walked by, not saying anything. Where did he get them all? It just didn’t seem right.”